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It didn't sound short to me, just to the point. He does have a therapist help

him socialize on Wednesday's (while I'm in a Bible study class plays with

the kids with her help).

Loriann

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Judy,

That's a side I hadn't considered, about the tattler liking to do that so the

child gives them something to tattle on.....I'll definitely keep that in mind.

Loriann

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In a message dated 5/9/100 6:18:19 PM EST, hsmyangel@... writes:

<< Has anyone else experienced this? Is it just because he didn't know how

to handle his excitement of having a visitor? >>

Hi Loriann,

I've seen this in my home too. I think it is the excitement of playing with

the other child. My son will react to however the other child chooses to

respond. If my grandkids become very responsive, my son becomes very active

and I find him doing things he very well knows better than to do. I've seen

the kids do things so the tattler can tattle because they thought that's what

the tattler likes to do.

Judy

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In a message dated 05/09/2000 6:58:54 PM Central Daylight Time,

jmedlen@... writes:

<< I " m really really frustrated with

something that is going on at school right now and trying not to order some

nuclear warheads. >>

Hey, maybe weaponry wouldn't be such a bad idea!! ;-) Seriously, hope this

situation straightens out soon. I'm rooting for you and Andy,

Maureen

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Maybe he's just confused and doesn't know how to share? Maybe he doesn't

like her trying to play too?

Think autism....new people are an intrusion. PEOPLE are intrusions. So he

tried to block her participation by eliminating the toys.

Perhaps try to do something really fun looking with her and ask DAvid to

join....let him be the one who joins in rather than her pursuing him. It's

safer to join in than it is to have someone come into your space before

you're willing to have them.

Just a thought.

Sorry if this sounds terse or " short. " I " m really really frustrated with

something that is going on at school right now and trying not to order some

nuclear warheads.

j

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geez joan, sounds like school is yucky if your about to order warheads, let

me know.....my dh works on army post..hehe i am going to his office tomorrow

to use fax and phone for fundraiser....want me to hook you up....take care,

elah

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  • 1 year later...
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HI :

School may not always be a " good " place, I certainly know that as my oldest

son was shot at school. However it is what is generally available as a

microcosm of society. It is the main place where our kids can socialize

with their peers for the good and the bad that goes along with that.

Until we send our anxious kids to school and demand that the school respond

to their needs, there will be no change. I have found that the local

school system here is so busy handling students with disruptive behavior

disorders that they have not moved very far yet to accommodate anxious

kids. We need to keep up the pressure as anxiety disorders are very common

in children according to the Surgeon General's recent report on mental health.

Good luck to our anxious kids and especially for those like mine, who have

a mom with an anxiety disorder who works hard at modelling risk taking

behavior. Take care, aloha, Kathy (h)

kathyh@...

At 12:32 PM 06/09/2001 -0500, you wrote:

>Just felt the need to comment on this:

>

> " I do think that socialization is important and school is a good place

>to achieve that. This might be particularly important for your child

>with social anxiety. "

>

>Please remember that school is often NOT a good place to achieve

>socialization. Sometimes it is impossible to " achieve socialization " at

>school.

>

>Thanks,

> in Tx

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Hi Lydia, did I read your post correctly, that you spend hours in the car

each Monday and Friday while your daughter attends school? If so, I can

only imagine how much you would like to reduce this compulsion of your

daughter's so you could use the time she's in classes for your own needs.

Unfortunately, instead of helping your daughter cope with OCD, staying in

the parking lot while she's in school only strengthens her obsession that

she'll get sick and die if you don't. OCD is bossing you both about this.

This compulsion like any other can be reduced and eliminated through ERP.

Does your daughter's therapist plan to address this one before the start of

the next school year?

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: " Lydia Tillinghast " <dlatill@...>

>mostly outgoing but can be frightened sometimes. We live in San Diego,

California. She goes to school Monday and Fridays for a few hours a week.

I sit out in the car and wait for her because she can't be away from me

because she is afraid that she will get sick and die.

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Kathy

We are working on lower levels of her compulsions. This has been an on and off

going

type of obsession for years. Sometimes she can be off on her own and then not.

We

do exposures every day to get to the point where she will be able to be more on

her own.

Today we saw her therapist and discussed changing her medication because it

doesn't seem strong enough to address the higher level obsessions. He feels

that she has some

form of depression besides ADHD and OCD. We see her medication doctor next

week.

She admitted herself that she is getting tired of being around me all the time.

Dr. Hatton

said that might help motivate her more to work harder on her exposures.

Hopefully the

med doctor will prescribe something to work on all 3 issues. She has been on 50

mg of

Celexa for about 3 months. Her anxiety level has been lowered but she can't

seem to make headway. Her anxiety has increased since her father went out of

town for 10 days.

He will be home soon. She had one of those meltdowns when he tried to leave for

the

airport. After he left and had been gone for about 15 minutes she got better.

That type of

behavior is her biggest issue at this time. Seperation anxiety is what I tell

people that she

has so that they have some kind of understanding. I have tried to explain ocd

but it seems

like it is too hard for most people to comprehend. I have a girlfriend with ocd

that I can

talk to about ocd and of course she completely understands. So bottom line we

are

working on regaining our freedom from each other. It is taking longer that I

thought.

School is not an issue. She is in a special charter school that allows her to

take one

subject at a time. She has four weeks to complete all assignments. She is

bright and

has no problem completing her work. She seems to like this set up. It has

reduced a lot\

of stress of multi classes. It is also a year round school so she can keep up

or even

graduate early if she chooses.

Lydia in San

Diego

Kathy wrote:

> Hi Lydia, did I read your post correctly, that you spend hours in the car

> each Monday and Friday while your daughter attends school? If so, I can

> only imagine how much you would like to reduce this compulsion of your

> daughter's so you could use the time she's in classes for your own needs.

> Unfortunately, instead of helping your daughter cope with OCD, staying in

> the parking lot while she's in school only strengthens her obsession that

> she'll get sick and die if you don't. OCD is bossing you both about this.

>

> This compulsion like any other can be reduced and eliminated through ERP.

> Does your daughter's therapist plan to address this one before the start of

> the next school year?

>

> Kathy R. in Indiana

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " Lydia Tillinghast " <dlatill@...>

>

> >mostly outgoing but can be frightened sometimes. We live in San Diego,

> California. She goes to school Monday and Fridays for a few hours a week.

> I sit out in the car and wait for her because she can't be away from me

> because she is afraid that she will get sick and die.

>

> You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the

body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to

the Parents of Adults with OCD List at

parentsofadultswithOCD-subscribe . You may subscribe to the

OCD and Homeschooling List at ocdandhomeschooling-subscribe .

You may change your subscription format or access the files, bookmarks, and

archives for our list at . Our

list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan

Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule

Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or

suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at

lharkins@... .

>

>

>

>

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Hi Lydia, it sounds as though both of you are working in the right direction

to reduce your daughter's compulsions around you needing to be near to

insure her safety. Only with OCD in the picture would a mom be happy to

hear her daughter say she's tired of being around her all the time! :-)

> Seperation anxiety is what I tell people that she

> has so that they have some kind of understanding. I have tried to explain

ocd but it seems

> like it is too hard for most people to comprehend.

I too got frustrated trying to explain OCD and my explainations didn't seem

to benefit Kellen anyway. So I also started telling others (camp

counselors, swim teachers, friend's parents) that Kel tends to worry about

such-and-such or get upset if this or that happens--describing behavior they

may see rather than her diagnosis.

I am very jealous that your daughter sees Dr. Hatton! She's a very lucky

girl :-)

Kathy R. in Indiana

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  • 8 years later...
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Hey all,

Just wanted to tell you about a great socialization technique we stumbled on

completely by accident. We got a Wii (video game set up) for Christmas. To

make it more fun for the kids, we built Miis (people you can make to add

interest to the game. Since the kids were there, we build friends of theirs

from school, teachers, neighbors, etc. We have noticed out 7yr. asd guy, since

he sees those people all the time in the Wii games he plays, has become much

more social and interacts with them sooo much more with greetings, smiles and

even hugs when appropriate. We think this is just another type of video

modeling. It's made a huge difference. We just wanted to share.

nancy j

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Oh my goodness! What a great idea! My kids love making the miis and we've had

friends from the neighborhood make them too...I bet my son would love it if we

put some of his classmates and teachers in there!

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