1 ASD and 1 NT-should it matter?

January 7, 2008

I know this is probably way off the wall, but my heart is wanting to always

persevere, while still questioning everything. My son is now 5 1/2 with his ASD

I hate labeling him, anyway, when he was 2 yrs. 3 mo. just like I'd planned we

got pregnant with my now 2 1/2 yr old daughter, little did I know the concerns

we had for him would finally be labeled soon after. Just before she was born

started the endless nights of research and tears on ASD. Thankfully you came

with that of course. To my question, my plan, our original plan, the dream of a

big family, was already minimized before the first pregnancy down from 6 kids to

3 or 4, husband 3, me leaning more towards 4, really 1 or 2 was great to him,

but who knew he'd land me for a wife, anyway. Nothing is smooth sailing, when

you constantly strive for ways to better your lives right so should the fear of

special needs loom over the decision to have another child now more than it did

the first or second

time around, I personally think not, but would love to hear what others feel.

My daughter hasn't been updated on vaccines since just before her two month

visit. She's doing so well. My son is doing really REALLY well compared to the

looming expectations I was given 3 years ago. Even when they asked me both times

I was pregnant if I wanted the test done to check for Downs Syndrome I told them

no. Knowing good and well my family history and just the plain possibility was

enough to tell me that I was taking a chance, but I praid and faith has led me

and pulled us through. Advice from parents on things to put extra consideration

into would also be helpful. I don't believe that adding a new loved one to our

family will be taking anything away from the rest of my family. I truly see only

additions, even if they are hard to understand.

God Bless

Tina 26

Lyric 5 1/2

Harmony 2 1/2

P.S. This time around we'll be tieing the tubes, no option for the 4th, but

after being on the pill now for 10 years almost total, it's time to take care of

it another way right? If a 4th comes he or she was definetly meant to be.

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January 8, 2008

I don't think it should matter. My own health issues and a miscarriage

kept us from having the more we wanted, but the 4 we have I wouldn't

have changed my mind about for the world! We did have to make the same

decision to stop short of our desired flock. But, it was because I was

getting older than I wanted to be having children, and I have a spinal

defect that was causing issues.

As for the health of the children, there really are no guarantees

whether you have a family history or not. You are here now, and know so

much more than when your son was born. You've stopped vaccinating, and

are on the right path toward recovering him. We have 4, and didn't even

realize how affected our son was until I innocently signed on to this

group for another reason - to request info to make a comment to a news

article about autism that was very badly written and misleading. We

haven't believed in doctors or labels in a long time, so never had our

son diagnosed. We homeschooled all the kids, so it really wasn't

necessary. We also don't use government support, so special ed wasn't an

issue to need a diag. We just had our suspicions did our research and

kept them to ourselves and let him lead as normal a life as possible,

adjusting as we needed. Adjustments like when we really knew that trying

to have him do rec department sports with his friends wasn't going to

work when he started rolling around on the soccer field instead of

chasing the ball. Everyone was dodging him as they played. :-0 He

didn't care that he didn't play the sports. He also never felt he was

less than anyone else, but he definitely knew he was different. During

that time we watched a lot of little boys his age, friends of his, get

diagnosed and start jumping through medical hoops which really didn't

help them.

He is 17 now, and just the biomed we've started this past year has made

a big difference. He wants to go to college, which I was very leery

about just a year ago when he graduated high school. Thankfully, he

decided to wait a year until he was 18. Now, I'm very confident that he

will do well in college since we can do more for him than we thought

possible to help him heal. (see his sister's college story below) I

would never have wanted to decide not to have the other children because

he is on the spectrum. To be honest, the more I learn, the more I find

that the girls' problems are just as related as his, and I want to

chelate them all. He's always been pretty high functioning, but a real

embarrassment in public - especially to my husband. He does much better

now, but his sisters. . .man. One is constantly having stomach aches,

headaches, and even has been known to vomit randomly. She is getting

better now that I've gotten some supplements to deal with her issues.

I'm almost more anxious to do her hair test than his.

The older sisters, well we've been on a maintenance lifestyle, which I

also didn't recognize until coming here, for years. Then we sent #1 off

to college where her health almost immediately fell to pieces. She was

irrational by the end of her four years, monthly cramping so bad she was

incapacitated, constant cold symptoms, headaches, stomach aches, just a

real mess!!! I didn't realize how much of a maintenance lifestyle we

were on then either. I just thought it was excess stress and bad

cafeteria food. Graduation, marriage and back to the maintenance

lifestyle hasn't snapped her out of it though. So, she too will get a

hair test (and her husband before he completely loses all of his -

lol). The fourth child. Well, she just breaks down and cries for no

reason on a regular basis, we always thought it personality because she

is so driven - 21 and production supervisor for a national media

company, VERY driven. But, now we are seeing through all I'm learning

here that there is much more to her " personality " than, well,

personality. I was like most people I know, just plowing on chalking

all the discomforts of life and health to just that life and health. We

started the maintenance lifestyle because of my husband's kidney cancer

when we were just starting out. I'm very glad we did, at least until we

found how to fix the problems. I don't know how messed up my children

would be otherwise. People have ridiculed us for our strict diet and

lifestyle for years. But, my reward is now knowing that it was worth

it, and there is something more I can do to recover us all.

Now, I've got some pretty wide open eyes. But, one thing that my husband

and I are always thankful for is that we didn't know then what we know

now. If we had, we may have struggled with decisions and maybe even not

had some of the children. Of course, some of what we know now may have

saved us from the ills we suffer - for example: we wouldn't have

vaccinated at all. In the end, I chalk it up to life. We need to make

decisions based on the knowledge we have, and do the best we can. I've

also come to the realization that sharing the knowledge with others

might not help, but it never really hurts, just makes 'em mad sometimes.

Just make the best decisions you can, with the knowledge you have now,

keep learning and enjoying life. You are starting yours toward recovery

much sooner than we knew to start ours. I sometimes wish I had known

this when he was 5 1/2, but I didn't. And, I wouldn't trade a second

with him or his siblings for the world. But, we are even more excited

about the future now. Enjoy your children and the decisions you make.

P.

Largey wrote: