Re: Fitting in... at what cost

[Guest guest]

yeah...Poppy use to do that to my son...and i would say stop teasing him...but he never did...it is sad that some people just NEVER get it...but I do know one thing...my son misses him and knows he loved him...

jan

p.s. I think some people just don't believe in AS...and maybe your mom is one of those...they just don't see it...it is not like our children have downs or spina bifida or MS ...something they can really see...our children seem just like other NTs in many ways...our children's disability is not phsycial....people don't see it ...so they don't get it...would they tease someone with Downs? I doubt it!!!

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 1:52:25 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Fitting in... at what cost

I had to go to a family funeral the last few days and I took my mom along as well. Well, she knows my 13 yo ds takes things literally but she would keep teasing him and saying off the wall things to him, as if he would eventually smile and "get it" - he never did. So there I was, constantly saying, "Mom, he is taking you seriously" and she would laugh and say, "I know!" and keep at it. Was this funny?!?!? And so I'd have to take my ds aside or yell over her laughing in the car and say, "Grandma is just joking you, she is not seriously going to do that..." even though it did not really reassure him. I don't know why people do this! It can make a person want to scream. I wanted to scream! AUGH!!!!!!

Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) Re: Fitting in... at what cost Date: Thursday, 18 February, 2010, 19:18

For us, the fitting in only goes so far as to try to make sure she is able to learn in school and then get a career she loves and can be independent. With her spirit, I know she would be happy with nothing less. Also, it's survival instinct. As a woman she is more likely to be victimized and having the ability to 'read' danger signals is important and I will try my best to give her some street smarts if I can. If she wants to be alone all the time, doesn't want to date, plays with Legos until she's 80 then so be it! :)Jen >> > I'm just wondering what people's perspectives are on the issue of> 'fitting in'. I've been reading a lot of articles by aspies, and many> seem to feel that forcing

them to fit in or trying to 'cure them' is the> wrong approach. Do you worry that 'training' your Aspie to fit in will> fundamentally change who they are meant to be, or are you confident that> training them to fit in is the best thing for them in the long run?> > This is a piece of the puzzle that I am still perplexed by... how far do> you go with treatments before you start erasing the individual and not> just the disorder...> > Caitlin> Embracing change as a blessing in disguise at www.welcome- to-normal. com> <http://www.welcome- to-normal. com>>

[Guest guest]

I just think she thought that if she teases with him enough, he will learn to laugh and not take her seriously. But it was more than annoying to me having to deal with it. She has not been around him a lot so she doesn't know a lot about him. But he is so fragile lately that it isn't a good time to experiment with him.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) Re: Fitting in... at what cost

Date: Thursday, 18 February, 2010, 19:18

For us, the fitting in only goes so far as to try to make sure she is able to learn in school and then get a career she loves and can be independent. With her spirit, I know she would be happy with nothing less. Also, it's survival instinct. As a woman she is more likely to be victimized and having the ability to 'read' danger signals is important and I will try my best to give her some street smarts if I can.

If she wants to be alone all the time, doesn't want to date, plays with Legos until she's 80 then so be it!

Jen

>

>

> I'm just wondering what people's perspectives are on the issue of

> 'fitting in'. I've been reading a lot of articles by aspies, and many

> seem to feel that forcing

them to fit in or trying to 'cure them' is the

> wrong approach. Do you worry that 'training' your Aspie to fit in will

> fundamentally change who they are meant to be, or are you confident that

> training them to fit in is the best thing for them in the long run?

>

> This is a piece of the puzzle that I am still perplexed by... how far do

> you go with treatments before you start erasing the individual and not

> just the disorder...

>

> Caitlin

> Embracing change as a blessing in disguise at www.welcome- to-normal. com

> <http://www.welcome- to-normal. com>

>