Guest guest Posted July 29, 2009 Report Share Posted July 29, 2009 I will have to go to sponge baths for now, but don't know what to do about his hair... Stickers/charts/rewards don't work. Started a chart over 4 months ago for something else and it still only has 2 stickers, 3 shy of the prize. He doesn't want to play in the tub. He used to up until about 5-6 weeks ago. He has tons of bath toys. He will play in water outside. Maybe I can sneak in some shampoo that way I wish I could find the cause of this. Thanks > > > > My 4yo DS has started to refuse to take a bath (or shower). I don't think it is a behavioral things, as he used to take really long baths and play, but cut that out about a month ago, wanting to just get clean and get out. Then he started talking about not wanting to take a bath, saying I can't take a bath, and now downright refusal. > > I do believe his sensory issues are getting worse, but have no idea what to do. First, then does not work, neither does reward or punishment...I've hit a brick wall. > > I have not been able to pinpoint with him what the issue is. There was no 'episode' I can remember, like really bad soap in his eyes or anything. Just one possibility is of getting poop in the tub (he's not potty-trained) and was having that problem for awhile. > > Is the water too hot, too cold, too many bubbles, etc. But nothing so far from him about what is bothering. > > Any suggestions? > > TJ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2009 Report Share Posted July 29, 2009 Do you recall what caused it? Was it sensory, and something that just got worse, to the point where she couldn't take it anymore? That's what I think is going on with him, but haven't hit on what 'that' is yet. I do cover his face when rinsing, and always have. I didn't change anything, like the soap or shampoo. I did stop using the bubbles and tub tints when he decided he was not going to be playing in it anymore and just wanted a fast bath. He was ok with that. Or so he said, LOL. Thanks TJ > > We had this for a while with DD at the same age - although I don't know > what finally swung it back again, we tried changing bath time to a > totally different time of day, new bath toy, different brand/smell of > bubbles, bath crayons, different towel, new PJ's for afterwards. > > Another major thing we changed was to " jet " dry her. This was about the > time we began to really tap into her sensory issues and DH came up with > the " jet dry " - to rub her firmly all over with the towel which dried > her quickly, warmed her up and also dealt with the sensory touch issues. > Even now she hates being " sticky " as she calls it after bath trying to > put her PJ's on although she does finally dry and dress herself. I also > allow her to wash her face in the sink with a flannel after her bath > rather than in it as she hates getting her face wet. > > One other thing, about the same time - if you're getting the picture, we > were desperate and tried anything!!! - I also changed washing her hair > from being in the bath with a cup/jug to using the spray on the taps > which meant more control and less water near her eyes. I also taught > her to use a flannel over her eyes and got an eye protector that looks a > bit like a halo that went round her head with the hair all on the one > side of it. > > Hope some/any/all of this helps!!! > > a > > ( ) Bath refusal > > > My 4yo DS has started to refuse to take a bath (or shower). I don't > think it is a behavioral things, as he used to take really long baths > and play, but cut that out about a month ago, wanting to just get clean > and get out. Then he started talking about not wanting to take a bath, > saying I can't take a bath, and now downright refusal. > I do believe his sensory issues are getting worse, but have no idea what > to do. First, then does not work, neither does reward or > punishment..-.I've hit a brick wall. > I have not been able to pinpoint with him what the issue is. There was > no 'episode' I can remember, like really bad soap in his eyes or > anything. Just one possibility is of getting poop in the tub (he's not > potty-trained) and was having that problem for awhile. > Is the water too hot, too cold, too many bubbles, etc. But nothing so > far from him about what is bothering. > Any suggestions? > TJ > > No virus found in this outgoing message. > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > Version: 8.5.392 / Virus Database: 270.13.32/2266 - Release Date: > 07/28/09 06:00:00 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2009 Report Share Posted July 29, 2009 My daughter has very curly hair. When she was 4 I was still worried about ticks a lot and forced her to lay in the water and I didn't wash it with shampoo if she didn't want that but I insisted that we get it wet so I could comb it. I let her use up my towels as pillows to get comfortable ...but she had to get wet. Soap apparently is now our issue and anything with bubbles. My daughter respond to rewards that are immediate ..wash your hair and you get this surprise (something wrapped up) ..now that she is 12 ..take your shower or you don't get TV tonight. Shower time is at 7pm to allow time for TV before bed and books at 8pm. respond Pam > > > > > > My 4yo DS has started to refuse to take a bath (or shower). I don't think it is a behavioral things, as he used to take really long baths and play, but cut that out about a month ago, wanting to just get clean and get out. Then he started talking about not wanting to take a bath, saying I can't take a bath, and now downright refusal. > > > I do believe his sensory issues are getting worse, but have no idea what to do. First, then does not work, neither does reward or punishment...I've hit a brick wall. > > > I have not been able to pinpoint with him what the issue is. There was no 'episode' I can remember, like really bad soap in his eyes or anything. Just one possibility is of getting poop in the tub (he's not potty-trained) and was having that problem for awhile. > > > Is the water too hot, too cold, too many bubbles, etc. But nothing so far from him about what is bothering. > > > Any suggestions? > > > TJ > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2009 Report Share Posted July 30, 2009 You might try working on this as a "chore" to be gotten through until you can pinpoint what caused the problem. For instance, write a social story about how we all have to bathe, skin needs cleaning, smell, etc. Short and sweet as appropriate to his interests/age. Then put up a schedule and schedule the bath times. Make them short but clean everything, matter of fact and then let him out. Also find something unique he can do or have after bath times to make him associate good things with taking a bath (a special treat only given at this time, a wrestle match with daddy only held after he's clean, a movie and popcorn on nights he has the bath, etc.) Make the treat part of the bath experience. Then keep trying to help him tell you what's wrong. It's so hard when they can't explain what the problem is. Let us know how it's going! Roxanna "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke ( ) Bath refusal My 4yo DS has started to refuse to take a bath (or shower). I don't think it is a behavioral things, as he used to take really long baths and play, but cut that out about a month ago, wanting to just get clean and get out. Then he started talking about not wanting to take a bath, saying I can't take a bath, and now downright refusal. I do believe his sensory issues are getting worse, but have no idea what to do. First, then does not work, neither does reward or punishment...I've hit a brick wall. I have not been able to pinpoint with him what the issue is. There was no 'episode' I can remember, like really bad soap in his eyes or anything. Just one possibility is of getting poop in the tub (he's not potty-trained) and was having that problem for awhile. Is the water too hot, too cold, too many bubbles, etc. But nothing so far from him about what is bothering. Any suggestions? TJ Hot Deals at Dell on Popular Laptops perfect for Back to School Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2009 Report Share Posted July 30, 2009 Yes, a social story might work, thanks for the idea. The special treat probably won't. He gets a graham cracker and milk every night at 7pm already. That was my first, then...item. Didn't work.Wrestling/tickling with Daddy happens everynight. I'll keep trying to think of something. Also, tonight I will leave and have DH try to handle the bath, just to totally rule out it being a 'giving Mommy a hard time' kinda thing. Which I don't think it is. But we'll see. Thanks TJ > > > You might try working on this as a " chore " to be gotten through until you can pinpoint what caused the problem.? For instance, write a social story about how we all have to bathe, skin needs cleaning, smell, etc.? Short and sweet as appropriate to his interests/age.? Then put up a schedule and schedule the bath times.? Make them short but clean everything, matter of fact and then let him out.? Also find something unique he can do or have after bath times to make him associate good things with taking a bath (a special treat only given at this time, a wrestle match with daddy only held after he's clean, a movie and popcorn on nights he has the bath, etc.)? Make the treat part of the bath experience.? > > Then keep trying to help him tell you what's wrong.? It's so hard when they can't explain what the problem is.? Let us know how it's going! > > > > > > ?Roxanna > > " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke > > > > > > > ( ) Bath refusal > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > My 4yo DS has started to refuse to take a bath (or shower). I don't think it is a behavioral things, as he used to take really long baths and play, but cut that out about a month ago, wanting to just get clean and get out. Then he started talking about not wanting to take a bath, saying I can't take a bath, and now downright refusal. > > I do believe his sensory issues are getting worse, but have no idea what to do. First, then does not work, neither does reward or punishment...I've hit a brick wall. > > I have not been able to pinpoint with him what the issue is. There was no 'episode' I can remember, like really bad soap in his eyes or anything. Just one possibility is of getting poop in the tub (he's not potty-trained) and was having that problem for awhile. > > Is the water too hot, too cold, too many bubbles, etc. But nothing so far from him about what is bothering. > > Any suggestions? > > TJ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2009 Report Share Posted July 30, 2009 > > Yes, a social story might work, thanks for the idea. > The special treat probably won't. He gets a graham cracker and milk every night at 7pm already. That was my first, then...item. Didn't work. Hi TJ. My now 14yo son with Asperger has had bath refusal ever since he got old enough to bathe himself. We did a variety of things to get him bathing, although he still doesn't really see the point of it (at least as often as most people do) so it is an ongoing thing. We've been discussing this in recent posts and I'm not sure if you were a part of those discussions or not, point being, I hope I'm not repeating myself to you. My apologies if I am. One thing I don't think I've mentioned that pertains to what you said above is--I moved bath time so I could use a " first then " that I knew would work consistently. It is a little awkward to have bath time earlier in the evening, but you may have to do that to snag a " first then " that will work. And hopefully your son's bath refusal will not be long-term like my son's, so the inconvenience will not be forever. Another key thing was that we switched to showers around your son's age. Our son was getting way too finicky about the state of the tub and water and showers were just tons easier; luckily he liked them better too. My husband really did a sales job to get him to switch, so that helped. I think my husband helped him the first few times too, to keep him from having bad experiences like accidentally getting soap in his eyes or something. Other things were giving explicit step-by-step instructions for things most kids just naturally pick up like washing his hair (especially if your son has DCD and/or executive dysfunction), body wash instead of bar soap, organizational help like getting a clean towel for him, making sure all his supplies are there and in the right place. The bath refusal actually taught us a lot about our son's weaknesses. We knew he wasn't well coordinated and had organizational problems--but we didn't think about things like how hard it is to grasp and manuever a bar of soap and how hard it is to remember to make sure you have a towel for when you get out of a bath before you get in for a child with DCD and executive dysfunction. What I'm leading up to is saying maybe make sure your son is not overwhelmed by the details of the bath. If you are expecting him to do it all on his own, maybe he isn't ready for that yet or maybe he needs a checklist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2009 Report Share Posted July 30, 2009 I still struggle with a 7 year old AS son getting him to take a bath. He refuses showers too. I keep hoping this will change soon especially before he starts needing deodarant. On Thu, Jul 30, 2009 at 2:44 PM, r_woman2 <me2ruth@...> wrote:  >> Yes, a social story might work, thanks for the idea. > The special treat probably won't. He gets a graham cracker and milk every night at 7pm already. That was my first, then...item. Didn't work.Hi TJ. My now 14yo son with Asperger has had bath refusal ever since he got old enough to bathe himself. We did a variety of things to get him bathing, although he still doesn't really see the point of it (at least as often as most people do) so it is an ongoing thing. We've been discussing this in recent posts and I'm not sure if you were a part of those discussions or not, point being, I hope I'm not repeating myself to you. My apologies if I am. One thing I don't think I've mentioned that pertains to what you said above is--I moved bath time so I could use a " first then " that I knew would work consistently. It is a little awkward to have bath time earlier in the evening, but you may have to do that to snag a " first then " that will work. And hopefully your son's bath refusal will not be long-term like my son's, so the inconvenience will not be forever. Another key thing was that we switched to showers around your son's age. Our son was getting way too finicky about the state of the tub and water and showers were just tons easier; luckily he liked them better too. My husband really did a sales job to get him to switch, so that helped. I think my husband helped him the first few times too, to keep him from having bad experiences like accidentally getting soap in his eyes or something. Other things were giving explicit step-by-step instructions for things most kids just naturally pick up like washing his hair (especially if your son has DCD and/or executive dysfunction), body wash instead of bar soap, organizational help like getting a clean towel for him, making sure all his supplies are there and in the right place. The bath refusal actually taught us a lot about our son's weaknesses. We knew he wasn't well coordinated and had organizational problems--but we didn't think about things like how hard it is to grasp and manuever a bar of soap and how hard it is to remember to make sure you have a towel for when you get out of a bath before you get in for a child with DCD and executive dysfunction. What I'm leading up to is saying maybe make sure your son is not overwhelmed by the details of the bath. If you are expecting him to do it all on his own, maybe he isn't ready for that yet or maybe he needs a checklist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2009 Report Share Posted July 30, 2009 Yes, I've been following your posts, but it's a little different situation. Since my son just turned 4 and has the coordination issues, I am still doing all the work. He refuses showers as well. The 7pm graham cracker is after the bath, first bath, then cracker, even tried another 'then', playing with his leapster for 30 minutes. Ah, we'll see how well he does with daddy tonight. I am taking a break! Thanks > > > > Yes, a social story might work, thanks for the idea. > > The special treat probably won't. He gets a graham cracker and milk every night at 7pm already. That was my first, then...item. Didn't work. > > Hi TJ. My now 14yo son with Asperger has had bath refusal ever since he got old enough to bathe himself. We did a variety of things to get him bathing, although he still doesn't really see the point of it (at least as often as most people do) so it is an ongoing thing. We've been discussing this in recent posts and I'm not sure if you were a part of those discussions or not, point being, I hope I'm not repeating myself to you. My apologies if I am. > > One thing I don't think I've mentioned that pertains to what you said above is--I moved bath time so I could use a " first then " that I knew would work consistently. It is a little awkward to have bath time earlier in the evening, but you may have to do that to snag a " first then " that will work. And hopefully your son's bath refusal will not be long-term like my son's, so the inconvenience will not be forever. > > Another key thing was that we switched to showers around your son's age. Our son was getting way too finicky about the state of the tub and water and showers were just tons easier; luckily he liked them better too. My husband really did a sales job to get him to switch, so that helped. I think my husband helped him the first few times too, to keep him from having bad experiences like accidentally getting soap in his eyes or something. > > Other things were giving explicit step-by-step instructions for things most kids just naturally pick up like washing his hair (especially if your son has DCD and/or executive dysfunction), body wash instead of bar soap, organizational help like getting a clean towel for him, making sure all his supplies are there and in the right place. > > The bath refusal actually taught us a lot about our son's weaknesses. We knew he wasn't well coordinated and had organizational problems--but we didn't think about things like how hard it is to grasp and manuever a bar of soap and how hard it is to remember to make sure you have a towel for when you get out of a bath before you get in for a child with DCD and executive dysfunction. > > What I'm leading up to is saying maybe make sure your son is not overwhelmed by the details of the bath. If you are expecting him to do it all on his own, maybe he isn't ready for that yet or maybe he needs a checklist. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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