How do you Teach Boundaries and 'Public Safety' ???

August 18, 2010

We had another scary incident today and I don't know what to do.

Our Aspie son is 4.5yrs old. He doesn't understand boundaries and takes off

running when something catches his attention. Taking him out anywhere is always

a stressful and exhausting adventure. Sometimes he does well and things go

smoothly. Other times it's a constant struggle. Shopping in the grocery store

is very hard. I try to keep him involved in the process (using a shopping list

and having him help) but that doesn't always work.

He doesn't seem to understand the dangers that are out there. He has run into

traffic before. Today he broke out of our locked backyard gate and took off

running. I understand why, the neighborhood kids were playing out in the common

drive area and he wanted to play with them. We live in a complex of duplexes

with a long common drive off of a fairly busy road. My husband was out in the

yard with him (and his 2 yr old brother) and I saw him run past the window and

realized what must have happened. By the time I caught up with him, he had ran

INSIDE a neighbors house. He just went right inside like he lived there. I

have talked to him about this, but it doesn't seem to be making the right

impression.

After extracting him from the house the neighbor said " Good-Bye " kind of

irritatedly and Tyler responded, " Yeah....yeah.....Thank You, I'll see you again

next time....Good-bye " - and we don't know this person.

He just didn't get it.

I tried talking to him after getting him back in the house, in which he wanted

to break down the door and of course was upset. He has been talking about

breaking things lately when upset, but he isn't violent. He just says it

verbally.

I told him that there is a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things.

The wrong way is bad and the right way is good. The right way is to ask Mommy

or Daddy to go outside with him. The wrong way is to break out and do it alone.

I tried telling him about the dangers of getting hit by a car, getting lost, or

getting hurt and us not knowing where he was to help him. He was fixated on the

right and wrong way - so atleast that made an impact (him liking to understand

and do things logically).

At what point do you tell them about the real dangers of getting lost and about

dangerous people? How do you broach these subjects?

We do go out in the commom area and let him ride his tricycle, draw with

sidewalk chalk, and go down the drive to check the mail, and he has played with

one of the girls in the complex before.

I know he feels lonely and we are trying to get him into more social activities,

but it is hard.

We were planning on taking the boys to the airshow this weekend, but now I don't

feel comfortable with that. Such a large crowd, a lot of noise.......I just

don't know.

~ P.

August 24, 2010

He sounds a lot like my now 13 yo ds (hfa) when he was that age. He also took off all the time. He has run into people's houses a few times - twice actually. But he really lived for people's cars. He loved to get in cars. I remember one day that the post lady was at the front door, I went to answer it when I heard the bells on the back door ring and knew he had gone for her little post truck. Next time, she remembered to lock her door. lol.

I would not go to an air show unless you have complete confidence that you can keep track of him. My ds could slip away in a heartbeat and we quickly learned to keep track of him at all times. We made our plans with his needs in mind and we often did not travel because it would be so stressful to keep track of him. I used to put bells on the doors so that if he got out, I would hear it. Do not let him run around unattended, even for a second. His safety has to be first.

Teaching him lessons would be important. Use social stories that you can write up yourself about safety issues. Read them at bedtime to teach lessons. We used to make them up using pictures of him and typing it up on the computer - then we would put them in a small portable photo album to read. He loved them. They either taught vocabulary or a lesson we were working on with him.

I would not worry about teaching him what evil lurks out there. Instead, just teach the rule in a positive way and remind him constantly until he learns. "Before we leave the car, we need to hold hands!" is a rule. Make up a few that cover your needs and repeat them a lot and in positive ways, as much as possible. Then praise him a lot when he is doing what he supposed to be doing.

You are doing great by finding things for him to do as well while shopping- find the letters on packages, have him find the right brand name, match up pictures to items, count how many, etc. Try to shop while he's in pre-school as well, which helps. Or make a little bag of fidget toys that you only get out during shopping trips if he sits in the cart nicely.

Hang in there.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) How do you Teach Boundaries and 'Public Safety' ???

We had another scary incident today and I don't know what to do.

Our Aspie son is 4.5yrs old. He doesn't understand boundaries and takes off running when something catches his attention. Taking him out anywhere is always a stressful and exhausting adventure. Sometimes he does well and things go smoothly. Other times it's a constant struggle. Shopping in the grocery store is very hard. I try to keep him involved in the process (using a shopping list and having him help) but that doesn't always work.

He doesn't seem to understand the dangers that are out there. He has run into traffic before. Today he broke out of our locked backyard gate and took off running. I understand why, the neighborhood kids were playing out in the common drive area and he wanted to play with them. We live in a complex of duplexes with a long common drive off of a fairly busy road. My husband was out in the yard with him (and his 2 yr old brother) and I saw him run past the window and realized what must have happened. By the time I caught up with him, he had ran INSIDE a neighbors house. He just went right inside like he lived there. I have talked to him about this, but it doesn't seem to be making the right impression.

After extracting him from the house the neighbor said "Good-Bye" kind of irritatedly and Tyler responded, "Yeah....yeah.....Thank You, I'll see you again next time....Good-bye" - and we don't know this person.

He just didn't get it.

I tried talking to him after getting him back in the house, in which he wanted to break down the door and of course was upset. He has been talking about breaking things lately when upset, but he isn't violent. He just says it verbally.

I told him that there is a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things. The wrong way is bad and the right way is good. The right way is to ask Mommy or Daddy to go outside with him. The wrong way is to break out and do it alone. I tried telling him about the dangers of getting hit by a car, getting lost, or getting hurt and us not knowing where he was to help him. He was fixated on the right and wrong way - so atleast that made an impact (him liking to understand and do things logically).

At what point do you tell them about the real dangers of getting lost and about dangerous people? How do you broach these subjects?

We do go out in the commom area and let him ride his tricycle, draw with sidewalk chalk, and go down the drive to check the mail, and he has played with one of the girls in the complex before.

I know he feels lonely and we are trying to get him into more social activities, but it is hard.

We were planning on taking the boys to the airshow this weekend, but now I don't feel comfortable with that. Such a large crowd, a lot of noise.......I just don't know.

~ P.

August 25, 2010

Some parents are able to reason with their AS kids. Other AS kids

are so impulsive that reasoning doesn't work. When my daughter

was young I drastically limited where we went. We went to fenced

in parks, we rarely went into stores or other places. We

only went to pools never lakes or seasides. Even at 12 she

is still hard to manage. Stores are always a problem even

at 12. I do rehearse with her how I want her to behave prior

to going somewhere. Wow the effort and time involved and the

results are not consistent. In the summer she is either

in a special needs camp (no trips involved) or

1:1 with me or her Dad.

Pam

>

> We had another scary incident today and I don't know what to do.

>

> Our Aspie son is 4.5yrs old. He doesn't understand boundaries and takes off

running when something catches his attention. Taking him out anywhere is always

a stressful and exhausting adventure. Sometimes he does well and things go

smoothly. Other times it's a constant struggle. Shopping in the grocery store

is very hard. I try to keep him involved in the process (using a shopping list

and having him help) but that doesn't always work.

>

> He doesn't seem to understand the dangers that are out there. He has run into