Re: Re: A different point of view. - Robin

[Guest guest]

OMG Robin,

I'm going to start with the online school at home too - after school. Maybe for 1 hr. a day. we'll see how that goes. I'm doing that because for what my son needs he's not getting it in the school and he is still stuck where he is now.

I just wanted to know how long have you been doing the online school and how is that working?

I don't know what you need it for but we just need it to help improve writing skills. knowing what's important to write and when to write it. Also help with self advocacy. my son till this day doesn't ask for help. because he doesn't know what to ask for or that he needs help. He'll just not do it and fail. he doesn't ask for clarification either. His writing is very poor but it goes back to - he didn't have speech until he was 3 and I was told that's all connected to language. whatever kept my son from talking is effecting his writing & reading but because the school isn't trained in autism, they don't know what to look for or how to work with my son. they refuse to get the training. instead to make it easier on the school and team they decided to changed his classification (because they can't change a medical diagnosis) to OHI. makes everything easier on the school - doesn't

it.... but it still doesn't change the fact that my son has autism. this was explained by the doctors. Right now, so he doesn't lose that much more and just get pushed into the next grade without developing these skills like he has each year already. which will be more obvious now because he is in a higher grade and the gap is getting further apart. So, I'm going to try the online school at home. I was told I wouldn't have to sign contracts because I just want one or two subjects and I can sign up/pay for one month at a time. if that doesn't work well I'll have to get a private tutor again.

please let me know how that's working out for you.

Rose

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Thu, February 11, 2010 2:13:19 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: A different point of view.

Man, Miriam. You are speaking our life, too.

We pulled my son after 5th to let him do an online school. He had all the "behaviors" you listed. Everything just plain,,,,,sucked.

Then,,,,,,out of that situation,,, ,he blossomed. It was wonderful.

This year, he wanted to go back to school (for 8th). In the 2 months he was there (Private, parochial), he had such anxiety, stress, OCD, we were considering having to admit him..and worried about possible harming himself.

He couldn't finish an assignment.. ..but probably because he never brought anything home. NO ONE WORKED WITH HIM.

I pulled him out and put him back in our public school district that I'd pulled him after 5th,,,and so far,,,,he's amazing. Friends..... .HONOR ROLL!!!!!! What? He was flunking out of the small, "LOVING" parochial school.

It's definitely the teachers and their outlook, if you ask me.

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: A different point of view. Date: Thursday, February 11, 2010, 12:28 PM

The hardest thing about being in a place that doesn't follow the laws is that you watch your child lose ground, deteriorate. They are already behind their peers, already at risk for depression and aggression and difficult behavior, they already have to work harder just to cope with their day, then to have a school that won't do what is needed is so detrimental. I watched my son go from being a happy, well-adjusted, slightly odd, easily frustrated, boy to being angry, depressed, frightened, scary aggressive wild thing. Then when he got back into a school that knew what to do his behavior went 180 degrees and he won awards for art work, wrote poetry, formed long lasting friendships, became attached to his teachers, call his sister his best friend, won an award for good citizenship and became a valued member of his school's community. He can be an asset if people know how to work with him or he can be a drain. It's in their best interests to do the

right things with him but at one school in Texas nobody saw it. He was "the bad kid". He didn't do any academic work.It was horrible. I was depressed, confused, anxious. My marriage was suffering. My daughter was suffering. I did my job. As every other school, every other professional, counselor, developmental pediatrician, educator who has worked with would tell you. Only one school tried to BLAME me for 's difficulties.Miriam> >> > I would like to share some thoughts that I have had over the last week or so after reading the posts. I know that there is a lot of frustration toward schools and teachers and I just wanted to provide a different point of view for concideration. This is not meant to upset anyone who is having

problems with their child.> > > > When my son started having trouble and getting diagnosed I was completely ignorant to most special needs issues. I will admit that I thought ADHD was an excuse for parents not knowing how to parent. I was a complete snob about it and thought that they were all a bunch of kids that needed a little discipline. Well then my son was diagnosed ADHD and I had to shift my perspective. I had to learn, very quickly what ADHD was really all about. As it turned out my son was not really ADHD it was a symptom of his AS (which is not uncommon for the diagnosis to get tweeked as they get older.)> > > > So I had years to learn first about ADHD and later about PDD's and AS with the help of many different specialists. The Psychologists, Psychiatrist and Neuropsycological testing all helped me to understand why my son does what he does and learn techniques for dealing with them.> >

> > I don't understand why as a group of parent that have gone to hell and back again trying to learn about our own children and their disability we are so uncompasionate toward others who don't understand. We come together as parents every day/week to ask each other for help yet we expect the teachers and schools to immediately know what to do. Even if the teachers have had some experience with Autism, Aspergers, PDD, ADHD, ODD or OCD they have never dealt with a child that is just like mine. Because they are all different. That is the nature of how AS affects them.> > > > Furthermore, if you have ever taken time to really talk to any of teachers and administrators you will find that often times they are dealing with a lot of other children and parents beside just YOUR child. Many time they are dealing with parents who refuse to see their child as having any problem at all and just expect the school to handle it.>

> > > Then they have the laws to deal with. The school can't just decide to treat your child different because they see a need. Have you ever sat down and read the Federal or State laws or the school district policy. It is just like running a business everything must be documented and all children must be held to the same rules unless they have been placed into and IEP or Accomodation plan. If they don't dot the i's and cross the t's they can get sued. > > > > Of course the schools must also look at the money part. But, if your child is in special ed they get extra money for that. If you have not done your part to get them in special ed than it is going to cost the district money to provide services and they are not likely to agree. They don't do this because they want to keep the money for themselves. There is a limited pool of money that they have to work with and the aren't going to get more by going out to the

"stash" in the back.> > > > I believe that there are some very BAD teachers and school districts out there. But there are also some very good ones (I happen to be in one of them). Most are somewhere in between. I believe that most teachers have a good heart and want to help children but they are also just people who make mistakes. Not all of my childrens teachers have been great some have not even been very good. I just try to really help them to learn from my son so they will be better with the next child that comes along with a disability. > > > > I know that this sounds preachy and some of you will be angry after reading it but I really felt compelled to write. If even one person can stop and put yourself in someone elses shoes for a minute maybe we can make progress toward having better schools for every child.> > > > I believe in doing my part of my sons education which is making sure that

my son is diagnosed and treated properly. I do this by working with the doctors. I work hard to educate the school district as to my sons disablity and how it affects his education. And I hold the school accountable to follow the law. The law is really on our side if we do our part.> > > > I hope I have not upset anyone to much.> > > > Vickie> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi rose! Jordana wasn't asking for help either (partly due to trust issues),

the school social worker practiced how to and did some role play. . .now she is.

:-) her writing still looks like a dr's . . .when she slows down it's

beautiful. . .w-h-e-n she does it. Hehehe. . . .doreen

[Guest guest]

Hi Rose,

My son did the online school for 6th and 7th grade. It was considered a public school, so we got all the materials (books, teacher manuals, art supplies, computer, etc) free.

I never heard of going month-by-month. Hmmm........ Also, we had to sign up for it in Feb during the "school choice" time.

Anyway,,,,it was wonderful for him...and our family. He needed out. Not for academics but for social and emotional well-being......

Let me know what your "online school" is about.....name?

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: A different point of view. Date: Thursday, February 11, 2010, 12:28 PM

The hardest thing about being in a place that doesn't follow the laws is that you watch your child lose ground, deteriorate. They are already behind their peers, already at risk for depression and aggression and difficult behavior, they already have to work harder just to cope with their day, then to have a school that won't do what is needed is so detrimental. I watched my son go from being a happy, well-adjusted, slightly odd, easily frustrated, boy to being angry, depressed, frightened, scary aggressive wild thing. Then when he got back into a school that knew what to do his behavior went 180 degrees and he won awards for art work, wrote poetry, formed long lasting friendships, became attached to his teachers, call his sister his best friend, won an award for good citizenship and became a valued member of his school's community. He can be an asset if people know how to work with him or he can be a drain. It's in their best interests to do the

right things with him but at one school in Texas nobody saw it. He was "the bad kid". He didn't do any academic work.It was horrible. I was depressed, confused, anxious. My marriage was suffering. My daughter was suffering. I did my job. As every other school, every other professional, counselor, developmental pediatrician, educator who has worked with would tell you. Only one school tried to BLAME me for 's difficulties.Miriam> >> > I would like to share some thoughts that I have had over the last week or so after reading the posts. I know that there is a lot of frustration toward schools and teachers and I just wanted to provide a different point of view for concideration. This is not meant to upset anyone who is having

problems with their child.> > > > When my son started having trouble and getting diagnosed I was completely ignorant to most special needs issues. I will admit that I thought ADHD was an excuse for parents not knowing how to parent. I was a complete snob about it and thought that they were all a bunch of kids that needed a little discipline. Well then my son was diagnosed ADHD and I had to shift my perspective. I had to learn, very quickly what ADHD was really all about. As it turned out my son was not really ADHD it was a symptom of his AS (which is not uncommon for the diagnosis to get tweeked as they get older.)> > > > So I had years to learn first about ADHD and later about PDD's and AS with the help of many different specialists. The Psychologists, Psychiatrist and Neuropsycological testing all helped me to understand why my son does what he does and learn techniques for dealing with them.> >

> > I don't understand why as a group of parent that have gone to hell and back again trying to learn about our own children and their disability we are so uncompasionate toward others who don't understand. We come together as parents every day/week to ask each other for help yet we expect the teachers and schools to immediately know what to do. Even if the teachers have had some experience with Autism, Aspergers, PDD, ADHD, ODD or OCD they have never dealt with a child that is just like mine. Because they are all different. That is the nature of how AS affects them.> > > > Furthermore, if you have ever taken time to really talk to any of teachers and administrators you will find that often times they are dealing with a lot of other children and parents beside just YOUR child. Many time they are dealing with parents who refuse to see their child as having any problem at all and just expect the school to handle it.>

> > > Then they have the laws to deal with. The school can't just decide to treat your child different because they see a need. Have you ever sat down and read the Federal or State laws or the school district policy. It is just like running a business everything must be documented and all children must be held to the same rules unless they have been placed into and IEP or Accomodation plan. If they don't dot the i's and cross the t's they can get sued. > > > > Of course the schools must also look at the money part. But, if your child is in special ed they get extra money for that. If you have not done your part to get them in special ed than it is going to cost the district money to provide services and they are not likely to agree. They don't do this because they want to keep the money for themselves. There is a limited pool of money that they have to work with and the aren't going to get more by going out to the

"stash" in the back.> > > > I believe that there are some very BAD teachers and school districts out there. But there are also some very good ones (I happen to be in one of them). Most are somewhere in between. I believe that most teachers have a good heart and want to help children but they are also just people who make mistakes. Not all of my childrens teachers have been great some have not even been very good. I just try to really help them to learn from my son so they will be better with the next child that comes along with a disability. > > > > I know that this sounds preachy and some of you will be angry after reading it but I really felt compelled to write. If even one person can stop and put yourself in someone elses shoes for a minute maybe we can make progress toward having better schools for every child.> > > > I believe in doing my part of my sons education which is making sure that

my son is diagnosed and treated properly. I do this by working with the doctors. I work hard to educate the school district as to my sons disablity and how it affects his education. And I hold the school accountable to follow the law. The law is really on our side if we do our part.> > > > I hope I have not upset anyone to much.> > > > Vickie> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi Doreen,

I am so glad to hear it's working now for Jordana, what grade is she in? My son is in 7th. he's struggling with this for years. the things that he struggles in is a slow progress with him. mostly because the teachers don't know how to teach him in those struggling areas.

thanks for posting this. I can't wait to hear & see my son doing better with his struggles too.

Rose

From: doreen walton <doreenandjason@...>Aspergers Treatment Sent: Fri, February 12, 2010 8:46:11 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: A different point of view. - Robin

Hi rose! Jordana wasn't asking for help either (partly due to trust issues), the school social worker practiced how to and did some role play. . .now she is. :-) her writing still looks like a dr's . . .when she slows down it's beautiful. . .w-h-e-n she does it. Hehehe. . . .doreen

[Guest guest]

Hi Robin,

I'm so glad to hear that worked out for you. The reason why it's month by month for me is because I called them and explained to them what I wanted.

I'm using this more like a tutor - while keeping my son in school. This is an online school but they said they can help me with what I needed for my son and still keep him in school.

it's just for that one subject with writing skills including spelling and editing. They said they can teach him to know what's important to write and when.

anyway - I'll have to see how that goes.

Rose

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Fri, February 12, 2010 10:36:07 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: A different point of view. - Robin

Hi Rose,

My son did the online school for 6th and 7th grade. It was considered a public school, so we got all the materials (books, teacher manuals, art supplies, computer, etc) free.

I never heard of going month-by-month. Hmmm........ Also, we had to sign up for it in Feb during the "school choice" time.

Anyway,,,,it was wonderful for him...and our family. He needed out. Not for academics but for social and emotional well-being.. ....

Let me know what your "online school" is about.....name?

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: A different point of view. Date: Thursday, February 11, 2010, 12:28 PM

The hardest thing about being in a place that doesn't follow the laws is that you watch your child lose ground, deteriorate. They are already behind their peers, already at risk for depression and aggression and difficult behavior, they already have to work harder just to cope with their day, then to have a school that won't do what is needed is so detrimental. I watched my son go from being a happy, well-adjusted, slightly odd, easily frustrated, boy to being angry, depressed, frightened, scary aggressive wild thing. Then when he got back into a school that knew what to do his behavior went 180 degrees and he won awards for art work, wrote poetry, formed long lasting friendships, became attached to his teachers, call his sister his best friend, won an award for good citizenship and became a valued member of his school's community. He can be an asset if people know how to work with him or he can be a drain. It's in their best interests to do the

right things with him but at one school in Texas nobody saw it. He was "the bad kid". He didn't do any academic work.It was horrible. I was depressed, confused, anxious. My marriage was suffering. My daughter was suffering. I did my job. As every other school, every other professional, counselor, developmental pediatrician, educator who has worked with would tell you. Only one school tried to BLAME me for 's difficulties.Miriam> >> > I would like to share some thoughts that I have had over the last week or so after reading the posts. I know that there is a lot of frustration toward schools and teachers and I just wanted to provide a different point of view for concideration. This is not meant to upset anyone who is having

problems with their child.> > > > When my son started having trouble and getting diagnosed I was completely ignorant to most special needs issues. I will admit that I thought ADHD was an excuse for parents not knowing how to parent. I was a complete snob about it and thought that they were all a bunch of kids that needed a little discipline. Well then my son was diagnosed ADHD and I had to shift my perspective. I had to learn, very quickly what ADHD was really all about. As it turned out my son was not really ADHD it was a symptom of his AS (which is not uncommon for the diagnosis to get tweeked as they get older.)> > > > So I had years to learn first about ADHD and later about PDD's and AS with the help of many different specialists. The Psychologists, Psychiatrist and Neuropsycological testing all helped me to understand why my son does what he does and learn techniques for dealing with them.> >

> > I don't understand why as a group of parent that have gone to hell and back again trying to learn about our own children and their disability we are so uncompasionate toward others who don't understand. We come together as parents every day/week to ask each other for help yet we expect the teachers and schools to immediately know what to do. Even if the teachers have had some experience with Autism, Aspergers, PDD, ADHD, ODD or OCD they have never dealt with a child that is just like mine. Because they are all different. That is the nature of how AS affects them.> > > > Furthermore, if you have ever taken time to really talk to any of teachers and administrators you will find that often times they are dealing with a lot of other children and parents beside just YOUR child. Many time they are dealing with parents who refuse to see their child as having any problem at all and just expect the school to handle it.>

> > > Then they have the laws to deal with. The school can't just decide to treat your child different because they see a need. Have you ever sat down and read the Federal or State laws or the school district policy. It is just like running a business everything must be documented and all children must be held to the same rules unless they have been placed into and IEP or Accomodation plan. If they don't dot the i's and cross the t's they can get sued. > > > > Of course the schools must also look at the money part. But, if your child is in special ed they get extra money for that. If you have not done your part to get them in special ed than it is going to cost the district money to provide services and they are not likely to agree. They don't do this because they want to keep the money for themselves. There is a limited pool of money that they have to work with and the aren't going to get more by going out to the

"stash" in the back.> > > > I believe that there are some very BAD teachers and school districts out there. But there are also some very good ones (I happen to be in one of them). Most are somewhere in between. I believe that most teachers have a good heart and want to help children but they are also just people who make mistakes. Not all of my childrens teachers have been great some have not even been very good. I just try to really help them to learn from my son so they will be better with the next child that comes along with a disability. > > > > I know that this sounds preachy and some of you will be angry after reading it but I really felt compelled to write. If even one person can stop and put yourself in someone elses shoes for a minute maybe we can make progress toward having better schools for every child.> > > > I believe in doing my part of my sons education which is making sure that

my son is diagnosed and treated properly. I do this by working with the doctors. I work hard to educate the school district as to my sons disablity and how it affects his education. And I hold the school accountable to follow the law. The law is really on our side if we do our part.> > > > I hope I have not upset anyone to much.> > > > Vickie> >>

[Guest guest]

Wow, Rose,

I had no idea you could do that with those schools. I thought they were all or nothing.

We did K12 and were very satisfied.It's great to have choices, isn't it???? Thank God for them.

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: A different point of view. Date: Thursday, February 11, 2010, 12:28 PM

The hardest thing about being in a place that doesn't follow the laws is that you watch your child lose ground, deteriorate. They are already behind their peers, already at risk for depression and aggression and difficult behavior, they already have to work harder just to cope with their day, then to have a school that won't do what is needed is so detrimental. I watched my son go from being a happy, well-adjusted, slightly odd, easily frustrated, boy to being angry, depressed, frightened, scary aggressive wild thing. Then when he got back into a school that knew what to do his behavior went 180 degrees and he won awards for art work, wrote poetry, formed long lasting friendships, became attached to his teachers, call his sister his best friend, won an award for good citizenship and became a valued member of his school's community. He can be an asset if people know how to work with him or he can be a drain. It's in their best interests to do the

right things with him but at one school in Texas nobody saw it. He was "the bad kid". He didn't do any academic work.It was horrible. I was depressed, confused, anxious. My marriage was suffering. My daughter was suffering. I did my job. As every other school, every other professional, counselor, developmental pediatrician, educator who has worked with would tell you. Only one school tried to BLAME me for 's difficulties.Miriam> >> > I would like to share some thoughts that I have had over the last week or so after reading the posts. I know that there is a lot of frustration toward schools and teachers and I just wanted to provide a different point of view for concideration. This is not meant to upset anyone who is having

problems with their child.> > > > When my son started having trouble and getting diagnosed I was completely ignorant to most special needs issues. I will admit that I thought ADHD was an excuse for parents not knowing how to parent. I was a complete snob about it and thought that they were all a bunch of kids that needed a little discipline. Well then my son was diagnosed ADHD and I had to shift my perspective. I had to learn, very quickly what ADHD was really all about. As it turned out my son was not really ADHD it was a symptom of his AS (which is not uncommon for the diagnosis to get tweeked as they get older.)> > > > So I had years to learn first about ADHD and later about PDD's and AS with the help of many different specialists. The Psychologists, Psychiatrist and Neuropsycological testing all helped me to understand why my son does what he does and learn techniques for dealing with them.> >

> > I don't understand why as a group of parent that have gone to hell and back again trying to learn about our own children and their disability we are so uncompasionate toward others who don't understand. We come together as parents every day/week to ask each other for help yet we expect the teachers and schools to immediately know what to do. Even if the teachers have had some experience with Autism, Aspergers, PDD, ADHD, ODD or OCD they have never dealt with a child that is just like mine. Because they are all different. That is the nature of how AS affects them.> > > > Furthermore, if you have ever taken time to really talk to any of teachers and administrators you will find that often times they are dealing with a lot of other children and parents beside just YOUR child. Many time they are dealing with parents who refuse to see their child as having any problem at all and just expect the school to handle it.>

> > > Then they have the laws to deal with. The school can't just decide to treat your child different because they see a need. Have you ever sat down and read the Federal or State laws or the school district policy. It is just like running a business everything must be documented and all children must be held to the same rules unless they have been placed into and IEP or Accomodation plan. If they don't dot the i's and cross the t's they can get sued. > > > > Of course the schools must also look at the money part. But, if your child is in special ed they get extra money for that. If you have not done your part to get them in special ed than it is going to cost the district money to provide services and they are not likely to agree. They don't do this because they want to keep the money for themselves. There is a limited pool of money that they have to work with and the aren't going to get more by going out to the

"stash" in the back.> > > > I believe that there are some very BAD teachers and school districts out there. But there are also some very good ones (I happen to be in one of them). Most are somewhere in between. I believe that most teachers have a good heart and want to help children but they are also just people who make mistakes. Not all of my childrens teachers have been great some have not even been very good. I just try to really help them to learn from my son so they will be better with the next child that comes along with a disability. > > > > I know that this sounds preachy and some of you will be angry after reading it but I really felt compelled to write. If even one person can stop and put yourself in someone elses shoes for a minute maybe we can make progress toward having better schools for every child.> > > > I believe in doing my part of my sons education which is making sure that

my son is diagnosed and treated properly. I do this by working with the doctors. I work hard to educate the school district as to my sons disablity and how it affects his education. And I hold the school accountable to follow the law. The law is really on our side if we do our part.> > > > I hope I have not upset anyone to much.> > > > Vickie> >>