Re: What Happens After High School?

[Guest guest]

A big congratulations for you and your son, that is wonderful.

I would love to have a list of the schools and information about financial aid,

too.

Your son sounds a lot like ours, 26, low IQ, very much difficulty in math. He

went to Job Corps for culinary training and passed the class and loved it. Lived

on his own for 16 months in the dorm. But since he has gotten out, things have

been really bad. Job Corps has provided NO job support, direction, help, etc.

They hand him a list of internet job sites and say, " let us know when you get a

job. " The same exact thing with Voc Rehab. So for the past six months, he's only

been working 16 hours a week, for which we are grateful, but sure can't make a

living on that. And, once tourist season is over that will drop. I'll bet he has

applied for at least fifty different positions that he is well qualified for in

culinary type jobs, from fast food to hotels to you name it. Has a great looking

resume, great cover letter, great references...and he has not gotten ONE SINGLE

interview.

So great about your son...this is exactly the type program that is needed.

Sue in Tn

>

> I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents

who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a

learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went

through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When

Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after

school. My husband started researching universities that have " special

programs " . Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and

was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick

visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with

the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him

two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on

his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and

to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to

say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane

(something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He

would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I

would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't

neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot

walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a

dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he

finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's

in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the

Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year

roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying

groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly checks in

order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester

which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year

my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to

live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life

after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found

please let me know.

>

[Guest guest]

Oh I love this, thanks for sharing.

That program sounds perfect. I really think every university should have

programs like that!

When you mentioned " dorm " type setting that first year I was wondering how that

worked out, at least the dorms here I've seen at colleges are small (don't think

I could manage a roommate in one...). Apparently went well for your son, still

same roommate!

My Aspie is in an apartment setting, 2 bedroom, at college. His OCD bothers him

daily, so that has been a blessing to have his own room. He's in regular

college program/classes. I find it sort of amusing that he & his roommates (the

2 he's had, switched for summer class), they all seem to live in their own

bedrooms, no one uses the living room area.

>

> I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents

who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a

learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went

through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When

Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after

school. My husband

[Guest guest]

Congratuations to all of you...you, your husband and of course your Son! Tell him how proud I am of him. Wow! It is possible...I loved reading your post...thanks! I am sure it will help a lot of people to read it....!

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: sbarbati <sbarbati@...> Sent: Sat, July 17, 2010 8:46:06 AMSubject: ( ) What Happens After High School?

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over

1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

Congratulations to all of you! We would love to have the names of the other two

schools, of course..

>

> I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents

who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a

learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went

through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When

Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after

school. My husband started researching universities that have " special

programs " . Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and

was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick

visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with

the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him

two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on

his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and

to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to

say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane

(something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He

would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I

would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't

neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot

walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a

dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he

finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's

in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the

Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year

roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying

groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly checks in

order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester

which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year

my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to

live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life

after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found

please let me know.

>

[Guest guest]

We live in Tallahassee,Florida. Our son is 23 and was diagnosed with Aspergers

just three months ago. He is currently living independently while trying to

get/keep a job. He attend the local community college and achieved 30 hours and

then stopped going. He really didn't " drop out " and still wants to become an

engineer. What we have since figured out is that he needs A LOT of support. He

is entering a Vocational Rehab program which I hope will translate into the

skills to get back into school. He has relatively high IQ which helps.

He was diagnosed with ADHD at age six so I always have been his advocate for a

long time but nothing like what I had to do in the last three months.

Tallahassee is a relatively small capital city with about 300,000 in the

metropolitan area and the nearest major city 250 miles away. The point is that

even with me advocating trying to find services for an adult Aspie's is really

hard. Florida State University has a Speech and Hearing clinic and also a

Center for Autism Related Disabilities both in which he is/will be involved. He

is also involved with a Ability 1st. Part of the problem is that for Florida,

the recession is still with us and the oil spill is not helping revenues. So

resources are really limited for most agencies.

So, what am I doing? Getting myself educated, taking him everywhere I can find

for assistance/education and paying a lot of money for counseling, etc. It is

tiring and when he gets back in school, I know I will have to be right there

with him making sure he does the right thing (ie studying and going to class)

and advocating for him. I doubt he will ever be able to successfully track his

finances. I know this is a life long job for me and it saddens me to know that

some day I won't be here for him.

I will be able to retire in 6 - 7 years and have been looking for volunteer

activities to keep me vital in my old age (along with a myriad of hobbies and

wanting to travel!!). I am not naturally an outgoing person but I think I may

have found my calling.

[Guest guest]

Wow, it was so great to read your post about your son! I think in some ways we

are in such a similar situation, except our son tests with a low IQ, it doesn't

necessarily reflect his abilities, or seem to help in getting services.

I feel like my whole life, at least several hours a day revolves around trying

to get him independent, searching for services, etc. I thought it was bad when

he was in school helping with homework, etc. It was a breeze compared to this. I

did not plan to spend the rest of my life working on " son " project!

Is he with the state Voc Rehab program? Our son was a client, but was recently

" case closed " because he got a 16 hour part time job...on his own with a lot of

help from me. So they will NOT help him anymore. Even though he sure as heck

cannot live on that amount of hours whatsoever!

He/we have filled out at least 50 job applications, (custom cover letter,

resume, online application, dressed up, show up in person, no phone calls

please) AND NOT A SINGLE INTERVIEW since he started this parttime job in Feb.

Ah, the frustration...the feeling of no one, not one single person is helping

advocate for him, it is all up to ME. At least in school there were a few

teachers that helped and services, though hard to get were mandated. We are on

our own now and couldn't be more alone!

Same situation too with atate's budget. The state used to provide, to those on

the Waiver, semi-independent living services, which would have been perfect. If

you needed help with making sure bills paid on time and get groceries, life in

order, etc. But as of June 30, all of that funding was cut out, in addition to a

53% budget cut to the Dept. of Developmental Disabilities. All of the other

departments were cut 8-9%! It seems all I do anymore is rant, but things with us

are at an all time low and I don't see any light at the end right now.

Sue in Tennessee (I would love to swap stories in depth. If you want to contact

me off list it is sue@....)

>

>

> We live in Tallahassee,Florida. Our son is 23 and was diagnosed with Aspergers

just three months ago. He is currently living independently while trying to

get/keep a job. He attend the local community college and achieved 30 hours and

then stopped going. He really didn't " drop out " and still wants to become an

engineer. What we have since figured out is that he needs A LOT of support. He

is entering a Vocational Rehab program which I hope will translate into the

skills to get back into school. He has relatively high IQ which helps.

>

> He was diagnosed with ADHD at age six so I always have been his advocate for a

long time but nothing like what I had to do in the last three months.

Tallahassee is a relatively small capital city with about 300,000 in the

metropolitan area and the nearest major city 250 miles away. The point is that

even with me advocating trying to find services for an adult Aspie's is really

hard. Florida State University has a Speech and Hearing clinic and also a

Center for Autism Related Disabilities both in which he is/will be involved. He

is also involved with a Ability 1st. Part of the problem is that for Florida,

the recession is still with us and the oil spill is not helping revenues. So

resources are really limited for most agencies.

>

> So, what am I doing? Getting myself educated, taking him everywhere I can

find for assistance/education and paying a lot of money for counseling, etc. It

is tiring and when he gets back in school, I know I will have to be right there

with him making sure he does the right thing (ie studying and going to class)

and advocating for him. I doubt he will ever be able to successfully track his

finances. I know this is a life long job for me and it saddens me to know that

some day I won't be here for him.

>

> I will be able to retire in 6 - 7 years and have been looking for volunteer

activities to keep me vital in my old age (along with a myriad of hobbies and

wanting to travel!!). I am not naturally an outgoing person but I think I may

have found my calling.

>

[Guest guest]

It seems that jobs are hard for everyone to get right now. Maybe it will get

better. I also worry about this for my daughter because I am already 63. I won't

be around to help her in much of her adult years.. She is 15.I am out of energy

now.. Do Aspie girls ever get out of that teen anger stage? I have had it

already.

> >

> >

> > We live in Tallahassee,Florida. Our son is 23 and was diagnosed with

Aspergers just three months ago. He is currently living independently while

trying to get/keep a job. He attend the local community college and achieved 30

hours and then stopped going. He really didn't " drop out " and still wants to

become an engineer. What we have since figured out is that he needs A LOT of

support. He is entering a Vocational Rehab program which I hope will translate

into the skills to get back into school. He has relatively high IQ which helps.

> >

> > He was diagnosed with ADHD at age six so I always have been his advocate for

a long time but nothing like what I had to do in the last three months.

Tallahassee is a relatively small capital city with about 300,000 in the

metropolitan area and the nearest major city 250 miles away. The point is that

even with me advocating trying to find services for an adult Aspie's is really

hard. Florida State University has a Speech and Hearing clinic and also a

Center for Autism Related Disabilities both in which he is/will be involved. He

is also involved with a Ability 1st. Part of the problem is that for Florida,

the recession is still with us and the oil spill is not helping revenues. So

resources are really limited for most agencies.

> >

> > So, what am I doing? Getting myself educated, taking him everywhere I can

find for assistance/education and paying a lot of money for counseling, etc. It

is tiring and when he gets back in school, I know I will have to be right there

with him making sure he does the right thing (ie studying and going to class)

and advocating for him. I doubt he will ever be able to successfully track his

finances. I know this is a life long job for me and it saddens me to know that

some day I won't be here for him.

> >

> > I will be able to retire in 6 - 7 years and have been looking for volunteer

activities to keep me vital in my old age (along with a myriad of hobbies and

wanting to travel!!). I am not naturally an outgoing person but I think I may

have found my calling.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

WOW! That is great! We send many blessing to you and your son for the future.. I must say though, my son is 7 years old. There has never been a doubt in my mind that my child will do great things and I have never let him believe for one second that his disability will hinder him from doing what he desires, but more imporatantly what God calls him to do. People ask me if I think he will ever go to college, my answer is "he has no other choice".. I have learned that my child's biggest disability is me thinking he may not be able to do certain things.. Not anymore! I encourage him to try whatever he would like, but he must see it through to the end, because we are not quiters!

Your son is amzing! Great job for making the Deans list! The greatest thing of all is that you guys didn't settle for what is, but choose to help create is could and now will be, a productive citizen! That is fabulous and you guys are awesome for doing all that you have done to help him get where he is today! Blessing to you and your family!

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Sat, July 17, 2010 7:24:35 PMSubject: Re: ( ) What Happens After High School?

Congratuations to all of you...you, your husband and of course your Son! Tell him how proud I am of him. Wow! It is possible...I loved reading your post...thanks! I am sure it will help a lot of people to read it....!

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: sbarbati <sbarbati (DOT) com> Sent: Sat, July 17, 2010 8:46:06 AMSubject: ( ) What Happens After High School?

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over

1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

Hi, I am new to this list and have a bit of a different scenario of college:

Our oldest son is in college now... he has had the diagnosis of Asperger's since 3rd grade. He has had a one-to-one aid with him since the middle of second grade for focus and safety. He was without an aid a couple of times, but just wasn't able to self manage well enough to get an education. He is very lucky to have a high IQ and live in an area that offered services to meet his needs. He worked very hard (complaining all the way) in OT, speech throughout HS in pragmatics. He has had play therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc. He still takes medications to help him succeed.

He has made it through the first year with many successes. He falls through yet another crack, and there are not many services to help at the college level for him. He does not qualify for service through the regional center... so I am still working with teachers/professors behind the scenes (with my son's written permission) to get him through. I even took one class with him and it was starteling to see how his disabilities are so present in class.

He would like a part-time job, but was not a very willing participant in the Workability Program the Department of Rehabilitation assigned him to.... and they deemed him unemployable in 3 short days.... so we are trying to find an appropriate service that will help him become more employable.

Just to complicate his existence, in his opinion, his younger brothers who turn 18 in a couple of weeks have autism and are non-verbal.... that's a whole different story.

Pam B.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for posting this...............

You and your son should feel very proud.

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.....protect everything.

Robin

From: sbarbati <sbarbati@...>Subject: ( ) What Happens After High School? Date: Saturday, July 17, 2010, 7:46 AM

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over

1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

Is she getting exercise? Running track helped me greatly manage my frustrations.

On 7/18/10 10:18 PM, " sandee " <jculliton@...> wrote:

It seems that jobs are hard for everyone to get right now. Maybe it will get better. I also worry about this for my daughter because I am already 63. I won't be around to help her in much of her adult years.. She is 15.I am out of energy now.. Do Aspie girls ever get out of that teen anger stage? I have had it already.

> >

> >

> > We live in Tallahassee,Florida. Our son is 23 and was diagnosed with Aspergers just three months ago. He is currently living independently while trying to get/keep a job. He attend the local community college and achieved 30 hours and then stopped going. He really didn't " drop out " and still wants to become an engineer. What we have since figured out is that he needs A LOT of support. He is entering a Vocational Rehab program which I hope will translate into the skills to get back into school. He has relatively high IQ which helps.

> >

> > He was diagnosed with ADHD at age six so I always have been his advocate for a long time but nothing like what I had to do in the last three months. Tallahassee is a relatively small capital city with about 300,000 in the metropolitan area and the nearest major city 250 miles away. The point is that even with me advocating trying to find services for an adult Aspie's is really hard. Florida State University has a Speech and Hearing clinic and also a Center for Autism Related Disabilities both in which he is/will be involved. He is also involved with a Ability 1st. Part of the problem is that for Florida, the recession is still with us and the oil spill is not helping revenues. So resources are really limited for most agencies.

> >

> > So, what am I doing? Getting myself educated, taking him everywhere I can find for assistance/education and paying a lot of money for counseling, etc. It is tiring and when he gets back in school, I know I will have to be right there with him making sure he does the right thing (ie studying and going to class) and advocating for him. I doubt he will ever be able to successfully track his finances. I know this is a life long job for me and it saddens me to know that some day I won't be here for him.

> >

> > I will be able to retire in 6 - 7 years and have been looking for volunteer activities to keep me vital in my old age (along with a myriad of hobbies and wanting to travel!!). I am not naturally an outgoing person but I think I may have found my calling.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Pam, thanks for sharing. I love hearing from parents with older kids and

somewhat similar circumstances to ours. Will he have some sort of a degree that

will offer training so he can move into a job situation? What other job

placement services have you found?

I am waiting (and waiting and waiting) on a local job placement service firm

that works with Voc Rehab right now to call me back. I am trying to see if they

will let us pay for job placement services. Voc Rehab refused to provide a

recommendation for son.

You are a good mom to do all that with/for your kids. Even taking a class with

him! I think a lot of people don't realize the giant hole that your child can be

dropped into at 22 (in our state). It is enormously draining.

Sue in TN

>

>

>

> Hi, I am new to this list and have a bit of a different scenario of college:

>

> Our oldest son is in college now... he has had the diagnosis of Asperger's

since 3rd grade.  He has had a one-to-one aid with him since the middle of

second grade for focus and safety.  He was without an aid a couple of times,

but just wasn't able to self manage well enough to get an education.  He is

very lucky to have a high IQ and live in an area that offered services to meet

his needs.  He worked very hard (complaining all the way) in OT, speech

throughout HS in pragmatics.  He has had play therapy, cognitive behavioral

therapy, etc.  He still takes medications to help him succeed. 

>

> He has made it through the first year with many successes.  He falls through

yet another crack, and there are not many services to help at the college level

for him.   He does not qualify for service through the regional center... so I

am still working with teachers/professors behind the scenes (with my son's

written permission) to get him through.  I even took one class with him and it

was starteling to see how his disabilities are so present in class. 

>

> He would like a part-time job, but was not a very willing participant in the

Workability Program the Department of Rehabilitation assigned him to.... and

they deemed him unemployable in 3 short days.... so we are trying to find

an appropriate service that will help him become more employable.

>

> Just to complicate his existence, in his opinion, his younger brothers who

turn 18 in a couple of weeks have autism and are non-verbal.... that's a whole

different story.

>

> Pam B.

>

>

>  

>

> ( ) What Happens After High School?

>

>  

>

>

> I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents

who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a

learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went

through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When

Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after

school. My husband started researching universities that have " special

programs " . Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was

very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick

visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with

the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him

two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on

his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to

decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say

the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something

else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have

to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I

said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing

that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through

every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took

the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to

find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast

forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a

practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an

apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their

apartment clean. They must pass weekly checks in order to keep their privileges.

He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in

himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find

a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing

this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would

like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

>

[Guest guest]

Geez, you have your handsfull.So great about college, is that the sane as university? What us he studying? It's great he has a high IQ. My son is low on the scale but not low enough to recieve funding. It's so great to hear that he did get there.Kel in ozI will keep climbing the mountain.Sent from Kel's iPhone On 19/07/2010, at 3:00 PM, PLBarrett@... wrote:

Hi, I am new to this list and have a bit of a different scenario of college:

Our oldest son is in college now... he has had the diagnosis of Asperger's since 3rd grade. He has had a one-to-one aid with him since the middle of second grade for focus and safety. He was without an aid a couple of times, but just wasn't able to self manage well enough to get an education. He is very lucky to have a high IQ and live in an area that offered services to meet his needs. He worked very hard (complaining all the way) in OT, speech throughout HS in pragmatics. He has had play therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc. He still takes medications to help him succeed.

He has made it through the first year with many successes. He falls through yet another crack, and there are not many services to help at the college level for him. He does not qualify for service through the regional center... so I am still working with teachers/professors behind the scenes (with my son's written permission) to get him through. I even took one class with him and it was starteling to see how his disabilities are so present in class.

He would like a part-time job, but was not a very willing participant in the Workability Program the Department of Rehabilitation assigned him to.... and they deemed him unemployable in 3 short days.... so we are trying to find an appropriate service that will help him become more employable.

Just to complicate his existence, in his opinion, his younger brothers who turn 18 in a couple of weeks have autism and are non-verbal.... that's a whole different story.

Pam B.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over

1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

De Anza college is a community college, but is respected as a university for some of the programs there. He wants to be a graphic artist within the animation sector... and this school is very well respected in the industry for the programs.

As many of the parents on this list... Tommy made it because I pushed, pulled, begged and shoved his way to barely-making-it. Not fair for him nor our family... but it is the choice we got to make and made it... hopefully it will make a difference for those who follow him.

He was exposed to and learned much along the way... now that he is "sinking or swimming" some of those seeds are sprouting... and he is maturing and become more independent. For the first time, last week, he said he was proud of something he did.... very hard to build intrinsic rewards in these guys. I was very happy for him.

..... so I guess my message here is delayed gratification is part of all parenting ... but with special needs, it seems to be sweeter with a twist of relief.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

Sounds like you did beautifully.

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.....protect everything.

Robin

Hi, I am new to this list and have a bit of a different scenario of college:

Our oldest son is in college now... he has had the diagnosis of Asperger's since 3rd grade. He has had a one-to-one aid with him since the middle of second grade for focus and safety. He was without an aid a couple of times, but just wasn't able to self manage well enough to get an education. He is very lucky to have a high IQ and live in an area that offered services to meet his needs. He worked very hard (complaining all the way) in OT, speech throughout HS in pragmatics. He has had play therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc. He still takes medications to help him succeed.

He has made it through the first year with many successes. He falls through yet another crack, and there are not many services to help at the college level for him. He does not qualify for service through the regional center... so I am still working with teachers/professors behind the scenes (with my son's written permission) to get him through. I even took one class with him and it was starteling to see how his disabilities are so present in class.

He would like a part-time job, but was not a very willing participant in the Workability Program the Department of Rehabilitation assigned him to.... and they deemed him unemployable in 3 short days.... so we are trying to find an appropriate service that will help him become more employable.

Just to complicate his existence, in his opinion, his younger brothers who turn 18 in a couple of weeks have autism and are non-verbal.. .. that's a whole different story.

Pam B.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over

1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

We tried several things with our Aspie son. First, getting him a full-time job

as soon as he was legally old enough. That burned him out after about 16 months

and we had to ask his boss to let him go. Then we sent him away to an internship

program, but he was sent home after a month due to his Aspie issues. Since then

we haven't tried to have him apply for jobs. It's too stressful filling out the

applications and he never gets interviewed. He works strictly on personal

recommendations--for, or at least with, people he already knows. He still lives

at home at age 22 but he's gaining the experience he will need when he

eventually strikes out on his own. He recently opened a bank account with a

debit card on his own initiative and is doing well at keeping his balance up to

avoid fees.

Had we known better, we would have gone slower and realized that he just needs

to be older than average before he is ready for the next step in life. Meanwhile

we encourage him to develop his interests in a way that will lead to him being

self-supporting, structuring our whole family's lifestyle to support his. We

moved to a small farm so he can raise beef and poultry to sell directly to the

public, and where there are many like-minded neighbors to help him learn to

farm.

[Guest guest]

Thankyou for posting thisI have been wanting to get my son out of school and into the workforce but this is a wake up call for me to remember that he is at least 2 years immature, so to keep him there.Thanks Kel I will keep climbing the mountain.Sent from Kel's iPhone On 23/07/2010, at 5:13 AM, "bucksburg" <bucksburg@...> wrote:

We tried several things with our Aspie son. First, getting him a full-time job as soon as he was legally old enough. That burned him out after about 16 months and we had to ask his boss to let him go. Then we sent him away to an internship program, but he was sent home after a month due to his Aspie issues. Since then we haven't tried to have him apply for jobs. It's too stressful filling out the applications and he never gets interviewed. He works strictly on personal recommendations--for, or at least with, people he already knows. He still lives at home at age 22 but he's gaining the experience he will need when he eventually strikes out on his own. He recently opened a bank account with a debit card on his own initiative and is doing well at keeping his balance up to avoid fees.

Had we known better, we would have gone slower and realized that he just needs to be older than average before he is ready for the next step in life. Meanwhile we encourage him to develop his interests in a way that will lead to him being self-supporting, structuring our whole family's lifestyle to support his. We moved to a small farm so he can raise beef and poultry to sell directly to the public, and where there are many like-minded neighbors to help him learn to farm.

[Guest guest]

I have had to make a lot of compromises to my own ideas as to what my child will do with his life someday. I am sure that happens to all parents for all kids. We think they can do anything, we think they are amazingly talented, gorgeous and wonderful. Then they go out and do what they want. lol. For kids with disabilities (which are called this because they are actually "disabling") this is a really difficult process. Even kids who are rather "mild" in the spectrum can end up working well under their "potential" ability for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is because the child/young adult is happier and able to deal better socially in a less demanding environment. Personal achievement is really very personal and what I mean is that what that "success" looks like is different for each of us. Parents cannot order up what the outcome will be. I wish we could.

Anyway, there are a lot of parents with older kids who cannot handle going to college or who cannot manage having a job. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. When my own ds (hfa) could no longer attend school, it was the most depressing time for me personally. He was not underachieving because I failed to have sufficient faith in him. Despite my encouragement, he could not overcome his LD, his autism and his depression. But with our support and guidance, we were able to find another way to get from one point to another. I can't say that he "will" finish college, or that he will live independently with a job. We hope and we help support him towards those end goals. We are feeling lucky right now that these are also his goals. It was not always the case. When you have an adult child, it adds another layer to the process that can be the most frustrating of all - that young adult has his/her own ideas for what to do with his/her life or what they are willing to put into that as well.

I guess I am saying as the mother of a 21 yo w/HFA, it does not always go as planned. We have compromised a lot, learned a lot and cried a lot. It has not been a simple evolving growth process. If it is for anyone on this list, then kudos to you and your child - how lucky! I have found it more likely that the path to adulthood and independent living is extremely difficult for these kids. I feel a lot of this has to do with lack of available programming. Of course, if one can afford the right program personally, then you are well ahead of the game. Private programs are mentioned here at times and I would only wish we could benefit from one of them. But again, even within that idea, you have to have a child/young adult who is cooperative towards that goal or else even having the money to afford the program won't help.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over

1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

Keep trying, of course.. It is hard for most young people to get started in these times.. My two sons were in and out of the house until the age of 30 with various jobs and school. They would struggle and then have barriers. Finally, they got started in permanent, settled jobs, got married and each have 2 kids now.. All within about 5 years, The oldest is 38. Next is 33. The youngest is 32 but he jumped out of the home after high school at 17, and fell in love with cooking. I had him envisioned as a scientist, but he fell in love with cooking, took two years of culinary school, and never has wanted anything else. Not a lot of money in it, but he seems happy and he always has a job. Recently he is starting to move up in his field. My oldest, who probably was AS, was in and out until he died in

a careless accident at the age of 26.. His downfall was alcohol and falling for bad women. He was so desperate for a companion that he had no judgment. I don't know what would have happened by now if he had lived. Life is not all under our control. I learned that. From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Sat, July 31, 2010 1:12:36 PMSubject: Re: ( ) What Happens After High School?

I have had to make a lot of compromises to my own ideas as to what my child will do with his life someday. I am sure that happens to all parents for all kids. We think they can do anything, we think they are amazingly talented, gorgeous and wonderful. Then they go out and do what they want. lol. For kids with disabilities (which are called this because they are actually "disabling") this is a really difficult process. Even kids who are rather "mild" in the spectrum can end up working well under their "potential" ability for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is because the child/young adult is happier and able to deal better socially in a less demanding environment. Personal achievement is really very personal and what I mean is

that what that "success" looks like is different for each of us. Parents cannot order up what the outcome will be. I wish we could.

Anyway, there are a lot of parents with older kids who cannot handle going to college or who cannot manage having a job. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. When my own ds (hfa) could no longer attend school, it was the most depressing time for me personally. He was not underachieving because I failed to have sufficient faith in him. Despite my encouragement, he could not overcome his LD, his autism and his depression. But with our support and guidance, we were able to find another way to get from one point to another. I can't say that he "will" finish college, or that he will live independently with a job. We hope and we help support him towards those end goals. We are feeling lucky right now that these are also his goals. It was not always the case. When you have an adult child, it adds another layer to the process that can be the most frustrating of all - that young adult has his/her own ideas

for what to do with his/her life or what they are willing to put into that as well.

I guess I am saying as the mother of a 21 yo w/HFA, it does not always go as planned. We have compromised a lot, learned a lot and cried a lot. It has not been a simple evolving growth process. If it is for anyone on this list, then kudos to you and your child - how lucky! I have found it more likely that the path to adulthood and independent living is extremely difficult for these kids. I feel a lot of this has to do with lack of available programming. Of course, if one can afford the right program personally, then you are well ahead of the game. Private programs are mentioned here at times and I would only wish we could benefit from one of them. But again, even within that idea, you have to have a child/young adult who is cooperative towards that goal or else even having the money to afford the program won't help.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over

1,400 miles away to school was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

Amen, Roxanna.  I also have an older child (20 yr old) and while

he has made amazing progress the last few years, I still don’t know if he will

ever be able to live independently.  We hope that he can and he says he also

wants that.  It has nothing to do with his intelligence, as is the same with

many of these kids, but has to do with all the struggles of having a disability. 

I also think that even if he can one day live independently, it will be at a

later age than normal.  As you are well aware, kids with Aspergers usually

function emotionally about 2/3 of their chronological age.  So, my son

emotionally is 13-14 not 20 (and interacting with him I can guarantee you he

acts and reacts as if he is 13-14 even though when talking to him about current

events, history, etc. he interacts intellectually like he is 20).  We just keep

plugging along and hoping we will get there someday.  We are very blessed and

can afford a private program but even with this I am not sure if he will ever

be totally independent. 

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Roxanna

Sent: Saturday, July 31, 2010 12:13 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) What Happens After High School?

I have had to

make a lot of compromises to my own ideas as to what my child will do with his

life someday. I am sure that happens to all parents for all kids.

We think they can do anything, we think they are amazingly talented, gorgeous

and wonderful. Then they go out and do what they want. lol.

For kids with disabilities (which are called this because they are actually

" disabling " ) this is a really difficult process. Even kids who

are rather " mild " in the spectrum can end up working well under their

" potential " ability for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is

because the child/young adult is happier and able to deal better socially in a

less demanding environment. Personal achievement is really very personal

and what I mean is that what that " success " looks like is different

for each of us. Parents cannot order up what the outcome will be. I

wish we could.

Anyway, there are a lot of parents with older kids who cannot handle going to

college or who cannot manage having a job. I wouldn't wish this on

anyone. When my own ds (hfa) could no longer attend school, it was the

most depressing time for me personally. He was not underachieving because

I failed to have sufficient faith in him. Despite my encouragement, he

could not overcome his LD, his autism and his depression. But with our

support and guidance, we were able to find another way to get from one point to

another. I can't say that he " will " finish college, or that he

will live independently with a job. We hope and we help support him

towards those end goals. We are feeling lucky right now that these are

also his goals. It was not always the case. When you have an adult

child, it adds another layer to the process that can be the most frustrating of

all - that young adult has his/her own ideas for what to do with his/her life

or what they are willing to put into that as well.

I guess I am saying as the mother of a 21 yo w/HFA, it does not always go as

planned. We have compromised a lot, learned a lot and cried a lot.

It has not been a simple evolving growth process. If it is for anyone on

this list, then kudos to you and your child - how lucky! I have found it more likely

that the path to adulthood and independent living is extremely difficult for

these kids. I feel a lot of this has to do with lack of available

programming. Of course, if one can afford the right program personally,

then you are well ahead of the game. Private programs are mentioned here

at times and I would only wish we could benefit from one of them. But

again, even within that idea, you have to have a child/young adult who is

cooperative towards that goal or else even having the money to afford the

program won't help.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start

breathing again.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I

have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who

have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a

learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went

through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When

Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after

school. My husband started researching universities that have " special

programs " . Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois

and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he

& Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was

impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program

would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would

learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week

away from us and to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a

little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put

him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in

Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to

Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that

he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who

flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived

in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was

when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart

or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year

and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first

year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for

buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every

semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home

next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and

eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is

to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the

three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

I just read a post at this topic and it's just leaves me so flabbergasted. I don't know what to say - this is just not reality. I only wish life was so simple that we could order up what we want in advance. Even with my own NT kids, I have learned to compromise (i.e. shut up) what I felt was a more appropriate future with what they have decided to do. lol. I mean, they have their own thoughts on the subject of their futures. You'd think they would defer to my unending wisdom as the mother. But no! They even make decisions without consulting me first, the little br...er...darlings. And off they go, waving good-bye and living their lives. big sigh. I would only wish it were that easy with my boys who have HFA. I'd give up wishing and hoping for my ideal version of their life if they would only take over the task and move towards their own dreams as well as most NT kids can do it.

At any rate, I disagree with the post that said that parents often do not aim high enough for their kids. I have found the opposite to be true in most cases. Most of us aim very high and we want the most choices available as we can possibly get. But many times, it isn't aiming low but finding a compromise between what we wish and what will realistically be able to happen. I'm not sure either, why some jobs would be considered so beneath consideration. Some jobs were listed in a post as if they were not worthwhile and I don't agree with that. I think once our kids get to the older ages like 17 or 18, we parents have moments where we would sell an arm just to assure they will not be living in our basement forever. lol. And not all kids, even those with AS, have high IQ's. And as you pointed out, having a high IQ is only one factor of many. It doesn't guarantee a lot. Dream, but have some sense of realistic expectations added to those dreams. Who wrote the post not long ago that just said it all so well - how sometimes the kids who are not having many problems in the younger years suddenly hit a wall in the older years where their social problems really surge forward. I can't remember the post and I had wanted to save it too. It was really good and accurate and I can't describe it all myself. Maybe I will find it here as I read posts and repost it.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I

have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who

have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a

learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went

through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When

Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after

school. My husband started researching universities that have "special

programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois

and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he

& Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was

impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program

would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would

learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week

away from us and to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a

little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put

him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in

Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to

Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that

he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who

flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived

in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was

when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart

or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year

and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first

year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for

buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every

semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home

next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and

eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is

to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the

three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

you are a very wise woman, Roxanna. I always find myself nodding (and sometimes smiling) all through your posts. From: MadIdeas@...Date: Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:34:54 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) What Happens After High School?

I just read a post at this topic and it's just leaves me so flabbergasted. I don't know what to say - this is just not reality. I only wish life was so simple that we could order up what we want in advance. Even with my own NT kids, I have learned to compromise (i.e. shut up) what I felt was a more appropriate future with what they have decided to do. lol. I mean, they have their own thoughts on the subject of their futures. You'd think they would defer to my unending wisdom as the mother. But no! They even make decisions without consulting me first, the little br...er...darlings. And off they go, waving good-bye and living their lives. big sigh. I would only wish it were that easy with my boys who have HFA. I'd give up wishing and hoping for my ideal version of their life if they would only take over the task and move towards their own dreams as well as most NT kids can do it.

At any rate, I disagree with the post that said that parents often do not aim high enough for their kids. I have found the opposite to be true in most cases. Most of us aim very high and we want the most choices available as we can possibly get. But many times, it isn't aiming low but finding a compromise between what we wish and what will realistically be able to happen. I'm not sure either, why some jobs would be considered so beneath consideration. Some jobs were listed in a post as if they were not worthwhile and I don't agree with that. I think once our kids get to the older ages like 17 or 18, we parents have moments where we would sell an arm just to assure they will not be living in our basement forever. lol. And not all kids, even those with AS, have high IQ's. And as you pointed out, having a high IQ is only one factor of many. It doesn't guarantee a lot. Dream, but have some sense of realistic expectations added to those dreams. Who wrote the post not long ago that just said it all so well - how sometimes the kids who are not having many problems in the younger years suddenly hit a wall in the older years where their social problems really surge forward. I can't remember the post and I had wanted to save it too. It was really good and accurate and I can't describe it all myself. Maybe I will find it here as I read posts and repost it.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I

have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who

have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a

learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went

through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When

Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after

school. My husband started researching universities that have "special

programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois

and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he

& Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was

impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program

would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would

learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week

away from us and to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a

little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put

him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in

Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to

Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that

he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who

flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived

in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was

when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart

or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year

and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first

year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for

buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every

semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home

next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and

eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is

to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the

three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

So do I Roxanne! your posts are very helpful and fun.From: Barbara Pinckney <b-pinckney@...>Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, August 2, 2010 4:47:35 PMSubject: RE: ( ) What Happens After High School?

you are a very wise woman, Roxanna. I always find myself nodding (and sometimes smiling) all through your posts. From: MadIdeasaol (DOT) comDate: Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:34:54 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) What Happens After High School?

I just read a post at this topic and it's just leaves me so flabbergasted. I don't know what to say - this is just not reality. I only wish life was so simple that we could order up what we want in advance. Even with my own NT kids, I have learned to compromise (i.e. shut up) what I felt was a more appropriate future with what they have decided to do. lol. I mean, they have their own thoughts on the subject of their futures. You'd think they would defer to my unending wisdom as the mother. But no! They even make decisions without consulting me first, the little br...er...darlings. And off they go, waving good-bye and living their lives. big sigh. I would only wish it were that easy with my boys who have HFA. I'd give up wishing and hoping for my ideal version of their life if they would only take over the task and move towards their own dreams as well as most NT kids can do

it.

At any rate, I disagree with the post that said that parents often do not aim high enough for their kids. I have found the opposite to be true in most cases. Most of us aim very high and we want the most choices available as we can possibly get. But many times, it isn't aiming low but finding a compromise between what we wish and what will realistically be able to happen. I'm not sure either, why some jobs would be considered so beneath consideration. Some jobs were listed in a post as if they were not worthwhile and I don't agree with that. I think once our kids get to the older ages like 17 or 18, we parents have moments where we would sell an arm just to assure they will not be living in our basement forever. lol. And not all kids, even those with AS, have high IQ's. And as you pointed out, having a high IQ is only one factor of many. It doesn't guarantee a lot. Dream, but

have some sense of realistic expectations added to those dreams. Who wrote the post not long ago that just said it all so well - how sometimes the kids who are not having many problems in the younger years suddenly hit a wall in the older years where their social problems really surge forward. I can't remember the post and I had wanted to save it too. It was really good and accurate and I can't describe it all myself. Maybe I will find it here as I read posts and repost it.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I

have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who

have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a

learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went

through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When

Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after

school. My husband started researching universities that have "special

programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois

and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he

& Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was

impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program

would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would

learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week

away from us and to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a

little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put

him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in

Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to

Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that

he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who

flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived

in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was

when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart

or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year

and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first

year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for

buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every

semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home

next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and

eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is

to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the

three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the kind words Sandee and Barbara!

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I

have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who

have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a

learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went

through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When

Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after

school. My husband started researching universities that have "special

programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois

and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he

& Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was

impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program

would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would

learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week

away from us and to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to school was a

little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put

him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in

Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to

Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that

he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who

flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived

in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was

when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart

or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year

and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first

year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for

buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly

checks in order to keep their privileges. He has made the Dean's list every

semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home

next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and

eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is

to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the

three schools we found please let me know.

[Guest guest]

My 19 year old with Asperger's has also completed his first year of community college. He did well overall. He picked and signed up for a few classes that didn't work out. He seems to enjoy the fact that he can "pick and choose" what interests him. Seems that he is leaning towards Psychology. He got a part time job in April and that has worked out very well for him. It is at a hotel and he sets up and breaks down rooms in preparation for events. He is also in a band (plays drums) and they have just recorded and produced their second cd with a producer in Boston. I feel overall my son is doing well. He does not have his license to drive yet but admits he is not ready for it. There has been a lot of maturity within the past year though. Pam

In a message dated 7/19/2010 11:54:06 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, PLBarrett@... writes:

Hi, I am new to this list and have a bit of a different scenario of college:

Our oldest son is in college now... he has had the diagnosis of Asperger's since 3rd grade. He has had a one-to-one aid with him since the middle of second grade for focus and safety. He was without an aid a couple of times, but just wasn't able to self manage well enough to get an education. He is very lucky to have a high IQ and live in an area that offered services to meet his needs. He worked very hard (complaining all the way) in OT, speech throughout HS in pragmatics. He has had play therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc. He still takes medications to help him succeed.

He has made it through the first year with many successes. He falls through yet another crack, and there are not many services to help at the college level for him. He does not qualify for service through the regional center... so I am still working with teachers/professors behind the scenes (with my son's written permission) to get him through. I even took one class with him and it was starteling to see how his disabilities are so present in class.

He would like a part-time job, but was not a very willing participant in the Workability Program the Department of Rehabilitation assigned him to.... and they deemed him unemployable in 3 short days.... so we are trying to find an appropriate service that will help him become more employable.

Just to complicate his existence, in his opinion, his younger brothers who turn 18 in a couple of weeks have autism and are non-verbal.... that's a whole different story.

Pam B.

( ) What Happens After High School?

I have never posted anything before but want to share information with parents who have children graduating high school soon. Our son Nick has Aspergers; a learning disability in math and a low IQ along with symptoms of OCD. He went through our public school system as a regular student with remedial help. When Nick began his senior year we started worrying about what he would do after school. My husband started researching universities that have "special programs". Let me tell you there aren't many. He visited one in Illinois and was very impressed, so he kept looking. In February of his senior year he & Nick visited Eastern New Mexico University at Roswell. My husband was impressed with the director's compassion and her assurance that their program would help him two ways: 1. He would leave with a job skill and 2. He would learn to live on his own. At that point Nick had never spent more than a week away from us and to decide to send him over 1,400 miles away to schoo l was a little unnerving to say the least. But we applied and in August of 2007 we put him on a plane (something else he had never done on his own) that would land in Dallas. He would then have to transfer to the plane that would take him to Roswell. I would be kidding if I said he made it entirely on his own, or that he wasn't neurotic about doing that, but he called his dad and my husband who flies a lot walked him through every step of the way. The first year he lived in a dorm-like setting and took the stock & inventory program. Our hope was when he finished he would be able to find employment at someplace like Wal-Mart or Sam's in our home town. Fast forward to today. He asked to do a third year and the Ace Hardware he did a practicum at has hired him, and he and his first year roommate now live in an apartment on campus. They are responsible for buying groceries and keeping their apartment clean. They must pass weekly checks in order to keep their privileges. He ha s made the Dean's list every semester which has helped him to have faith in himself. When he returns home next year my husband & I are certain he will find a suitable job and eventually be able to live on his own. My point in sharing this information is to say, there is life after high school! If anyone would like the list of the three schools we found please let me know.