Guest guest Posted January 13, 2011 Report Share Posted January 13, 2011 Yes, he does have an IEP. It reads something like this: After 60 min. of homework each day, B will be done and parents will sign off. Homework will be considered complete at this time. He also has up to a week for lengthy assignments. I'm thinking we need to cut it down to 30 min. But with this accomodation, I never know how to communicate to each individual teacher what didn't get done. They mark it in their gradebook as NHI (not handed in) anyway. But, we just completed his IEP before Christmas, so this is a relatively new accomodation. I need to communicate clearly to the teachers what's required. However, I think that's the special ed teacher's job. Harrumph! I'm so down and overwhelmed that all this, besides 8 yo daughter needing to go in for bladder infection this morning (she gets them because she has encopresis and doesn't always get clean, even though I always check). She can't take sulfa like last time because she got such a bad rash (close to s Syndrome) and so I don't know how they'll treat it this time. Anyway, I don't quite know how to deal with all this like I usually can when I feel so overwhelmed like I do. Leah > > > > me again. Like I said the other day, I am depressed. However, my son, B (12 with AS) has acted like he's been depressed for several months now. We thought it got better (the meltdowns anyway) with the addition of Intuniv (2 mg) about a month ago. However, now, he's just burying his head in the couch and won't do anything. Even when encouraged and loved, like last night - he did nothing. > > > > He doesn't seem to even be interested in fun things that he's usually interested in, like video games and computer. He refuses to take a shower, which is not unlike him, actually. He refuses to do homework. > > > > This is how things went last night: I picked him up from school (like usual) and we talked about homework - he got really irritated, so I decided to leave the subject alone. He knows the drill of no electronics until after homework. He is allowed to do other non-electronic things to regroup after school. He came home, laid on the couch and buried his head in the couch. I let him be for a bit, then talked to him, and said, " If you didn't have Rangers tonight (like scouts, but at church - which he has liked in the past, but I think he goes now because " it's what I do. " ....ok sorry, lost my thought... " If you didn't have Rangers or homework tonight, what would you want to do? He answered, " nothing. " He said there is nothing to do. I don't want to do anything. Then, I asked him about a wii game that he got. He was upset because he had made a mistake and couldn't get past a certain level because of it. I asked him if Dad could help him with it later - he felt Dad couldn't help. > > > > So, I finally got out of him what homework he had to do, and he said writing and math - and there was a project due on Friday that he hadn't started. Anyway, I said, " What if we skip math, do writing, take a shower and go to a movie? " He said yes to the movie and started his writing. He and Dad went to the Yogi Bear movie, which he had wanted to see. He seemed to have fun and agreed to take a shower when he came home. When he came home, however, he went straight to his bed, laid down, buried his head in the bed. He eventually started reading a book, but we couldn't get him to take a shower or do his homework. He finally did get up and get ready for bed. > > > > I talked to him this morning about how I think he may be depressed. He says it's just that he hates homework - he works enough at school and has so much homework. > > > > In all this, I can see his " being stuck " thing with the Asperger's getting in the way, and I can't tell if it is the extra stress of middle school causing his Asperger's symptoms to flare (being more " stuck, " for instance), or if he truly is depressed. > > > > I wrote his developmental ped about this, so I'll see what he says. He is the one who dxd the AS at age 9, and has followed B since age 5. > > > > Here are his current meds. He weighs 125 pounds. > > Prozac 30 mg daily > > Intuniv (2 mg daily) > > Allegra (30 mg 2x daily) > > Singulair (5 mg) > > Fish Oil > > Multivitamin > > Asmanex inhaler for asthma > > and he's supposed to take DDAVP for bedwetting but refuses > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2011 Report Share Posted January 13, 2011 What kind of school does he go to? I know in my area they have charter schools , middle school for me was HORRIBLE i fell into a deep depression because i could not keep up with homework , i was so stressed out about having friends and trying to avoid getting picked on everyday! It ofcourse never got better , infact it only got worse ..... by the time i was a sophmore in highschool i was so depressed that i would eat lunch in the bathroom stall by myself! I was failing all of my classes and was told i wouldnt be able to graduate on time ... so my mother pulled me out of my highschool , and sent me to a charter school , where its more self paced and you teach a lot of it to yourself ( a teacher is there to help and watch over the students , and will help if you need something explained) and i learned SOOOOOO much more than i did when i was at my highschool, the setting was just easier for me to concentrate , because we didnt switch classrooms , there were only like 6 -8 other kids in my classroom , and you could work on whatever subject you wanted to whenever you wanted to! I didnt have homework , and i think because of all that , i found myself becoming very self motivated to do my work at school , i LOVED to learn again , it was the best thing my mother ever did for me!! That was just my experience , and my life didnt get better until that change was made!! So i think like pam said , maybe try to talk to the school and see if they can reduce his homework load!! Poor guy is just stressed out! Hope things get better , for your son , and for you!!! Depression is such a hard thing to get out of , but your doing the right thing by asking questions , and recognizing it , things will get better if you dont give up!!! Trust me!!! :)Meaghan From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 7:42:56 AMSubject: ( ) Re: son depressed? Why don't you ask the doctor for a homework pass and reduction in homework, and allow him some extra incentive if he gets it done at home otherwise it is his choice. The incentive can be use of a particular video game or something he likes. Some AS kids under stress like this have a huge meltdown when they get home. In him the stress shows up as withdrawn/depressed. He is worn out by the day. Is he better, happier on the weekends? Once they into into a stressed out state it usually is not that easy to recover from on a weekend. My daughter is near the maximum dose for zoloft so my only option is to have pressure at school reduced. Socializing for our kids is hard, but not too much we can fix about that. But homework reductions are fairly cost free accomodations for schools and with a doctor note many will give this accomodation. Does he have an IEP? Pam > > me again. Like I said the other day, I am depressed. However, my son, B (12 with AS) has acted like he's been depressed for several months now. We thought it got better (the meltdowns anyway) with the addition of Intuniv (2 mg) about a month ago. However, now, he's just burying his head in the couch and won't do anything. Even when encouraged and loved, like last night - he did nothing. > > He doesn't seem to even be interested in fun things that he's usually interested in, like video games and computer. He refuses to take a shower, which is not unlike him, actually. He refuses to do homework. > > This is how things went last night: I picked him up from school (like usual) and we talked about homework - he got really irritated, so I decided to leave the subject alone. He knows the drill of no electronics until after homework. He is allowed to do other non-electronic things to regroup after school. He came home, laid on the couch and buried his head in the couch. I let him be for a bit, then talked to him, and said, "If you didn't have Rangers tonight (like scouts, but at church - which he has liked in the past, but I think he goes now because "it's what I do."....ok sorry, lost my thought..."If you didn't have Rangers or homework tonight, what would you want to do? He answered, "nothing." He said there is nothing to do. I don't want to do anything. Then, I asked him about a wii game that he got. He was upset because he had made a mistake and couldn't get past a certain level because of it. I asked him if Dad could help him with it later - he felt Dad couldn't help. > > So, I finally got out of him what homework he had to do, and he said writing and math - and there was a project due on Friday that he hadn't started. Anyway, I said, "What if we skip math, do writing, take a shower and go to a movie?" He said yes to the movie and started his writing. He and Dad went to the Yogi Bear movie, which he had wanted to see. He seemed to have fun and agreed to take a shower when he came home. When he came home, however, he went straight to his bed, laid down, buried his head in the bed. He eventually started reading a book, but we couldn't get him to take a shower or do his homework. He finally did get up and get ready for bed. > > I talked to him this morning about how I think he may be depressed. He says it's just that he hates homework - he works enough at school and has so much homework. > > In all this, I can see his "being stuck" thing with the Asperger's getting in the way, and I can't tell if it is the extra stress of middle school causing his Asperger's symptoms to flare (being more "stuck," for instance), or if he truly is depressed. > > I wrote his developmental ped about this, so I'll see what he says. He is the one who dxd the AS at age 9, and has followed B since age 5. > > Here are his current meds. He weighs 125 pounds. > Prozac 30 mg daily > Intuniv (2 mg daily) > Allegra (30 mg 2x daily) > Singulair (5 mg) > Fish Oil > Multivitamin > Asmanex inhaler for asthma > and he's supposed to take DDAVP for bedwetting but refuses > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2011 Report Share Posted January 13, 2011 Also , i forgot to ask , how is he doing with the other kids at school, obviously its no secret that a lot of aspies have troubles in the area , but are the other kids at school nice to him? Do you think that could be causing any of his depression ? MeaghanFrom: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 7:42:56 AMSubject: ( ) Re: son depressed? Why don't you ask the doctor for a homework pass and reduction in homework, and allow him some extra incentive if he gets it done at home otherwise it is his choice. The incentive can be use of a particular video game or something he likes. Some AS kids under stress like this have a huge meltdown when they get home. In him the stress shows up as withdrawn/depressed. He is worn out by the day. Is he better, happier on the weekends? Once they into into a stressed out state it usually is not that easy to recover from on a weekend. My daughter is near the maximum dose for zoloft so my only option is to have pressure at school reduced. Socializing for our kids is hard, but not too much we can fix about that. But homework reductions are fairly cost free accomodations for schools and with a doctor note many will give this accomodation. Does he have an IEP? Pam > > me again. Like I said the other day, I am depressed. However, my son, B (12 with AS) has acted like he's been depressed for several months now. We thought it got better (the meltdowns anyway) with the addition of Intuniv (2 mg) about a month ago. However, now, he's just burying his head in the couch and won't do anything. Even when encouraged and loved, like last night - he did nothing. > > He doesn't seem to even be interested in fun things that he's usually interested in, like video games and computer. He refuses to take a shower, which is not unlike him, actually. He refuses to do homework. > > This is how things went last night: I picked him up from school (like usual) and we talked about homework - he got really irritated, so I decided to leave the subject alone. He knows the drill of no electronics until after homework. He is allowed to do other non-electronic things to regroup after school. He came home, laid on the couch and buried his head in the couch. I let him be for a bit, then talked to him, and said, "If you didn't have Rangers tonight (like scouts, but at church - which he has liked in the past, but I think he goes now because "it's what I do."....ok sorry, lost my thought..."If you didn't have Rangers or homework tonight, what would you want to do? He answered, "nothing." He said there is nothing to do. I don't want to do anything. Then, I asked him about a wii game that he got. He was upset because he had made a mistake and couldn't get past a certain level because of it. I asked him if Dad could help him with it later - he felt Dad couldn't help. > > So, I finally got out of him what homework he had to do, and he said writing and math - and there was a project due on Friday that he hadn't started. Anyway, I said, "What if we skip math, do writing, take a shower and go to a movie?" He said yes to the movie and started his writing. He and Dad went to the Yogi Bear movie, which he had wanted to see. He seemed to have fun and agreed to take a shower when he came home. When he came home, however, he went straight to his bed, laid down, buried his head in the bed. He eventually started reading a book, but we couldn't get him to take a shower or do his homework. He finally did get up and get ready for bed. > > I talked to him this morning about how I think he may be depressed. He says it's just that he hates homework - he works enough at school and has so much homework. > > In all this, I can see his "being stuck" thing with the Asperger's getting in the way, and I can't tell if it is the extra stress of middle school causing his Asperger's symptoms to flare (being more "stuck," for instance), or if he truly is depressed. > > I wrote his developmental ped about this, so I'll see what he says. He is the one who dxd the AS at age 9, and has followed B since age 5. > > Here are his current meds. He weighs 125 pounds. > Prozac 30 mg daily > Intuniv (2 mg daily) > Allegra (30 mg 2x daily) > Singulair (5 mg) > Fish Oil > Multivitamin > Asmanex inhaler for asthma > and he's supposed to take DDAVP for bedwetting but refuses > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2011 Report Share Posted January 13, 2011 Maybe with all the stress, maybe homework time needs to be family game time, or family relax and soak your feet time, or family make cookies and eat them time. The family is too overwhelmed it sounds like. School may not be rewarding but when your son comes home, life can be relaxing and a refuge. Maybe no homework for now. I would call the case manager or email and ask for help communicating that homework needs to be done in school or not given at all until health improves.. I get urinary tract infections too. Macrobin is used for those 12 and over. There are pediatric urinary specialists that would know how to treat this issue. Hope things get calmer, Pam > > > > > > me again. Like I said the other day, I am depressed. However, my son, B (12 with AS) has acted like he's been depressed for several months now. We thought it got better (the meltdowns anyway) with the addition of Intuniv (2 mg) about a month ago. However, now, he's just burying his head in the couch and won't do anything. Even when encouraged and loved, like last night - he did nothing. > > > > > > He doesn't seem to even be interested in fun things that he's usually interested in, like video games and computer. He refuses to take a shower, which is not unlike him, actually. He refuses to do homework. > > > > > > This is how things went last night: I picked him up from school (like usual) and we talked about homework - he got really irritated, so I decided to leave the subject alone. He knows the drill of no electronics until after homework. He is allowed to do other non-electronic things to regroup after school. He came home, laid on the couch and buried his head in the couch. I let him be for a bit, then talked to him, and said, " If you didn't have Rangers tonight (like scouts, but at church - which he has liked in the past, but I think he goes now because " it's what I do. " ....ok sorry, lost my thought... " If you didn't have Rangers or homework tonight, what would you want to do? He answered, " nothing. " He said there is nothing to do. I don't want to do anything. Then, I asked him about a wii game that he got. He was upset because he had made a mistake and couldn't get past a certain level because of it. I asked him if Dad could help him with it later - he felt Dad couldn't help. > > > > > > So, I finally got out of him what homework he had to do, and he said writing and math - and there was a project due on Friday that he hadn't started. Anyway, I said, " What if we skip math, do writing, take a shower and go to a movie? " He said yes to the movie and started his writing. He and Dad went to the Yogi Bear movie, which he had wanted to see. He seemed to have fun and agreed to take a shower when he came home. When he came home, however, he went straight to his bed, laid down, buried his head in the bed. He eventually started reading a book, but we couldn't get him to take a shower or do his homework. He finally did get up and get ready for bed. > > > > > > I talked to him this morning about how I think he may be depressed. He says it's just that he hates homework - he works enough at school and has so much homework. > > > > > > In all this, I can see his " being stuck " thing with the Asperger's getting in the way, and I can't tell if it is the extra stress of middle school causing his Asperger's symptoms to flare (being more " stuck, " for instance), or if he truly is depressed. > > > > > > I wrote his developmental ped about this, so I'll see what he says. He is the one who dxd the AS at age 9, and has followed B since age 5. > > > > > > Here are his current meds. He weighs 125 pounds. > > > Prozac 30 mg daily > > > Intuniv (2 mg daily) > > > Allegra (30 mg 2x daily) > > > Singulair (5 mg) > > > Fish Oil > > > Multivitamin > > > Asmanex inhaler for asthma > > > and he's supposed to take DDAVP for bedwetting but refuses > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I think you have a grand idea with no homework for now. However, I just asked the spec ed teacher if he could do 20 minutes of homework instead of 60. She hasn't gotten back to me on having talked to the teachers about it. Last night, he did do 20 minutes. I agree that the family is overwhelmed right now. Schools don't seem to care about that. They seem to see it as a character flaw on the parents' part. I'd like to write more, but I'm so tired right now, I can hardly keep my eyes open, but the beginning of a new day is upon us and I have to stay up. Thanks for your encouragement. I need it. Leah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Meaghan, thanks for sharing your experience with me. Wow, that must have been horrific for you. I'm so glad you are doing better now. Depression is an awful thing. My husband struggles with it, and I guess I said already that I have bipolar disorder. The depression part hit me hard this past week or so. I'm feeling better today, though, and sometimes we just have to take it one day at a time, right? I did talk to his spec. ed. teacher about getting his homework load reduced. She hasn't gotten back to me, as I hoped she would have yesterday. We have been thinking about an online school for . There is one in MN called Blue Sky that is specifically geared towards kids on the edges, if that makes any sense. Kids may have a disability, or be at-risk for dropping out. There is a main teacher, a special ed teacher, a counselor, and a social worker assigned to each child. I think we'll look more seriously into it. The school he goes to now is a choice school - the smallest middle school in the district. Many kids with AS have gone there. I don't know, though...they also have the " highly gifted " program there, too, so I think there are pretty high expectations of all the kids because of that. Have to go ~ Leah > > > > me again. Like I said the other day, I am depressed. However, my son, B (12 > >with AS) has acted like he's been depressed for several months now. We thought > >it got better (the meltdowns anyway) with the addition of Intuniv (2 mg) about a > >month ago. However, now, he's just burying his head in the couch and won't do > >anything. Even when encouraged and loved, like last night - he did nothing. > > > > > > He doesn't seem to even be interested in fun things that he's usually > >interested in, like video games and computer. He refuses to take a shower, > >which is not unlike him, actually. He refuses to do homework. > > > > > > This is how things went last night: I picked him up from school (like usual) > >and we talked about homework - he got really irritated, so I decided to leave > >the subject alone. He knows the drill of no electronics until after homework. > >He is allowed to do other non-electronic things to regroup after school. He > >came home, laid on the couch and buried his head in the couch. I let him be for > >a bit, then talked to him, and said, " If you didn't have Rangers tonight (like > >scouts, but at church - which he has liked in the past, but I think he goes now > >because " it's what I do. " ....ok sorry, lost my thought... " If you didn't have > >Rangers or homework tonight, what would you want to do? He answered, " nothing. " > >He said there is nothing to do. I don't want to do anything. Then, I asked him > >about a wii game that he got. He was upset because he had made a mistake and > >couldn't get past a certain level because of it. I asked him if Dad could help > >him with it later - he felt Dad couldn't help. > > > > So, I finally got out of him what homework he had to do, and he said writing > >and math - and there was a project due on Friday that he hadn't started. > >Anyway, I said, " What if we skip math, do writing, take a shower and go to a > >movie? " He said yes to the movie and started his writing. He and Dad went to > >the Yogi Bear movie, which he had wanted to see. He seemed to have fun and > >agreed to take a shower when he came home. When he came home, however, he went > >straight to his bed, laid down, buried his head in the bed. He eventually > >started reading a book, but we couldn't get him to take a shower or do his > >homework. He finally did get up and get ready for bed. > > > > I talked to him this morning about how I think he may be depressed. He says > >it's just that he hates homework - he works enough at school and has so much > >homework. > > > > > > In all this, I can see his " being stuck " thing with the Asperger's getting in > >the way, and I can't tell if it is the extra stress of middle school causing his > >Asperger's symptoms to flare (being more " stuck, " for instance), or if he truly > >is depressed. > > > > I wrote his developmental ped about this, so I'll see what he says. He is the > >one who dxd the AS at age 9, and has followed B since age 5. > > > > > > Here are his current meds. He weighs 125 pounds. > > Prozac 30 mg daily > > Intuniv (2 mg daily) > > Allegra (30 mg 2x daily) > > Singulair (5 mg) > > Fish Oil > > Multivitamin > > Asmanex inhaler for asthma > > and he's supposed to take DDAVP for bedwetting but refuses > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 You are so right , i take it day by day too!! I am actually enrolling my son in a virtual online school thats funded through the public school system , its called Connections Academy , its sounds fantastic im really excited to go to a meeting i have with them next week to learn even more about the school and to enroll my son! I like it because i think its the best chance for him to thrive! He loves learning , and this setting will allow him to do that , because its at home! Also they focus on socializing , they have field trips every single month , play groups , clubs , and as early as first grade they can participate in all the clubs , and can take a spanish class, or alot of other different electives they so choose! So im loving it so far , but we shall see i guess , hopefully he will love it too , he is already sooo excited about it! I know they have Connections Academy in almost every state in the us , so maybe see if its offered in your state , they have a website too to find out all the info on it! www.connectionsacademy.com Meaghan :)From: mommiestgirl02 <mommiestgirl02@...> Sent: Fri, January 14, 2011 9:23:15 AMSubject: ( ) Re: son depressed? Meaghan, thanks for sharing your experience with me. Wow, that must have been horrific for you. I'm so glad you are doing better now. Depression is an awful thing. My husband struggles with it, and I guess I said already that I have bipolar disorder. The depression part hit me hard this past week or so. I'm feeling better today, though, and sometimes we just have to take it one day at a time, right? I did talk to his spec. ed. teacher about getting his homework load reduced. She hasn't gotten back to me, as I hoped she would have yesterday. We have been thinking about an online school for . There is one in MN called Blue Sky that is specifically geared towards kids on the edges, if that makes any sense. Kids may have a disability, or be at-risk for dropping out. There is a main teacher, a special ed teacher, a counselor, and a social worker assigned to each child. I think we'll look more seriously into it. The school he goes to now is a choice school - the smallest middle school in the district. Many kids with AS have gone there. I don't know, though...they also have the "highly gifted" program there, too, so I think there are pretty high expectations of all the kids because of that. Have to go ~ Leah > > > > me again. Like I said the other day, I am depressed. However, my son, B (12 > >with AS) has acted like he's been depressed for several months now. We thought > >it got better (the meltdowns anyway) with the addition of Intuniv (2 mg) about a > >month ago. However, now, he's just burying his head in the couch and won't do > >anything. Even when encouraged and loved, like last night - he did nothing. > > > > > > He doesn't seem to even be interested in fun things that he's usually > >interested in, like video games and computer. He refuses to take a shower, > >which is not unlike him, actually. He refuses to do homework. > > > > > > This is how things went last night: I picked him up from school (like usual) > >and we talked about homework - he got really irritated, so I decided to leave > >the subject alone. He knows the drill of no electronics until after homework. > >He is allowed to do other non-electronic things to regroup after school. He > >came home, laid on the couch and buried his head in the couch. I let him be for > >a bit, then talked to him, and said, "If you didn't have Rangers tonight (like > >scouts, but at church - which he has liked in the past, but I think he goes now > >because "it's what I do."....ok sorry, lost my thought..."If you didn't have > >Rangers or homework tonight, what would you want to do? He answered, "nothing." > >He said there is nothing to do. I don't want to do anything. Then, I asked him > >about a wii game that he got. He was upset because he had made a mistake and > >couldn't get past a certain level because of it. I asked him if Dad could help > >him with it later - he felt Dad couldn't help. > > > > So, I finally got out of him what homework he had to do, and he said writing > >and math - and there was a project due on Friday that he hadn't started. > >Anyway, I said, "What if we skip math, do writing, take a shower and go to a > >movie?" He said yes to the movie and started his writing. He and Dad went to > >the Yogi Bear movie, which he had wanted to see. He seemed to have fun and > >agreed to take a shower when he came home. When he came home, however, he went > >straight to his bed, laid down, buried his head in the bed. He eventually > >started reading a book, but we couldn't get him to take a shower or do his > >homework. He finally did get up and get ready for bed. > > > > I talked to him this morning about how I think he may be depressed. He says > >it's just that he hates homework - he works enough at school and has so much > >homework. > > > > > > In all this, I can see his "being stuck" thing with the Asperger's getting in > >the way, and I can't tell if it is the extra stress of middle school causing his > >Asperger's symptoms to flare (being more "stuck," for instance), or if he truly > >is depressed. > > > > I wrote his developmental ped about this, so I'll see what he says. He is the > >one who dxd the AS at age 9, and has followed B since age 5. > > > > > > Here are his current meds. He weighs 125 pounds. > > Prozac 30 mg daily > > Intuniv (2 mg daily) > > Allegra (30 mg 2x daily) > > Singulair (5 mg) > > Fish Oil > > Multivitamin > > Asmanex inhaler for asthma > > and he's supposed to take DDAVP for bedwetting but refuses > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.