Re: Talking on the phone..different thread

[Guest guest]

Hi,I gave my aspie girl a cell phone last month , so when she gets her panic attack she can call me.She texts messages everybody, ,by this time I wonder if the entire world knows my shoes sizes, brass sizes and how behind I am in my bills and all her doctors and names and how they treat each health condition she has.In the other hand the phone has helped her to socialize. She does not have to look for cues for people when she is talking in the phone and also has brought to her friends more understanding and compassion regarding her problems.I used to worry about the other children making fun of her, I sneak and read the text messages and it does not look like that at this moment.I told my girl that I will cut friendship if am aware of somebody making fun of her So far the phone has been a good idea, she is learning to communicate more with me and her friends.my girl has made of me a Public Figure, but I do not mind it. The other day I picked her up from school and by my surprise all her friends surrounded me and were very friendly ( I felt like a movie start, LOL).Natasha communicate to them every day struggles, suffering, pain and disappointment, most of them have reacted being protective of her and given her excellent advise. When somebody makes fun of , some friends interfere and help her. ( ) Talking on the phone..different threadMy 10 year old daughter just recently diagnosed with As has wanted to start talking on the phone with some of the girls from school. I am not sure if these girls are really wanting to talk to Aimee of if they are doing it to make fun of her . We have parent teacher conferences next week and plan on finding out if these girls are really reaching out or if they have something else in mind. Anyway, how much privacy should I give her. She does will tell way too much if I am not there to catch her. When they were talking the other day the girl called her and Aimee just about told about what happened at all her doctor's appointments. I told her that was something we kept to ourselves. So I am really struggling with letting her be a 10 year old talking on the phone and knowing that she does not have the filters to know what to talk about and what not to talk about.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I totally hear you.

How about inviting the gal/gals over after school? Have them over for snacks, etc.That way you can see first-hand how their interaction is going?

As far as the phone conversations,,,,,man,,,,it's hard, cause you KNOW how easy it would be for your daughter to get sucked into a terrible thing and you definitely don't want her to be picked on and made fun of......but if you put a stop to the calls,,,,,,it may do more damage, ya know? Maybe talk to your daughter about how not everyone is nice. That's simply the way the world is............

Good luck.

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

From: kricketsmommy@... <kricketsmommy@...>Subject: ( ) Talking on the phone..different thread Date: Wednesday, February 10, 2010, 4:47 PM

My 10 year old daughter just recently diagnosed with As has wanted to start talking on the phone with some of the girls from school. I am not sure if these girls are really wanting to talk to Aimee of if they are doing it to make fun of her . We have parent teacher conferences next week and plan on finding out if these girls are really reaching out or if they have something else in mind. Anyway, how much privacy should I give her. She does will tell way too much if I am not there to catch her. When they were talking the other day the girl called her and Aimee just about told about what happened at all her doctor's appointments. I told her that was something we kept to ourselves. So I am really struggling with letting her be a 10 year old talking on the phone and knowing that she does not have the filters to know what to talk about and what not to talk about.

[Guest guest]

Three of the girls dropped by one day a few minutes unannounced back in the fall. We gave them some juice and they sat on the couch in a row and didn't say a word and if we asked them a question they gave a short answer. Aimee on the other hand was as nervous as she could be pacing talking two miles a minute. (she already talks one). She just couldn't believe they stopped by. She really liked the idea of having them there but she didn't know what to do while they were here only about 10 minutes we were getting ready to head to church. I think it was totally impulsive on the girls part. They had nothing better to do. These are the same girls, who saw Aimee in the park down the street and ran away from Aimee while she was trying to talk to them.

Hi ,

I totally hear you.

How about inviting the gal/gals over after school? Have them over for snacks, etc.That way you can see first-hand how their interaction is going?

As far as the phone conversations,,,,,man,,,,it's hard, cause you KNOW how easy it would be for your daughter to get sucked into a terrible thing and you definitely don't want her to be picked on and made fun of......but if you put a stop to the calls,,,,,,it may do more damage, ya know? Maybe talk to your daughter about how not everyone is nice. That's simply the way the world is............

Good luck.

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

[Guest guest]

Oh....that changes things.

The "theres-nothing-better-going-on" kids. Wow, they're everywhere, darnit!!!! Hate them.

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

From: kricketsmommy@... <kricketsmommy@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Talking on the phone..different thread Date: Thursday, February 11, 2010, 6:51 PM

Three of the girls dropped by one day a few minutes unannounced back in the fall. We gave them some juice and they sat on the couch in a row and didn't say a word and if we asked them a question they gave a short answer. Aimee on the other hand was as nervous as she could be pacing talking two miles a minute. (she already talks one). She just couldn't believe they stopped by. She really liked the idea of having them there but she didn't know what to do while they were here only about 10 minutes we were getting ready to head to church. I think it was totally impulsive on the girls part. They had nothing better to do. These are the same girls, who saw Aimee in the park down the street and ran away from Aimee while she was trying to talk to them.

Hi ,

I totally hear you.

How about inviting the gal/gals over after school? Have them over for snacks, etc.That way you can see first-hand how their interaction is going?

As far as the phone conversations, ,,,,man,, ,,it's hard, cause you KNOW how easy it would be for your daughter to get sucked into a terrible thing and you definitely don't want her to be picked on and made fun of......but if you put a stop to the calls,,,,,,it may do more damage, ya know? Maybe talk to your daughter about how not everyone is nice. That's simply the way the world is.......... ..

Good luck.

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

[Guest guest]

It seems to me that your daughter and her friend are talking about what friends

talk about. Whether she has Asperger's or not, she will experience ups and downs

with tne girls in school....just as we did. The girls in school have to get to

know her in order to decide whether or not they are a good fit. Your daughter

needs socialization. I have a 15 yr old daughter with Aspergers. It's hard. You

want to protect them. But we also need to give them the chances to soar, or

crash. It's our job to be there and console and tell them about when we were

their age and how we felt that way to....and mayve sometimes still do. She is

still the same girl you knew before her diagnosis. Only now, you will better

know how to help her as you reach out to people in the group and do research

online and read books and listen to your doctor and her therapist. It's

important to get into therapy. Often the county has great programs with groups

available and excellent chances to socialize. This is just my opinion. I can say

I understand how you feel. My daughter ended up calling her friends too much at

that age and would end up driving them away. Once I even had a mother tell me

that had called HER at work and it was " inappropriate " and she did not

want to call her or her daughters again. It was very painful. I had to

explain to what had happened and let her know that some people were more

understanding than others but it WAS uncool to call someone at work unless they

had specifically requested that she call her at work. This could have happended

to a child without Asperger's Syndrome. I am beginning to understand, through

therapy, that I may not always know if it's an Asperger's thing, a girl thing,

or a teenage thing. My job is to teach and coach regardless of whether I know

the source of the problem. My job is still the same. Your job is still the same.

Just be there for her. Don't hold her back completely. She will survive the

pains of growing up. I think you will survive it as well because you are doing

all you can do. Now go and learn and grow and love that girl. -Betsy

>

> My 10 year old daughter just recently diagnosed with As has wanted to start

> talking on the phone with some of the girls from school. I am not sure if

> these girls are really wanting to talk to Aimee of if they are doing it to

> make fun of her . We have parent teacher conferences next week and plan

> on finding out if these girls are really reaching out or if they have

> something else in mind. Anyway, how much privacy should I give her. She

does

> will tell way too much if I am not there to catch her. When they were

> talking the other day the girl called her and Aimee just about told about what

> happened at all her doctor's appointments. I told her that was something we

> kept to ourselves. So I am really struggling with letting her be a 10 year

> old talking on the phone and knowing that she does not have the filters to

> know what to talk about and what not to talk about.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Kricketsmommy:

That is nice. I hope some more good came from it.

T.

Re: ( ) Talking on the phone..different thread

Three of the girls dropped by one day a few minutes unannounced back in the fall. We gave them some juice and they sat on the couch in a row and didn't say a word and if we asked them a question they gave a short answer. Aimee on the other hand was as nervous as she could be pacing talking two miles a minute. (she already talks one). She just couldn't believe they stopped by. She really liked the idea of having them there but she didn't know what to do while they were here only about 10 minutes we were getting ready to head to church. I think it was totally impulsive on the girls part. They had nothing better to do. These are the same girls, who saw Aimee in the park down the street and ran away from Aimee while she was trying to talk to them.

Hi ,

I totally hear you.

How about inviting the gal/gals over after school? Have them over for snacks, etc.That way you can see first-hand how their interaction is going?

As far as the phone conversations,,,,,man,,,,it's hard, cause you KNOW how easy it would be for your daughter to get sucked into a terrible thing and you definitely don't want her to be picked on and made fun of......but if you put a stop to the calls,,,,,,it may do more damage, ya know? Maybe talk to your daughter about how not everyone is nice. That's simply the way the world is............

Good luck.

It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

Robin

[Guest guest]

Hi Betsy,This is a good posting and I totally agree with you.I will keep your posting on my refrigerator...I love your insights.I agreed with you 100%. I have no too many friends but the one that I have can call me anytime, stop by my house anytime. Also I call them anytime I have a problem.I have crashed with my friends too, but things always worked out and say sorry to each other. But they are there for me in good and bad time.You advise apply to everybody. I will print this post and give it to my daugther to read too. ( ) Re: Talking on the phone..different threadIt seems to me that your daughter and her friend are talking about what friends talk about. Whether she has Asperger's or not, she will experience ups and downs with tne girls in school....just as we did. The girls in school have to get to know her in order to decide whether or not they are a good fit. Your daughter needs socialization. I have a 15 yr old daughter with Aspergers. It's hard. You want to protect them. But we also need to give them the chances to soar, or crash. It's our job to be there and console and tell them about when we were their age and how we felt that way to....and mayve sometimes still do. She is still the same girl you knew before her diagnosis. Only now, you will better know how to help her as you reach out to people in the group and do research online and read books and listen to your doctor and her therapist. It's important to get into therapy. Often the county has great programs with groups available and excellent chances to socialize. This is just my opinion. I can say I understand how you feel. My daughter ended up calling her friends too much at that age and would end up driving them away. Once I even had a mother tell me that had called HER at work and it was "inappropriate" and she did not want to call her or her daughters again. It was very painful. I had to explain to what had happened and let her know that some people were more understanding than others but it WAS uncool to call someone at work unless they had specifically requested that she call her at work. This could have happended to a child without Asperger's Syndrome. I am beginning to understand, through therapy, that I may not always know if it's an Asperger's thing, a girl thing, or a teenage thing. My job is to teach and coach regardless of whether I know the source of the problem. My job is still the same. Your job is still the same. Just be there for her. Don't hold her back completely. She will survive the pains of growing up. I think you will survive it as well because you are doing all you can do. Now go and learn and grow and love that girl. -Betsy>> My 10 year old daughter just recently diagnosed with As has wanted to start > talking on the phone with some of the girls from school. I am not sure if > these girls are really wanting to talk to Aimee of if they are doing it to > make fun of her . We have parent teacher conferences next week and plan > on finding out if these girls are really reaching out or if they have > something else in mind. Anyway, how much privacy should I give her. She does > will tell way too much if I am not there to catch her. When they were > talking the other day the girl called her and Aimee just about told about what > happened at all her doctor's appointments. I told her that was something we > kept to ourselves. So I am really struggling with letting her be a 10 year > old talking on the phone and knowing that she does not have the filters to > know what to talk about and what not to talk about.> > >

[Guest guest]

what is it like for me on the phone.

its hard cause it goes to fast.

I think that's what it is; verbal is to fast.

I need to digest things.

is this how it is for your children too, that verbal seems to be to fast?

>

> Dear Kricketsmommy:

> That is nice. I hope some more good came from it.

>

> T.

> Re: ( ) Talking on the phone..different thread

>

>

>

>

> Three of the girls dropped by one day a few minutes unannounced back in the

fall. We gave them some juice and they sat on the couch in a row and didn't say

a word and if we asked them a question they gave a short answer. Aimee on the

other hand was as nervous as she could be pacing talking two miles a minute.

(she already talks one). She just couldn't believe they stopped by. She really

liked the idea of having them there but she didn't know what to do while they

were here only about 10 minutes we were getting ready to head to church. I think

it was totally impulsive on the girls part. They had nothing better to do.

These are the same girls, who saw Aimee in the park down the street and ran away

from Aimee while she was trying to talk to them.

>

>

>

>

> Hi ,

>

> I totally hear you.

> How about inviting the gal/gals over after school? Have them over for

snacks, etc.

> That way you can see first-hand how their interaction is going?

> As far as the phone conversations,,,,,man,,,,it's hard, cause you KNOW how

easy it would be for your daughter to get sucked into a terrible thing and you

definitely don't want her to be picked on and made fun of......but if you put a

stop to the calls,,,,,,it may do more damage, ya know?

> Maybe talk to your daughter about how not everyone is nice. That's simply

the way the world is............

> Good luck.

>

> It really is simple. Just treat others kindly and with respect.

> Robin

>

[Guest guest]

Does she have an IEP at school? I would advocate for a social skill program asap. I mean, these are the things she can be learning - what is appropriate conversation, what information is person, etc.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) Talking on the phone..different thread

My 10 year old daughter just recently diagnosed with As has wanted to start talking on the phone with some of the girls from school. I am not sure if these girls are really wanting to talk to Aimee of if they are doing it to make fun of her . We have parent teacher conferences next week and plan on finding out if these girls are really reaching out or if they have something else in mind. Anyway, how much privacy should I give her. She does will tell way too much if I am not there to catch her. When they were talking the other day the girl called her and Aimee just about told about what happened at all her doctor's appointments. I told her that was something we kept to ourselves. So I am really struggling with letting her be a 10 year old talking on the phone and knowing that she does not have the filters to know what to talk about and what not to talk about.

[Guest guest]

Totally understand what you mean. I actually have learned to prep myself so I

have a response to deal with this. I prefer to feel things out and observe. Of

note, as a child I rarely spoke; I'm still that way now. And of course it makes

small talk more like torture

>

> what is it like for me on the phone.

>

> its hard cause it goes to fast.

>

> I think that's what it is; verbal is to fast.

>

> I need to digest things.

>

> is this how it is for your children too, that verbal seems to be to fast?