Re: The future of our children

July 19, 2010

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is

the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go

for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are

you in? In in Northern Va.

>

> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about

my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive,

sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain

subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the

resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college

like every other child in America. It will not be a special college either, it

may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of

Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward

to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a

stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc..

Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him

think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is

greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become

greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their

disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they

can't do anything or won't amount to much.

>

> We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I

moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a

lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP

YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have

and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed

you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and

we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to

be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for

a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how

high they will soar!

>

July 19, 2010

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

July 19, 2010

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06@...> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@...>

Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.

>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much.

> > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar!

> > >

July 19, 2010

He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!" but, here in the state of Va, we have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up park days, play dates, field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:00:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

July 19, 2010

I get the socializtion is a non-issue for nt homeschoolers, but I am perplexed on how to do it for kids with any type of issue like asperger's. My son would never do well in group sports like what you mentioned, so your son must be very high functioning?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 7:09 PM, <teamjakob06@...> wrote:

He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says " CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD! " but, here in the state of Va, we have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up park days, play dates, field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@...>

Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:00:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com>

Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.

>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much.

> > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar!

> > >

July 19, 2010

I don't understand the answer - " he is 7! "

Is that too young to socialize?

It's a huge part of the school system in nyc from the start of prek; Kids are

expected to play together, to team up on projects and compete with and against

each other ...

My son has been in mainstream schools through 3rd grade but was starting to sit

out of group projects and it was problematic. Though he was learning - he

wasn't letting anyone in on what he knew and the teacher - in a class of 29 kids

- wasn't able to draw it out of him. He'll be moving to a special ed class of

12 kids at a new school in the fall and I hope that along with the traditional

academics which he does quite well - he will also learn the skills associated

with social play which will ultimately help him become a productive citizen when

he grows up and gets a job...

He attends a mainstream camp right now and though he's satisfied with the

experience, his expectations are low. He doesn't really make friends .. there

are kids he talks to - but he doesn't get phone numbers, there are no out of

camp get togethers and we won't see these kids outside of this experience....

and my son, couldn't care less.

I think the social aspect of AS is huge .. and much more debilitating in the

work world than anything academic. Fortunately, as this world becomes more and

more computer centric - I think many more jobs will be available that don't

require the kind of social interaction that our kids find so difficult and

therefore, there will be more and more options available to them ...

PS - as a homeschooler - are you able to get any therapy for your ds?

>

> He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that

says

> " CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD! " Â but, here in the state of Va,

we

> have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up parkÂ days,Â play

dates,

> field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo,

> baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also

helpful.Â

> Â TeamJakob

> Support children with

> Aspergers,

> With your support their is

> no limit to Jakob's success!!

>

July 19, 2010

He is high functioning with a high IQ, I will know more about all that on the 19th when we go for his new evaluation. But, I do not let Aspergers hinder him. He use to never talked to anyone or play with anyone, I mean like last year, but because I have put him in these situations and helped him control himself, he is learning to deal. BUT, we still have screaming fits and a bossiness problem, but it is a work in progress. Children whom we are around are very understanding and even some of them have aspergers too as well as other disabilities. Its all about who you surround yourself and your child with as well as people understanding and acceptance. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:21:06 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I get the socializtion is a non-issue for nt homeschoolers, but I am perplexed on how to do it for kids with any type of issue like asperger's. My son would never do well in group sports like what you mentioned, so your son must be very high functioning?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 7:09 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!" but, here in the state of Va, we have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up park days, play dates, field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:00:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

July 19, 2010

Your never to young to socialize. He started in daycare at 6 months and was in daycare until he was 3, therefore he was socialized with other children. Socialization comes in many different forms. Oh and I have learned very quickly to never under estimate the power and knowledge of a 7 year old. My child shocks me everyday with the things that come out of his mouth and the knowledge he obtains.. Gee, if only he'd read better.. lol TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: bkaspiemom <rachelfran@...> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 8:03:48 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I don't understand the answer - "he is 7!"Is that too young to socialize?It's a huge part of the school system in nyc from the start of prek; Kids are expected to play together, to team up on projects and compete with and against each other ... My son has been in mainstream schools through 3rd grade but was starting to sit out of group projects and it was problematic. Though he was learning - he wasn't letting anyone in on what he knew and the teacher - in a class of 29 kids - wasn't able to draw it out of him. He'll be moving to a special ed class of 12 kids at a new school in the fall and I hope that along with the traditional academics which he does quite well - he will also learn the skills associated with social play which will ultimately help him become a productive citizen when he grows up and gets a job...He attends a mainstream camp right now and though he's satisfied with the experience, his expectations are low.

He doesn't really make friends .. there are kids he talks to - but he doesn't get phone numbers, there are no out of camp get togethers and we won't see these kids outside of this experience.... and my son, couldn't care less.I think the social aspect of AS is huge .. and much more debilitating in the work world than anything academic. Fortunately, as this world becomes more and more computer centric - I think many more jobs will be available that don't require the kind of social interaction that our kids find so difficult and therefore, there will be more and more options available to them ... PS - as a homeschooler - are you able to get any therapy for your ds? >> He is 7! And I love

that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says > "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!"Ã‚ but, here in the state of Va, we > have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up parkÃ‚ days,Ã‚ play dates, > field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, > baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.Ã‚ > Ã‚ TeamJakob> Support children with > Aspergers,> With your support their is > no limit to Jakob's success!! > > >

July 19, 2010

You might find that it will get harder the older your son gets as far as surrounding yourself with children who understand. Around 4th grade, things start to change. There might be kids who tolerate, but tolerating is different than being a friend. My son wants to connect and have friends so bad and it's a real challenge for him. You even see the kids who have compassion for him and his situation, but having compassion is different than picking up the phone and inviting him over to play video games or hang out. It's very sad. My son does have a couple of boys who came to his birthday party (he just turned 14 and we only invited two) and that was a huge relief b/c I didn't know if they would come.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: <teamjakob06@...> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:51:13 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

He is high functioning with a high IQ, I will know more about all that on the 19th when we go for his new evaluation. But, I do not let Aspergers hinder him. He use to never talked to anyone or play with anyone, I mean like last year, but because I have put him in these situations and helped him control himself, he is learning to deal. BUT, we still have screaming fits and a bossiness problem, but it is a work in progress. Children whom we are around are very understanding and even some of them have aspergers too as well as other disabilities. Its all about who you surround yourself and your child with as well as people understanding and acceptance. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:21:06 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I get the socializtion is a non-issue for nt homeschoolers, but I am perplexed on how to do it for kids with any type of issue like asperger's. My son would never do well in group sports like what you mentioned, so your son must be very high functioning?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 7:09 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!" but, here in the state of Va, we have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up park days, play dates, field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:00:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

July 19, 2010

Have you all tried to get together with other families who have children with Asperger's syndrome for play dates? One of his friend doesn't tolerate him well, but plays with him because he wasn't given the option not to and after a while they learned to figure each other out to the point that that child now asks to come play with him and looks forward to sleep overs. It is very apparent that every child is different, but I think that if we allow our children to feel so different and to be isolated then that is what they will want because it is easier. I just refuse to let him believe that he can not do whatever his heart desires and that includes making friends. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 9:04:39 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

You might find that it will get harder the older your son gets as far as surrounding yourself with children who understand. Around 4th grade, things start to change. There might be kids who tolerate, but tolerating is different than being a friend. My son wants to connect and have friends so bad and it's a real challenge for him. You even see the kids who have compassion for him and his situation, but having compassion is different than picking up the phone and inviting him over to play video games or hang out. It's very sad. My son does have a couple of boys who came to his birthday party (he just turned 14 and we only invited two) and that was a huge relief b/c I didn't know if they would come.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: <teamjakob06> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:51:13 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

He is high functioning with a high IQ, I will know more about all that on the 19th when we go for his new evaluation. But, I do not let Aspergers hinder him. He use to never talked to anyone or play with anyone, I mean like last year, but because I have put him in these situations and helped him control himself, he is learning to deal. BUT, we still have screaming fits and a bossiness problem, but it is a work in progress. Children whom we are around are very understanding and even some of them have aspergers too as well as other disabilities. Its all about who you surround yourself and your child with as well as people understanding and acceptance. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:21:06 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I get the socializtion is a non-issue for nt homeschoolers, but I am perplexed on how to do it for kids with any type of issue like asperger's. My son would never do well in group sports like what you mentioned, so your son must be very high functioning?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 7:09 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!" but, here in the state of Va, we have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up park days, play dates, field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:00:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

July 20, 2010

Just a thought...

....at no other point in their lives after the school years will any person subsequently be put into a room with 30 other peers all exactly their age - the workplace is full of peers of position eg management grades, admin grades, techie grades etc depending on the field but the ages of the peers is irrelevant. So what is the point of forcing age-peers to interact??? So long as children - any children - have a broad and rich experience of relationships with "people" including children and adults, they are learning to make and keep friends. My dd (9) has friends and social interaction opportunities with ages stretching from 0 to 96, literally. School is an artificial environment and although it is a great way for children to make friends of their "own age" at no other point in their life does this exact age match with friendships "matter". With the exception of old school mates (ie the same age by extension of the fact you were at school together) how many of you adults have solely close friends of the precise age (to within less than a year) as yourselves?

Life outside of the school years just doesn't work like that so within the homeschooling world relationships reflect the realities of life - a broad mix of children of all ages socially interacting where opportunities are provided. Once a week we interact with over 100 other children at a get-together but the age range is 0-18 with all the vibrancy and diversity that that means and they all studying different things, enjoy a huge variety of hobbies and value each other immensely. I see this as a far more "real world" way of teaching dd social interaction skills but on her terms and in a way that will last her for the rest of her life. During the week we meet with some of these families - but the children learn to play and interact across the full age range even then and whilst particular friendships are formed which are often based within a similar age range, it is an age range of 3-4 years not just 12 months and is based on other commonalties like hobbies, particular interests etc. I care to bet that most people on here are not with a partner they went to school with who was in the same class or even class year??? Had my husband and I been at the same school, we would not have been in the same grade because of our age difference so it is not likely we would have been friends at that time in our lives anyway.

Just thought I would add this to the discussion as it is a point that usually gets overlooked in the whole socialisation debate when people talk about home-schooling. My dd does so much better with a variety of successful interactions spread through a week than the constant bombardment of "in your face" socialisation forced by the classroom setting where she has to continually perform to an acceptable, pre-set standard that is just too much pressure.

a

From: bkaspiemom

Sent: Tuesday, July 20, 2010 1:03 AM

Subject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I don't understand the answer - "he is 7!"Is that too young to socialize?It's a huge part of the school system in nyc from the start of prek; Kids are expected to play together, to team up on projects and compete with and against each other ... My son has been in mainstream schools through 3rd grade but was starting to sit out of group projects and it was problematic. Though he was learning - he wasn't letting anyone in on what he knew and the teacher - in a class of 29 kids - wasn't able to draw it out of him. He'll be moving to a special ed class of 12 kids at a new school in the fall and I hope that along with the traditional academics which he does quite well - he will also learn the skills associated with social play which will ultimately help him become a productive citizen when he grows up and gets a job...He attends a mainstream camp right now and though he's satisfied with the experience, his expectations are low. He doesn't really make friends .. there are kids he talks to - but he doesn't get phone numbers, there are no out of camp get togethers and we won't see these kids outside of this experience.... and my son, couldn't care less.I think the social aspect of AS is huge .. and much more debilitating in the work world than anything academic. Fortunately, as this world becomes more and more computer centric - I think many more jobs will be available that don't require the kind of social interaction that our kids find so difficult and therefore, there will be more and more options available to them ... PS - as a homeschooler - are you able to get any therapy for your ds? >> He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says > "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!"Â but, here in the state of Va, we > have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up parkÂ days,Â play dates, > field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, > baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.Â > Â TeamJakob> Support children with > Aspergers,> With your support their is > no limit to Jakob's success!! > > >

July 20, 2010

Yes, yes...so true! When my son was little ...he would play with eveyone. In 1st grade, he had several friends. Then came 3rd and then 4th...and the friends started to drop. By 6th grade he was down to 2 or 3. It is hard as a parent to see your child lonely and wanting kids to be his/her friend. But, as I told my son....it is best to have one GREAT friend then zillions of so-called friends. That is all your child needs ...one Great friend.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 9:04:39 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

You might find that it will get harder the older your son gets as far as surrounding yourself with children who understand. Around 4th grade, things start to change. There might be kids who tolerate, but tolerating is different than being a friend. My son wants to connect and have friends so bad and it's a real challenge for him. You even see the kids who have compassion for him and his situation, but having compassion is different than picking up the phone and inviting him over to play video games or hang out. It's very sad. My son does have a couple of boys who came to his birthday party (he just turned 14 and we only invited two) and that was a huge relief b/c I didn't know if they would come.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: <teamjakob06> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:51:13 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

He is high functioning with a high IQ, I will know more about all that on the 19th when we go for his new evaluation. But, I do not let Aspergers hinder him. He use to never talked to anyone or play with anyone, I mean like last year, but because I have put him in these situations and helped him control himself, he is learning to deal. BUT, we still have screaming fits and a bossiness problem, but it is a work in progress. Children whom we are around are very understanding and even some of them have aspergers too as well as other disabilities. Its all about who you surround yourself and your child with as well as people understanding and acceptance. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:21:06 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I get the socializtion is a non-issue for nt homeschoolers, but I am perplexed on how to do it for kids with any type of issue like asperger's. My son would never do well in group sports like what you mentioned, so your son must be very high functioning?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 7:09 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!" but, here in the state of Va, we have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up park days, play dates, field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:00:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

July 20, 2010

Ya know, Jan? I love what you said, but I think of Ian, 14, and am confused at what to feel for him.

He is totally okay without anyone He talks to us, to people when we go out. He'll play with whoever will accept him over at the pool..............he does incredibly well with adults.

BUt,,,,no friends. No coming over. No calls.

I've asked him if he wanted to give Matt a call before he headed to the pool. He struggled a bit and said to me, "Why? If he's there, we'll hang out. But if not, I'm good.....I like being alone".

Sigh.

I, personally want him to have a friend sooo badly. BUt, he's okay. He's not lonely. He deals with others and will actually play if it's "there" but doesn't feel a loss by not having a friend to call. He rides his bike, goes to the library, is not on the computer all day like he was years ago...........he's just very okay with doing what HE wants to do.

He is excited about putting out applications for some fast food places that will hire at 14 and says, "I'll probably meet lots of people when I start working"................

It's more my problem, I think. he he. But I AM glad that he's not lonely or wishing he had more people in his life..........ugh.

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.....protect everything.

Robin

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in

America. It will not be a special college either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot

of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

July 20, 2010

When your child is 14, arranging play dates with families doesn't work. My son is functioning at a level that would make something like that seem really awkward. Sounds like a good idea for younger kids, though. And I hope I'm not sounding like a debbie-downer here. I think it's great what you are doing for your son. It's a different social world at the age of 7 than it is at the age of 14. That's all I'm pointing out. My son feels different, but he doesn't dislike himself. I think that's the most important part. My son will not just hang out with any kid, either. He's particular about who he wants to hang out with which makes things more difficult because it really narrows the pool. But I'm not going to talk him into hanging out with someone he's not interested in just to "hang out." That makes no sense to him in the first place b/c if

he's not interested in the kid, why would he hang out with him? That's his point of view, at least.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: <teamjakob06@...> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 9:06:09 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

Have you all tried to get together with other families who have children with Asperger's syndrome for play dates? One of his friend doesn't tolerate him well, but plays with him because he wasn't given the option not to and after a while they learned to figure each other out to the point that that child now asks to come play with him and looks forward to sleep overs. It is very apparent that every child is different, but I think that if we allow our children to feel so different and to be isolated then that is what they will want because it is easier. I just refuse to let him believe that he can not do whatever his heart desires and that includes making friends. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 9:04:39 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

You might find that it will get harder the older your son gets as far as surrounding yourself with children who understand. Around 4th grade, things start to change. There might be kids who tolerate, but tolerating is different than being a friend. My son wants to connect and have friends so bad and it's a real challenge for him. You even see the kids who have compassion for him and his situation, but having compassion is different than picking up the phone and inviting him over to play video games or hang out. It's very sad. My son does have a couple of boys who came to his birthday party (he just turned 14 and we only invited two) and that was a huge relief b/c I didn't know if they would come.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: <teamjakob06> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:51:13 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

He is high functioning with a high IQ, I will know more about all that on the 19th when we go for his new evaluation. But, I do not let Aspergers hinder him. He use to never talked to anyone or play with anyone, I mean like last year, but because I have put him in these situations and helped him control himself, he is learning to deal. BUT, we still have screaming fits and a bossiness problem, but it is a work in progress. Children whom we are around are very understanding and even some of them have aspergers too as well as other disabilities. Its all about who you surround yourself and your child with as well as people understanding and acceptance. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:21:06 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I get the socializtion is a non-issue for nt homeschoolers, but I am perplexed on how to do it for kids with any type of issue like asperger's. My son would never do well in group sports like what you mentioned, so your son must be very high functioning?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 7:09 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!" but, here in the state of Va, we have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up park days, play dates, field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:00:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

July 20, 2010

I think it is a good thing to remain positive about things as is,

however as the child gets older we parents do adjust our hopes and dreams

according to what happens..Shirley's experiences are similar to most Aspies

experiences. As they get older, you can't arrange friends for them. Maybe they

will find one, maybe not and they give up trying after awhile. I am raising my

son's daughter and she seems to be a classic Asperger's child. She has poor

social skills etc. As I look back, her father (my son) probably had AS also, but

it didn't exist then as a diagnosis. He compensated with substance abuse and

eventually died. Her mother is definitely AS but is undiagnosed, and lost in the

chaos of drug use, too. I think that at least now we have some knowledge of this

condition and maybe we can find some ways to help them find a more useful life.

My " daughter " would like to have a friend, but she really isn't comfortable with

the girls her age who twitter and moan over boys. I don't know what is in her

future and I am scared, but we have to try and hopefully now that we understand

it a little better, we can find some ways to help them find themselves. My point

is, we have made some progress in the past 40 years just by diagnosing the

condition. But we have a long way to go to find the answers. We are forging the

way and it isn't going to be a snap.But who else will do it?