Re: The future of our children

[Guest guest]

...do you realize that most children with AS have other dx's too. My son was originally dx with ADHD. He has anxiety and sensory issues that can keep him at home for a week or more...He is very ADD and has learning disabilities. He is on small doses of medications and has learned when he needs his anxiety medicine. He has come a LONG LONG way...he just finished 8th grade and matured and grown by leaps and bounds...he is about 6' tall now...no longer my little boy but a "young" man. He has his moments and his issues....but he will pervail...and he is the greatest kid in my eyes. He never leaves in the morning (even if we just argued) withouth saying "Bye Mom...I LoVE you". He is 14 and tries to be "cool" like his friends....and he is cool...but never never too cool to leave without saying the 3 most important words..."I LOVE YOU". And, this never ceases to

amaze me...a teenager (14) who truly from the heart says "I LOVE YOU" ...and we have just had the most horrible "teen" argument. Wow ...I am truly blessed.

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: <teamjakob06@...> Sent: Wed, July 21, 2010 8:34:44 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

Thanks! I have to add, that Jakob is not just dealing with Apergers, but also ADHD, Anxiety, Bi-polar {yes, they have already diagnosed him at 6, he is now 7}, some OCD involving fixations on Dinosaurs which has now been changed to animals and insects. But still somehow he manages to talk to just about everyone and anyone who will listen to what he has to say. He too has people he knows from 0- 96, I don't know if I would call them friends of his or not, and as I have been thinking about this, I realized that Jakob either tends to hang out with children younger than them as long as they aren't babified {his terms of course} and children older than him 12 or 13 years old. Strangely the age of these children never really occurred to me until yesterday. But, still these children are all very compassionate and caring. We do not have friend who is not so much caring and affectionate, but still even he manages to accept him for now

anyways. My biggest thing is that I read these posts everyday and yes maybe I am crazy but I just refuse to let this be the only way for my child. Someone has to set the bar and I'll let you all know how it turns out. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: Pamela <susanonderko> Sent: Tue, July 20, 2010 11:51:47 AMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

Dear , with very young children we need to keep our vision for the future very hopeful and optimistic. I know when my daughter was younger I would have felt very fearful to readabout some of the young teen and adult problems. There are some very good books such as Temple Grandin's book about her childhood and struggling with autism and anxiety. She gives good insight into all the people that helpedshape her behaviors and her career. She gives hope to parents. Also we need to be aware if our young teen still can'tcontrol there emotions, regulate their sleep, stay engagedwith others, be polite, interact with others somewhat at least in a work/school setting approriately or manage a full day of interactions ... we need to have a plan. I really feel sad for the young adults that have retreatedinto their bedrooms, don't have a job and the parents feelhopeless. I hope we

can share information on young adult services andtheir problems without affecting parent's of young childrenhope for their children's future. We can help each otherand help improve our children's futures. Pam >> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college either, it may very well be

Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP

YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

[Guest guest]

That's awesome!!!!! Gotta love em. he he.

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.....protect everything.

Robin

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college either, it

may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL

YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

[Guest guest]

Bingo!!!!!!!!

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.....protect everything.

Robin

From: rushen janice <jrushen@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children Date: Wednesday, July 21, 2010, 2:44 AM

And, you know what, maybe that is an advantage. It is us parents who are more hurt by it then the child ...or at least your child. If a child is content and happy as he or she is ...I don't see why the need to push the issue. On the other hand, if the child wants and needs friends...that is a totally different story.

I have worked with a girl in school who could care less about having friends. She was not even really aware of how others thought about her or looked at her when she was having melt downs or skipping in the lunchroom at the age of 17. She was generally very happy and very busy reading and talking about her animals. She was at school for the most part very happy.

On the other hand....there is my son who wants friends ...enjoys the company of others. He is maturing and learning and has made a few friends over the years. Our phone does not ring off the hook...but I have told him it is more important to have one or two good friends who you can count on than 100 so-called friends. He has been on the roller coaster ride...he has gone thru some tough times especially in 6th grade...but he has matured...and is learning slowly. I am sure we have a long road ahead...but I can say...there is light at the end of the tunnel...it may be dim...but it is there and I will never give up hope. And, as others have said...the most important thing for me...and for him...is his happiness and his ability to take care of himself in the future. If he attends college ...then good...if he doesn't...then we will deal with that when the time comes. And, I too am

learning...getting all A's and being #1 in the class is not everything in life....being able to take care of oneself, to act appropriately and to be able to socialize at least a little bit...is so much more important than being #1 in the class.

If my son ends up being a "sanitation person" or a "janitor" or a "computer programmmer" or "salesperson" ....all I want is for him to be able to take care of himself and that he is "happy". He has no brothers or sisters ...so my main concern would be that he can survive on his own or to be situated so that he can survive after we are gone.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: laura6307 <laura6307 (DOT) com> Sent: Wed, July 21, 2010 2:21:34 AMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I homeschool my 12 year old with two other siblings and little rugrat who enlivens our life and will be homeschooling in another year. I can't say enough positive things about schooling kids at home. However, I have to say, that there has been a change over the years for me in regards to what I expect out of my son. No longer do I care about college. I honestly care if he will be happy. Kids with high functioning autism/aspergers are at risk for suicide.My son has countless opportunities for socialization. Most often, he picks reading a book. If you ask him, however, he is content because he has a couple of kids that he thinks of as friends. What he thinks is not reality (other than one child who is 8 years old and also autistic). I know this because I see how my other three children are developing. I see how their friends interact with them. With my son with autism, it is one way. He does not genuinely care about these other kids - they are

like game pieces to him - great if he can get them to do what he wants - and insignificant if they don't. While he treats kids who won't do what he wants with indifference, he still thinks they are his friends.....>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

[Guest guest]

Yep. I remember when my goals for my son changed in their order.

It was 5th grade and he started to emotionally go to crap.

He started being more upset that he didn't fit. He started to get mad that they wouldn't let him play on the playground when he wanted to. They said that he sucked at kickball or whatever it was at the time.

He was mad that the schoolwork bored him.

He hated being told to write a paper on how the Pilgrims felt.........

He just got sad. It was horrible.

I rearranged my "goals" from getting him to fit....to.......helping him be happy.

I wondered if he would sink into a depression and God-forbid, kill himself someday. He being happy became my only goal.

I didn't care anymore about him fitting. About him learning to look people in the eye. I just didn't.

Now,,,,,,,,don't get me wrong, I did want him to fit and still do.......but for us, when I yanked him out of school, which was the reason for the emotions, and when I let up with the "working on making him "better"",,,,,he got better. No,,,not cured. But,,,the pressure was off him and he felt it. We all did.

So,,,I'm with you, Jan....and the others............happiness and being okay with yourself is the biggie. And really, it's what most NT's stuggle with, right? The "normal" kids are the ones not okay with themselves as much as we'd think.

Hmmm........(I'm off on a roll again and can't find my way back. Too much coffee today)

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.....protect everything.

Robin

From: rushen janice <jrushen@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children Date: Wednesday, July 21, 2010, 3:36 AM

I really don't think any of us are hindering our kids and we are all wanting the same thing for all our children.... .but in all honesty....I really don't care what my son does...as long as he is happy....and can contribute to the best of his ability to society. And it is what I would want for every child in this world.

Aspergers is in the Autism family and it is a spectrum. Children with AS vary so greatly. There will be some who won't be able to work and fully support themselves and then there will be those that can. But, that is so with all children whether they have AS or not. As parents we all want the very best for our children.... but I have learned that my dreams and my goals and wishes for my child may not be reality....of course I will never stop enabling him or aiding him towards any goal he wishes. But whatever he does in the future....I will be happy with as long as he is Happy and pleased with what he is doing.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: sandee <jcullitoncfl (DOT) rr.com> Sent: Tue, July 20, 2010 10:35:22 AMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I think it is a good thing to remain positive about things as is, however as the child gets older we parents do adjust our hopes and dreams according to what happens..Shirley' s experiences are similar to most Aspies experiences. As they get older, you can't arrange friends for them. Maybe they will find one, maybe not and they give up trying after awhile. I am raising my son's daughter and she seems to be a classic Asperger's child. She has poor social skills etc. As I look back, her father (my son) probably had AS also, but it didn't exist then as a diagnosis. He compensated with substance abuse and eventually died. Her mother is definitely AS but is undiagnosed, and lost in the chaos of drug use, too. I think that at least now we have some knowledge of this condition and maybe we can find some ways to help them find a more useful life. My "daughter" would like to have a friend, but she really isn't comfortable with the girls her age who

twitter and moan over boys. I don't know what is in her future and I am scared, but we have to try and hopefully now that we understand it a little better, we can find some ways to help them find themselves. My point is, we have made some progress in the past 40 years just by diagnosing the condition. But we have a long way to go to find the answers. We are forging the way and it isn't going to be a snap.But who else will do it?>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn

much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > >

We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I'm new to the group.

My son son will turn 8 years old the beginning of August and going into second grade-public school. I joined the group because unfortunately I don;t know of any other parents of children with A.S. was diagnosed about 2 yrs ago(although I notice something was different at 2 and a half) with Aspergers, adhd/anxiety and dysproxia. At the time he was attending a Catholic school, which as soon as the neurologist diagnosed him they promptly said they could not / would not service him.. I now realize this may have been a blessing.

Like i mentioned is almost 8yr old and when given the choice would rather play with children a year or two younger or play by himself -love the computer and movies. HE is perfectly fine with this but I worry when he gets older what will happen. We have signed him up for several activities such as karate, swimming and soccer, he will complete the season or the class but then doesn't care to do it again.

This is one of my questions, in other peoples experiences is it best to continue to sign him up for activities for the social aspect of it, knowing he doesn't completely enjoy it. My other question is does anyone else have a son/daughter this age and if so, do they "get stuck" playing with certain things. My son has played with the tank engine toys for the past 4 years, can tell you anything and everything about them (also has this knowledge about dinosaurs. My question is: should i start removing the items as he's getting a bit too old for them (my opinion) or let him be as it almost seems like they are his comfort zone.

I should add that his father and i have recently separated, and myself stayed in the house and dad got his own place.

I look forward to reading your opinions!

From: <teamjakob06@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children Date: Wednesday, July 21, 2010, 12:34 PM

Thanks! I have to add, that Jakob is not just dealing with Apergers, but also ADHD, Anxiety, Bi-polar {yes, they have already diagnosed him at 6, he is now 7}, some OCD involving fixations on Dinosaurs which has now been changed to animals and insects. But still somehow he manages to talk to just about everyone and anyone who will listen to what he has to say. He too has people he knows from 0- 96, I don't know if I would call them friends of his or not, and as I have been thinking about this, I realized that Jakob either tends to hang out with children younger than them as long as they aren't babified {his terms of course} and children older than him 12 or 13 years old. Strangely the age of these children never really occurred to me until yesterday. But, still these children are all very compassionate and caring. We do not have friend who is not so much caring and affectionate, but still even he manages to accept him for now

anyways. My biggest thing is that I read these posts everyday and yes maybe I am crazy but I just refuse to let this be the only way for my child. Someone has to set the bar and I'll let you all know how it turns out. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: Pamela <susanonderko> Sent: Tue, July 20, 2010 11:51:47 AMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

Dear , with very young children we need to keep our vision for the future very hopeful and optimistic. I know when my daughter was younger I would have felt very fearful to readabout some of the young teen and adult problems. There are some very good books such as Temple Grandin's book about her childhood and struggling with autism and anxiety. She gives good insight into all the people that helpedshape her behaviors and her career. She gives hope to parents. Also we need to be aware if our young teen still can'tcontrol there emotions, regulate their sleep, stay engagedwith others, be polite, interact with others somewhat at least in a work/school setting approriately or manage a full day of interactions ... we need to have a plan. I really feel sad for the young adults that have retreatedinto their bedrooms, don't have a job and the parents feelhopeless. I hope

we can share information on young adult services andtheir problems without affecting parent's of young childrenhope for their children's future. We can help each otherand help improve our children's futures. Pam >> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

[Guest guest]



I am not an expert, but I signed my daughter up for many things and tried. Now, at 15 she just refuses mostly, but at least she has had some experiences. Often though, she only made one day or less. Sometimes the whole week. We could afford to take the chance, but it is risky if you can't afford it.. Life's a game of roulette at this point..

I also say, let him keep the toys. Especially since he is having the divorce change. That is big and he will need security.

( ) Re: The future of our children

Dear , with very young children we need to keep our vision for the future very hopeful and optimistic. I know when my daughter was younger I would have felt very fearful to readabout some of the young teen and adult problems. There are some very good books such as Temple Grandin's book about her childhood and struggling with autism and anxiety. She gives good insight into all the people that helpedshape her behaviors and her career. She gives hope to parents. Also we need to be aware if our young teen still can'tcontrol there emotions, regulate their sleep, stay engagedwith others, be polite, interact with others somewhat at least in a work/school setting approriately or manage a full day of interactions ... we need to have a plan. I really feel sad for the young adults that have retreatedinto their bedrooms, don't have a job and the parents feelhopeless. I hope we can share information on young adult services andtheir problems without affecting parent's of young childrenhope for their children's future. We can help each otherand help improve our children's futures. Pam >> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

[Guest guest]

Jan, you just described by daughter's situation. The older she got, the more the friends dropped away. But she has two pretty good ones (both boys) so I guess that's all she needs From: jrushen@...Date: Tue, 20 Jul 2010 01:46:43 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

Yes, yes...so true! When my son was little ...he would play with eveyone. In 1st grade, he had several friends. Then came 3rd and then 4th...and the friends started to drop. By 6th grade he was down to 2 or 3. It is hard as a parent to see your child lonely and wanting kids to be his/her friend. But, as I told my son....it is best to have one GREAT friend then zillions of so-called friends. That is all your child needs ...one Great friend.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: MacAllister <smacalli > Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 9:04:39 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

You might find that it will get harder the older your son gets as far as surrounding yourself with children who understand. Around 4th grade, things start to change. There might be kids who tolerate, but tolerating is different than being a friend. My son wants to connect and have friends so bad and it's a real challenge for him. You even see the kids who have compassion for him and his situation, but having compassion is different than picking up the phone and inviting him over to play video games or hang out. It's very sad. My son does have a couple of boys who came to his birthday party (he just turned 14 and we only invited two) and that was a huge relief b/c I didn't know if they would come.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: <teamjakob06> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:51:13 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

He is high functioning with a high IQ, I will know more about all that on the 19th when we go for his new evaluation. But, I do not let Aspergers hinder him. He use to never talked to anyone or play with anyone, I mean like last year, but because I have put him in these situations and helped him control himself, he is learning to deal. BUT, we still have screaming fits and a bossiness problem, but it is a work in progress. Children whom we are around are very understanding and even some of them have aspergers too as well as other disabilities. Its all about who you surround yourself and your child with as well as people understanding and acceptance. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:21:06 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I get the socializtion is a non-issue for nt homeschoolers, but I am perplexed on how to do it for kids with any type of issue like asperger's. My son would never do well in group sports like what you mentioned, so your son must be very high functioning?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 7:09 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!" but, here in the state of Va, we have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up park days, play dates, field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:00:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.

[Guest guest]

yes...one or two good friends is enough....and when you think about it...how many of us stayed close friends with out high school classmates?

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Barbara Pinckney <b-pinckney@...>Aspergers Treatment Sent: Fri, July 23, 2010 4:21:31 PMSubject: RE: ( ) Re: The future of our children

Jan, you just described by daughter's situation. The older she got, the more the friends dropped away. But she has two pretty good ones (both boys) so I guess that's all she needs

From: jrushen (DOT) comDate: Tue, 20 Jul 2010 01:46:43 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

Yes, yes...so true! When my son was little ...he would play with eveyone. In 1st grade, he had several friends. Then came 3rd and then 4th...and the friends started to drop. By 6th grade he was down to 2 or 3. It is hard as a parent to see your child lonely and wanting kids to be his/her friend. But, as I told my son....it is best to have one GREAT friend then zillions of so-called friends. That is all your child needs ...one Great friend.

Jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 9:04:39 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

You might find that it will get harder the older your son gets as far as surrounding yourself with children who understand. Around 4th grade, things start to change. There might be kids who tolerate, but tolerating is different than being a friend. My son wants to connect and have friends so bad and it's a real challenge for him. You even see the kids who have compassion for him and his situation, but having compassion is different than picking up the phone and inviting him over to play video games or hang out. It's very sad. My son does have a couple of boys who came to his birthday party (he just turned 14 and we only invited two) and that was a huge relief b/c I didn't know if they would come.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: <teamjakob06> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:51:13 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

He is high functioning with a high IQ, I will know more about all that on the 19th when we go for his new evaluation. But, I do not let Aspergers hinder him. He use to never talked to anyone or play with anyone, I mean like last year, but because I have put him in these situations and helped him control himself, he is learning to deal. BUT, we still have screaming fits and a bossiness problem, but it is a work in progress. Children whom we are around are very understanding and even some of them have aspergers too as well as other disabilities. Its all about who you surround yourself and your child with as well as people understanding and acceptance. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:21:06 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children I get the socializtion is a non-issue for nt homeschoolers, but I am perplexed on how to do it for kids with any type of issue like asperger's. My son would never do well in group sports like what you mentioned, so your son must be very high functioning?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 7:09 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

He is 7! And I love that question so much I purchased a bumper stinker that says "CAUTION UNSOCIALIZED HOMESCHOOLER ON BOARD!" but, here in the state of Va, we have serveral group such as HEAV and REACH that set up park days, play dates, field trip etc.. Plus I put Jakob in outside activities such as Taekwondo, baseball, etc.. and being involved in church and other groups is also helpful.

TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 7:00:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children

What age is your child you homeschool? How do you tackle the socializing issues, btw?

On Mon, Jul 19, 2010 at 6:53 PM, <teamjakob06> wrote:

I live in Spotsylvania Va. I have not looked in to due processing as I homeschool now. I know the public school system here are terrible that is one reason why I choose to homeschool. But, the RACSB is excellent for children and on into adulthood if need be. TeamJakobSupport children with Aspergers,With your support their is no limit to Jakob's success!!

From: <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Mon, July 19, 2010 5:50:21 PMSubject: ( ) Re: The future of our children I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.

[Guest guest]

I don't get what you mean when you say you don't "let" AS hinder him. It almost seems like you think a good attitude from you cures autism or any problems that come up. But that is not true at all. I'd love to say I didn't "let" autism do anything to my kids. But I was obviously off drinking martini's when autism called that meeting and discussed whether it was taking over. lol.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.

>

> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much.

>

> We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm like you about counting how many birthday parties my ds has been invited to. Actually, I don't have to know how to count since it's zero. And he has been in the same school since his first day of pre-k. Same kids, same community. That has not made a lot of difference. Some kids went out of their way to be nice to him but it seemed this was more to do with them realizing he had a problem. Or perhaps they were encouraged to do so or really nice kids. Still, it never parlayed into phone calls, friendships and birthday parties.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.

>

> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much.

>

> We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

LOL, Jan. Too funny!

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.

>

> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college either, it

may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much.

>

> We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL

YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, Roxanna, I guess that makes me feel better in a really sad way! (knowing your son lived in the same community with the same peers throughout his life)Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...>Sender: Date: Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:02:54 -0400< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Re: The future of our children I'm like you about counting how many birthday parties my ds has been invited to. Actually, I don't have to know how to count since it's zero. And he has been in the same school since his first day of pre-k. Same kids, same community. That has not made a lot of difference. Some kids went out of their way to be nice to him but it seemed this was more to do with them realizing he had a problem. Or perhaps they were encouraged to do so or really nice kids. Still, it never parlayed into phone calls, friendships and birthday parties. RoxannaWhenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. ( ) Re: The future of our children I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.>> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special collegeeither, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much. > > We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOLSYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar! > > >

[Guest guest]

I doubt you could say it put them back a whole year. Especially for kids who are already severely behind in social skills to begin with. But your point that putting them into situations they are not prepared to handle could be a bad idea. But I don't agree that you should wait for their signal to go ahead and ask them how they want it to go down. Social skills should be taught, just like we teach NT kids how to read or do math. Our kids need to learn how social situations work, what to say, how to make and keep friendships, how to get along with people they don't like, how to figure out what is going on around them, how to work with people, how to be around people, etc. These are the skills that do not naturally develop in these kids. Meanwhile, the NT kids naturally pick up social cues and skills and have become very good at many of these skills before they even hit school age. So waiting around would not be a good idea.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.

>

> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college either, it

may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much.

>

> We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO TELL

YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

good, don't want you to think you have screwed up somewhere along the way. Most of the time, we do the best we can. It's tempting to look back and say, "I should have...." I do that myself a lot. lol. But being in the same place all these years has not given us any advantage, unfortunately. It might make a difference for someone else, though. We don't live by any family, so that might help as well. I've always wondered...

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: The future of our children

I am also in virginia and we had an attorney tell us that next to Texas, Va is the worst stste to get a fair due process hearing. Atty said rulings always go for the school as the system is set up that way. Sickening. What part of Va are you in? In in Northern Va.

>

> Lately I have been reading some of the posts on here and thinking a lot about my child's future. I have NO doubt in my mind that my son will be a productive, sucessful citizen. I homeschool him and we get very indepth with certain subjects. He can learn much better than at a private or public school and the resources are endless. He is 7 now and when he graduates he will attend college like every other child in America. It will not be a special college

either, it may very well be Washington University as it is in our city of Fredericksburg. I know that one day he too will have a family and I look forward to having grandchildren. Not one time have I ever thought that he would be a stock boy at Walmart or the service guy at our local Exxon, Shell, Wawa, etc.. Not one time have I thought that he would never amount to much or ever let him think that. Never ever have I thought of his disability as a bad thing. There is greatness in all these children and our job is to guide them to become greatness! Sometimes I think that we tend to hinder our children more than their disability by setting the bar so low that they believe thenselves that they can't do anything or won't amount to much.

>

> We used to live in Georgia and they had very little resources to help, so I moved to Virginia, where I was born and my parents were raised. Here there is a lot of help, BUT DON'T RELY ON THE SCHOOL

SYSTEM TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT OR HELP YOU GET IT! You have to do your home work as I have read that many of you have and you have to know, have to have faith, and have to believe that God blessed you with this special child for a reason! The road is less traveled, tiring, and we all feel that we are treading on broken glass barefoot, but we all choose to be parents even though God choose us to be parents of Aspie children, again for a reason! If you stop clipping their wings and allow them to fly, who knows how high they will soar!

>

>

>