Guest guest Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 ok- here's a not practical, but very emotional question. CAN ANYONE RELATE TO THE FOLLOWING FEELING: my son is 4, diagnosed with aspergers 15 months ago. recently i was looking at old photos and videos which i havent done in a while. there was a video of my son when he was just 2, talking animatedly to the camera and even hugging his doll. I had a meltdown. my husband couldnt understand, he said 'he's different, all kids grow up, they're allways less cute at 4 then at 2' but he didtn see what i saw. i saw a kid who's pervasive disorder had not yet fully taken over and i saw a glimps of a child, my child, that i feel i have lost. in that video i saw a small boy who could still love and feel, and LAUGH. he was laughing, so freely. he bearly ever does that now. worse than the feelings themselves, was the realization I'm alone in feeling them and my husband thinks im crazy. does anyone understand? is it a mother thing? or have I really gone batty? I know he was born with what he has, but it takes time for these things to fully mature and i honestly think when he was younger he was less pluaged and just, lighter, freer, happier. i love my son - for who he his today- with all my heart. am i such a bad mother for missing the little boy who would giggle and smile? the boy that once in a while let me feel like a good mother? lately i feel less than a mother and more like a caregiver. please, if there's anyone out there to give me a virtual hug, ill take it. cuz im tryin here, but i feel really alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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