Re: Help with what to do when DS is in a explosive meltdown

[Guest guest]

First off until you can get things under control, I suggest to leave him alone--negative reinforcement--leave the area not giving him notice or attention. I would not suggest pinning him down as this will surely heighten his response. Also, the biggie is to keep your cool. Don't raise your voice to him. It will be hard, but worth it in the long run, trust me.

When he is calm talk to him and solicit his opinions about if he can feel the anger coming on--what are the signs he can recognize? If he is able to come up with any signs--praise him for that effort and then talk about what he can do to calm himself when he feels the signs happening to him. What has worked in the past? Can he or does he have a quiet place to go when he needs time alone and away from the noise?

Please read, " The Explosive Child " by Ross Greene, and " Lost at School " by same author. These books will help out so much with your son at home and at school.

I wonder if your son has sensory needs that aren't being addressed? My son loves deep physical pressure which can be accomplished many way-- Sometimes we roll him like a burrito in a blanket very tight and he loves it. Other times I roll a yoga ball on his back. My son also lays on the floor quite a bit as well as sometimes just flops himself on the floor. 

I suggest that after your son has an explosion give him some cooling off time and then talk to him in a quiet place in a  calm voice. Help him to identify what his triggers were first. He needs to be aware of them. Then see if you can move on to what could have been done to either prevent the trigger or even just manage the trigger. Don't get into the mode of just solving his problem. You have to get him to engage in the conversation and be empathetic to the problem that your son has. In the book, it's called inviting your child to help with a solution to his problem. It's all spelled out in the book very nicely, but there are steps to use. Very readable and you'll want to finish the book in one night as it really captures our kids so well. 

[Guest guest]

These are good ideas. The others you may try are:

1) make a schedule for an unexpected day off. I have figured

out parental controls on the computer and my daughter was

parceled out time on the computer yesterday for good

behavior. What set your son off? My daughter is set off by boredom,

fatigue (staying up to late), stress build up if she has had too

much on her mind too process. The more I structure the better.

2) Is the meltdown proceed by a request to do something

or get something from you? In this case you might

try making it more predictable when he gets what he wants

and then you can try to de-escalate the meltdown bu leaving

(as already said) or if you can't leave or he follows

you, you can say " I know you want to get this now and it is

stressing you ....but I know you can calm down and we can

find something else to do ....this strategy may take a

1000 times to reinforce but this is the kind of flexible

thinking you would like him to have ...(this is part of

emotional regulation skills that I am being taught to teach

my daughter).

3) Anti-depressants do reduce irritablity and outbursts

according to " Clinical treatment of autism " Dr. Hollander,

prozac and zoloft are the longest clinical studied. If you

start very very low on the dose and take a few weeks to a

month to see how each level of dose is managed, I think this

is a fairly safe strategy for trialling a med. At some

point kids suffer so much they do need medication to take

the edge off of all the obesssing and perservating and stress

build up. Some kids about 50% respond partially at least,

with the rest not responding or needing another type (according

to Dr. Hollander data).

Hope this is of some help.

Pam

>

> First off until you can get things under control, I suggest to leave him

> alone--negative reinforcement--leave the area not giving him notice or

> attention. I would not suggest pinning him down as this will surely heighten

> his response. Also, the biggie is to keep your cool. Don't raise your voice

> to him. It will be hard, but worth it in the long run, trust me.

>

> When he is calm talk to him and solicit his opinions about if he can feel

> the anger coming on--what are the signs he can recognize? If he is able to

> come up with any signs--praise him for that effort and then talk about what

> he can do to calm himself when he feels the signs happening to him. What has

> worked in the past? Can he or does he have a quiet place to go when he needs

> time alone and away from the noise?

>

> Please read, " The Explosive Child " by Ross Greene, and " Lost at School " by

> same author. These books will help out so much with your son at home and at

> school.

>

> I wonder if your son has sensory needs that aren't being addressed? My son

> loves deep physical pressure which can be accomplished many

> way-- Sometimes we roll him like a burrito in a blanket very tight and he

> loves it. Other times I roll a yoga ball on his back. My son also lays on

> the floor quite a bit as well as sometimes just flops himself on the floor.

>

> I suggest that after your son has an explosion give him some cooling off

> time and then talk to him in a quiet place in a calm voice. Help him to

> identify what his triggers were first. He needs to be aware of them. Then

> see if you can move on to what could have been done to either prevent the

> trigger or even just manage the trigger. Don't get into the mode of just

> solving his problem. You have to get him to engage in the conversation and

> be empathetic to the problem that your son has. In the book, it's called

> inviting your child to help with a solution to his problem. It's all spelled

> out in the book very nicely, but there are steps to use. Very readable and

> you'll want to finish the book in one night as it really captures our kids

> so well.

>