Re: Manipulation and overly trusting nature

April 24, 2010

My daughter, is an outcast in her class due to having AS and being

'wierd'. There is a girl who is from India and is seen as being different as

well. I found out yesterday, during a play date with her and her mom that a lot

of the parents in the class don't want their daughters to play at this girl's

house. They can play at their homes or at the school playground or at a park

close by. It is because they are are Indian and different. The school

community is all white except for maybe 3, out of 250 kids. For me, growing up

and living in San , CA til I was 28, I learned that everyone is from

different backgrounds and cultures and in fact the minority in my area was the

whites. My daughter and myself don't even notice these things, it is the norm.

When I moved here two years ago I found the all white school community as

unusual and something I had to adjust to. For me it lacks cultural differences

that are neat to learn about.

My daughter and this girl are friends. It is hard for my daughter to socialise

and initate contact but they like to be around each other. So in my situation

the only real safe friend has is someone else who is seen differently but

taught to respect everyone and not take advantage. I have been around her

mother many times and she is polite, respectful and interesting. What you have

to learn is to be around the parents and that teachs you everything you need to

know about their child. Children are mirrors of their parents, so if the parent

is selfcentered, disrespectful and not understand, keep your child from their

child.

I imagine everyone can give examples of good kids/good parents and bad kids/bad

parents. I think you would be in your right to keep your child from that other

child who is taking advantage and has an non understanding mom. If my child did

that to someone else, the instant I saw my child had a new 'toy', I would ask

where it came from, take it back to the parent and apologise to them for my

child's behaviour and have my child apologise as well. That is attrocious

behaviour! esp for a grown adult. Sorry I am sickened by her behaviour and the

boyfriend's response about 'retards'.

My child has AS and associates with children from the ME class. is not

retarded and neither are they. They are refered to as children with

exceptionalities. Every child is different and special, no matter if they are

different from the 'norm' or not. Those children are the most accepting

children in the school.

~BreAnn

>

> I understand this one, my son had this friend who kept asking him for toys,

video games, etc. My son gave him a few things, when I found out, I nicely asked

the boys' mother to return them, and she said no. I didn't like the values of

the mother or child, but hated to take away a friend from my son. Then this

child stopped talking to my son after stealing some video games (my son had said

he wasn't supposed to give them to him anymore), but the other reason was even

crueler - the mother's latest boyfriend doesn't want her son playing with

'retards'. I don't get shocked by anything anymore, but it still doesn't stop my

disgust and disappointment. It makes me sick to think my child has to deal with

people who don't appreciate him, but just use and abuse him. Anyone had problems

like thiss and how do you find 'nice' friends for your children?

> Thank you.

>

> Donna

>

April 24, 2010

Yes I have had problems like this. A mother from our girl scout troop

didn't want my daughter in the troop any more and she had

the nerve to out it in writing too. I was sure this mom must still

be emotionally a child herself. The girl scouts of america

backed us up but we decided to leave the troop.

I met a very very nice family through our church. The mother

has a child my daughter's age and a younger autistic son.

They have been good friends to us.

We spend a lot of time with cousins.

My daughter is in a special needs school and the parents

are very kid unfortunately everone lives so far apart.

But everyone is very kind.

Pam