Re: Teacher asked son to spend the night

[Guest guest]

My advice is to document in a letter just what your son said.

Explain how honest AS kids are and you believe him.

Be concrete you do not want this teacher to ever be alone with

your son. And last be prepared for them to act shocked and to

blame you for being overprotective or wierd. We had a number

of incidents in public school. You have to be concrete

what you want done differently and you need to be reasonable. I think

you are on the right track!

Best of luck,

Pam

>

> My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he could

spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no, and I

didn't think too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again. My son

insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the bus, gave

him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his house

sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher said

okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if he

could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I have

never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he is

24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me what

town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he has

never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given him a

hug. I am going to call the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice

anyone has to offer!

>

[Guest guest]

WOW I don't eve let my 9 year old son spend the night at my mom's house-the one and only time I have sleep with out him would be the time a gave birth to my 4 year old girl and that was just for 1 night I had to stay in the hospital as soon as I was taken home I called her and said "bring me my son"I don't trust a person that would invite a boy over when he doesn't even know you, the parent. A TEACHER should know better than that. Thats a big NO NO. I know every staff member in my son's school. EVERYONE down to the cleaning crew and cafeteria people.Catalina Valenzuela

Avon Independent Sales Representative

My store is open 24/7 at: www.youravon.com/catalinavalenzuela

Free Shipping Code: FSANYFrom: smmbcw <cliftonandshannon@...>Subject: ( ) Teacher asked son to spend the night Date: Wednesday, April 21, 2010, 6:11 PM

My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he could spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no, and I didn't think too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again. My son insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the bus, gave him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his house sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher said okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if he could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I have never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he is 24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me what town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he has never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given him a hug. I am going to

call the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice anyone has to offer!

[Guest guest]

This is creepy... but it reminds me of when my son kept asking the teachers to spend the night at OUR house.

( ) Re: Teacher asked son to spend the night

My advice is to document in a letter just what your son said.Explain how honest AS kids are and you believe him. Be concrete you do not want this teacher to ever be alone with your son. And last be prepared for them to act shocked and to blame you for being overprotective or wierd. We had a numberof incidents in public school. You have to be concretewhat you want done differently and you need to be reasonable. I thinkyou are on the right track! Best of luck,Pam >> My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he could spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no, and I didn't think too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again. My son insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the bus, gave him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his house sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher said okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if he could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I have never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he is 24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me what town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he has never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given him a hug. I am going to call the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice anyone has to offer!>

[Guest guest]

I'm glad you're going in to talk to the principal. Ick.

Doesn't matter how "with it" a teacher is with the kids.......they KNOW that this is uncalled for.

Creepy......disgusting, actually.

I keep thinking that there is an innocent side to this. There can't be. UNLESS,,,,,your son misunderstood? But,,,you mention things that he HAD to have been told by the teacher........so I'm bak to "ick".

How did the talk with the principal go?

Hugs to you.

Ahhhhh, Laughter................

Robin

From: Debra Balke <dlbalke@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Teacher asked son to spend the night Date: Thursday, April 22, 2010, 2:34 PM

This is creepy... but it reminds me of when my son kept asking the teachers to spend the night at OUR house.

( ) Re: Teacher asked son to spend the night

My advice is to document in a letter just what your son said.Explain how honest AS kids are and you believe him. Be concrete you do not want this teacher to ever be alone with your son. And last be prepared for them to act shocked and to blame you for being overprotective or wierd. We had a numberof incidents in public school. You have to be concretewhat you want done differently and you need to be reasonable. I thinkyou are on the right track! Best of luck,Pam >> My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he could spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no, and I didn't think

too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again. My son insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the bus, gave him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his house sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher said okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if he could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I have never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he is 24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me what town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he has never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given him a hug. I am going to call the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice anyone has to offer!>

[Guest guest]

So I called the Principal this morning and as soon as I told him what my son had

told me he kind of grunted (as if to say yeah right). I found out later last

night from my son that his paraprofessional was there when the man asked if he

could spend the night, so I asked to speak with his para. She said that she

remembers the conversation and they were all just joking. Then she preceded to

comment that my son takes everything literally. I wanted to scream, " DUH! " . He

knew all those details about the teacher because his para told him all about it.

I'm really worried about how my son is going to be treated now.

>

> My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he could

spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no, and I

didn't think too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again. My son

insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the bus, gave

him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his house

sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher said

okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if he

could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I have

never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he is

24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me what

town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he has

never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given him a

hug. I am going to call the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice

anyone has to offer!

>

[Guest guest]

I would definitely call the school. This sounds " creepy, " and, given the fact

that the teacher may know your son has AS, you never know. I'd rather be

cautious and then apologize for overreacting than risking something potentially

traumatic.

I'd also advise the principal talking to your child, without you there, but with

a 3rd party, so that there is no covering up or any suspicion that anyone is

" coaching " him to say those things.

Will be praying in the meantime!

Gladys

>

> From: smmbcw <cliftonandshannon@...>

> Subject: ( ) Teacher asked son to spend the night

>

> Date: Wednesday, April 21, 2010, 6:11 PM

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> My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he

could spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no,

and I didn't think too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again.

My son insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the

bus, gave him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his

house sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher

said okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if

he could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I

have never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he

is 24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me

what town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he

has never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given

him a hug. I am going to call

> the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice anyone has to offer!

>

[Guest guest]

What???? They were just joking? This is totally irresponsible and unprofessional and if you ask me, deserves to be taken up to the School Superintendent. Sounds like the principal couldn't care.

Please write down what the "para" said as well as what the "teacher" said. And go in.

What kind of a teacher/aide makes a joke about having a student sleep over?

Ugh.

This has nothing to do with your son "taking things literally". This has to do with adults in charge saying things that could land them in an investigation.

Hugs to you. Please keep us posted.

Ahhhhh, Laughter................

Robin

From: smmbcw <cliftonandshannon@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Teacher asked son to spend the night Date: Thursday, April 22, 2010, 8:57 PM

So I called the Principal this morning and as soon as I told him what my son had told me he kind of grunted (as if to say yeah right). I found out later last night from my son that his paraprofessional was there when the man asked if he could spend the night, so I asked to speak with his para. She said that she remembers the conversation and they were all just joking. Then she preceded to comment that my son takes everything literally. I wanted to scream, "DUH!". He knew all those details about the teacher because his para told him all about it. I'm really worried about how my son is going to be treated now. >> My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked

me if he could spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no, and I didn't think too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again. My son insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the bus, gave him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his house sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher said okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if he could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I have never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he is 24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me what town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he has never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given him a hug. I am going to call the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice anyone

has to offer!>

[Guest guest]

Maybe I am more paranoid than others in this situation. I would not have waited

until morning to call the principal. I would have called the police that

evening. Your son knows too much information about the teacher for this to be

just a casual talking to a student on campus. To me this teacher has been

searching out your son in what should be a safe environment (school) and has

preparing him for this kind of weirdness. This is a violation of all ethics that

teachers are expected to maintain. This teacher needs to be removed from the

school and away from children immediately!

Debbi in SO CA

>

> My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he could

spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no, and I

didn't think too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again. My son

insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the bus, gave

him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his house

sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher said

okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if he

could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I have

never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he is

24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me what

town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he has

never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given him a

hug. I am going to call the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice

anyone has to offer!

>

[Guest guest]

Wow - my mouth is agape with shock!

I don't have any specific advice except to immediately bring this to the

attention of every administrator in the school and your child's classroom

teacher. Make sure that this teacher never has the opportunity to be alone with

your son.

> From: smmbcw <cliftonandshannon@...>

> Subject: ( ) Teacher asked son to spend the night

>

> Date: Wednesday, April 21, 2010, 6:11 PM

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> My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he

could spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no,

and I didn't think too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again.

My son insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the

bus, gave him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his

house sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher

said okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if

he could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I

have never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he

is 24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me

what town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he

has never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given

him a hug. I am going to call

> the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice anyone has to offer!

>

[Guest guest]

Again it doesn't matter if the principal agrees or not. Put it all in writing

the second conversation with the paraprofessional too.

State very matter of factly that AS do take things literally

you agree and that you do not want any teacher or aide

joking about having a minor sleep over a teachers house joke

or not. State that there should be no joking about behaviors

that are inappropriate for children because it will confuse

your son.

You could ask the school psychologist or the district

autism behaviorist to talk to the parties involved

to explain not to joke in these manners.

I did this very thing when my daughter was in 4th grade.

She had a very sarcastic teacher. The principal agreed to have the district

behaviorist talk to the teacher but unfortunately the teacher just ignored the

behaviorist recommendations I am

sorry to say. Then the principal just started to ignore

me and get very frustrated with me. But the next year

my daughter was placed in a room with a teacher and an aide that both

where super kind and nice.

Pam

> >

> > My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he could

spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told him no, and I

didn't think too much about it. A few days later he brought it up again. My son

insists that this teacher approached him while he was waiting for the bus, gave

him a piece of candy and asked him if he wanted to come stay at his house

sometime. My son told him that it would be up to his parents. The teacher said

okay and left. My son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if he

could spend the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I have

never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me that he is

24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even able to tell me what

town this man lives in, which is not usual for my son. He swears that he has

never been alone with this teacher, and this teacher has never even given him a

hug. I am going to call the principal tomorrow, but I am looking for any advice

anyone has to offer!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My ds had a teacher who was big on sarcasm one year and it was really

awful. And the teacher would not listen to any advice on my ds either.

He was a popular teacher really. But what a long year.

In another case, my oldest ds had a sped teacher in high school that

was sarcastic and always joked around. It was a good thing in this

case, because the timing was right for my ds and he learned a lot about

joking around by being with this teacher. But if he had not been ready

to learn that stuff, it would have been a disaster. What was so funny

(to me) is that the teacher had no clue about autism or even realized

the effect he was having on my kid. One time he told me something my

ds had done after taking what the teacher said literally. And he

laughed when he told the story like he couldn't believe he took it

literally. I didn't laugh because I would have expected my ds to take

it literally - duh. lol. It just made me realize how the teacher had

no clue. But he had such a good rapport with my ds that I didn't mess

with what was working.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: Teacher asked son to spend the night

Again it doesn't matter if the principal agrees or not. Put it all in

writing the second conversation with the paraprofessional too.

State very matter of factly that AS do take things literally

you agree and that you do not want any teacher or aide

joking about having a minor sleep over a teachers house joke

or not. State that there should be no joking about behaviors

that are inappropriate for children because it will confuse

your son.

You could ask the school psychologist or the district

autism behaviorist to talk to the parties involved

to explain not to joke in these manners.

I did this very thing when my daughter was in 4th grade.

She had a very sarcastic teacher. The principal agreed to have the

district behaviorist talk to the teacher but unfortunately the teacher

just ignored the behaviorist recommendations I am

sorry to say. Then the principal just started to ignore

me and get very frustrated with me. But the next year

my daughter was placed in a room with a teacher and an aide that both

where super kind and nice.

Pam

> >

> > My son is 8 years old and has Aspergers. He recently asked me if he

could spend the night at his music teacher's house. I laughed and told

him no, and I didn't think too much about it. A few days later he

brought it up again. My son insists that this teacher approached him

while he was waiting for the bus, gave him a piece of candy and asked

him if he wanted to come stay at his house sometime. My son told him

that it would be up to his parents. The teacher said okay and left. My

son is very insistent that he NEVER asked the teacher if he could spend

the night at this house, rather the teacher approached him. I have

never met this teacher and I have no clue who he is. My son told me

that he is 24, isn't married, and doesn't have children. He was even

able to tell me what town this man lives in, which is not usual for my

son. He swears that he has never been alone with this teacher, and this

teacher has never even given him a hug. I am going to call the

principal tomo rrow, but I am looking for any advice anyone has to

offer!

> >

>