Emotional abuse by a non custodial parent of our Asperger's son

[Guest guest]

I am totally clueless on how to deal with this issue. My son, 12, is undergoing

extreme emotional abuse at the hands of his father and 18 yr old step brother

every other weekend. He doesnt want to go there anymore, but the visitation

paperwork states that he must. He gets tormented, called stupid, gay, called

girls names, and even was told by his father that if he stole from him, he would

be shot in the head in a field. OH MY!! My son says he isnt scared of his dad,

but is kinda scared of that last statement.

Is anyone else going through the same issues with a non custodial parent, where

the other parent thinks nothing is wrong with the child, that the child is just

acting like a normal boy without any friends??

[Guest guest]

my son is so distraught over this. He is withdrawn emotionally. Wants 'not to be

his son anymore' and it's sad. But the father says 'boys will be boys' when the

older son picks on my son. I tried to explain Aspregers to my ex, and he

basically blew it off and said that my son was just needing to be put outside

more and forced into the world. My reaction to that was you cant force them, you

have to teach them. He laughed. He isnt the brightest, he's the dullest person

I've ever met... unfortunately for my son.

> >

> > First thing that comes to my mind is knocking the guy for a loop,,,,but not

wise : ),,,,,,maybe a voice activated recorder in your sons backpack or

something? Pick up the conversation and send it off to the judge who issued the

court order,,get counselor involved, etc...? Then maybe it could turn into

supervised visitation and they could make his dad go to counseling with him?

That is a tough one.

> >

> > Lynne Banks

> > www.americanadoptioncongress.org

> > South Dakota State Representative

> >

> > www.adoptionscams.net

> > Ask me how to protect yourself from being scammed in adoption!

> >

> > [sPAM] ( ) Emotional abuse by a non custodial

parent of our Asperger's son

> >

> >

> >

> > I am totally clueless on how to deal with this issue. My son, 12, is

undergoing extreme emotional abuse at the hands of his father and 18 yr old step

brother every other weekend. He doesnt want to go there anymore, but the

visitation paperwork states that he must. He gets tormented, called stupid, gay,

called girls names, and even was told by his father that if he stole from him,

he would be shot in the head in a field. OH MY!! My son says he isnt scared of

his dad, but is kinda scared of that last statement.

> > Is anyone else going through the same issues with a non custodial parent,

where the other parent thinks nothing is wrong with the child, that the child is

just acting like a normal boy without any friends??

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Can you immediately Monday call Social Services and talk to someone about abuse on your son? Or, perhaps, a doc?

You've got to get the ball rolling. And, sadly, if you don't do it "correctly",,,,it won't work in your favor. In a perfect world, you'd be able to keep him from him because he's bad,,,,,,,but you have to "follow the law".

Hugs to you.

Ahhhhh, Laughter................

Robin

From: <amandabaer76@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Emotional abuse by a non custodial parent of our Asperger's son Date: Sunday, April 25, 2010, 5:22 AM

my son is so distraught over this. He is withdrawn emotionally. Wants 'not to be his son anymore' and it's sad. But the father says 'boys will be boys' when the older son picks on my son. I tried to explain Aspregers to my ex, and he basically blew it off and said that my son was just needing to be put outside more and forced into the world. My reaction to that was you cant force them, you have to teach them. He laughed. He isnt the brightest, he's the dullest person I've ever met... unfortunately for my son.> >> > First thing that comes to my mind is knocking the guy for a loop,,,,but not wise : ),,,,,,maybe a voice activated recorder in your sons backpack or something? Pick up the conversation and send it off to the judge who issued the court order,,get counselor involved, etc...? Then maybe it could turn into supervised visitation and they could make his dad go to counseling with him? That is a tough one.> > > > Lynne Banks> > www.americanadoptio ncongress. org> > South Dakota State Representative> > > > www.adoptionscams. net> > Ask me how to protect yourself from being scammed in adoption!> > > > [sPAM] ( ) Emotional abuse by a non custodial parent of our Asperger's son> > > > > > > > I am totally clueless on how to deal with this issue. My son, 12, is undergoing extreme emotional abuse at the hands of his father and 18 yr old step brother every other weekend. He doesnt want to go there anymore, but the visitation paperwork states that he must. He gets tormented, called stupid, gay, called girls names, and even was told by his father that if he stole from him, he would be shot in the head in a field. OH MY!! My son says he isnt scared of his dad, but is kinda scared of that last statement. > > Is anyone

else going through the same issues with a non custodial parent, where the other parent thinks nothing is wrong with the child, that the child is just acting like a normal boy without any friends??> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

Gosh, I wouldn't want to send him either! Do you have an attorney you can ask

about this? I would think somehow that maybe stating the " environment " wasn't

good for your son could get the visitation changed. Maybe get it changed to

just one day (and not overnight) a month or something. Sounds like dad

wouldn't miss having him there, with way he treats him or by what he thinks of

him (why would he even comment on stealing), can't have much of a relationship.

I'm sure you've argued the point with dad, I know I would do that first. So it

can be said you HAVE talked to dad repeatedly about this, thus seeking legal

counsel is the next step. What about stepmom, any kind of help from her

possible?

I feel fortunate that my ex and me never had anything legal set about

visitation. If I refused to bring the kids, that was just it (he's an alcoholic

and that led to me not taking them to see him).

It's hard to get them to change. My Aspie son's brothers used to call him

" stupid " or " retard " or other at times, and I'd really get on them about it each

time but - seeing I said " each time, " you can see they didn't listen well. It

did get better as they got older. I hate that the step-brother at age 18 is

actually putting down a younger kid, seems like he has his own issues!

So sorry your son is going through this! Hope you can get it changed.

>

> I am totally clueless on how to deal with this issue. My son, 12, is

undergoing extreme emotional abuse at the hands of his father and 18 yr old step

brother every other weekend. He doesnt want to go there anymore, but the

visitation paperwork states that he must. He gets tormented, called stupid, gay,

called girls names, and even was told by his father that if he stole from him,

he would be shot in the head in a field. OH MY!! My son says he isnt scared of

his dad, but is kinda scared of that last statement.

> Is anyone else going through the same issues with a non custodial parent,

where the other parent thinks nothing is wrong with the child, that the child is

just acting like a normal boy without any friends??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am dealing with similar issues with my ex (my dd is 9). I am in the process of documenting everything in a calander and have petioned the court to have the parenting plan changed in the best interests of my daughter.

If your son has a counselor, you may want to ask the counselor if they have any documentation that would help modify the current parenting plan.

I hope it helps.

From: <amandabaer76@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Emotional abuse by a non custodial parent of our Asperger's son Date: Sunday, April 25, 2010, 10:22 AM

my son is so distraught over this. He is withdrawn emotionally. Wants 'not to be his son anymore' and it's sad. But the father says 'boys will be boys' when the older son picks on my son. I tried to explain Aspregers to my ex, and he basically blew it off and said that my son was just needing to be put outside more and forced into the world. My reaction to that was you cant force them, you have to teach them. He laughed. He isnt the brightest, he's the dullest person I've ever met... unfortunately for my son.> >> > First thing that comes to my mind is knocking the guy for a loop,,,,but not wise : ),,,,,,maybe a voice activated recorder in your sons backpack or something? Pick up the conversation and send it off to the judge who issued the court order,,get counselor involved, etc...? Then maybe it could turn into supervised visitation and they could make his dad go to counseling with him? That is a tough one.> > > > Lynne Banks> > www.americanadoptio ncongress. org> > South Dakota State Representative> > > > www.adoptionscams. net> > Ask me how to protect yourself from being scammed in adoption!> > > > [sPAM] ( ) Emotional abuse by a non custodial parent of our Asperger's son> > > > > > > > I am totally clueless on how to deal with this issue. My son, 12, is undergoing extreme emotional abuse at the hands of his father and 18 yr old step brother every other weekend. He doesnt want to go there anymore, but the visitation paperwork states that he must. He gets tormented, called stupid, gay, called girls names, and even was told by his father that if he stole from him, he would be shot in the head in a field. OH MY!! My son says he isnt scared of his dad, but is kinda scared of that last statement. > > Is anyone

else going through the same issues with a non custodial parent, where the other parent thinks nothing is wrong with the child, that the child is just acting like a normal boy without any friends??> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

Umm even if he was a " normal boy with no friends " this kind of behavior is NOT

okay. I would document everything, and try to talk to the father. Tell him if

the situation continues that you will pursue legal action. You can go to court

and have the visitations altered on the basis of emotional abuse. If you do not

have the resources to go to court, your town may have a local crisis center that

might be able to help you find an affordable course of action. My ex

fortunately is not like this yet, but I wouldn't put it past him. He was

emotionally and physically abusive to me when we were married, so I do monitor

the situation closely and ask lots of questions. I certainly wouldn't force

your son to go under those circumstances.

>

> I am totally clueless on how to deal with this issue. My son, 12, is

undergoing extreme emotional abuse at the hands of his father and 18 yr old step

brother every other weekend. He doesnt want to go there anymore, but the

visitation paperwork states that he must. He gets tormented, called stupid, gay,

called girls names, and even was told by his father that if he stole from him,

he would be shot in the head in a field. OH MY!! My son says he isnt scared of

his dad, but is kinda scared of that last statement.

> Is anyone else going through the same issues with a non custodial parent,

where the other parent thinks nothing is wrong with the child, that the child is

just acting like a normal boy without any friends??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

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[sPAM] ( ) Emotional

abuse by a non custodial parent of our Asperger's son> > > > > > > > I am

totally clueless on how to deal with this issue. My son, 12, is undergoing

extreme emotional abuse at the hands of his father and 18 yr old step brother

every other weekend. He doesnt want to go there anymore, but the visitation

paperwork states that he must. He gets tormented, called stupid, gay, called

girls names, and even was told by his father that if he stole from him, he would

be shot in the head in a field. OH MY!! My son says he isnt scared of his dad,

but is kinda scared of that last statement. > > Is anyone else going through the

same issues with a non custodial parent, where the other parent thinks nothing

is wrong with the child, that the child is just acting like a normal boy without

any friends??> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

,

I keep reading everyone's posts and I find myself so sad for your son and you. Imagine going/being sent somewhere where you'd be treated like this.....how sad.

Please let us know how things are going.

Hugs.

Ahhhhh, Laughter................

Robin

From: jm.smoldt <jm.smoldt@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Emotional abuse by a non custodial parent of our Asperger's son Date: Sunday, April 25, 2010, 6:18 PM

Umm even if he was a "normal boy with no friends" this kind of behavior is NOT okay. I would document everything, and try to talk to the father. Tell him if the situation continues that you will pursue legal action. You can go to court and have the visitations altered on the basis of emotional abuse. If you do not have the resources to go to court, your town may have a local crisis center that might be able to help you find an affordable course of action. My ex fortunately is not like this yet, but I wouldn't put it past him. He was emotionally and physically abusive to me when we were married, so I do monitor the situation closely and ask lots of questions. I certainly wouldn't force your son to go under those circumstances. >> I am totally clueless on how to deal with this issue. My son, 12, is undergoing extreme emotional abuse at the hands of his father and 18 yr old step brother every other weekend. He doesnt want to go there anymore, but the visitation paperwork states that he must. He gets tormented, called stupid, gay, called girls names, and even was told by his father that if he stole from him, he would be shot in the head in a field. OH MY!! My son says he isnt scared of his dad, but is kinda scared of that last statement. > Is anyone else going through the same issues with a non custodial parent, where the other parent thinks nothing is wrong with the child, that the child is just acting like a normal boy without any friends??> > >