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I am new to this site and am overwhelmed by the process of a newly diagnosed 6

year old with Asperger's. We just went to our first IEP meeting and I felt that

they were trying to say that " it could be worse " as he tests high in

intelligence but low in applying. It seemed that they were implying that since

he was still within " normal " range for a 6 year old, even though it is barely

within " normal " and doesn't even touch his potential, that it was fine to

essentially only deal with all the social issues and class disruptions. I'm

wondering if I'm over-reacting? I thought this was one of the issues that

becomes especially important as he gets older.......meeting his potential while

addressing his learning issues?

Also I am tired of people in the world saying " it's not so bad " . I think I

understand that they mean to be positive and please keep in mind that I do know

things could be more difficult, but does anyone else run into this and feel it

marginalizes their feelings/experience? To be honest, I sometimes feel like

it's harder because kids with Asperger's do look so " normal " in so many settings

and so folks react in ways that assumes " typical " child....

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First, if you can afford (or find one who is free) an advocate, hire one ASAP.

Second, go to s Law's website. They also wrote a new book about IEPs that

is supposedly good. Third find out the reputation of your school system in

regards to special education...are others having problems getting adequate

services? Is there a neighboring school system where the parents are happy?

I think IDEA law is pretty clear that school systems should work to address any

issues that negatively impact a child's academics, and also schools should

prepare children for work or college after their public education; however, I

feel the extent to which they are actually compelled to do all this depends on

how well the state DOE regulates this stuff, variations in state laws, access to

free/cheap advocates, and the individual school system.

If your school system is marginal like mine, you might start thinking about the

minimal services you need from the school system, and finding out what services

you can get get through your insurance (or elsewhere). Then negotiate for what

is needed.

Good luck.

-

>

> I am new to this site and am overwhelmed by the process of a newly diagnosed 6

year old with Asperger's. We just went to our first IEP meeting and I felt that

they were trying to say that " it could be worse " as he tests high in

intelligence but low in applying. It seemed that they were implying that since

he was still within " normal " range for a 6 year old, even though it is barely

within " normal " and doesn't even touch his potential, that it was fine to

essentially only deal with all the social issues and class disruptions. I'm

wondering if I'm over-reacting? I thought this was one of the issues that

becomes especially important as he gets older.......meeting his potential while

addressing his learning issues?

> Also I am tired of people in the world saying " it's not so bad " . I think I

understand that they mean to be positive and please keep in mind that I do know

things could be more difficult, but does anyone else run into this and feel it

marginalizes their feelings/experience? To be honest, I sometimes feel like

it's harder because kids with Asperger's do look so " normal " in so many settings

and so folks react in ways that assumes " typical " child....

>

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When your son is about 9 have him tested by a nueropsychologist

and find out if he truely has deficits in any areas of thinking.

Some AS kids don't have any cognitive deficits (like slow processing speed or

poor working memory or attentional issues etc). Once

you have real data you will feel better and when people say

ridiculous things you can say to yourself they don't understand this.

He may be in the normal range for academic knowledge but most

AS kids even with severe learning issues (like non verbal LD)

will test ok especially in the early years.

I don't think you are overreacting I think you may

realize these are not the people to go to for insight.

The neuropsychologist (find one that writes detailed reports

for education planning) should give you very good advice.

For class disruption your son needs a plan based on ABA

or more simply known to the schools as a positive

reinforcement plan with gradual exposure and fading of

rewards once behaviors are stable (years not days or weeks).

People don't understand emotional social issues of any kind

or how hard it is to treat many of these kids. My own

husband downplays the issues and wonders why I can't

also fit in a full time job somehow. That hurts he doesn't

see how hard it is to keep her stable and how much school

she misses due to illnesses. She is not stable

yet he doesn't recognize that.

How I cope is to keep seeing the behaviorist for parenting

support and a neuropyschologist that also counsels and does

know how hard it is to raise an AS child. Our daughter's

psychiatrist knows how high our daughter's anxiety is

and she advocates at the school. I have to look

for support from people who truly do understand the

issues our kids have and with their help they help

me get what she needs.

I hope you find good support.

Pam

>

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Bens tests are very simular. Above average in intelligence but application is a

problem. His private school seems enable to comprehend he is not " doing things

on purpose " I am noew also to the diagnosis. I have a list of needed things to

be done in the classroom. We are going to public school next year

>

> I am new to this site and am overwhelmed by the process of a newly diagnosed 6

year old with Asperger's. We just went to our first IEP meeting and I felt that

they were trying to say that " it could be worse " as he tests high in

intelligence but low in applying. It seemed that they were implying that since

he was still within " normal " range for a 6 year old, even though it is barely

within " normal " and doesn't even touch his potential, that it was fine to

essentially only deal with all the social issues and class disruptions. I'm

wondering if I'm over-reacting? I thought this was one of the issues that

becomes especially important as he gets older.......meeting his potential while

addressing his learning issues?

> Also I am tired of people in the world saying " it's not so bad " . I think I

understand that they mean to be positive and please keep in mind that I do know

things could be more difficult, but does anyone else run into this and feel it

marginalizes their feelings/experience? To be honest, I sometimes feel like

it's harder because kids with Asperger's do look so " normal " in so many settings

and so folks react in ways that assumes " typical " child....

>

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