Re: Building Bridges

[Guest guest]

Bless your heart! This sounds very much like my son's experience when he was 5 (he's now 13, 8th grade.) I think you need to get a FBA (functional behavioral analysis, right ladies?) and then work on beefing up his IEP. What does the Spec Ed teacher who's supposed to look in daily say about all of this?

I've also had other teachers through the years tell me how Dylan "chose" to do certain things in class "for attention" and would talk to me like they were "on" to Dylan and summing up his intent in ways nobody else could and it would drive me NUTS. In my opinion, his acting out was directly proportionate to the sensory overload (internal or external) in the classroom. Of course, the behavior still needed to be dealt with, but when the teacher was contributing everything he was doing as intentional misbehavior, they were completely missing the boat on how to best handle him. For my son, he always wanted to please adults, so when he could see he was not making the adult happy, he'd act up even more due to heightened anxiety. It was a vicious cycle.

I'd ask for that FBA ASAP. Keep us posted! I wish I had great advice for you, but my son was not diagnosed as Aspergers (instead, it was ADHD) when he was your son's age and those years were so hard on all of us. I used to try and "support the school" by making him be in trouble at home if he was in trouble at school, but quickly realized that just meant he was always in trouble and who wants to live like that? So we would have a short discussion about what happened in school, what I'd like to see happen in the future, talk about his feelings (usually in the tune of me trying to describe how he felt so he could start putting words to his feelings, such as..."I bet you were really frustrated when you had to miss recess b/c the teacher didn't understand why you were crawling around the room. I bet that was also kind of embarrassing once you stopped and realized the kids were watching you do it. I'm sorry that

happened, buddy."), and move on. He got to start over when he got home. Once I started doing that, it's like a weight was lifted off of him and his behavior at home improved immensely.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Marjorie <nigocsm@...> Sent: Monday, September 21, 2009 7:34:46 PMSubject: ( ) Building Bridges

Hello, I am new to the group. I have silently been "lurking" in the background and reading everyone's comments. Some stories are so familiar they could have been written about my son. is 5 and was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. He was asked to leave 3 schools prior to his diagnosis and I was devastated when I was told he would attend special ed for PreK Dec 2008. It was probably one of the best things in the world that could have happened. The Special Ed teacher was great and had a good understanding of developmental milestones and the challenges some Aspies have. also attended a daycare half day with a lady who was firm but loving. They understood that behavioral challenges are part of the spectrum. I had asked that he be evaluated by SLP for pragmatic therapies, but everyone agreed that he did not need it as long as we were firm and consistant. His IEP is minimal. I agreed with the plan and due to significant improvement he was placed

in a mainstream class with the Spec Ed teacher looking in once a day. Flash forward to today. has been in school for about 3 weeks. We receive a communication notebook from the teacher daily. And daily I receive a comment about how "chose to disrupt" the class, pinched a student, ran in the hall..you name it. There was not one comment in the positive. After a week I called the teacher to discuss his conduct and what we could do to reinforce her expectations. She has been a teacher for 13 years and she told me she has never taught an Aspie before. In a nutshell I told her that I expected to have certain behaviors in the day, but I am sure in 7-8 hours he also did something positive and I would also like to hear about these bright spots. I also tried to use the analogy that if you are teaching a hearing impaired student you would not necessarily send home a note detailing problems related to their disability. She seemed to understand and

told me she was documenting to see if there were a pattern to his conduct--more in the am or pm. It seemed to make sense, so I tried to end the conversation on a positive note. That evening I received a one page chronicle of my son's behavior on an hourly basis. I was troubled by this. I am a teacher's wife, and I realize that such excessive documentation can sometimes be prior to a request to move a student or make a case for ED and place a child back in Spec Ed. , like many Aspies, is way beyond his peers in the classroom, although I have to say his spec ed experience has made him especially compassionate to special needs children(his only great social skill). So my question to many of you out there is this. How do I go about addressing the ignorance of this teacher, who continues to send notes home, and still maintain a good environment for my son? I forgot to mention that she has called in the administrator on several occasions when my son did

not listen to her and I have had to sign papers acknowledging the discipline. I thought Aspies had some protection due to the IDEA act. I want to build bridges, not cause him to be singled out more in class. I have a meeting with Spec Ed, Admin representative, and the teacher next week. Any ideas? I appreciate it!

[Guest guest]

It seems so much more clear to analyze someone else's problems, so here I go: I

say, trust your instincts. I WOULD be worried, too, if my son was the teacher's

first case of asperger's. Her over documenting your son is also worrisome, imho.

I'm unclear if her intentions are good, bad or just ignorant.

TOTALLY disagree about not testing him. The school seems to have an

agenda--saving money? not wanting to identify another student that needs

specialized help? You need to start documenting what they tell you and respond

to them in writing requesting what you want. I would honestly start looking

around at what other schools have. Call and talk to the spec. ed. people first.

Find out if some other schools already have supports in place for aspies/hfa

students. See how they treat you over the phone. Keep investigating. Don't feel

as if you have to tolerate over-riding your gut about this teacher and the

school. The battle has just begun for you.

>

> Hello, I am new to the group. I have silently been " lurking " in the

background and reading everyone's comments. Some stories are so familiar they

could have been written about my son. is 5 and was recently diagnosed with

Aspergers. He was asked to leave 3 schools prior to his diagnosis and I was

devastated when I was told he would attend special ed for PreK Dec 2008. It was

probably one of the best things in the world that could have happened. The

Special Ed teacher was great and had a good understanding of developmental

milestones and the challenges some Aspies have. also attended a daycare

half day with a lady who was firm but loving. They understood that behavioral

challenges are part of the spectrum. I had asked that he be evaluated by SLP

for pragmatic therapies, but everyone agreed that he did not need it as long as

we were firm and consistant. His IEP is minimal. I agreed with the plan and due

to significant improvement he was placed in a mainstream class with the Spec Ed

teacher looking in once a day. Flash forward to today. has been in school

for about 3 weeks. We receive a communication notebook from the teacher daily.

And daily I receive a comment about how " chose to disrupt " the class,

pinched a student, ran in the hall..you name it. There was not one comment in

the positive. After a week I called the teacher to discuss his conduct and what

we could do to reinforce her expectations. She has been a teacher for 13 years

and she told me she has never taught an Aspie before. In a nutshell I told her

that I expected to have certain behaviors in the day, but I am sure in 7-8

hours he also did something positive and I would also like to hear about these

bright spots. I also tried to use the analogy that if you are teaching a

hearing impaired student you would not necessarily send home a note detailing

problems related to their disability. She seemed to understand and told me she

was documenting to see if there were a pattern to his conduct--more in the am or

pm. It seemed to make sense, so I tried to end the conversation on a positive

note. That evening I received a one page chronicle of my son's behavior on an

hourly basis. I was troubled by this. I am a teacher's wife, and I realize

that such excessive documentation can sometimes be prior to a request to move a

student or make a case for ED and place a child back in Spec Ed. , like many

Aspies, is way beyond his peers in the classroom, although I have to say his

spec ed experience has made him especially compassionate to special needs

children(his only great social skill). So my question to many of you out there

is this. How do I go about addressing the ignorance of this teacher, who

continues to send notes home, and still maintain a good environment for my son?

I forgot to mention that she has called in the administrator on several

occasions when my son did not listen to her and I have had to sign papers

acknowledging the discipline. I thought Aspies had some protection due to the

IDEA act. I want to build bridges, not cause him to be singled out more in

class. I have a meeting with Spec Ed, Admin representative, and the teacher next

week. Any ideas? I appreciate it!

>

[Guest guest]

Of course you don't want to be getting these notes. What are

you suppose to do with this. Use this notes as evidence that

the school needs to do a FBA for your son and update his

IEP to include a BIP that is developed by an Autism expert.

I went thru this same thing. The behaviorist they brought in

was great!!!

These things can go into the IEP:

1) ask that she be placed in a class with two teachers, one is

usually a special education teacher.

2) that only positive reinforcement be used for discipline.

3) Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) report be done on his behaviors by a

person experienced with Autism disorders.

From that report many many recommendation most likely be made to

the teacher on how to gain cooperation in a positive manner.

Document you want him in the least resitrictive enviroment and

that he does not have a BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan)

in his IEP and you are cncerned that these notes reflect issues

not getting addressed.

hope this helps,

Pam

[Guest guest]

I am sorry I did not make myself clear. was previously tested by Slp. He was found "normal" but he has had 3 evals( one normal,then 2 yrs delayed, then the last at this school was normal). I requested some additional testing for pragmatics. I felt he was doing so well after a few weeks of structure that i agreed to not do the formal testing as informal assessment was normal by 2 slps. we have worked hard with my son and he behaves acceptably in small groups, but large groups over stimulate him. Testing is almost always done one on one so the magnitude of his symptoms are often not apparent. Changing his class is an option but any chnage will worry him. I am so glad that this group is here. I attempted to air my concerns at a parent support group and was handed a card for a lawyer. We cannot afford private school so I would like to work in the district. I hate to trash teachers as my husband is one ( for

a different district) and he feels our son will be treated poorly if we complain too much. Thank you for your thoughts. It is so nice to know we are not alone inour battles with the schoolSent from my iPhoneOn Sep 22, 2009, at 10:43 AM, "lovetoeatchocolatecake" <doyourecycle@...> wrote:

It seems so much more clear to analyze someone else's problems, so here I go: I say, trust your instincts. I WOULD be worried, too, if my son was the teacher's first case of asperger's. Her over documenting your son is also worrisome, imho. I'm unclear if her intentions are good, bad or just ignorant.

TOTALLY disagree about not testing him. The school seems to have an agenda--saving money? not wanting to identify another student that needs specialized help? You need to start documenting what they tell you and respond to them in writing requesting what you want. I would honestly start looking around at what other schools have. Call and talk to the spec. ed. people first. Find out if some other schools already have supports in place for aspies/hfa students. See how they treat you over the phone. Keep investigating. Don't feel as if you have to tolerate over-riding your gut about this teacher and the school. The battle has just begun for you.

>

> Hello, I am new to the group. I have silently been "lurking" in the background and reading everyone's comments. Some stories are so familiar they could have been written about my son. is 5 and was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. He was asked to leave 3 schools prior to his diagnosis and I was devastated when I was told he would attend special ed for PreK Dec 2008. It was probably one of the best things in the world that could have happened. The Special Ed teacher was great and had a good understanding of developmental milestones and the challenges some Aspies have. also attended a daycare half day with a lady who was firm but loving. They understood that behavioral challenges are part of the spectrum. I had asked that he be evaluated by SLP for pragmatic therapies, but everyone agreed that he did not need it as long as we were firm and consistant. His IEP is minimal. I agreed with the plan and due to significant improvement he was

placed in a mainstream class with the Spec Ed teacher looking in once a day. Flash forward to today. has been in school for about 3 weeks. We receive a communication notebook from the teacher daily. And daily I receive a comment about how "chose to disrupt" the class, pinched a student, ran in the hall..you name it. There was not one comment in the positive. After a week I called the teacher to discuss his conduct and what we could do to reinforce her expectations. She has been a teacher for 13 years and she told me she has never taught an Aspie before. In a nutshell I told her that I expected to have certain behaviors in the day, but I am sure in 7-8 hours he also did something positive and I would also like to hear about these bright spots. I also tried to use the analogy that if you are teaching a hearing impaired student you would not necessarily send home a note detailing problems related to their disability. She seemed to

understand and told me she was documenting to see if there were a pattern to his condu!

ct--more

in the am or pm. It seemed to make sense, so I tried to end the conversation on a positive note. That evening I received a one page chronicle of my son's behavior on an hourly basis. I was troubled by this. I am a teacher's wife, and I realize that such excessive documentation can sometimes be prior to a request to move a student or make a case for ED and place a child back in Spec Ed. , like many Aspies, is way beyond his peers in the classroom, although I have to say his spec ed experience has made him especially compassionate to special needs children(his only great social skill). So my question to many of you out there is this. How do I go about addressing the ignorance of this teacher, who continues to send notes home, and still maintain a good environment for my son? I forgot to mention that she has called in the administrator on several occasions when my son did not listen to her and I have had to sign papers acknowledging the

discipline. I thought Aspies had some protection due to the IDEA act. I want to build bridges, not cause him to be singled out more in class. I have a meeting with Spec Ed, Admin representative, and the teacher next week. Any ideas? I appreciate it!

>

[Guest guest]

You make some great points. Thank you for your suggestions. I was unaware of Fbas. They just gave me this huge packet of papers on ARD that confused me. will be in this scoop for about 5 more years so I want him to be successful. There is a parent group for qspies for the district, but I find this group infinitely more helpful! Thanks again. I will hopefully sound halfway intelligent at the meeting and will not let them distract me from making my son gets what he needs to be successful. Appreciate the advice!MarjSent from my iPhoneOn Sep 22, 2009, at 11:24 AM, "Pamela" <susanonderko@...> wrote:

Of course you don't want to be getting these notes. What are

you suppose to do with this. Use this notes as evidence that

the school needs to do a FBA for your son and update his

IEP to include a BIP that is developed by an Autism expert.

I went thru this same thing. The behaviorist they brought in

was great!!!

These things can go into the IEP:

1) ask that she be placed in a class with two teachers, one is

usually a special education teacher.

2) that only positive reinforcement be used for discipline.

3) Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) report be done on his behaviors by a person experienced with Autism disorders.

From that report many many recommendation most likely be made to

the teacher on how to gain cooperation in a positive manner.

Document you want him in the least resitrictive enviroment and

that he does not have a BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan)

in his IEP and you are cncerned that these notes reflect issues

not getting addressed.

hope this helps,

Pam

[Guest guest]

You can look at www.wrightslaw.com for information geared

to parents on special education law and FBA.

good luck,

Pam

>

> Of course you don't want to be getting these notes. What are

> you suppose to do with this. Use this notes as evidence that

> the school needs to do a FBA for your son and update his

> IEP to include a BIP that is developed by an Autism expert.

> I went thru this same thing. The behaviorist they brought in

> was great!!!

>

> These things can go into the IEP:

> 1) ask that she be placed in a class with two teachers, one is

> usually a special education teacher.

>

> 2) that only positive reinforcement be used for discipline.

>

> 3) Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) report be done on his behaviors by a

person experienced with Autism disorders.

> From that report many many recommendation most likely be made to

> the teacher on how to gain cooperation in a positive manner.

>

> Document you want him in the least resitrictive enviroment and

> that he does not have a BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan)

> in his IEP and you are cncerned that these notes reflect issues

> not getting addressed.

>

> hope this helps,

>

> Pam

>

[Guest guest]

Others already said you need an FBA. I would just agree that you need

this. You need to find out when he's misbehaving and why. Just

writing down what he is doing is not much help if you don't know what

caused him to do it! An FBA done by an autism behavior expert would

figure out what's going on and then you can write a behavior plan (BP)

to work on the behaviors and also any issues that are going on. The

teacher is wrong to say that he is choosing to misbehave. There are

kids who sit there and think of ways to be disruptive. But most kids

don't do that. Behavior is a form of communication and kids act out

for a reason. Figure out why (and there might be a number of problems

to address) and then you can address each problem and/or mold the

behavior for situations.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Building Bridges

Hello, I am new to the group. I have silently been " lurking " in the

background and reading everyone's comments. Some stories are so

familiar they could have been written about my son. is 5 and was

recently diagnosed with Aspergers. He was asked to leave 3 schools

prior to his diagnosis and I w

as devastated when I was told he would

attend special ed for PreK Dec 2008. It was probably one of the best

things in the world that could have happened. The Special Ed teacher

was great and had a good understanding of developmental milestones and

the challenges some Aspies have. also attended a daycare half day

with a lady who was firm but loving. They understood that behavioral

challenges are part of the spectrum. I had asked that he be evaluated

by SLP for pragmatic therapies, but everyone agreed that he did not

need it as long as we were firm and consistant. His IEP is minimal. I

agreed with the plan and due to significant improvement he was placed

in a mainstream class with the Spec Ed teacher looking in once a day.

Flash forward to today. has been in school for about 3 weeks. We

receive a communication notebook from the teacher daily. And daily I

receive a comment about how " chose to disrupt " the class, pinched

a student, ran in the hall..you name it. There was not one comment in

the positive. After a week I called the teacher to discuss his conduct

and what we could do to reinforce her expectations. She has been a

teacher for 13 years and she told me she has never taught an Aspie

before. In a nutshell I told her that I expected to have certain

behaviors in the day, but I am sure in 7-8 hours he also did something

positive and I would=2

0also like to hear about these bright spots. I

also tried to use the analogy that if you are teaching a hearing

impaired student you would not necessarily send home a note detailing

problems related to their disability. She seemed to understand and

told me she was documenting to see if there were a pattern to h

is conduct--more in the am or pm. It seemed to make sense, so I tried

to end the conversation on a positive note. That evening I received a

one page chronicle of my son's behavior on an hourly basis. I was

troubled by this. I am a teacher's wife, and I realize that such

excessive documentation can sometimes be prior to a request to move a

student or make a case for ED and place a child back in Spec Ed. ,

like many Aspies, is way beyond his peers in the classroom, although I

have to say his spec ed experience has made him especially

compassionate to special needs children(his only great social skill).

So my question to many of you out there is this. How do I go about

addressing the ignorance of this teacher, who continues to send notes

home, and still maintain a good environment for my son? I forgot to

mention that she has called in the administrator on several occasions

when my son did not listen to her and I have had to sign papers

acknowledging the discipline. I thought Aspies had some protection due

to the IDEA act. I want to build bridges, not cause20him to be singled

out more in class. I have a meeting with Spec Ed, Admin representative,

and the teacher next week. Any ideas? I appreciate it!