Re: Hi All, Need Help

[Guest guest]

Can't offer any advice, just wanted to say a lot of kids could do with a mum that is as understanding of their issues as you are. And stock up on the underwear, cause once they have an idea in their heads they are going to do it one way or an other.

Lor B

From: baneline1 <baneline1@...>Subject: ( ) Hi All, Need Help Date: Monday, 21 September, 2009, 3:33 PM

I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want to know if anyone has any ideas.He has started to take his sisters underwear and is wearing them around the house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house but he is definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him his own girls underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he adamantly refuses that but he still keeps taking his sisters. I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't tell me why he is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his sister is running out of underwear because he is hiding them around his room instead of putting them into the laundry.What do I do now?Vickie

[Guest guest]

I would treat it as if he is taking her books or DVD's. There is a

small consequence for touching others belongings. Our behaviorist emphasises

that behavior is learned by reinforcing the positive behavior you want. You want

him to leav others belongings alone.

You were very open minded that if he wanted something she had you would buy it

for him. If he doesn't listen he loses 5 minutes of TV or computer time.

Something small that doesn't rage him

just a small consequence. Does he get an allowance? If he does and

more is missing than he loses 50 cents a week. Again it is not enough to pay for

new clothes but it gets the message accross.

I hope this works.

Pam

>

> I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want to know

if anyone has any ideas.

>

> He has started to take his sisters underwear and is wearing them around the

house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house but he is

definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him his own girls

underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he adamantly refuses that but he

still keeps taking his sisters.

>

> I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't tell me

why he is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his sister is running

out of underwear because he is hiding them around his room instead of putting

them into the laundry.

>

> What do I do now?

>

> Vickie

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah.... treat it like any other problem. You aren't allowed to take your sisters underwear. They are hers. Period. Here is a pile that is yours, now don't touch hers. Yours are this color, hers are this other color. Puberty/sexual thing.... but you still can't take your sisters stuff.....

Just keep telling yourself, it could always be bigger problems. Stealing guns, drugs, etc. Underwear are a minor one.

( ) Hi All, Need Help Date: Monday, 21 September, 2009, 3:33 PM

I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want to know if anyone has any ideas.He has started to take his sisters underwear and is wearing them around the house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house but he is definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him his own girls underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he adamantly refuses that but he still keeps taking his sisters. I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't tell me why he is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his sister is running out of underwear because he is hiding them around his room instead of putting them into the laundry.What do I do now?Vickie

[Guest guest]

I think you have gotten great advice already. I think making sure that the focus stays on the fact that he is taking property of his sisters without asking rather than what the object he is taking would be really important to save him from further embarrassment. Has he offered any reason as to why he is taking the underwear? If he is comfortable talking about it, I would tell him you will get him some of his own if he will stop wearing his sisters. Someone mentioned getting different colors which I think is a great idea. I would still want to know what it is about the underwear that he likes. Is it softer than boys underwear? It is because girls underwear doesn't have so many seams and its more comfortable to him?

You are such a great mom...hang in there! ((hugs))

Ashleigh

_______________________~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

( ) Hi All, Need Help

I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want to know if anyone has any ideas.He has started to take his sisters underwear and is wearing them around the house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house but he is definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him his own girls underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he adamantly refuses that but he still keeps taking his sisters. I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't tell me why he is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his sister is running out of underwear because he is hiding them around his room instead of putting them into the laundry.What do I do now?Vickie

[Guest guest]

Buy her more and hide them from him. pjFrom: baneline1 <baneline1@...>Subject: ( ) Hi All, Need Help Date: Monday, September 21, 2009, 9:33 AM

I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want to know if anyone has any ideas.

He has started to take his sisters underwear and is wearing them around the house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house but he is definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him his own girls underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he adamantly refuses that but he still keeps taking his sisters.

I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't tell me why he is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his sister is running out of underwear because he is hiding them around his room instead of putting them into the laundry.

What do I do now?

Vickie

[Guest guest]

I would take him to the boys undies section of the store and let him

pick out some undies. Also, tell him to stop taking things from his

sister. It isn't nice to have someone go through your things or take

them. And this is not a problem related to puberty that I am aware of.

If it's sensory, then letting him pick out something he is more

comfortable in should solve the problem. Buying him girls underwear

would not really solve the problem but will create new problems.

Imagine changing out in PE class, for one example.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Hi All, Need Help

I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want

to know if anyone has any ideas.

He has started to take his sisters underwear and is wearing them around

the house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house

but he is definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him

his own girls underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he

adamantly refuses that but he still keeps taking his sisters.

I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't

tell me why he=2

0is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his

sister is running out of underwear because he is hiding them around his

room instead of putting them into the laundry.

What do I do now?

Vickie

[Guest guest]



it is likely a fetish, hopefully temporary......so, boy underwear may not help the situation

( ) Hi All, Need HelpI have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want to know if anyone has any ideas.He has started to take his sisters underwear and is wearing them around the house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house but he is definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him his own girls underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he adamantly refuses that but he still keeps taking his sisters.I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't tell me why he=20is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his sister is running out of underwear because he is hiding them around his room instead of putting them into the laundry.What do I do now?Vickie

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all the input. After all the worrying about how to handle this it

turns out that he was using the underwear to pee in so he wouldn't have to walk

to the bathroom. He wouldn't tell me because he knows that I will get upset

about not using the bathroom. This has been an issue on and off for a while and

it is getting really old.

Interesting is that I was not as upset about it as I should have been because

its not to often that you get to be thankful that the biggest problem you are

facing is your 11 year old peeing in his pants when you were worried that you

were facing some sort of fetish.

Our lives would be sooo boring without our kids idiosyncrasies. It is all about

trying to stay just one step ahead.

Vickie

>

> it is likely a fetish, hopefully temporary......so, boy underwear may not help

the situation

> ( ) Hi All, Need Help

>

> I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want

> to know if anyone has any ideas.

>

> He has started to take his sisters underwear and is wearing them around

> the house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house

> but he is definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him

> his own girls underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he

> adamantly refuses that but he still keeps taking his sisters.

>

> I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't

> tell me why he=2

> 0is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his

> sister is running out of underwear because he is hiding them around his

> room instead of putting them into the laundry.

>

> What do I do now?

>

> Vickie

>

[Guest guest]

Thats a relief if, you pardon the pun.

From: baneline1 <baneline1@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Hi All, Need Help Date: Thursday, 24 September, 2009, 3:22 PM

Thanks for all the input. After all the worrying about how to handle this it turns out that he was using the underwear to pee in so he wouldn't have to walk to the bathroom. He wouldn't tell me because he knows that I will get upset about not using the bathroom. This has been an issue on and off for a while and it is getting really old. Interesting is that I was not as upset about it as I should have been because its not to often that you get to be thankful that the biggest problem you are facing is your 11 year old peeing in his pants when you were worried that you were facing some sort of fetish.Our lives would be sooo boring without our kids idiosyncrasies. It is all about trying to stay just one step ahead.Vickie>> it is likely a fetish, hopefully temporary... ...so, boy underwear may not help the situation> ( ) Hi All, Need Help> > I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want > to know if anyone has any ideas.> > He has started to take his sisters underwear and is

wearing them around > the house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house > but he is definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him > his own girls underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he > adamantly refuses that but he still keeps taking his sisters.> > I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't > tell me why he=2> 0is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his > sister is running out of underwear because he is hiding them around his > room instead of putting them into the laundry.> > What do I do now?> > Vickie>

[Guest guest]

Oh, wow! You are really doing a great job as a Mom! Give yourself a treat or a break in the day for all of your hard work in meeting a few "extra" challenges than most moms would have in a typical week!

From: baneline1 <baneline1@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Hi All, Need Help Date: Thursday, September 24, 2009, 10:22 AM

Thanks for all the input. After all the worrying about how to handle this it turns out that he was using the underwear to pee in so he wouldn't have to walk to the bathroom. He wouldn't tell me because he knows that I will get upset about not using the bathroom. This has been an issue on and off for a while and it is getting really old. Interesting is that I was not as upset about it as I should have been because its not to often that you get to be thankful that the biggest problem you are facing is your 11 year old peeing in his pants when you were worried that you were facing some sort of fetish.Our lives would be sooo boring without our kids idiosyncrasies. It is all about trying to stay just one step ahead.Vickie>> it is likely a fetish, hopefully temporary... ...so, boy underwear may not help the situation> ( ) Hi All, Need Help> > I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and want > to know if anyone has any ideas.> > He has started to take his sisters underwear and is

wearing them around > the house. So far as I know he is not wearing them out of the house > but he is definitely embarrassed about it. I have offered to buy him > his own girls underwear if he is more comfortable in them and he > adamantly refuses that but he still keeps taking his sisters.> > I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty thing but he won't > tell me why he=2> 0is wearing them. My big problem with this is that his > sister is running out of underwear because he is hiding them around his > room instead of putting them into the laundry.> > What do I do now?> > Vickie>

[Guest guest]

I didn't see as the cause for doing it was apparent. I would draw the

line on wearing girls undies and stealing from his sister. Then if it

is more than that, she should find a therapist and figure out how to

deal with it.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) Hi All, Need Help

s likely a fetish, hopefully temporary......so,

boy underwear may not help the situation

( ) Hi All, Need

Help

I have a new issue that has popped up with my 11 year old son and

want

to know if anyone has any ideas.

He has started to take his

sisters underwear and is wearing them around

the house. So far as I know

he is not wearing them out of the house

but he is definitely embarrassed

about it. I have offered to buy him

his own girls underwear if he is more

comfortable in them and he

adamantly refuses that but he still keeps

taking his sisters.

I am guessing that this is a sensory and/or puberty

thing but he won't

tell me why he=2

0is wearing them. My big problem

with this is that his

sister is running out of underwear because he is

hiding them around his

room instead of putting them into the

laundry.

What do I do now?

Vickie