Re: Re: Telling other kids

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all the response on this, I'll give it a bash n let you know how we get on.

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Thursday, 17 September, 2009, 2:40 PM

I think it might be good to explain that he's upset because some six year olds won't like this game asperger syndrome or not. I always answered questions honestly and even if seemed really different, which he did, the kids would have an answer rather than coming to their own conclusions. When kids came to their own conclusions and often when adults come to their own conclusions they just think is bad. But when I talk to people, explain his behavior, help them understand, help them get that is also not the only kid with these kinds of differences, then the information is used and generalized in a way that makes everything easier. Once a little girl asked me, "Why does hide under his desk in math?" I told her that he has some trouble knowing what is around him and how far away things are but that if he hides under the desk he can touch everything around him and it makes him feel safe. Then she continued talking to and playing

with and was completely comfortable. She also knew she could ask me questions without me being upset and that I'd answer her honestly.Another kid in 4th grade asked me, "Is asperger syndrome something to be ashamed of?" I told him that it wasn't, that was born that way and that it affected his social skills. I explained that some people are really good at being with other people and some people are better with math. is good at math but not at dealing with people. The boy said, " should take a class in social skills." Then I told him that was taking a social skills class already. It sounds like he's being mean here, but really, this kid was very sweet and trying to be helpful and as long as his tone of voice and body language led me to believe he just wanted to understand and to help I was more than happy to answer without scolding him for how the questions happened to come out. He was very friendly with prior to this

and continued to be friendly with afterwards.Of course telling other kids can go wrong and sometimes it's hard to tell which kids will be rotten about it but when they're only 6 years old most of them haven't developed much malice yet. Teach them now because I think it can get harder later. You don't have to use labels. Just say, "well, he has a hard time with... just like some people have a hard time with math or spelling." It won't seem like a big deal then.MiriamMiriam>> Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two

of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?>

[Guest guest]

This just happened at the beginning of Summer. Even the police was involved over a lie that the kid told to his mother. Now my sone stays inside at all times. He had a very boring Summer without nobody to play with. We made an extra effort to play, watch movies and be together after we came home from work. There are new kids on the block, but the boy plays with them and he has just poisoned everyone against our son. They are in the same grade and school, so the kid is telling his version to other kids and they have questioned my kid.

It is awful and I hate it. I wish I can move, but bullies seems to find our kids no matter where we go. This experience was terrible for my kid and we used it to try and teach him a lesson on how people will pretend to be your friend but turn on you. That it is important to be smart but also to be street smart.

My kid is a lonely kid. Explaining his particular problem does not help him with the adult since everyone seems to be blinded to their kids faults.

I am sorry I don't have any helpful advise, but your are not alone and at least we can vent our frustrations here.

Ide

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...> Sent: Sunday, September 20, 2009 10:07:23 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?" He

answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game

is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

Jeeze, change the names and I could be writing that, my son couldn't even run from the house to the car without a couple of kids shouting at him and calling him names usually baby, even if I am with him. One headbutted him in the face last year and Gregor still wanted to play with him.

It seems to me that a lot of the kids where I live lack parent attention, so me and Gregor spend a lot of time playing in the garden and washing the car, of course getting soaked, and these other kids are always asking if they can join in and play and Gregor says no your don't play nicely. Its great seeing him turn the tables and telling them they can't play.

And why don't our husbands get it?

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"

He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same

girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

The kids are asking if they can play and you think it's good that Gregor says no? I see that as a missed opportunity for you to monitor Gregor's involvement w/ these neighborhood kids and direct play in a positive way. If the kids are asking to play and you are right there, why wouldn't you encourage it? It sounds to me like you've got a large chip on your shoulder and I understand how it got there, but you might think about how it impacts Gregor's ability to establish relationships in the outside world.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...> Sent: Monday, September 21, 2009 3:47:06 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids

Jeeze, change the names and I could be writing that, my son couldn't even run from the house to the car without a couple of kids shouting at him and calling him names usually baby, even if I am with him. One headbutted him in the face last year and Gregor still wanted to play with him.

It seems to me that a lot of the kids where I live lack parent attention, so me and Gregor spend a lot of time playing in the garden and washing the car, of course getting soaked, and these other kids are always asking if they can join in and play and Gregor says no your don't play nicely. Its great seeing him turn the tables and telling them they can't play.

And why don't our husbands get it?

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"

He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the

three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

Once again we will have to agree to disagree, if you let your children play with kids that have headbutted them in the face and called them names, thats up to you. I prefer my son to have the confidence to say no to the children that have not been nice to him. Then when he is older he'll know he can say no to people that don't treat him properly and it won't be the end of the world.

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Monday, 21 September, 2009, 1:04 PM

The kids are asking if they can play and you think it's good that Gregor says no? I see that as a missed opportunity for you to monitor Gregor's involvement w/ these neighborhood kids and direct play in a positive way. If the kids are asking to play and you are right there, why wouldn't you encourage it? It sounds to me like you've got a large chip on your shoulder and I understand how it got there, but you might think about how it impacts Gregor's ability to establish relationships in the outside world.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@ .co. uk> Sent: Monday, September 21, 2009 3:47:06 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids

Jeeze, change the names and I could be writing that, my son couldn't even run from the house to the car without a couple of kids shouting at him and calling him names usually baby, even if I am with him. One headbutted him in the face last year and Gregor still wanted to play with him.

It seems to me that a lot of the kids where I live lack parent attention, so me and Gregor spend a lot of time playing in the garden and washing the car, of course getting soaked, and these other kids are always asking if they can join in and play and Gregor says no your don't play nicely. Its great seeing him turn the tables and telling them they can't play.

And why don't our husbands get it?

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"

He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the

three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

Good Morning ,

your post really caught my attention. You really made a good point in your response to the other post. But I was wondering if you still feel the same way IF she were to let the other children join in with the fun her & her son are having together with the water washing their car, getting wet, enjoying themselves and If she were to let them join in - lets say they all got along together for the moment, had their fun and the next day went right back to their rude ways by making fun of her son and talking about him again continuing to turn other kids away from him. (she said they would do it right in front of her) What if the mom knew it would go in this negative direction as soon as the water fun was over.

Would it still be worth including those kids? Kids that lack parent attention don't change (by themselves) they need their parents to guide them in the right direction. but don't have that. So this is the way they get their attention. in a negative way. they feel popular by turning others against this one child. they are in control and getting attention they lack from home. I see this all the time. Parents never - ever checking on their kids. their kids will stay over for breakfast, lunch & dinner then ask to sleep over without their parents ever, not once checking in on them.

IMO, that would work in some situations but not in my neighborhood. I've tried this several times to have it always end in a negative situation. this one girl, she would call for my kids every day until this bully girl was home - once home that girl was also mean to my kids. She stayed with the bully girl and did anything she told her to do. when the bully girl went on vacation - here she was back at our home. I did explain this to my kids and even brought it to their attention as it was happening - and they saw. In my situation I would do the same as with the mom in the other post only because I've tried and agreed with what you said but in my situation it only works for the moment. I think that mom is leading her son in the right direction and he can still have fun even without having to put up with that bullying. Friends are so important to have but no friends are better then

bad friends.

maybe she can supervise, have fun with washing their car, playing with the water but include different kids - maybe from the YMCA, her church, family members, or ever her co-workers kids.

Rose

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Sent: Monday, September 21, 2009 8:04:40 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids

The kids are asking if they can play and you think it's good that Gregor says no? I see that as a missed opportunity for you to monitor Gregor's involvement w/ these neighborhood kids and direct play in a positive way. If the kids are asking to play and you are right there, why wouldn't you encourage it? It sounds to me like you've got a large chip on your shoulder and I understand how it got there, but you might think about how it impacts Gregor's ability to establish relationships in the outside world.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@ .co. uk> Sent: Monday, September 21, 2009 3:47:06 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids

Jeeze, change the names and I could be writing that, my son couldn't even run from the house to the car without a couple of kids shouting at him and calling him names usually baby, even if I am with him. One headbutted him in the face last year and Gregor still wanted to play with him.

It seems to me that a lot of the kids where I live lack parent attention, so me and Gregor spend a lot of time playing in the garden and washing the car, of course getting soaked, and these other kids are always asking if they can join in and play and Gregor says no your don't play nicely. Its great seeing him turn the tables and telling them they can't play.

And why don't our husbands get it?

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"

He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the

three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

Yes, and don't even get me started on my husband.......

( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?" He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I was right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE it couldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

This is exactly what happens, as soon as my back is turned or another kids comes out it is back to the usual sport for these kids which is bullying my son, I think it is better for my son to tell them they can't play. There are a couple of girls that play better with my son and whenever they come around they do get to come in and play.

And you are absolutely right about the parental influence, these kids seem to be an inconvenience to their parents and they seem to spend little time checking where they are and what they are doing.

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"

He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the

three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

Well, I sure disagree. When my ds says he won't go down the hill to

play with those kids, I am relieved and happy he learned. There are

other kids he can play with who are not monsters. lol. If these kids

are hitting Gregor and calling him names, I don't think they are good

kids to play with, do you? She also said they yell this stuff at him

while she is there. I know that feeling! I've had these neighbor kids

here who are just awful and do not care if an adult is there - they'll

be brats regardless. They have no respect and are not worried about

getting in trouble - at least not here.

One time a long while back, my older ds was outside " playing " with the

neighbor kids. I kept watching out the window from time to time

because I did not trust the other kids - they were mean to my ds. Sure

enough, I look out at one point and one of the boys grabbed my ds and

yanked him off his bike, proceeding to pound him. My ds had no clue

what to do so he sort of just stood there, taking it. Then laying on

the ground taking it...by the time I was running out of the house. I

grabbed the other kid off of my kid and yelled, " Go home! Never touch

him again! " I wish I could have ripped his head off. But I kept a

semblance of control. Anyway, 15 minutes later, this huge man shows up

at my door and begins screaming and cursing at me fo

r " touching " his

son and how dare I and blah blah blah. The fact that his kid was the

one beating mine up was not the problem - the fact that I pulled him

off of my kid was the problem. lol. Oh man. What a welcome to the

neighborhood for us. He was threatening me, going to call the police

on me for touching his kid, and on and on he went. I was on the phone

with my dh at the time telling him what just happened so he got to hear

the whole conversation. I finally told the guy to get lost (not that

nicely, though) and that if his kid was pounding ANY kid within my

vision, I would pull him off again.

I think it's a very good lesson to teach our kids how to tell if other

kids are nice or not nice and to recognize why not to play with some

kids. Our kids might keep going back and keep getting hurt because

they don't recognize a bad situation or realize they are being used or

abused by other kids. I'm all for teaching them to recognize this and

learning to stay away from it. If you have a strong kid who can stand

up for himself, then work on that skill. But the kids I have seen are

usually not strong this way, usually don't recognize they are being

teased and usually go back for more because they want a friend so

badly.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " =2

0E. Burke

( ) Re: Telling other kids

Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

 

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our

next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him

" My Hero " for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to

play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became

" base " . was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't

getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was

vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what

happened.

One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my

husband let them in for a while.

The boys were playing in our

" jump-o-lene " (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as

expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid

did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect

human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I

asked , " What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that? "

He answered, " Liam did that before I hit him. " had never bitten

anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid.

still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit

and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day

right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going

berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt

and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it.

STILL didn't get it.

One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts

fights. " Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, " Oh, okay, we'll

go somewhere else and play. " The kid tried to take back what he'd said.

Another day the kid said, " I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball

because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the

window. " Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.

The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and20 wanted

to be out there. I told my husband, " Don't let him go to Liam's house. "

A bit later my husband came in and said, " I thought you should know

is at Liam's house. " I ran out of the house as fast as my legs

would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to

get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they

were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he

would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam

yell, " Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball! " started

crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely

broken.

I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam

shout, " Baby, baby " . I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud

voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come

over here, these kids don't play nicely! " I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was

going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on

. A few seconds later I hear Liam say, " I didn't do nuthin'! "

Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted " baby

baby " at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and

black pen and you could just feel the anger.

was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty =0

D

run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, " My son

would NEVER do that. " Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional.

The mom told me, " Your kid is the one with the problem. " I made a

mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've

never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were

immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from

happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even

when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.

One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to

shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in

the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact

revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and

acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip

and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.

Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm

sure they're just as happy about that as we are.

Miriam

> >

> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they

get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its

great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is

in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden,

usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my

son to chase the

three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I

genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and

says they won't play and is quite upset.

> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without

making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play

together?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oh I just said that in a long winded way. lol. I agree with you.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Re: Telling other kids

Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

 

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our

next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him

" My Hero " for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to

play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became

" base " . was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't

getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was

vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what

happened.

One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my

husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our

" jump-o-lene " (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as

expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid

did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect

human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I

asked , " What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that? "

He answered, " Liam did that before I hit him. " had never bitten

anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid.

still didn't get this kid was mea

n. He would sneak up and hit

and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day

right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going

berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt

and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it.

STILL didn't get it.

One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts

fights. " Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, " Oh, okay, we'll

go somewhere else and play. " The kid tried to take back what he'd said.

Another day the kid said, " I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball

because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the

window. " Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.

The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted

to be out there. I told my husband, " Don't let him go to Liam's house. "

A bit later my husband came in and said, " I thought you should know

is at Liam's house. " I ran out of the house as fast as my legs

would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to

get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they

were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he

would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam

yell, " Hit him with the ball, hit him with=2

0the ball! " started

crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely

broken.

I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam

shout, " Baby, baby " . I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud

voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come

over here, these kids don't play nicely! " I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was

going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on

. A few seconds later I hear Liam say, " I didn't do nuthin'! "

Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted " baby

baby " at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and

black pen and you could just feel the anger.

was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty

run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, " My son

would NEVER do that. " Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional.

The mom told me, " Your kid is the one with the problem. " I made a

mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've

never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were

immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from

happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even

when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.

One day the boys had the

ir super soakers out. The label says not to

shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in

the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact

revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and

acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip

and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.

Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm

sure they're just as happy about that as we are.

Miriam

> >

> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?

> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they

get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its

great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my=2

0son, one is

in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden,

usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my

son to chase the

three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I

genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and

says they won't play and is quite upset.

> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without

making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play

together?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I missed somewhere that the children Lorraine was talking about had beaten up her son before. I thought there had been some name calling so I thought, since she was outside playing w/ Gregor at the time, it might be good to allow the kids to play with them. I wouldn't of suggested it if she wasn't there, even if it was just the name calling. I know how much names can hurt. But from what I knew, there were kids who previously verbally harrassed her son to some degree, now asking to play with him (and he's 6, right?) and she was there to supervise so give it a shot.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Monday, September 21, 2009 11:46:07 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids

Well, I sure disagree. When my ds says he won't go down the hill to play with those kids, I am relieved and happy he learned. There are other kids he can play with who are not monsters. lol. If these kids are hitting Gregor and calling him names, I don't think they are good kids to play with, do you? She also said they yell this stuff at him while she is there. I know that feeling! I've had these neighbor kids here who are just awful and do not care if an adult is there - they'll be brats regardless. They have no respect and are not worried about getting in trouble - at least not here.One time a long while back, my older ds was outside "playing" with the neighbor kids. I kept watching out the window from time to time because I did not trust the other kids - they were mean to my ds. Sure enough, I look out at one point and one of the boys grabbed my ds and yanked him off his bike, proceeding to

pound him. My ds had no clue what to do so he sort of just stood there, taking it. Then laying on the ground taking it...by the time I was running out of the house. I grabbed the other kid off of my kid and yelled, "Go home! Never touch him again!" I wish I could have ripped his head off. But I kept a semblance of control. Anyway, 15 minutes later, this huge man shows up at my door and begins screaming and cursing at me for "touching" his son and how dare I and blah blah blah. The fact that his kid was the one beating mine up was not the problem - the fact that I pulled him off of my kid was the problem. lol. Oh man. What a welcome to the neighborhood for us. He was threatening me, going to call the police on me for touching his kid, and on and on he went. I was on the phone with my dh at the time telling him what just happened so he got to hear the whole conversation. I finally told the guy to get

lost (not that nicely, though) and that if his kid was pounding ANY kid within my vision, I would pull him off again.I think it's a very good lesson to teach our kids how to tell if other kids are nice or not nice and to recognize why not to play with some kids. Our kids might keep going back and keep getting hurt because they don't recognize a bad situation or realize they are being used or abused by other kids. I'm all for teaching them to recognize this and learning to stay away from it. If you have a strong kid who can stand up for himself, then work on that skill. But the kids I have seen are usually not strong this way, usually don't recognize they are being teased and usually go back for more because they want a friend so badly. Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." =20E. Burke-----Original

Message-----From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com> Sent: Mon, Sep 21, 2009 8:04 amSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kidsThe kids are asking if they can play and you think it's good that Gregor says no? I see that as a missed opportunity for you to monitor Gregor' s involvement w/ these neighborhood kids and direct play in a positive way. If the kids are asking to play and you are right there, why wouldn't you encourage it? It sounds to me like you've got a large chip on your shoulder and I understand how it got there, but you might think about how it impacts Gregor's ability

to establish relationships in the outside world. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@ .co. uk> Sent: Monday, September 21, 2009 3:47:06 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Jeeze, change the names and I could be writing that, my son couldn't even run from the house to the car without a couple of kids shouting at him and calling him names usually baby, even

if I am with him. One headbutted him in the face last year and Gregor still wanted to play with him. It seems to me that a lot of the kids where I live lack parent attention, so me and Gregor spend a lot of time playing in the garden and washing the car, of course getting soaked, and these other kids are always asking if they can join in and play and Gregor says no your don't play nicely. Its great seeing him turn the tables and telling them they can't play.And why don't our husbands get it?From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@ . com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and

thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while.The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"He answered, "Liam did that before I hit

him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that

made get it... My husband was outside washing the car and20 wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you

to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I wasright next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty =0Drun-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and

keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE itcouldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase thethree of them and they hide in the

play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

Bravo for you! Bravo for you!!!!! My husband, I must admit, does do a lot with our son. He does throw the ball, go on bike rides, take him to the pool, etc. But, I just love what your son said...no, you don't play nice....Kudos to him!!!!

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"

He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the

three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

Reading those last few post Jan it really sounds like things are getting back on an even keel for you, well done. I think we all get those moments when things come to a head and we need a good shout. It must be hard when you had the same experience when you where younger, brings it all back up.

I'm hoping that if Gregor can recognise traits in the boys he says no to, it might help him spot them in others in the future. I just wish I knew why NT kids are SO bad to our kids.

On a lighter note, when I said my son can fart without me knowing, the same is true the other way around, the only time Gregor is not at my side is the 4 hrs a week I spend at the gym, last night after I got home from the gym I had a shower, he spent this time helpfully chucking jugs of cold water at me because he thought the shower looked too hot!!! lol

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM

Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while. The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"

He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made

get it... My husband was outside washing the car and wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I was

right next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty run-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE it

couldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase the

three of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

Roxanna, that is exactly how I feel, if my son can learn not to play with kids that treat him badly hopefully this is a strength he can develop, as your son has. From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@ . com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date:

Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while.The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder

which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball

because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made get it... My husband was outside washing the car and20 wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard

Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play nicely!" I wasright next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty =0Drun-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated

for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE itcouldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same

girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase thethree of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

We are undesided who it comes from, my husband is very neat and organsied, alway checking things, bad at problem solving, I am unorganised, don't even wear matching socks am always loosing things and knocking things over, but am good at problem solving. Both of us were bullied at school, as an adult I haven't realised I am being bullied until someone points it out, I miss all the office gossip, just goes straight over my head. I am glad we found each other, we might never have enough money, or the poshest house on the street, but godammit we have a laugh!

From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Monday, 21 September, 2009, 8:40 PM

ROFL. Yeah, my husband has some asperger traits too and I think he also has some ODD (oppositional defiance). He just CAN'T seem to take direction. My son has actually surpassed my husband in some social skill things. Well, dad has had asperger traits since birth but didn't have anyone around him who got it until my son had his dx. My son has been getting help from me since he was born so it makes sense that he would eventually learn things that are not so easy for my husband.Miriam>> Yes, and don't even get me started on my husband..... ..> Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids> > >

[Guest guest]

Lorraine,

Like I said, I didn't realize you were referring to children who had physically injured your son. I thought we were talking about some name calling from 6-yr-old kids. Roxanna's story is different because she wasn't physically right there with her child like you were. I totally understand why you'd want to teach your children to avoid kids who are mean when they are by themselves.

If we had been talking about name calling, I'd still stand by my idea. I guess I saw this as an opportunity to try and make things better. We can't really expect young children to know how to interpret and react appropriately all of the time to children who aren't like them, can we? If their parents aren't going to step in help, I think it's up to us to do it. So instead of labeling these children in a negative way right off the bat, give them another chance with some intervention on your end. What's the worse that can happen? They don't change at all? At least you know you tried and your child will see this too. It can also be a good discussion point. Maybe they don't turn into friends with your son, but maybe they see enough that they don't pick on him anymore. Who knows. I just think we have to be open-minded to help other children

understand our kids and talk things out at times. It might be what the other kids needed to see/hear to minimally stop picking on your child.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...> Sent: Tuesday, September 22, 2009 5:33:14 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Telling other kids

Roxanna, that is exactly how I feel, if my son can learn not to play with kids that treat him badly hopefully this is a strength he can develop, as your son has. From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@ . com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called

him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while.The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone

prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made get it... My husband was outside

washing the car and20 wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play

nicely!" I wasright next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty =0Drun-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because

wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE itcouldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase thethree of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I

genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>

[Guest guest]

Thanks ,

I guess I am a bit guilty of one strike and your out, I often walk into a room with new kids and feel I can instantly tell with ones are going to react badly to Gregor before he's even "joined in". More often than not I am right. But yeah, I'll try n ease up.

Cheers

Lor BFrom: mimasdprofile <callis4773@ . com>Subject: ( ) Re: Telling other kids Date: Sunday, 20 September, 2009, 4:07 PM Reminds me of a kid we knew when was 3-4 years old. He was our next-door neighbor and thought he was THE BEST. called

him "My Hero" for a while. But this kid was not nice. He always wanted to play tag knowing that couldn't catch him. Then EVERYTHING became "base". was fairly good-natured about it at the time. He wasn't getting that he was being teased. This kid could see was vulnerable, a perfect victim who couldn't tell his side of what happened.One day when I wasn't home this kid and his mom came over and my husband let them in for a while.The boys were playing in our "jump-o-lene" (inflatable thing but not a bounce house,nowhere near as expensive). Apparently, punched the boy. Nobody saw what the kid did to and I didn't find out until bath time. had a perfect human child bite on his shoulder which looked like it drew blood. I asked , "What is that on your shoulder? How did you get that?"He answered, "Liam did that before I hit him." had never bitten anyone

prior to this but he started doing it thanks to this rotten kid. still didn't get this kid was mean. He would sneak up and hit and have all the kids run away from him. decked him for it one day right in front of his mother. Of course this looked like going berserk for no reason. Later I found out Liam had hit him on the butt and had planned everyone to run from him. It was so sad. I hated it. STILL didn't get it.One day Liam told us, " isn't allowed in our yard because he starts fights." Lovely. wanted to play with him. I said, "Oh, okay, we'll go somewhere else and play." The kid tried to take back what he'd said.Another day the kid said, "I'm not allowed to bring out my baseball because my dad said might go crazy and throw it through the window." Yeah this wasn't just about the kid.The final thing that made get it... My husband was outside

washing the car and20 wanted to be out there. I told my husband, "Don't let him go to Liam's house." A bit later my husband came in and said, "I thought you should know is at Liam's house." I ran out of the house as fast as my legs would allow. By the time I got there was jumping around trying to get a turn with a ball. There were about 10 kids there because they were having a party. was only 4 and totally couldn't get that he would be perceived as trying to take the ball from them. I heard Liam yell, "Hit him with the ball, hit him with the ball!" started crying and he knew. He knew Liam was mean and his heart was completely broken.I picked up and walked away. As we were walking I heard Liam shout, "Baby, baby". I was holding as he wailed and said in a loud voice so he could hear me, " this is why I don't like you to come over here, these kids don't play

nicely!" I wasright next to a bunch of parents who all scrambled to see what was going on. LOL. I didn't intend for them to hear this, I was focused on . A few seconds later I hear Liam say, "I didn't do nuthin'!" Whatever. I'd have been more sympathetic if he hadn't shouted "baby baby" at us. Poor . He was so angry he drew this picture in red and black pen and you could just feel the anger. was never friends with Liam after that and we had many nasty =0Drun-ins with the parents. The mom always said things like, "My son would NEVER do that." Avoid this type of parent. They are delusional. The mom told me, "Your kid is the one with the problem." I made a mistake in telling her about having him evaluated for autism. We've never had so much trouble with anyone else but these parents were immature and stupid. I did my best to supervise and keep things from happening because

wanted to play with this kid so badly, but even when I was RIGHT THERE itcouldn't be prevented.One day the boys had their super soakers out. The label says not to shoot people at close range or in the face. This kid shot right in the face from about 5 inches away. 's lip bled. tried to exact revenge and I did my best to prevent it. Then Liam's MOM got mad and acted like was the one who was being mean. I showed her 's lip and she wouldn't believe the super soaker DID that. GRRRR.Oh well, we moved and we don't have to deal with them any more and I'm sure they're just as happy about that as we are.Miriam> >> > Has anyone got any hints on how to tell other kids?> > My son is 6, he regularly goes to play with a 3yr old girl and they get on like a house on fire, the two of them laugh til they cry, its great. The problem is 2 girls that are the same age as my son, one is in his class, have started playing with the same girl in her garden, usually they are find with my son. But their favourite game is for my son to chase thethree of them and they hide in the play house and won't let him in. I

genuinly don't think there is any malice in it, but Gregor comes in and says they won't play and is quite upset.> > How do I tell the girls that are the same age as him, without making him seem really different, or do I just ask them to all play together?> >>