Re: Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

[Guest guest]

My daughter is 9 and she hisses at family members when she is mad and when she is really happy/content she rubs against me and purrs. She is also obsessed with our 2 cats. Don't know if this helps at all.

Becky

From: bridget <beanniferj@...> Sent: Mon, August 30, 2010 12:08:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Hi Ashton,How old is your son? My guy is just about 3 years old (later this week) and he often pretends to be a baby cat. There is lots of meowing and cuddling when the "cat" comes around, so it is generally a welcome thing. He does a really loud meow that alarms people who are not familiar with it, although it is usually a happy sound.Bridget> >> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman

obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > > > Thanks,> > > >>

[Guest guest]



My daughter used to do the same.

( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Hi Ashton,How old is your son? My guy is just about 3 years old (later this week) and he often pretends to be a baby cat. There is lots of meowing and cuddling when the "cat" comes around, so it is generally a welcome thing. He does a really loud meow that alarms people who are not familiar with it, although it is usually a happy sound.Bridget> >> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > > > Thanks,> > > >>

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[Guest guest]

It really can be a therapeutic thing. My watching of Back to the Future over and over as a kid was therapeutic because I identified with Doc Brown. Don’t take the obsession away from your child. It will go away when it is ready. Instead, create a “safe zone” for it to thrive.

On 8/29/10 9:48 PM, " AshtonCA " <ashtonca@...> wrote:

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

I completely agree with not taking the obsession! I know this is probably not quite what you meant but I have to share. My daughter is 4 now and at 18 months I bought a used onsie for her. It was originally from old navy. She loved it so much she wanted to wear it all the time. She would rub her lips on the sleeve to put herself to sleep. Anyway 2 years later it is looking horrible and how do we take it now we wondered. She no longer fits in it she carries it around. Well I noticed that she wasn't asking for "shirt-shirt" and was using a new blanket in her room that has been in there since birth. I started hiding "shirt-shirt" and she would find it around the house. then one day I took it. It took her 3 days to ask for it. I told her she was a big girl and didn't need it anymore but she

still had that blanket. She didn't cry. She just listened. then I offered her a book to read and she took to that. (she loves to read) it has been 3 weeks now and it is really gone for good. We weaned her in a sense but she also weaned herself. You see she was only using it lately because it was in sight. One time she came to me and said where is "shirt-shirt"? I was about to tell her again and she said I want to be small again. It did make me feel for her but she still didn't cry and did move on. I am super relieved because there was no way that thing was going to make it much longer. sometimes with our careful eyes and our children's growth things do work themselves out.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

My 4 year old child who doesn't have aspergers likes a lot. He likes to watch the videos over and over. I think sometimes they like what is familiar. I have not considered that a problem with this child. It has seemed age-appropriate. Now, I have a 14 year old Aspergers boy who is still into Transformers toys. All the kids his age have moved on. Right now we have moved to Dr. Who which seems a little more age appropriate. I don't know what the right answer is, but I just haven't worried about it with my four old at all.Deana in alSent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: Pruden <missypruden@...>Sender: Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said,"Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc. So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle. ~ P. Hi ,My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little. I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety. Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten. Ashton>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> >Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

How long are the episodes and how often does he watch them? If they’re more than a half hour, I’d say limit it to once a week.

Also, his emotional reaction might be an odd nostalgia... Exactly like you said, seeing a friend he hasn’t seen in a long time. Remember, Aspies are in a world of “things” not people.

On 8/31/10 5:11 PM, " smacalli@... " <smacalli@...> wrote:

Give him his trains and his movie. I can't tell you how many times I watched Pooh's Grand Adventure when my son was a little boy. He Loved it! I could probably quote most of the video at one point. We also had I Love Toy Trains videos and all sorts of Tank engines, track, play table, etc... My son played with all of it, all of the time, but he dropped it a couple of years later. He has no affinity to trains now, at the age of 14.

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From: Pruden <missypruden@...>

Sender:

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)

< >

Reply

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, " Hello ! I am so glad you are here! " It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ( " when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about " ) but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

And if she wants to keep it as a souvenir, let her. I kept a Bart Simpson shirt from when I was 10 that sure as hell doesn’t fit me. Sentimental value!

On 8/31/10 10:56 AM, " Christiansen " <cathychristiansen84@...> wrote:

I completely agree with not taking the obsession! I know this is probably not quite what you meant but I have to share. My daughter is 4 now and at 18 months I bought a used onsie for her. It was originally from old navy. She loved it so much she wanted to wear it all the time. She would rub her lips on the sleeve to put herself to sleep. Anyway 2 years later it is looking horrible and how do we take it now we wondered. She no longer fits in it she carries it around. Well I noticed that she wasn't asking for " shirt-shirt " and was using a new blanket in her room that has been in there since birth. I started hiding " shirt-shirt " and she would find it around the house. then one day I took it. It took her 3 days to ask for it. I told her she was a big girl and didn't need it anymore but she still had that blanket. She didn't cry. She just listened. then I offered her a book to read and she took to that. (she loves to read) it has been 3 weeks now and it is really gone for good. We weaned her in a sense but she also weaned herself. You see she was only using it lately because it was in sight. One time she came to me and said where is " shirt-shirt " ? I was about to tell her again and she said I want to be small again. It did make me feel for her but she still didn't cry and did move on. I am super relieved because there was no way that thing was going to make it much longer. sometimes with our careful eyes and our children's growth things do work themselves out.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Why is there this preoccupation of what’s age appropriate? First of all, do you know how many ADULTS collect toys? Secondly, if he’s playing with toys, then isn’t he exercising his creativity? BTW I bet if a kid with Down Syndrome played with toys at age 14, people would say, “Oh, that’s okay, because his IQ is below average.” But if a kid with AS does it? It’s “inappropriate.” Why? Because he’s intelligent? Let’s raise our consciousness!

On 8/31/10 5:22 PM, " deabakcp@... " <deabakcp@...> wrote:

My 4 year old child who doesn't have aspergers likes a lot. He likes to watch the videos over and over. I think sometimes they like what is familiar. I have not considered that a problem with this child. It has seemed age-appropriate. Now, I have a 14 year old Aspergers boy who is still into Transformers toys. All the kids his age have moved on. Right now we have moved to Dr. Who which seems a little more age appropriate. I don't know what the right answer is, but I just haven't worried about it with my four old at all.

Deana in al

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

From: Pruden <missypruden@...>

Sender:

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)

< >

Reply

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, " Hello ! I am so glad you are here! " It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ( " when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about " ) but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

I don't agree that "Aspies are in a world of 'things' not people." I don't think you can make that statement across the board for all. Makes it sound like they either don't want or can't have human connections and for at least some of them, they can.

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...> Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 5:34:10 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

How long are the episodes and how often does he watch them? If they’re more than a half hour, I’d say limit it to once a week. Also, his emotional reaction might be an odd nostalgia... Exactly like you said, seeing a friend he hasn’t seen in a long time. Remember, Aspies are in a world of “things†not people.On 8/31/10 5:11 PM, "smacalli@..." <smacalli@...> wrote:

Give him his trains and his movie. I can't tell you how many times I watched Pooh's Grand Adventure when my son was a little boy. He Loved it! I could probably quote most of the video at one point. We also had I Love Toy Trains videos and all sorts of Tank engines, track, play table, etc... My son played with all of it, all of the time, but he dropped it a couple of years later. He has no affinity to trains now, at the age of 14.Sent via BlackBerry by AT

From: Pruden <missypruden@...> Sender: Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So,

we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, "Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc. So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to

completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle. ~ P.

Hi ,My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little. I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety. Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten. Ashton>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help

me with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

Okay, well rather I meant that we are more interested in “things” than the average person.

On 8/31/10 11:49 PM, " MacAllister " <smacalli@...> wrote:

I don't agree that " Aspies are in a world of 'things' not people. " I don't think you can make that statement across the board for all. Makes it sound like they either don't want or can't have human connections and for at least some of them, they can.

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 5:34:10 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

How long are the episodes and how often does he watch them? If they’re more than a half hour, I’d say limit it to once a week.

Also, his emotional reaction might be an odd nostalgia... Exactly like you said, seeing a friend he hasn’t seen in a long time. Remember, Aspies are in a world of “things” not people.

On 8/31/10 5:11 PM, " smacalli@... " <smacalli@...> wrote:

Give him his trains and his movie. I can't tell you how many times I watched Pooh's Grand Adventure when my son was a little boy. He Loved it! I could probably quote most of the video at one point. We also had I Love Toy Trains videos and all sorts of Tank engines, track, play table, etc... My son played with all of it, all of the time, but he dropped it a couple of years later. He has no affinity to trains now, at the age of 14.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT

From: Pruden <missypruden@...>

Sender:

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)

< >

Reply

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, " Hello ! I am so glad you are here! " It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ( " when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about " ) but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

When I was talking about toys being age appropriate for my 14 year old son, I didn't mean I am against it at all. That being said, one of his biggest disappointments is that he doesn't fit in. Playing with transformers doesn't help that at all. I just want him to be happy and have friends if he wants. I have always let my kids play with whatever they wanted.Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>Sender: Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:06:47 -0400< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? Why is there this preoccupation of what’s age appropriate? First of all, do you know how many ADULTS collect toys? Secondly, if he’s playing with toys, then isn’t he exercising his creativity? BTW I bet if a kid with Down Syndrome played with toys at age 14, people would say, “Oh, that’s okay, because his IQ is below average.” But if a kid with AS does it? It’s “inappropriate.” Why? Because he’s intelligent? Let’s raise our consciousness! On 8/31/10 5:22 PM, " deabakcp@... " <deabakcp@...> wrote: My 4 year old child who doesn't have aspergers likes a lot. He likes to watch the videos over and over. I think sometimes they like what is familiar. I have not considered that a problem with this child. It has seemed age-appropriate. Now, I have a 14 year old Aspergers boy who is still into Transformers toys. All the kids his age have moved on. Right now we have moved to Dr. Who which seems a little more age appropriate. I don't know what the right answer is, but I just haven't worried about it with my four old at all.Deana in alSent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: Pruden <missypruden@...> Sender: Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, " Hello ! I am so glad you are here! " It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc. So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ( " when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about " ) but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle. ~ P. Hi ,My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little. I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety. Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten. Ashton>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

I call that hyperfocused. and yes my husband and daughter are very much that way about many things where you would think I just don't care. I do care just not as extremely as they do.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son is 7 and he still loves . The kids in his class tease him about it. I explained to him that it is a show that younger kids watch. He said he loves it and I will not stop him from seeing something that he so enjoys. As long as it is not something that could hurt him why should I punish him by taking it away. Just because other people don't think it is normal. What makes them so normal. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: "missypruden" <missypruden@...>Sender: Date: Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:40:07 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? I don't want to take the toys or books away from him. I just don't know what to do about the movies/videos. When he watches it too often it starts to pervade all of his thoughts. He used to use a huge amount of echolalia - communicating would either be directly repeating what was said to him or he would repeat phrases from books or movies. He did use those phrases uniquely and often appropriately, but they were not original thought invented on his own. Sometimes even humourously " Bust my buffers " when something didn't go as planned. I agree that liking is age appropriate (our 2yr old NT DS loves it also), I just don't want Tyler reverting back. He is actually creating his own stories when playing with his trains now. I think after reading all of your feedback I will let him watch his choice of video/movie twice a week. We are starting a 3 day a week preschool this year which he is really excited about. Thinking I will let the days be the 2 off days from school as something to look forward too when he will be a little bummed about there being no school. Thanks everyone!~ P.> >> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > > > Thanks,> > > >> >  >    >

[Guest guest]

I'm with you, . We went to a family wedding this weekend and my dd was so happy to be with her cousins. Everyone remarked on how well she seemed to be doing. She doesn't have as many friends as we would like (although she does have a few), but she does have, and want, human connections. From: smacalli@...Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 20:49:44 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I don't agree that "Aspies are in a world of 'things' not people." I don't think you can make that statement across the board for all. Makes it sound like they either don't want or can't have human connections and for at least some of them, they can.

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...> Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 5:34:10 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

How long are the episodes and how often does he watch them? If they’re more than a half hour, I’d say limit it to once a week. Also, his emotional reaction might be an odd nostalgia... Exactly like you said, seeing a friend he hasn’t seen in a long time. Remember, Aspies are in a world of “things” not people.On 8/31/10 5:11 PM, "smacalli@..." <smacalli@...> wrote:

Give him his trains and his movie. I can't tell you how many times I watched Pooh's Grand Adventure when my son was a little boy. He Loved it! I could probably quote most of the video at one point. We also had I Love Toy Trains videos and all sorts of Tank engines, track, play table, etc... My son played with all of it, all of the time, but he dropped it a couple of years later. He has no affinity to trains now, at the age of 14.Sent via BlackBerry by AT

From: Pruden <missypruden@...> Sender: Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So,

we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, "Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc. So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to

completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle. ~ P.

Hi ,My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little. I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety. Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten. Ashton>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help

me with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

I agree . I think a lot of "big" kids, and adults, would love to keep playing with toys but stop because they feel embarrassed. Well AS kids don't embarrass as easily so they just keep doing what they love. From: julie1013@...Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:06:47 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Why is there this preoccupation of what’s age appropriate? First of all, do you know how many ADULTS collect toys? Secondly, if he’s playing with toys, then isn’t he exercising his creativity? BTW I bet if a kid with Down Syndrome played with toys at age 14, people would say, “Oh, that’s okay, because his IQ is below average.” But if a kid with AS does it? It’s “inappropriate.” Why? Because he’s intelligent? Let’s raise our consciousness!

On 8/31/10 5:22 PM, "deabakcp@..." <deabakcp@...> wrote:

My 4 year old child who doesn't have aspergers likes a lot. He likes to watch the videos over and over. I think sometimes they like what is familiar. I have not considered that a problem with this child. It has seemed age-appropriate. Now, I have a 14 year old Aspergers boy who is still into Transformers toys. All the kids his age have moved on. Right now we have moved to Dr. Who which seems a little more age appropriate. I don't know what the right answer is, but I just haven't worried about it with my four old at all.

Deana in al

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

From: Pruden <missypruden@...>

Sender:

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)

< >

Reply

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, "Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

You reminded me of a conversation I had just last week with the mother of another AS kid. Our children gravitated toward each other in 3rd grade (now starting 8th) and have been best friends since. Ben was diagnosed with AS a few years ago, and my Liz just last month. But when I told Ben's mom she was not at all surprised because the kids are so much alike. Anyway, one of her comments was that "they play weird" and differently than other kids their age. But, they are happy that way and they have each other, and so be it. From: deabakcp@...Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 13:21:24 +0000Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

When I was talking about toys being age appropriate for my 14 year old son, I didn't mean I am against it at all. That being said, one of his biggest disappointments is that he doesn't fit in. Playing with transformers doesn't help that at all. I just want him to be happy and have friends if he wants. I have always let my kids play with whatever they wanted.Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

Sender:

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:06:47 -0400< >Reply

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Why is there this preoccupation of what’s age appropriate? First of all, do you know how many ADULTS collect toys? Secondly, if he’s playing with toys, then isn’t he exercising his creativity? BTW I bet if a kid with Down Syndrome played with toys at age 14, people would say, “Oh, that’s okay, because his IQ is below average.” But if a kid with AS does it? It’s “inappropriate.” Why? Because he’s intelligent? Let’s raise our consciousness!

On 8/31/10 5:22 PM, "deabakcp@..." <deabakcp@...> wrote:

My 4 year old child who doesn't have aspergers likes a lot. He likes to watch the videos over and over. I think sometimes they like what is familiar. I have not considered that a problem with this child. It has seemed age-appropriate. Now, I have a 14 year old Aspergers boy who is still into Transformers toys. All the kids his age have moved on. Right now we have moved to Dr. Who which seems a little more age appropriate. I don't know what the right answer is, but I just haven't worried about it with my four old at all.

Deana in al

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

From: Pruden <missypruden@...>

Sender:

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)

< >

Reply

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, "Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is why I always enjoyed babysitting. It gave me an excuse to play with toys! From: beanniferj@...Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 19:03:20 +0000Subject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

This is so true! When I was around 12 or 13, I loved playing with my younger neighbor because she was still young enough to play Barbies. If I had not been embarrassed to like them at that age, I definitely would have kept playing with them with my peers.

Bridget

>

> >

>

> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> >

>

> > Thanks,

>

> >

>

> >

>

[Guest guest]

GUILTY! When I was in 8th grade (and I was fully developed by then plus had raging hormones) I remember specifically playing with Barbies at my friend's house and we made a pact not to tell anyone.

My son was really into YuGiOh cards for awhile but finally figured out he really shouldn't be sharing the fact that he's still interested in them since he's 14. He knows the one or two kids he can talk about them with but they all keep it on the down low. It just took him a little while longer to figure out he needed to KEEP it on the down low. I think he was relieved when he realized he didn't need to give them up, just not talk about them in front of groups of kids.

From: bridget <beanniferj@...> Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 2:03:20 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

This is so true! When I was around 12 or 13, I loved playing with my younger neighbor because she was still young enough to play Barbies. If I had not been embarrassed to like them at that age, I definitely would have kept playing with them with my peers.Bridget> > >> > > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle.

Help me with how to handle this!> > > > > > Thanks,> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

I wish my son could have figured out how to just not mention it. It caused him so much grief. But, I bet there are lots of kids out there playing with barbie's and transformers and just not letting their peers know. LolSent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Sender: Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 13:19:44 -0700 (PDT)< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? GUILTY! When I was in 8th grade (and I was fully developed by then plus had raging hormones) I remember specifically playing with Barbies at my friend's house and we made a pact not to tell anyone. My son was really into YuGiOh cards for awhile but finally figured out he really shouldn't be sharing the fact that he's still interested in them since he's 14. He knows the one or two kids he can talk about them with but they all keep it on the down low. It just took him a little while longer to figure out he needed to KEEP it on the down low. I think he was relieved when he realized he didn't need to give them up, just not talk about them in front of groups of kids. From: bridget <beanniferj@...> Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 2:03:20 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? This is so true! When I was around 12 or 13, I loved playing with my younger neighbor because she was still young enough to play Barbies. If I had not been embarrassed to like them at that age, I definitely would have kept playing with them with my peers.Bridget> > >> > > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle.Help me with how to handle this!> > > > > > Thanks,> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

BINGO

On 9/1/10 1:12 PM, " jaimennick@... " <jaimennick@...> wrote:

My son is 7 and he still loves . The kids in his class tease him about it. I explained to him that it is a show that younger kids watch. He said he loves it and I will not stop him from seeing something that he so enjoys. As long as it is not something that could hurt him why should I punish him by taking it away. Just because other people don't think it is normal. What makes them so normal.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

From: " missypruden " <missypruden@...>

Sender:

Date: Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:40:07 -0000

< >

Reply

Subject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I don't want to take the toys or books away from him. I just don't know what to do about the movies/videos. When he watches it too often it starts to pervade all of his thoughts. He used to use a huge amount of echolalia - communicating would either be directly repeating what was said to him or he would repeat phrases from books or movies. He did use those phrases uniquely and often appropriately, but they were not original thought invented on his own. Sometimes even humourously " Bust my buffers " when something didn't go as planned. I agree that liking is age appropriate (our 2yr old NT DS loves it also), I just don't want Tyler reverting back. He is actually creating his own stories when playing with his trains now.

I think after reading all of your feedback I will let him watch his choice of video/movie twice a week. We are starting a 3 day a week preschool this year which he is really excited about. Thinking I will let the days be the 2 off days from school as something to look forward too when he will be a little bummed about there being no school.

Thanks everyone!

~ P.

> >

> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> >

>

>  

>    

>

[Guest guest]

Something has to give when too much of one trait expresses itself. When somebody has excellent social skills, they often have less of a sense of self, I think.

On 9/1/10 2:07 PM, " Barbara Pinckney " <b-pinckney@...> wrote:

I agree . I think a lot of " big " kids, and adults, would love to keep playing with toys but stop because they feel embarrassed. Well AS kids don't embarrass as easily so they just keep doing what they love.

From: julie1013@...

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:06:47 -0400

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Why is there this preoccupation of what’s age appropriate? First of all, do you know how many ADULTS collect toys? Secondly, if he’s playing with toys, then isn’t he exercising his creativity? BTW I bet if a kid with Down Syndrome played with toys at age 14, people would say, “Oh, that’s okay, because his IQ is below average.” But if a kid with AS does it? It’s “inappropriate.” Why? Because he’s intelligent? Let’s raise our consciousness!

On 8/31/10 5:22 PM, " deabakcp@... <http://deabakcp@...> " <deabakcp@... <http://deabakcp@...> > wrote:

My 4 year old child who doesn't have aspergers likes a lot. He likes to watch the videos over and over. I think sometimes they like what is familiar. I have not considered that a problem with this child. It has seemed age-appropriate. Now, I have a 14 year old Aspergers boy who is still into Transformers toys. All the kids his age have moved on. Right now we have moved to Dr. Who which seems a little more age appropriate. I don't know what the right answer is, but I just haven't worried about it with my four old at all.

Deana in al

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From: Pruden <missypruden@... <http://missypruden@...> >

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Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)

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Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, " Hello ! I am so glad you are here! " It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ( " when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about " ) but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

My mother just “wanted me to be happy” so she thought that if I learned to act and dress like the other girls that I would be happy. I was distressed and terrified You have to ask your kid straight out HOW he wants to be happy, “Do you want to be happy by being accepted for who you are or do you want to be happy by fitting in?” For me it was the former. If it’s the latter for your son, it’s a different story. But make sure he’s clear on that. You have no idea how much you could unwittingly hurt him if you think making him “fit in” will make him happy if the reality is he just wants to be accepted for who he is.

On 9/1/10 2:12 PM, " Barbara Pinckney " <b-pinckney@...> wrote:

You reminded me of a conversation I had just last week with the mother of another AS kid. Our children gravitated toward each other in 3rd grade (now starting 8th) and have been best friends since. Ben was diagnosed with AS a few years ago, and my Liz just last month. But when I told Ben's mom she was not at all surprised because the kids are so much alike. Anyway, one of her comments was that " they play weird " and differently than other kids their age. But, they are happy that way and they have each other, and so be it.

From: deabakcp@...

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 13:21:24 +0000

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

When I was talking about toys being age appropriate for my 14 year old son, I didn't mean I am against it at all. That being said, one of his biggest disappointments is that he doesn't fit in. Playing with transformers doesn't help that at all. I just want him to be happy and have friends if he wants. I have always let my kids play with whatever they wanted.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

Sender:

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:06:47 -0400

< >

Reply

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Why is there this preoccupation of what’s age appropriate? First of all, do you know how many ADULTS collect toys? Secondly, if he’s playing with toys, then isn’t he exercising his creativity? BTW I bet if a kid with Down Syndrome played with toys at age 14, people would say, “Oh, that’s okay, because his IQ is below average.” But if a kid with AS does it? It’s “inappropriate.” Why? Because he’s intelligent? Let’s raise our consciousness!

On 8/31/10 5:22 PM, " deabakcp@... <http://deabakcp@...> " <deabakcp@... <http://deabakcp@...> > wrote:

My 4 year old child who doesn't have aspergers likes a lot. He likes to watch the videos over and over. I think sometimes they like what is familiar. I have not considered that a problem with this child. It has seemed age-appropriate. Now, I have a 14 year old Aspergers boy who is still into Transformers toys. All the kids his age have moved on. Right now we have moved to Dr. Who which seems a little more age appropriate. I don't know what the right answer is, but I just haven't worried about it with my four old at all.

Deana in al

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

From: Pruden <missypruden@... <http://missypruden@...> >

Sender: <http:// >

Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:09:54 -0700 (PDT)

< <http:// > >

Reply <http:// >

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, " Hello ! I am so glad you are here! " It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ( " when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about " ) but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

,You need to find a local card store that has YuGiOh tournaments for your son to participate in. He will find lots of people of all ages who love the challenge of the game. My 19yo plays in a weekly tournament. My husband also plays the game at home with our son. At age 13 my son won a tournament by beating a young man who had a PhD in physics & worked at a biomedical lab! So YuGiOh appeals to a lot of people. It is a shame that other kids make fun of things they don't understand or have moved away from.My 19yo is also into amine & cosplay. They have conventions where they dress up as amine characters. It is good, clean fun. My son enjoys it.Sent from my iPhoneBlessings, DonnaOn Sep 1, 2010, at 3:55 PM, deabakcp@... wrote:

I wish my son could have figured out how to just not mention it. It caused him so much grief. But, I bet there are lots of kids out there playing with barbie's and transformers and just not letting their peers know. LolSent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>

Sender:

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 13:19:44 -0700 (PDT)< >Reply

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

GUILTY! When I was in 8th grade (and I was fully developed by then plus had raging hormones) I remember specifically playing with Barbies at my friend's house and we made a pact not to tell anyone.

My son was really into YuGiOh cards for awhile but finally figured out he really shouldn't be sharing the fact that he's still interested in them since he's 14. He knows the one or two kids he can talk about them with but they all keep it on the down low. It just took him a little while longer to figure out he needed to KEEP it on the down low. I think he was relieved when he realized he didn't need to give them up, just not talk about them in front of groups of kids.

From: bridget <beanniferj@...> Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 2:03:20 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

This is so true! When I was around 12 or 13, I loved playing with my younger neighbor because she was still young enough to play Barbies. If I had not been embarrassed to like them at that age, I definitely would have kept playing with them with my peers.Bridget> > >> > > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle.

Help me with how to handle this!> > > > > > Thanks,> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

It wouldn’t surprise me. If he’s anything like me, he has his own abstract reasons for being moved by it. When I was a kid I was moved by The Addams Family movie when I was obsessed with it. I was sad that Uncle Fester didn’t know where he belonged and sad that Gomez had lost his brother for 25 years. I wouldn’t have felt the same way about a mainstream movie about estranged brothers. Why? As a kid who felt like a freak, what could be more appealing than a family of freaks? I identified with the freaks.

On 9/1/10 5:54 PM, " michmully " <michmull@...> wrote:

,

I don't have much advice for you except to offer that in the range of obsessions, at least is a socially common interest for that age group. My son went through a brief but intense fascination with the crucifixion of all things and boy, was that hard to manage. It's good to have a sense of humor if you can.

Your statement about your son's extremely emotional response [tearing up] really resonated with me. One of the things I noticed about my son (prediagnosis) that struck me was how he could be listening to a song in the car and just become overwhelmed with emotion listening to it...uncharacteristically emotional for him. It was fascinating and I wonder if it is common with ASD -- I haven't read anything about this response.

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad to hear someone else's child had a fascination with the crucifix. My son had one for a long time. He used to make them out of leggo's and walk around with it. So glad you shared that! Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: "michmully" <michmull@...>Sender: Date: Wed, 01 Sep 2010 21:54:38 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? ,I don't have much advice for you except to offer that in the range of obsessions, at least is a socially common interest for that age group. My son went through a brief but intense fascination with the crucifixion of all things and boy, was that hard to manage. It's good to have a sense of humor if you can.Your statement about your son's extremely emotional response [tearing up] really resonated with me. One of the things I noticed about my son (prediagnosis) that struck me was how he could be listening to a song in the car and just become overwhelmed with emotion listening to it...uncharacteristically emotional for him. It was fascinating and I wonder if it is common with ASD -- I haven't read anything about this response.