Re: Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

[Guest guest]

That is a great idea, Donna! I'll have to google local card stores and see what's available in our area. Thanks!

From: Donna <donnalmoore@...>" " < >Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 6:04:18 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

,

You need to find a local card store that has YuGiOh tournaments for your son to participate in. He will find lots of people of all ages who love the challenge of the game. My 19yo plays in a weekly tournament. My husband also plays the game at home with our son. At age 13 my son won a tournament by beating a young man who had a PhD in physics & worked at a biomedical lab! So YuGiOh appeals to a lot of people. It is a shame that other kids make fun of things they don't understand or have moved away from.

My 19yo is also into amine & cosplay. They have conventions where they dress up as amine characters. It is good, clean fun. My son enjoys it.

Sent from my iPhone

Blessings, Donna

On Sep 1, 2010, at 3:55 PM, deabakcp@... wrote:

I wish my son could have figured out how to just not mention it. It caused him so much grief. But, I bet there are lots of kids out there playing with barbie's and transformers and just not letting their peers know. Lol

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Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 13:19:44 -0700 (PDT)

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Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

GUILTY! When I was in 8th grade (and I was fully developed by then plus had raging hormones) I remember specifically playing with Barbies at my friend's house and we made a pact not to tell anyone.

My son was really into YuGiOh cards for awhile but finally figured out he really shouldn't be sharing the fact that he's still interested in them since he's 14. He knows the one or two kids he can talk about them with but they all keep it on the down low. It just took him a little while longer to figure out he needed to KEEP it on the down low. I think he was relieved when he realized he didn't need to give them up, just not talk about them in front of groups of kids.

From: bridget <beanniferj@...> Sent: Wed, September 1, 2010 2:03:20 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

This is so true! When I was around 12 or 13, I loved playing with my younger neighbor because she was still young enough to play Barbies. If I had not been embarrassed to like them at that age, I definitely would have kept playing with them with my peers.Bridget> > >> > > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!>

> > > > > Thanks,> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

What exactly was this therapeutic for?

I totally do not agree to create a safe zone and let obsessions thrive. Obsessions are called "obsessions" because they are out of control. If you look it up, it is not a happy little activity that people do for fun. It is usually something they are compelled to do and often it is not something fun, but rather done because of anxiety or mental illness.

If a child enjoys playing a certain thing, that is one thing to deal with. If it is an obsessive activity, you definitely need to address it. If it is done to the exclusion of learning other life skills, including social skills, it definitely has to be dealt with and not left to "thrive." What is cute at age 3 is not cute at age 13 and not cute at age 23. These kids are already behind learning a variety of socialization skills. I don't think letting them obsess is helpful at all.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

It really can be a therapeutic thing. My watching of Back to the Future over and over as a kid was therapeutic because I identified with Doc Brown. Don’t take the obsession away from your child. It will go away when it is ready. Instead, create a “safe zone†for it to thrive.

On 8/29/10 9:48 PM, "AshtonCA" <ashtonca@...> wrote:

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

I hear you loud and clear, . Liz never liked Barbies or dresses or any of the girly stuff. She has short hair and until she started developing she was often mistaken for a boy because of her preference for loose clothing. But she doesn't care if she "fits in." She wants to be herself and I'm fine with that. Now that she has hit the juniors sizes she had found more clothes that fit her personal style and are still feminine, so that's good From: julie1013@...Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 18:42:23 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My mother just “wanted me to be happy” so she thought that if I learned to act and dress like the other girls that I would be happy. I was distressed and terrified You have to ask your kid straight out HOW he wants to be happy, “Do you want to be happy by being accepted for who you are or do you want to be happy by fitting in?” For me it was the former. If it’s the latter for your son, it’s a different story. But make sure he’s clear on that. You have no idea how much you could unwittingly hurt him if you think making him “fit in” will make him happy if the reality is he just wants to be accepted for who he is.

On 9/1/10 2:12 PM, "Barbara Pinckney" <b-pinckney@...> wrote:

You reminded me of a conversation I had just last week with the mother of another AS kid. Our children gravitated toward each other in 3rd grade (now starting 8th) and have been best friends since. Ben was diagnosed with AS a few years ago, and my Liz just last month. But when I told Ben's mom she was not at all surprised because the kids are so much alike. Anyway, one of her comments was that "they play weird" and differently than other kids their age. But, they are happy that way and they have each other, and so be it.

From: deabakcp@...

Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 13:21:24 +0000

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

When I was talking about toys being age appropriate for my 14 year old son, I didn't mean I am against it at all. That being said, one of his biggest disappointments is that he doesn't fit in. Playing with transformers doesn't help that at all. I just want him to be happy and have friends if he wants. I have always let my kids play with whatever they wanted.

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From: julie1013 <julie1013@...>

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Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:06:47 -0400

< >

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Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Why is there this preoccupation of what’s age appropriate? First of all, do you know how many ADULTS collect toys? Secondly, if he’s playing with toys, then isn’t he exercising his creativity? BTW I bet if a kid with Down Syndrome played with toys at age 14, people would say, “Oh, that’s okay, because his IQ is below average.” But if a kid with AS does it? It’s “inappropriate.” Why? Because he’s intelligent? Let’s raise our consciousness!

On 8/31/10 5:22 PM, "deabakcp@... <http://deabakcp@...> " <deabakcp@... <http://deabakcp@...> > wrote:

My 4 year old child who doesn't have aspergers likes a lot. He likes to watch the videos over and over. I think sometimes they like what is familiar. I have not considered that a problem with this child. It has seemed age-appropriate. Now, I have a 14 year old Aspergers boy who is still into Transformers toys. All the kids his age have moved on. Right now we have moved to Dr. Who which seems a little more age appropriate. I don't know what the right answer is, but I just haven't worried about it with my four old at all.

Deana in al

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Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, "Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he completely got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am interested to see how many AS kids have such emotional responses. My son

is often like this. He can be so rotten and nasty, but them so sweet and loving

the next. He has cried at the end of every school year (last year being the

exception and he commented on how it was the 1st time he didn't cry). He cries

that he will miss his teachers, even if he hated them the entire year! He also

cries like he lost his best friend if I throw things away. Last week it was a

broken Bob The Builder umbrella....he hasn't liked Bob in probably 5 years! We

finally broke off the " Bob " piece on the handle as a " souvenier " . He also got

upset because the tag fell of his stuffed animal....I have never been able to

remove the little tags (like the Ty tag on beenie babies). He gets so sad!

This also manifests itself in the way he thinks. He told me last week that he

wanted to win the lottery to pay me back foreverything I buy for him, and he was

all teary eyed. He has a hard time saying goodbye to people at times and gets

choked up easily. He is so sensitive at times, yet so unsensitive at others.

Is this just an example of not being able to regulate emotions? I assume this

is common with AS kiddos. I know this has been brought up often by docs/school

with regards to my son....

----------

Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

- ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

,

I don't have much advice for you except to offer that in the range of

obsessions, at least is a socially common interest for that age group.

My son went through a brief but intense fascination with the crucifixion of all

things and boy, was that hard to manage. It's good to have a sense of humor if

you can.

Your statement about your son's extremely emotional response [tearing up] really

resonated with me. One of the things I noticed about my son (prediagnosis) that

struck me was how he could be listening to a song in the car and just become

overwhelmed with emotion listening to it...uncharacteristically emotional for

him. It was fascinating and I wonder if it is common with ASD -- I haven't read

anything about this response.

[Guest guest]

I remember now how my daughter (now 15) always hissed and crowed like a chicken. Gads she annoyed people...!! She has outgrown it so have hope! LOLFrom: mbaet <mbaet@...> Sent: Mon, August 30, 2010 2:27:48 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re:

How do you handle the obsessions?

My daughter is 9 and she hisses at family members when she is mad and when she is really happy/content she rubs against me and purrs. She is also obsessed with our 2 cats. Don't know if this helps at all.

Becky

From: bridget <beanniferj@...> Sent: Mon, August 30, 2010 12:08:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Hi Ashton,How old is your son? My guy is just about 3 years old (later this week) and he often pretends to be a baby cat. There is lots of meowing and cuddling when the "cat" comes around, so it is generally a welcome thing. He does a really loud meow that alarms people who are not familiar with it, although it is usually a happy sound.Bridget> >> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman

obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > > > Thanks,> > > >>

[Guest guest]

I think we have to pay attention to what is age appropriate because our kids are not. They are often slower in social development and it does not help them to let them do whatever appeals to them without helping them move on, advance and grow socially. This is a known problem area for these kids and like any delayed development, we need to help them with it and not just let them do whatever they want. Granted, you do have to expect there is going to be a delay socially. But I also don't think it's a great idea to say it's not a big deal, ignore it, let them do what they want, etc. I don't think that helps them both in their personal life and also in their social life.

I don't really think there is any fair comparison to kids with Down's Syndrome. I can't even figure that one out.

I also think that we tend to lump "Play skills" into one big subject. I think reading these posts, there are kids with different problems. But the gist is that we should figure out what is not working out, where they are struggling, then we can help them learn and grow socially.

As for adults collecting toys, that is not the same thing either. Collecting toys is not the same thing as playing obsessively with a specific toy to the exclusion of all else nor is it comparable to a kid who can't talk about anything except Sponge Bob or the Tank Engine, long past anyone even listening or caring. These are real problems that should be addressed as soon as possible so that they can learn and eventually live and work in society.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, "Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he complete

ly got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

I don't think people with AS have the market on being more interested in "things" than people. I think you would find that it varies as much within the AS community as in the NT world. Most often, I hear about the AS kids who want to make friends and want to be social but they just don't know how/understand the social cues. Some very NT people are more motivated by things than by relationships as well.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, "Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he complete

ly got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

I don't think that is true. Having excellent social skills would mean the opposite - you'd have an excellent sense of self in order to understand what makes people tick and be able to attend to others. Kids with AS may be embarrassed, actually. My ds, 13 yo hfa, is overly embarrassed sometimes over things he shouldn't be. I think the problem is not that people become embarrassed and therefore, stop playing with their toys. I think people just mature and grow up and find different "toys" and different interests that are more to their level of development. That some kids with AS don't realize that something is "for babies", is more a mark of their lack of social skills and lack of awareness than that they lack the ability to be embarrassed.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, "Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he complete

ly got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think it varies. I think all kids outgrow certain things, but, AS or not, they all do it at a different pace. The ones (again, AS or not) that still enjoy things like playing with dolls when many of their friends have moved on may stop playing because they feel they have to. JMOI do think our society today pushes kids to grow up too fast, or allows them too. My NT daughter is 11 and several of her friends watch The Secret Life of The American Teenager. Are you kidding me? That show is about nothing but sex. My kid is not watching it. Her friends also have boyfriends. Anyone else see a reason for concern? From: MadIdeas@...Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2010 20:38:13 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I don't think that is true. Having excellent social skills would mean the opposite - you'd have an excellent sense of self in order to understand what makes people tick and be able to attend to others. Kids with AS may be embarrassed, actually. My ds, 13 yo hfa, is overly embarrassed sometimes over things he shouldn't be. I think the problem is not that people become embarrassed and therefore, stop playing with their toys. I think people just mature and grow up and find different "toys" and different interests that are more to their level of development. That some kids with AS don't realize that something is "for babies", is more a mark of their lack of social skills and lack of awareness than that they lack the ability to be embarrassed.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

I am wondering about this with our son. He is 4.8yrs old and REALLY into the Tank Engine and Friends, has been since he was 2 yrs old. We have almost all the trains for him. There are puzzles and of course lots of books. But I noticed the action scenes where a train crashes or something like that, he hides from these scenes. Then he started telling me he didn't want to watch a specific video or episode because it was scary. So, we stopped the videos for awhile. Now they have a newer CGI version with new shows. He saw an advertisement for a newer 'movie' and asked to see it. So we found it and let him watch it. He really enjoyed it and almost seemed all choked up when it started, like when you see a family member who has moved away and it's been years. He actually said, "Hello ! I am so glad you are here!" It was sad to see him like that......Then he complete

ly got into the 'movie' and was excited (rather a compilation of 4 or so episodes). He has asked for that 'movie' a few times, so we put it on and same emotions come but a little milder. The problem is when it is over he gets upset and insists to watch it again, which we don't allow. Too much and he gets lost in world and that is all he talks about....echolalia, etc.

So I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to completely take it away from him when he obviously enjoys it so much. He still plays with his trains (wooden, metal, and legos)every day and we read the books about twice a week. I don't want to take it away.....but I don't like how upset he gets after it is over. His meltdowns/tantrums are generally non-violent....they tend to be more sad with some violent sounding language ("when I break the...add in whatever he is upset about") but he never acts on it. Is this considered a transition as the movie is over and his emotional excitement has to come back down? Any ideas would be great, and I appreciate the post about 'Back to the Future' it helps me see it more from his angle.

~ P.

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

You sound like us!!! Our 12 yr old NT daughter also seems to be the only one not watching inappropriate shows. She looks like a 12 yr old.....dresses like a 12 yr old. I KNOW she's a minority!!!! She's asked me if maybe there's something wrong with her because everyone seems to either have a boyfriend or want one......and she could still care a less.

"Buddy the Elf, What's your favorite color?"

Robin

Hi ,My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and kind of freaked me out a little. I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety. Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten. Ashton>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

Here's my story

My 11 dd is great friends with two hispanic girls. These girls are good girls and great friends to my daughter. The issue is my DD thinks she is hispanic and we are not. She is obsessed with rolling her r's (wish I could), speaking spanish and only hanging around the hispanic kids at school. She has no interest in making new friends or keeping up her friendships with other kids.

Amy Spikings ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Hi Bridget,My son is 6 as of today 9/11. It was cute until I realized why he was doing it. Now I know that when he starts, it's time to take him out of the situation where the noise/commotion is less until he stops. Ashton> > >> > > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > > > > > Thanks,> > > > > >> >>

[Guest guest]

My 7yr old son obsesses over robots and Spongebob, that's all he'll talk about, so I sympathize with you. I talk about it with him so we have some sort of bonding going on, but I don't know what else to do about the obsessing.

Cathleen

From: jenuhferr <jenuhferr@...> Sent: Thu, September 16, 2010 12:14:18 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My 5yo daughter is the same except it rotates between dinosaurs and Bakugan. It can really drive me nutso sometimes! We have to play with dinosaur toys, read dino books, watch dino dvds and draw dinos. She talks about them w everyone she can and even quizzes me!! She has gotten beaten up at a public play place because she was pretending to be a dinosaur and going after some kids. I have to tell her that kids don't like to be growled at and told that she will "kill them." (as a dinosaur)She just started Kindergarten and I'm not sure how it's going although she complained that there was only ONE dinosaur book in the class and one day she didn't have time to finish the dinosaur puzzle and she came home very stressed. Took a lot of prodding but finally she broke down and sobbed and told me about it. Breaks your heart that your child could get so upset over something like that.But, at home, she is safe to go dino-crazy. I set limits when

she starts going off on it with other adults. I tell her "that's enough about dinosaurs for now, let's talk about something else."Jen H>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle.

Help me with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

Please see a DAN doctor.Also please check out Feingold Diet.When my non-verbal 4 year old ASD child went on this diet the obsessions and language came within 6 months!HthRobyn-- Sent from my Palm PreOn Sep 19, 2010 21:11, Sandy SANDIA <ssandiacr@...> wrote:

My son´s neurologist recommended ignoring obsession as they will never end. My 3 year old can watch cars 6 times a day, but he has to have all the die cast cars in his couch so he play with them while watching the movie. Always the same way!

From: cathleen.veloria@...Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 15:04:18 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My 7yr old son obsesses over robots and Spongebob, that's all he'll talk about, so I sympathize with you. I talk about it with him so we have some sort of bonding going on, but I don't know what else to do about the obsessing.

Cathleen

From: jenuhferr <jenuhferr@...> Sent: Thu, September 16, 2010 12:14:18 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My 5yo daughter is the same except it rotates between dinosaurs and Bakugan. It can really drive me nutso sometimes! We have to play with dinosaur toys, read dino books, watch dino dvds and draw dinos. She talks about them w everyone she can and even quizzes me!! She has gotten beaten up at a public play place because she was pretending to be a dinosaur and going after some kids. I have to tell her that kids don't like to be growled at and told that she will "kill them." (as a dinosaur)She just started Kindergarten and I'm not sure how it's going although she complained that there was only ONE dinosaur book in the class and one day she didn't have time to finish the dinosaur puzzle and she came home very stressed. Took a lot of prodding but finally she broke down and sobbed and told me about it. Breaks your heart that your child could get so upset over something like that.But, at home, she is safe to go dino-crazy. I set limits when she starts going off on it with other adults. I tell her "that's enough about dinosaurs for now, let's talk about something else."Jen H>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

lolexhausting but sounds like fun! From: wilma1866@...Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2010 16:41:39 -0500Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My child watches/listens to movies and songs over and over. After a movie, she has to become THAT character, so I need to be prepared to run out and buy costumes for this. Exhausting. It's better though. Good luck.On Sep 19, 2010, at 7:00 PM, Sandy SANDIA wrote:

My son´s neurologist recommended ignoring obsession as they will never end. My 3 year old can watch cars 6 times a day, but he has to have all the die cast cars in his couch so he play with them while watching the movie. Always the same way!

From: cathleen.veloria@...Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 15:04:18 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My 7yr old son obsesses over robots and Spongebob, that's all he'll talk about, so I sympathize with you. I talk about it with him so we have some sort of bonding going on, but I don't know what else to do about the obsessing.

Cathleen

From: jenuhferr <jenuhferr@...> Sent: Thu, September 16, 2010 12:14:18 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? My 5yo daughter is the same except it rotates between dinosaurs and Bakugan. It can really drive me nutso sometimes! We have to play with dinosaur toys, read dino books, watch dino dvds and draw dinos. She talks about them w everyone she can and even quizzes me!! She has gotten beaten up at a public play place because she was pretending to be a dinosaur and going after some kids. I have to tell her that kids don't like to be growled at and told that she will "kill them." (as a dinosaur)She just started Kindergarten and I'm not sure how it's going although she complained that there was only ONE dinosaur book in the class and one day she didn't have time to finish the dinosaur puzzle and she came home very stressed. Took a lot of prodding but finally she broke down and sobbed and told me about it. Breaks your heart that your child could get so upset over something like that.But, at home, she is safe to go dino-crazy. I set limits when she starts going off on it with other adults. I tell her "that's enough about dinosaurs for now, let's talk about something else."Jen H>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

My child watches/listens to movies and songs over and over. After a movie, she has to become THAT character, so I need to be prepared to run out and buy costumes for this. Exhausting. It's better though. Good luck.On Sep 19, 2010, at 7:00 PM, Sandy SANDIA wrote:

My son´s neurologist recommended ignoring obsession as they will never end. My 3 year old can watch cars 6 times a day, but he has to have all the die cast cars in his couch so he play with them while watching the movie. Always the same way!

From: cathleen.veloria@...Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 15:04:18 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My 7yr old son obsesses over robots and Spongebob, that's all he'll talk about, so I sympathize with you. I talk about it with him so we have some sort of bonding going on, but I don't know what else to do about the obsessing.

Cathleen

From: jenuhferr <jenuhferr@...> Sent: Thu, September 16, 2010 12:14:18 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions? My 5yo daughter is the same except it rotates between dinosaurs and Bakugan. It can really drive me nutso sometimes! We have to play with dinosaur toys, read dino books, watch dino dvds and draw dinos. She talks about them w everyone she can and even quizzes me!! She has gotten beaten up at a public play place because she was pretending to be a dinosaur and going after some kids. I have to tell her that kids don't like to be growled at and told that she will "kill them." (as a dinosaur)She just started Kindergarten and I'm not sure how it's going although she complained that there was only ONE dinosaur book in the class and one day she didn't have time to finish the dinosaur puzzle and she came home very stressed. Took a lot of prodding but finally she broke down and sobbed and told me about it. Breaks your heart that your child could get so upset over something like that.But, at home, she is safe to go dino-crazy. I set limits when she starts going off on it with other adults. I tell her "that's enough about dinosaurs for now, let's talk about something else."Jen H>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

Well, my son is 12 with Aspergers and from what I have experienced the obsessions do not end. My son was obsessed with the tank engine from 2 till about 9. He still has all his thomas wrapped in tissue paper for his kids. Then as 9 he went to Pokemon and he's still there. Totally obsessed with it. Watches the same movie a dozen times in a row. Has to have every pokemon game there is. I know it is so so so hard. But, when he got about 10 he became obsessed in other areas. Actually it started when he was about 6. Washing his hands at least 100 times a day. tried to hide it and his arms were getting all chapped. Then it went to obsessing about spiders and rats. Then chemicals. When I use chemicals to clean, my brother has to come get him and take him off for awhile. Then when he comes

in he says mom did you use chemicals. Yes, DJ but i rewashed everything afterwards to get rid of it. It is so sad how I have to think of excuses so he will eat, or use the restroom. Girls and boys, we have a full plate. But, I love him so so so much. Shirley

From: "wilma1866@..." <wilma1866@...> Sent: Mon, September 20, 2010 2:41:39 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My child watches/listens to movies and songs over and over. After a movie, she has to become THAT character, so I need to be prepared to run out and buy costumes for this. Exhausting. It's better though. Good luck.

On Sep 19, 2010, at 7:00 PM, Sandy SANDIA wrote:

My son´s neurologist recommended ignoring obsession as they will never end. My 3 year old can watch cars 6 times a day, but he has to have all the die cast cars in his couch so he play with them while watching the movie. Always the same way!

From: cathleen.veloria@...Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 15:04:18 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My 7yr old son obsesses over robots and Spongebob, that's all he'll talk about, so I sympathize with you. I talk about it with him so we have some sort of bonding going on, but I don't know what else to do about the obsessing.

Cathleen

From: jenuhferr <jenuhferr@...> Sent: Thu, September 16, 2010 12:14:18 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My 5yo daughter is the same except it rotates between dinosaurs and Bakugan. It can really drive me nutso sometimes! We have to play with dinosaur toys, read dino books, watch dino dvds and draw dinos. She talks about them w everyone she can and even quizzes me!! She has gotten beaten up at a public play place because she was pretending to be a dinosaur and going after some kids. I have to tell her that kids don't like to be growled at and told that she will "kill them." (as a dinosaur)She just started Kindergarten and I'm not sure how it's going although she complained that there was only ONE dinosaur book in the class and one day she didn't have time to finish the dinosaur puzzle and she came home very stressed. Took a lot of prodding but finally she broke down and sobbed and told me about it. Breaks your heart that your child could get so upset over something like that.But, at home, she is safe to go dino-crazy. I set limits when

she starts going off on it with other adults. I tell her "that's enough about dinosaurs for now, let's talk about something else."Jen H>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me

with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son 7, watches and is obsessed with Star Wars. If he likes a particular scene, he will rewind it and play is several times. Once I just let him go to see how many times he would go through this routine and it was 20, poor machine. but usually before that, his sister, me or my husband will yell, "stop repeating the movie!!" After that he isn't through. He plays the characters and forces his little sister to play star wars games for eternity.

I hear ya,

Cathleen

From: "wilma1866@..." <wilma1866@...> Sent: Mon, September 20, 2010 2:41:39 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My child watches/listens to movies and songs over and over. After a movie, she has to become THAT character, so I need to be prepared to run out and buy costumes for this. Exhausting. It's better though. Good luck.

On Sep 19, 2010, at 7:00 PM, Sandy SANDIA wrote:

My son´s neurologist recommended ignoring obsession as they will never end. My 3 year old can watch cars 6 times a day, but he has to have all the die cast cars in his couch so he play with them while watching the movie. Always the same way!

From: cathleen.veloria@...Date: Sat, 18 Sep 2010 15:04:18 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My 7yr old son obsesses over robots and Spongebob, that's all he'll talk about, so I sympathize with you. I talk about it with him so we have some sort of bonding going on, but I don't know what else to do about the obsessing.

Cathleen

From: jenuhferr <jenuhferr@...> Sent: Thu, September 16, 2010 12:14:18 PMSubject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

My 5yo daughter is the same except it rotates between dinosaurs and Bakugan. It can really drive me nutso sometimes! We have to play with dinosaur toys, read dino books, watch dino dvds and draw dinos. She talks about them w everyone she can and even quizzes me!! She has gotten beaten up at a public play place because she was pretending to be a dinosaur and going after some kids. I have to tell her that kids don't like to be growled at and told that she will "kill them." (as a dinosaur)She just started Kindergarten and I'm not sure how it's going although she complained that there was only ONE dinosaur book in the class and one day she didn't have time to finish the dinosaur puzzle and she came home very stressed. Took a lot of prodding but finally she broke down and sobbed and told me about it. Breaks your heart that your child could get so upset over something like that.But, at home, she is safe to go dino-crazy. I set limits when

she starts going off on it with other adults. I tell her "that's enough about dinosaurs for now, let's talk about something else."Jen H>> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me

with how to handle this!> > Thanks,> >

[Guest guest]

I have noticed that my daughter will mimic others or me at times and it can be very frustrating.

Mom to my 4 girls

Madeline, Cayla, Arabella, & Vincenza

"You are the TRIP I did not take

You are the PEARLS I cannot buy

You are the blue Italian LAKE

YOU are my piece of foreign SKY"

---Anne ----

Re: ( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Here's my story

My 11 dd is great friends with two hispanic girls. These girls are good girls and great friends to my daughter. The issue is my DD thinks she is hispanic and we are not. She is obsessed with rolling her r's (wish I could), speaking spanish and only hanging around the hispanic kids at school. She has no interest in making new friends or keeping up her friendships with other kids.

Amy Spikings

( ) Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

Hi Bridget,

My son is 6 as of today 9/11.

It was cute until I realized why he was doing it. Now I know that when he starts, it's time to take him out of the situation where the noise/commotion is less until he stops.

Ashton

> > >

> > > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> > >

> > > Thanks,

> > >

> > >

> >

>