Re: Re: School woes...

[Guest guest]

I agree why not bring sticks in...as long as he keeps them in backpack who are they hurting?  haveing them in his backpack would probably make him feel calm. As for putting him in the hallway alone...outrageous.  I do think you need to sit down with her.  Those links that were posted from O.A.S.I.S for teacher...those were really good.  Print them up and sit down with her.  If she refuses, set up an appt. with she and principal or superintendant of your school district.

On Tue, Aug 25, 2009 at 8:34 AM, lovetoeatchocolatecake <doyourecycle@...> wrote:

 

>> is in the diagnosis process..sort of. He has been diagnosed by his former psychiatrist and current behavioral therapist, but the school is in denial due to his academics not being affected last year. To make a long story short, I had him evaluated and completely disagree with the results as they were determined after a brief 2 hr visit, a few forms, and a great deal of dismissal despite the factual input the testing psychologist could have gotten had he contacted s therapist and other professionals.

> > Not surprisingly, is struggling in school this year with completing his work in the timeframe allowed. He has a formal ADHD diagnosis, but the school has not begun an IEP/504 for him despite my loud squeaky wheel. Because he is taking longer to get his work done, he is being punished by missing recess time which is counterproductive for a child with excess energy, IMO.

> > I found out today when he gets upset at school he is put in the hallway until he can " gain control of his emotions " . I understand the classroom needs to continue learning, but if was in control of his emotions in the first place, would he be so upset easily?

> > He likes to collect things..this week its sticks. His teacher has created a rule this year that children cannot bring things inside from the playground. Well, brought in some sticks to bring home. He told his " friend " , who opened s backpack in front of the whole classroom. was embarrassed and started crying. ((Im not defending his rule breaking, btw)). So, out in the hall he goes until he can gain " control " . Time passes ( said it was 2 years..lol), and she checks on him. Her warning to him is " if this ever happens again, you will go straight to the principals office! " I understand he broke a school rule, but come on...?? Am I way out of line for getting upset?? The message relayed to me was " if you cry at school one more time, you are going to the principals office " , which surely couldn't have been her real message, you think?

> > I have asked for a meeting with his teachers, the principal and the special ed department, but Im not getting my hopes up. They haven't been too forthcoming with help thus far despite noise!> **************

I'm pissed about him not being able to bring sticks in. THIS IS THE ANTI-BOY SENTIMENT THAT IS RAMPANT IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS. Read, " The War Against Boys. " It'll tell you how women teachers want our boys to act more like our sweet, little, well-behaved girls.

You wrote that, THE TEACHER CREATED THE RULE. I say, bullshit. She's targeting your kid. Challenge her. If you let her " win " here, she knows she can make you back down. There's more going on with that so-called, teacher.

Woman, you have to learn how to be more of a pain in the ass to these people. Seriously, the squeeky wheel gets the attention. It is no skin off her back if he brings a few sticks in and puts them in his backpack. --unless he's playing swords with them and bringing in big ones.--Your school is making rules for the sake of rules. They don't sound very child friendly, imho.

Going to the hall to gain control--NO!!!!!!!!!!!! Unless there's someone trained to help him with that process, NO!! Finally, NO CHILD SHOULD BE MADE TO MISS RECESS AS A PUNISHMENT. I highly doubt and would place money that they can't enforce that if you disagree. Stand up for your child. Any chance you can get someone you know and trust--who's been around the block with this stuff--to go with you to the meeting, too?

[Guest guest]

Oh boy ...oh boy...oh boy...I can see this is going to be one heck of a year for you. I agree...take someone who is knowledgeable to the meeting.

I understand why they don't want sticks in school....poking, kids getting hurt etc. etc. but this teacher does not sound caring or sympathic at all....sounds like my son's old case manager. If things don't work out with this teacher....consider moving him to a different classroom. You son doesn't need to be abused at this age. And, if he is that upset....don't they have hall monitors that could walk him to guidance....man...that is too cruel especially at this stage of the game...she is harming in ....in the sense of his self-esteem and his ability to like school and learn....she is putting him into an anxiety state and creating fear...

Please notify the school that this is unacceptable and if it continues you want him moved. Get that IEP asap....but in the mean time ...do not tolerate this ...your child is young and just learning...he has Asperger's...does this teacher know he does? Does she know anything about the symptoms? If she is too stressed to deal properly and correctly ....then your child needs a different teacher. This teacher may have already made up her mind out your son....like my son's case manager...it was so obvious that she disliked him...and he knew it....and the situation was TERRIBLE...and stupid me never asked for a different casemanager...ugh..I could kick myself....

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

>> is in the diagnosis process..sort of. He has been diagnosed by his former psychiatrist and current behavioral therapist, but the school is in denial due to his academics not being affected last year. To make a long story short, I had him evaluated and completely disagree with the results as they were determined after a brief 2 hr visit, a few forms, and a great deal of dismissal despite the factual input the testing psychologist could have gotten had he contacted s therapist and other professionals. > > Not surprisingly, is struggling in school this year with completing his work in the timeframe allowed. He has a formal ADHD diagnosis,

but the school has not begun an IEP/504 for him despite my loud squeaky wheel. Because he is taking longer to get his work done, he is being punished by missing recess time which is counterproductive for a child with excess energy, IMO. > > I found out today when he gets upset at school he is put in the hallway until he can "gain control of his emotions". I understand the classroom needs to continue learning, but if was in control of his emotions in the first place, would he be so upset easily? > > He likes to collect things..this week its sticks. His teacher has created a rule this year that children cannot bring things inside from the playground. Well, brought in some sticks to bring home. He told his "friend", who opened s backpack in front of the whole classroom. was embarrassed and started crying. ((Im not defending his rule breaking, btw)). So, out in the hall he goes until he can gain

"control". Time passes ( said it was 2 years..lol), and she checks on him. Her warning to him is "if this ever happens again, you will go straight to the principals office!" I understand he broke a school rule, but come on...?? Am I way out of line for getting upset?? The message relayed to me was "if you cry at school one more time, you are going to the principals office", which surely couldn't have been her real message, you think?> > I have asked for a meeting with his teachers, the principal and the special ed department, but Im not getting my hopes up. They haven't been too forthcoming with help thus far despite noise!> ************ **I'm pissed about him not being able to bring sticks in. THIS IS THE ANTI-BOY SENTIMENT THAT IS RAMPANT IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS. Read, "The War Against Boys." It'll tell you how women teachers want our boys to act more like our sweet, little, well-behaved girls.You wrote

that, THE TEACHER CREATED THE RULE. I say, bullshit. She's targeting your kid. Challenge her. If you let her "win" here, she knows she can make you back down. There's more going on with that so-called, teacher.Woman, you have to learn how to be more of a pain in the ass to these people. Seriously, the squeeky wheel gets the attention. It is no skin off her back if he brings a few sticks in and puts them in his backpack. --unless he's playing swords with them and bringing in big ones.--Your school is making rules for the sake of rules. They don't sound very child friendly, imho.Going to the hall to gain control--NO! !!!!!!!!! !! Unless there's someone trained to help him with that process, NO!! Finally, NO CHILD SHOULD BE MADE TO MISS RECESS AS A PUNISHMENT. I highly doubt and would place money that they can't enforce that if you disagree. Stand up for your child. Any chance you can get someone you know and trust--who's been around the

block with this stuff--to go with you to the meeting, too?

[Guest guest]

I have met with the principal who wants to watch my sons behavior for the next 90 days...WHATEVER!! She's throwing the RTI crap at me, which I know the request for an eval supersedes the S-team meetings to try to modify his behavior. She is trying to avoid a label...in my opinion, she's trying to avoid helping my child! I am meeting with his teacher at 3:45 and will hopefully get somewhere with her, but Im not crossing my fingers. I mentioned some of the calming techniques his therapist suggested (blowing bubbles to settle down...) and the principal scoffed at it. I reminded her she would have to do it if it was put in his IEP. Again, I got the point that he wont be getting an IEP. HAH! I've placed a call to TNStep, and hopefully will get someone to attend a meeting with me.

My son used to love school, but told me today about some of the classmates teasing him. Of course, the principal thought it was normal. Normal to her and normal for MY child aren't the same!!!

I've told the school about his processing speed...they don't care. In their words - as long as they don't see the behaviors at school, it is out of their control. But they ARE seeing it at school!!!! They want to stick their heads in the sand and be blind!!!

I have documentation of these issues going back to 18 months old! What more do these people want?? Im not going to sit by while my only child is bullied by other kids as well as a school system!

_______________________~Ashleigh~

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seuss

www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

Re: ( ) Re: School woes...

Oh boy ...oh boy...oh boy...I can see this is going to be one heck of a year for you. I agree...take someone who is knowledgeable to the meeting.

I understand why they don't want sticks in school....poking, kids getting hurt etc. etc. but this teacher does not sound caring or sympathic at all....sounds like my son's old case manager. If things don't work out with this teacher....consider moving him to a different classroom. You son doesn't need to be abused at this age. And, if he is that upset....don't they have hall monitors that could walk him to guidance....man...that is too cruel especially at this stage of the game...she is harming in ....in the sense of his self-esteem and his ability to like school and learn....she is putting him into an anxiety state and creating fear...

Please notify the school that this is unacceptable and if it continues you want him moved. Get that IEP asap....but in the mean time ...do not tolerate this ...your child is young and just learning...he has Asperger's...does this teacher know he does? Does she know anything about the symptoms? If she is too stressed to deal properly and correctly ....then your child needs a different teacher. This teacher may have already made up her mind out your son....like my son's case manager...it was so obvious that she disliked him...and he knew it....and the situation was TERRIBLE...and stupid me never asked for a different casemanager...ugh..I could kick myself....

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

>> is in the diagnosis process..sort of. He has been diagnosed by his former psychiatrist and current behavioral therapist, but the school is in denial due to his academics not being affected last year. To make a long story short, I had him evaluated and completely disagree with the results as they were determined after a brief 2 hr visit, a few forms, and a great deal of dismissal despite the factual input the testing psychologist could have gotten had he contacted s therapist and other professionals. > > Not surprisingly, is struggling in school this year with completing his work in the timeframe allowed. He has a formal ADHD diagnosis, but the school has not begun an IEP/504 for him despite my loud squeaky wheel. Because he is taking longer to get his work done, he is being punished by missing recess time which is counterproductive for a child with excess energy, IMO. > > I found out today when he gets upset at school he is put in the hallway until he can "gain control of his emotions". I understand the classroom needs to continue learning, but if was in control of his emotions in the first place, would he be so upset easily? > > He likes to collect things..this week its sticks. His teacher has created a rule this year that children cannot bring things inside from the playground. Well, brought in some sticks to bring home. He told his "friend", who opened s backpack in front of the whole classroom. was embarrassed and started crying. ((Im not defending his rule breaking, btw)). So, out in the hall he goes until he can gain "control". Time passes ( said it was 2 years..lol), and she checks on him. Her warning to him is "if this ever happens again, you will go straight to the principals office!" I understand he broke a school rule, but come on...?? Am I way out of line for getting upset?? The message relayed to me was "if you cry at school one more time, you are going to the principals office", which surely couldn't have been her real message, you think?> > I have asked for a meeting with his teachers, the principal and the special ed department, but Im not getting my hopes up. They haven't been too forthcoming with help thus far despite noise!> ************ **I'm pissed about him not being able to bring sticks in. THIS IS THE ANTI-BOY SENTIMENT THAT IS RAMPANT IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS. Read, "The War Against Boys." It'll tell you how women teachers want our boys to act more like our sweet, little, well-behaved girls.You wrote that, THE TEACHER CREATED THE RULE. I say, bullshit. She's targeting your kid. Challenge her. If you let her "win" here, she knows she can make you back down. There's more going on with that so-called, teacher.Woman, you have to learn how to be more of a pain in the ass to these people. Seriously, the squeeky wheel gets the attention. It is no skin off her back if he brings a few sticks in and puts them in his backpack. --unless he's playing swords with them and bringing in big ones.--Your school is making rules for the sake of rules. They don't sound very child friendly, imho.Going to the hall to gain control--NO! !!!!!!!!! !! Unless there's someone trained to help him with that process, NO!! Finally, NO CHILD SHOULD BE MADE TO MISS RECESS AS A PUNISHMENT. I highly doubt and would place money that they can't enforce that if you disagree. Stand up for your child. Any chance you can get someone you know and trust--who's been around the block with this stuff--to go with you to the meeting, too?

[Guest guest]

Hi Andie,

I am with you on this one, my son, also 6 is struggling with maths, can recognise huge numbers, but when it comes to subtraction he seems lost, at the moment because he is doing up to twenty we put twenty marbles out so he can physically take away the amount of marbles. He also struggles with handwriting, last night he was all " I can't do this this is too hard" and I remembered reading on here a couple of days ago that someone had realised their child would have problems when they were hungry or tired, so a tuna sandwich later we tried again and he done it no problem. His Dad and I were gobsmacked. Not saying it will work, but its worth a bash.

Don't get me started on Nursery teachers (kindergarten). I think my sons turned him into a project, every little thing that he done was attributed to autism, when I spoke to her she said she didn't follow him around with a clipboard taking notes, but she did manage to write over 80 reports, and for someone who thought she knew so much she kept forcing him to make eye contact. To this day if we drive by his nursery he need reassured that he's not going in.

From: andie6294 <andie6294@...>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes... Date: Wednesday, 26 August, 2009, 3:30 AM

I can relate! I just got off the phone about an hour ago with the school district's psychologist. This woman observed my daughter (now 6) the beginning of last school year. All the strange things my daughter did that no other child in the class was doing, she considered 'age appropriate' . AND.... my daughter's teacher last year, for some reason, felt the need to accept substandard work from my daughter because she 'didn't expect any better from her'. My daughter's report card showed decent grades, thanks to the teacher's modifications, so although my husband and I are screaming for an evaluation, according to them, she isn't showing she is at risk enough to warrant an eval.We have the same struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another

story. She often times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently. This year's teacher is making a record of all the behaviors and struggles she notices. I'm hoping she will be a huge help in getting the district to see A's deficiencies. I have asked her to be honest and not try to cover anything up. I have also considered putting A's homework in front of her, explaining it to her, setting a timer for 30 min (WAAAYYY longer than she should take) and leaving her to do her work on her own. Of course if she needs it explained again, I will help her, but if she can't manage to complete her work without someone standing there and leading her through it step by step, she will have to turn it in as is. Perhaps this is what it will take for them to see a problem. Apparently the struggles with

homework last year - to make sure she saw the importance of completing it and doing it correctly - was only delaying the process. If she doesn't get it in school well enough to bring the knowledge home and do a page of homework, then she's not learning effectively. I am determined to get the school to realize she needs help this year. I feel the cover up last year was only to make the teacher look good. This is a teacher who, the FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN, pulled me aside after school and told me my daughter needed to be pulled out to give her another year to mature. She said that if I kept her in, she would get her 'as far as she could' but felt she would most likely need to repeat K. Then, at the end of the year, the teacher spent lots of energy patting herself on the back for managing to take this hopeless case and get her to pass. EERRGGGHHHHH! !! Nice job, Mrs. I - but the papers she sent home were either incomplete or completely wrong, and

the homework she sent home for review of the day's work was a NIGHTMARE. This, along with my daughter's anxiety toward school work and her extreme lack of self confidence in her academic skills, shows me that she was not absorbing and understanding what she was being taught.I could go on for days, but there are cupcakes to be frosted!Andie

[Guest guest]

I hear you ....I truly do....and I think you are on the right track...the school needs to wake up and smell the coffee....make sure they do...I never knew any of these problems till 3rd grade....and no one would have said a word excpet that I worked for a Lic. Psychologist at that time and started reading one of the books she recommended highly....From Chaos to Calm....she recommended it to a lot of families dealing with problems with discipline with their children...even if they did have ADHD. Well, I started reading it and I said....OMG....this is my son to a T......it was if they had written it on him...and that is when I started having him tested. It was easier for me...because we had the rating sheets. So my boss said....do it. I sent them in to school and the teacher said...oh. I am so glad...I noticed it the first day of

school....Well, then why didn't any one make recommendations.... so my son went thru K...struggling...alll the way up to third.

So, fight for her...advocate. Write to the school and tell them you want her tested...and it is your right...once you request it...the school has a certain period of time in which they must get this done...Put it in writing and keep a copy. Keep a journal/log....dates...times...who you talked to ....etc. And, always keep paper work. As Roxanna says create a paper trail...if you speak on the phone...back it up with a letter or email and keep it in your file. Confirm everything spoken into written word....it is for your protection ....conversation can be twisted around...but the written word is there in Black and White.

Best wished and keep plugging on....it is so difficult and you feel so alone...but you are not. Also, handwritting and math are two difficult areas with my son and writing ...sentences ....paragraphs...etc. I think this is even harder for him than math because it can be so overwhelming...for an essay....You need a topic, a title. you need to write the introduction, the middle and the conclusion. Then you have to remember to capitalize, punctuation. etc. etc. It comes natural to me...but is so overwhelming for my son and when I think about it step by step ...I can understand why. So, we need to break things apart and do it in baby steps....

The rule of thumb is no more than 10 min. a grade for homework...so in first grade ...they should not be spending more than 10 min. on their homework....if she has more and/or it takes her longer...you could have her do it in 10 min. blocks....or have her do 10 mins.. or maybe a little more and send in what she completed with a note....this is what she accomplished in XYZ amount of time....they made need to adjust the amt. of homework she gets.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: andie6294 <andie6294 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes... Date: Wednesday, 26 August, 2009, 3:30 AM

I can relate! I just got off the phone about an hour ago with the school district's psychologist. This woman observed my daughter (now 6) the beginning of last school year. All the strange things my daughter did that no other child in the class was doing, she considered 'age appropriate' . AND.... my daughter's teacher last year, for some reason, felt the need to accept substandard work from my daughter because she 'didn't expect any better from her'. My daughter's report card showed decent grades, thanks to the teacher's modifications, so although my husband and I are screaming for an evaluation, according to them, she isn't showing she is at risk enough to warrant an eval.We have the same struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another

story. She often times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently. This year's teacher is making a record of all the behaviors and struggles she notices. I'm hoping she will be a huge help in getting the district to see A's deficiencies. I have asked her to be honest and not try to cover anything up. I have also considered putting A's homework in front of her, explaining it to her, setting a timer for 30 min (WAAAYYY longer than she should take) and leaving her to do her work on her own. Of course if she needs it explained again, I will help her, but if she can't manage to complete her work without someone standing there and leading her through it step by step, she will have to turn it in as is. Perhaps this is what it will take for them to see a problem. Apparently the struggles with

homework last year - to make sure she saw the importance of completing it and doing it correctly - was only delaying the process. If she doesn't get it in school well enough to bring the knowledge home and do a page of homework, then she's not learning effectively. I am determined to get the school to realize she needs help this year. I feel the cover up last year was only to make the teacher look good. This is a teacher who, the FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN, pulled me aside after school and told me my daughter needed to be pulled out to give her another year to mature. She said that if I kept her in, she would get her 'as far as she could' but felt she would most likely need to repeat K. Then, at the end of the year, the teacher spent lots of energy patting herself on the back for managing to take this hopeless case and get her to pass. EERRGGGHHHHH! !! Nice job, Mrs. I - but the papers she sent home were either incomplete or completely wrong, and

the homework she sent home for review of the day's work was a NIGHTMARE. This, along with my daughter's anxiety toward school work and her extreme lack of self confidence in her academic skills, shows me that she was not absorbing and understanding what she was being taught.I could go on for days, but there are cupcakes to be frosted!Andie

[Guest guest]

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: andie6294 <andie6294 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes... Date: Wednesday, 26 August, 2009, 3:30 AM

I can relate! I just got off the phone about an hour ago with the school district's psychologist. This woman observed my daughter (now 6) the beginning of last school year. All the strange things my daughter did that no other child in the class was doing, she considered 'age appropriate' . AND.... my daughter's teacher last year, for some reason, felt the need to accept substandard work from my daughter because she 'didn't expect any better from her'. My daughter's report card showed decent grades, thanks to the teacher's modifications, so although my husband and I are screaming for an evaluation, according to them, she isn't showing she is at risk enough to warrant an eval.We have the same struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another

story. She often times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently. This year's teacher is making a record of all the behaviors and struggles she notices. I'm hoping she will be a huge help in getting the district to see A's deficiencies. I have asked her to be honest and not try to cover anything up. I have also considered putting A's homework in front of her, explaining it to her, setting a timer for 30 min (WAAAYYY longer than she should take) and leaving her to do her work on her own. Of course if she needs it explained again, I will help her, but if she can't manage to complete her work without someone standing there and leading her through it step by step, she will have to turn it in as is. Perhaps this is what it will take for them to see a problem. Apparently the struggles with

homework last year - to make sure she saw the importance of completing it and doing it correctly - was only delaying the process. If she doesn't get it in school well enough to bring the knowledge home and do a page of homework, then she's not learning effectively. I am determined to get the school to realize she needs help this year. I feel the cover up last year was only to make the teacher look good. This is a teacher who, the FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN, pulled me aside after school and told me my daughter needed to be pulled out to give her another year to mature. She said that if I kept her in, she would get her 'as far as she could' but felt she would most likely need to repeat K. Then, at the end of the year, the teacher spent lots of energy patting herself on the back for managing to take this hopeless case and get her to pass. EERRGGGHHHHH! !! Nice job, Mrs. I - but the papers she sent home were either incomplete or completely wrong, and

the homework she sent home for review of the day's work was a NIGHTMARE. This, along with my daughter's anxiety toward school work and her extreme lack of self confidence in her academic skills, shows me that she was not absorbing and understanding what she was being taught.I could go on for days, but there are cupcakes to be frosted!Andie

[Guest guest]

Yes....you are 100% right....I usually don't even go the principal...I deal with the teacher, Special Education Supervisor and the Asst. Superintendent of Special Education.....and it has worked every single time...and believe me I would go higher if I had to but never did.

I guess it helps that our Asst.Superint of Spec Ed. is very pro-child....and as a Paraprofessional ...we fall under her jurisdiction....but I stll beleive she would be just as good even if I didn't work for the district.

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes... Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 9:03 AM

>> I have met with the principal who wants to watch my sons behavior for the next 90 days...WHATEVER! ! She's throwing the RTI crap at me, which I know the request for an eval supersedes the S-team meetings to try to modify his behavior. I'll tell you a similar experience I had, and it may make you feel better. I was going through similar school district denials, didn't let up, and after some hard advocating, the assistant principal decided to do an observation. She did a complete about-face and quickly decided that I was right, that there was more going on than meets the eye. It wasn't perfect--she insisted on trying a 504 first--but after that failed to solve the

problems, my son did end up with an IEP. So, situations that seem impossible can turn around.Another thing that helped me past the school district denial stage was moving things up the ladder. I would discuss things with one of the special ed directors at the school district SPED office, and she in turn would discuss my concerns with the prinicipal. Sometimes it was a matter of her explaining to the principal or other staff what should be happening, sometimes it was discussing things in more detail than I could get them to do with me. I've gotten a good enough relationship going with one of the special ed directors that I feel I can go with her and discuss problems with the school, and there won't be reprisals anywhere. I haven't had to do that for a good year now though, keeping my fingers crossed. Point being, it is worthwhile to cultivate such relationships. I think now would be a good time for you to start doing that, if you haven't already.

They might be able to make sure the principal does all she should be doing with the observation.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Yes, I would send him when he is having a bad day...I did this with my son...once he got to school he was fine. My son has a behavior plan.....but it doesn't always help. The sad thing is with IEP and BP is they sound great on paper but are not always followed. So, you have to keep an eye open. I always wished I could be a fly on the wall and watch my son in his classes to actually see what goes on.

I don't deal with the principal at all....this past year I rec'd calls from the Asst. principal about problems....but as far as educational problems...I deal the Special Education Supervisor of that building and the teacher...and if that doesn't work...i go to Asst. Spec. ED. Superintendant.

As far as school work....it should be 10 min. per grade...so if she is in 1st grade she should be spending around 10 min on homework. You may want to let your daughter do more but break it up ...10 min. break and then 10 min. I would not push her to finish it...if she doesn't , write a note and attach it. Explain to the teacher what is going on. They can make adjustments on her homework. The teacher also needs to know that your child is not understanding what they are doing...so let her try the math on her own....you can assist but if she really doesn't understand...again put a note on the homework for the teacher to see. The teacher needs to see this and make adjustments, accommodations, etc. Your child may need to be pulled out for extra math help ...etc.

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@...>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth@...>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 3:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school

work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about

the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't

have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts, I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!

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[Guest guest]

Hi,

I know you're sending this to Ruth, who has amazing advice, but I just wanted to put it what we did.

When my son was having a "breakdown", "meltdown", crying or whatever in the morning, I'd run my others to school and call the office and say that I can't bring him in right now. I'd tell them that we're having a rough morning and I need him to get through this.

I never took him in really upset. Sometimes, it took a 1/2 an hour, sometimes 2. But, before I took him in, he was done crying and feeling better.

I, too, worried about how he would be "handled" if he went in that way.

When he first stated to have horrible mornings, I would send him in. I worked as a sub-aide then, and one day, I went by his room and saw him in his desk with bloodshot eyes, his shoulders pulled up and his head scrunched down. Arms were folded almost like he was hugging himself. Broke my heart.

After that, I waiting until I THOUGHT he was ready to go in.

Ugh.

Robin

Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!!

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@...>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth@...>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 2:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school

work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about

the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't

have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts, I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!

[Guest guest]

The fly on the wall would be great, when I pick G up I hope he doesn't spot me right away so I can see what he does when I'm not there.

Called his school again today, spoke to the woman that will do his IEP, she said they do have someone keeping an eye on him in the playground now, and that although they haven't done anything formal they are aware that G has some issues, mainly with social activities. So this looks positive, can only hope they are doing this and not just talking a good game.

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth (DOT) com>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 3:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same

struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after

that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some

arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts,

I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!start: 0000-00-00 end: 0000-00-00

[Guest guest]

I know that I sound like a paranoid, negative mother,,,,but if you have a way of driving/walking to the school during his recess, I'd go and check it out and really see what recess is like for your son.

I was always told that, yes, they knew he needed help and that there was an aide, etc, out there to help kids like Ian.

It wasn't until my 2nd oldest got to the school (she was in 1st) that I heard the truth. She came home and cried about how Ian was all alone standing at the doors. I then started walking by and would watch from a distance that he wouldn't see. I did get asked by the adult outside what I was doing (the 3rd day). (I was glad, cause there ARE a lot of creeps out there), but I told her that I was watching my son. She said ok, (she knew us,,,,,small town)....and I did get an email from the sped teacher that she heard I was there. Asked me if there was something going on that they needed to address.

I told her what I saw and she said they'd watch better. Ugh.

Yeah, right.

"Amazingly",,,,,,,Ian started being allowed to stay inside on 2 of the 3 recesses with the other "sped" kids after that. Ugh.

I always thought, "thanks a lot for keeping an eye on my kid and help him fit"......

My advice, even though laced with a tinge of anger, is to NEVER accept their words as total truth. Be grateful for their help but CHECK EVERYTHING OUT. Don't ask permission to watch him on the playground. JUST DO IT.

Usually what you see isn't a "fluke",,,,it's what's going on all the time.

Robin

Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!!

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth (DOT) com>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 3:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same

struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after

that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some

arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts,

I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!start: 0000-00-00 end: 0000-00-00

[Guest guest]

I done this as well, had spoken to the Deputy head as we were concerned about G being vunerable, she assured us this kind of thing was taken seriously. I started keeping a diary with my son, it was about the only way he would impart any information about his day at school, he was telling me he was being hit and chased, same names coming up everyday. Another mother told my husband some kids had G pinned up against a wall and she had to break it up, so I took a couple of days off and watched, it was as he said.

So I went back to the Deputy Head after Summer break and she said we've never seen that happening, I said well I have, she said Gregor needs to tell us if anything happens, I said because he has Aspies he won't, he has a right to come to school and be safe, and its your job to make sure that happens. Now they tell me they playground supervisor keeps an eye on things, without being imposing.

I'm off on Monday, so I feel another drive by coming on, just to see for myself.

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth (DOT) com>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 3:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same

struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after

that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some

arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts,

I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!start: 0000-00-00 end: 0000-00-00

[Guest guest]

Good for you, Lorraine.

It's sad that we have to check up on those we entrust our kids to, but we do.

Good luck.

Hugs.

Robin

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth (DOT) com>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 3:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same

struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after

that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some

arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts,

I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!start: 0000-00-00 end: 0000-00-00

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[Guest guest]

Do you have any friends who volunteer in the school or could go up and watch the playground once in a while? Does the school have hall monitors? It would be good if you could befriend one....this past year my neighbor was the monitor in his school....we will see what happens now that he is going into 8th. I do wish I could be that fly....cause I know when the BSC observed him...he acts differently.

Let's keep our fingers crossed....

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth (DOT) com>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 3:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same

struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after

that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some

arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts,

I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!start: 0000-00-00 end: 0000-00-00

[Guest guest]

Oh Robin...I too would not send my son in if he was crying and was really bad...my son has moods...and gets angry at me and yells...so I send him anyways when he is in one of those moods. I do remember one time in 3rd grade when all he did was cry...he told the guidance counselor he would come in...but when he hung up ...he started in all over...and to see those tears and pleading eyes....I never did send him that day....and I do give my son "days off"....a day here or there won't hurt ...it is sort of a reward for him....school is so stressful for our kids. My son is exhausted by the end of the day.

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth (DOT) com>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 2:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same

struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after

that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some

arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts,

I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!

[Guest guest]

I agree with Jan 100%, when my son was in nursery (kindergarten) he would burst out crying and plead not to go, so on those days he was clinging on to me and begging me not to leave him I would relent and take him out. Life is hard enough for our special little guys, where's the harm in a little indulgence.

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth (DOT) com>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 2:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same

struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after

that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some

arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts,

I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!

[Guest guest]

Know this isn't really relative, but I need to vent my anger at this woman, I don't know if you are aware of the computer hacker McKinnon, he has been big news here and Aspergers has been in the new as a result, an evil woman called Brown murdered her mother and disposed of the body, now she is claiming she has Aspergers and that is why she never showed any remorse. Obviously she is just jumping on the bandwagon, sure our lovely kids will tell you if you are fat or need wrinkle cream, but they don't conspire to commit murder and lie to cover themselves, this woman deserves a LONG spell in prison.

From: Ashleigh Crane <ashleighcrane@ charter.net>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes..."r_woman2" <me2ruth (DOT) com>Cc: Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 2:53 PM

You are such a wealth of information! Thank you so much! I have a question for you...what if the school insists that the behavior I am seeing at home is not appearing at school? Are they still responsible for this type of functioning as well? According to his teacher, she sees peer issues at school, but not the severe outbursts as he had on Monday. The principal says they are only responsible for addressing the behaviors they see at school, which I have disputed.Also, without a behavior plan in place would you send your child to school when he starts out having a terrible day? My biggest issue with sending him on is that I have no way of knowing how his behavior will be handled nor do I have a guarantee that I will be notified. A part of me says I should send him so they can see the extreme behavior issues - but I worry about the cost to my son emotionally.Thanks again for everyone's

advice. I really appreciate it a great deal.Take care,Ashleigh____________ _________ __~Ashleigh~"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!" ~Dr. Seusswww.picturetrail. com/ashleigh1976 Re: School woes...>> We have the same

struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to > write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 > minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason > she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often > times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's > explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions, and I > don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This is for all of you in this boat (smart kid, school saying they don't see the problems). Many of us have gone through this, maybe all of us. If you want your child to get help, you will probably have to stop going above and beyond in getting school work done at home. What you can do is find out how much time the homework is supposed to take. The teacher will be able to tell you this. Stop your child after

that amount of time (including any time spent just trying to get her started before she has actually done anything) and have her hand in whatever she got done, if anything. Under no circumstances do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. This will get you past the nebulous grading thing. They can't inflate her grades if there is nothing there at all. Keep documentation on everything every night. Write down how many problems or words/paragraphs your child was supposed to do and how many she got done. Write comments on her frame of mind. Did she cry all the way through it? How long did it take you to get her to do anything at all, and what did you have to do to make that happen?Also, there are a couple of things you should know about the IDEA laws. They are specific that high-IQ kids are not exempt from special education. Kids are supposed to be evaluated against their potential, not some

arbitrary measure such as grade-level tests. Also, schools are responsible for functioning and academics both. Kids are supposed to be able to hold a job when they graduate from high school. Whenever they start talking about how smart your child is--remind them of how dysfunctional he/she is. When they start trying to look at standardized grade-level test scores--remind them that they don't mean much for your child since his/her potential is above grade level (or whatever the issue is).If you keep moving up the chain of command, you should hit someone at some point who is familiar with the laws and these issues and can set the others straight. I'm sure how far you have to go depends on the school district. In mine, in some schools, I didn't have to go any further than the building principal; in other schools, I would have to go to one of the school district SPED directors. In some school districts,

I suspect you might have to go higher, maybe even make a complaint at the state education agency or file due process. You'll never know until you start networking around though. You don't really have to have a plan; just start getting to know people and letting them get familiarized with your problems. In my experience, oftentimes the higher level people will take the initiative to get something done.Hope this helps!

[Guest guest]

Ya know, I don't know if it was this group or another a year or so ago, but I remember reading that someone did get one of those microphone things and DID place it in a backpack. Or maybe it was that they put it in a shirt pocket or something? I wish I could remember the details. Heck,,,,,you could just about "bug" anything nowadays.

Being in Highschool limits how much a parent can "see" from a hidden spot.......darnit.

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes... Date: Thursday, August 27, 2009, 11:22 AM

>> I know that I sound like a paranoid, negative mother,,,,but if you have a way of driving/walking to the school during his recess, I'd go and check it out and really see what recess is like for your son.I don't think you're paranoid or negative at all. If I had a way of doing this in high school, I would. I daydream sometimes about getting a hidden microphone of some sort, but never act on it. I probably should. I am sure it would be very enlightening.

[Guest guest]

Is that legal? I would do that that in a heartbeat if I didnt think that someone was goin to throw a lawsuit on me. ( ) Re: School woes... Date: Thursday, August 27, 2009, 11:22 AM

>> I know that I sound like a paranoid, negative mother,,,,but if you have a way of driving/walking to the school during his recess, I'd go and check it out and really see what recess is like for your son.I don't think you're paranoid or negative at all. If I had a way of doing this in high school, I would. I daydream sometimes about getting a hidden microphone of some sort, but never act on it. I probably should. I am sure it would be very enlightening.

[Guest guest]

I don't know if it's legal....probably not. BUT......it would either show good things or bad.

If they were bad and you talked with the school or had to get a lawyer (God forbid), I don't really think people would care in the long run.

Let us know if you do it!!!!!!!

Robin

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: School woes... Date: Thursday, August 27, 2009, 11:22 AM

>> I know that I sound like a paranoid, negative mother,,,,but if you have a way of driving/walking to the school during his recess, I'd go and check it out and really see what recess is like for your son.I don't think you're paranoid or negative at all. If I had a way of doing this in high school, I would. I daydream sometimes about getting a hidden microphone of some sort, but never act on it. I probably should. I am sure it would be very enlightening.

[Guest guest]

No no no. No RtI crap and no watching behavior for 90 days. What a

joke! lol. Put your request for an educational evaluation in writing

and CC copies up the food chain. Go over principals head to director

of sped. If he has a processing speed delay, it should show up in the

evaluation and you will have data to back up your requests. Data is

your new middle name. Do not be put off by any " wait and see " stuff.

Be polite but push forward!

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) Re: School woes...

I have met with the principal who

wants to watch my sons behavior for the next 90 days...WHATEVER!! 

She's

throwing the RTI crap at me, which I know the request for an eval

supersedes the

S-team meetings to try to modify his behavior.  She is trying to avoid

a

label...in my opinion, she's trying to avoid helping my child!  I am

meeting with his teacher at 3:45 and will hopefully get somewhere with

her, but

Im not crossing my fingers. 

I mentioned some of the calming

techniques his therapi

st suggested (blowing bubbles to settle down...)

and the

principal scoffed at it.  I reminded her she would have to do it if it

was

put in his IEP. Again, I got the point that he wont be getting an IEP. 

HAH!   I've placed a call to TNStep, and hopefully will get someone to

attend a meeting with me. 

 

My son used to love school,

but told me today about some of the classmates teasing him.  Of

course, the principal thought it was normal.  Normal to her and normal

for

MY child aren't the same!!! 

 

I've told the school about his

processing speed...they don't care.  In their words - as long as they

don't

see the behaviors at school, it is out of their control.  But they ARE

seeing it at school!!!! They want to stick their heads in the sand and

be

blind!!!

 

I have documentation of these

issues going back to 18 months old!  What more do these people want?? 

Im not going to sit by while my only child is bullied by other kids as

well as a

school system! 

 

_______________________

~Ashleigh~

 

" So you see! There's no end to the things you might

know,

Depending how far beyond Zebra you go! " ~Dr. Seuss

 

www.picturetrail.com/ashleigh1976

Re:

( ) Re: School woes...

To:

Date: Tuesday, August

25, 2009, 2:24 PM

 

I agree why not bring sticks in...as long as he keeps them

in bac

kpack who are they hurting?  haveing them in his

backpack

would probably make him feel calm. As for putting him in the

hallway

alone...outrageous.  I do think you need to sit down with

her.  Those links that were posted from O.A.S.I.S for

teacher...those were really good.  Print them up and sit down

with her.  If she refuses, set up an appt. with she and

principal

or superintendant of your school district.

On Tue, Aug 25, 2009 at 8:34 AM,

lovetoeatchocolatec ake <doyourecycle@

gmail.com> wrote:

 

>

> is in the diagnosis process..sort of.

He has been diagnosed by his former psychiatrist and

current

behavioral therapist, but the school is in denial due to

his

academics not being affected last year. To make a long

story short,

I had him evaluated and completely disagree with the

results as they

were determined after a brief 2 hr visit, a few forms, and

a great

deal of dismissal despite the factual input the testing

psychologist

could have gotten had he contacted s therapist and

other

professionals.

>

> Not surprisingly, is

struggling in school this year with completing his work in

the

timeframe allowed. He has a formal ADHD diagnosis, but the

school

has not begun an IEP/504 for him despite my loud squeaky

wheel.

Because he is taking longer to get his work done, he is

being

punished by missing recess time which is counterproductive

for a

child with excess energy, IMO.

>

> I found out today

when he gets upset at school he is put in the hallway until

he can

" gain control of his emotions " . I understand the classroom

needs to

continue learning, but if was in control of his

emotions in

the first place, would he be so upset easily?

>

> He

likes to collect things..this week its sticks. His teacher

has

created a rule this year that children cannot bring things

inside

from the playground. Well,

brought in some sticks to

bring

home. He told his " friend " , who opened s backpack in

front of

the whole classroom. was embarrassed and started

crying. ((Im

not defending his rule breaking, btw)). So, out in the hall

he goes

until he can gain " control " . Time passes ( said it

was 2

years..lol), and she checks on him. Her warning to him is

" if this

ever happens again, you will go straight to the principals

office! "

I understand he broke a school rule, but come on...?? Am I

way out

of line for getting upset?? The message relayed to

me was " if

you cry at school one more time, you are going to the

principals

office " , which surely couldn't have been her real message,

you

think?

>

> I have asked for a meeting with his

teachers, the principal and the special ed department, but

Im not

getting my hopes up. They haven't been too forthcoming with

help

thus far despite noise!

> ************ **

I'm pissed

about him not being able to bring sticks=2

0in. THIS IS THE

ANTI-BOY

SENTIMENT THAT IS RAMPANT IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS. Read, " The War

Against

Boys. " It'll tell you how women teachers want our boys to

act more

like our sweet, little, well-behaved girls.

You wrote that,

THE TEACHER CREATED THE RULE. I say, bullshit. She's

targeting your

kid. Challenge her. If you let her " win " here, she knows

she can

make you back down. There's more going on with that

so-called,

teacher.

Woman, you have to learn how to be more of a pain in

the ass to these people. Seriously, the squeeky wheel gets

the

attention. It is no skin off her back if he brings a few

sticks in

and puts them in his backpack. --unless he's playing swords

with

them and bringing in big ones.--Your school is making rules

for the

sake of rules. They don't sound very child friendly,

imho.

Going to the hall to gain control--NO! !!!!!!!!! !!

Unless there's someone trained to help him with that

process, NO!!

Finally, NO CHILD SHOULD BE MADE TO MISS RECESS AS A

PUN

ISHMENT. I

highly doubt and would place money that they can't enforce

that if

you disagree. Stand up for your child. Any chance you can

get

someone you know and trust--who's been around the block

with this

stuff--to go with you to the meeting, too?

[Guest guest]

It is sometimes easy to fall into a trap where they say everything is

fine and you don't know what to do except scream because it isn't fine.

You have to put your ducks in a row, so to speak. Outline the

problems and gather supporting documentation. Jot down the usual

excuses that they make in their attempts to make you go away. Find

explanations to use when those people say these same things again.

Really, I have found that they don't invent new ways not to help a kid.

lol. So there are usually the same basic phrases being used over and

over again. You can find ways to argue against these comments and find

data that will help support your points prior to the meeting.

I would not accept someone saying, " this is all within normal " range.

At an IEP meeting once where I was an advocate, a teacher dismissed the

concerns of the parent by saying all kids that age did that and it was

age appropriate. I disagreed because I was fairly sure it was not. I

looked up normal developmental milestones after the meeting and I was

right. So the parent could then use that information to advocate for

help in that area. You have to use your head and if something sounds

wrong, investigate it. Ask where they get their information or look it

up yourself. Ask to have " rules " put in writing or know where they are

getting that specific rule. Read what it says and ma

ke sure it is not

being misused or misstated.

I just had a meeting last school year for my youngest and he is having

a horrible time with handwriting. The OT made the mistake of saying,

" All kids this age... " and I did not even let her finish. I had been

in the classroom, I had seen the work of other kids hanging on the

walls and I also spent time trying to read what my ds was writing and

it was really hard work for me! lol. As soon as I told her that was

not true, she stopped trying to promote that as a reason to deny

services.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Re: School woes...

I can relate! I just got off the phone about an hour ago with the

school district's psychologist. This woman observed my daughter (now 6)

the beginning of last school year. All the strange things my daughter

did that no other child in the class was doing, she considered 'age

appropriate'. AND... my daughter's teacher last year, for some reason,

felt the need to accept substandard work from my daughter because she

'didn't expect any better from her'. My daughter's report card showed

decent grades, thanks to the teacher's modifications, so although

my

husband and I are screaming for an evaluation, according to them, she

isn't showing she is at risk enough to warrant an eval.

We have the same struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to

write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5

minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some

reason she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story.

She often times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways

it's explained to her. She has such a problem with following

directions, and I don't think she has ever completed an assignment

independently.

This year's teacher is making a record of all the behaviors and

struggles she notices. I'm hoping she will be a huge help in getting

the district to see A's deficiencies. I have asked her to be honest and

not try to cover anything up.

I have also considered putting A's homework in front of her, explaining

it to her, setting a timer for 30 min (WAAAYYY longer than she should

take) and leaving her to do her work on her own. Of course if she

needs it explained again, I will help her, but if she can't manage to

complete her work without someone standing there and leading her

through it step by step, she will have to turn it in as is. Perhaps

this is what it will take for them to see a problem. Apparently the

struggles

with homework last year - to make sure she saw the importance

of completing it and doing it correctly - was only delaying the

process. If she doesn't get it in school well enough to bring the

knowledge home and do a page of homework, then she's not learning

effectively.

I am determined to get the school to realize she needs help this year.

I feel the cover up last year was only to make the teacher look good.

This is a teacher who, the FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN, pulled me aside

after school and told me my daughter needed to be pulled out to give

her another year to mature. She said that if I kept her in, she would

get her 'as far as she could' but felt she would most likely need to

repeat K. Then, at the end of the year, the teacher spent lots of

energy patting herself on the back for managing to take this hopeless

case and get her to pass. EERRGGGHHHHH!!! Nice job, Mrs. I - but the

papers she sent home were either incomplete or completely wrong, and

the homework she sent home for review of the day's work was a

NIGHTMARE. This, along with my daughter's anxiety toward school work

and her extreme lack of self confidence in her academic skills, shows

me that she was not absorbing and understanding what she was being

taught.

I could go on for days, but there are cupcakes to be frosted!

Andie

0D

[Guest guest]

I am experiencing the same thing, had a meeting with my sons teacher and dep head,fin their view there is no point in making an IEP for him as he is keeping up with class work, he doesn't need supervision in the playground as he has he has friends playing with him.

In our view he can read well, but doesn't really understand what he is reading, he can recognise big numbers but seems to have problems understanding addition/subtraction. And the "friends" he has in the playground are other children that chant his name and chase him.

I am taking the advice on here and creating a paper trail, keeping notes on all meetings and sending a copy to the school, so they know. Then at the next meeting I can bring up what they said they will do.

At the moment they don't want to make him seem different. lol

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: School woes... Date: Saturday, 29 August, 2009, 4:34 PM

It is sometimes easy to fall into a trap where they say everything is fine and you don't know what to do except scream because it isn't fine. You have to put your ducks in a row, so to speak. Outline the problems and gather supporting documentation. Jot down the usual excuses that they make in their attempts to make you go away. Find explanations to use when those people say these same things again. Really, I have found that they don't invent new ways not to help a kid. lol. So there are usually the same basic phrases being used over and over again. You can find ways to argue against these comments and find data that will help support your points prior to the meeting.I would not accept someone saying, "this is all within normal" range. At an IEP meeting once where I was an advocate, a teacher dismissed the concerns of the parent by saying all kids that age did that and it was age

appropriate. I disagreed because I was fairly sure it was not. I looked up normal developmental milestones after the meeting and I was right. So the parent could then use that information to advocate for help in that area. You have to use your head and if something sounds wrong, investigate it. Ask where they get their information or look it up yourself. Ask to have "rules" put in writing or know where they are getting that specific rule. Read what it says and make sure it is not being misused or misstated.I just had a meeting last school year for my youngest and he is having a horrible time with handwriting. The OT made the mistake of saying, "All kids this age..." and I did not even let her finish. I had been in the classroom, I had seen the work of other kids hanging on the walls and I also spent time trying to read what my ds was writing and it was really hard work for me! lol. As soon as I

told her that was not true, she stopped trying to promote that as a reason to deny services. Roxanna"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke ( ) Re: School woes...I can relate! I just got off the phone about an hour ago with the school district's psychologist. This woman observed my daughter (now 6) the beginning of last school year. All the strange things my

daughter did that no other child in the class was doing, she considered 'age appropriate' . AND... my daughter's teacher last year, for some reason, felt the need to accept substandard work from my daughter because she 'didn't expect any better from her'. My daughter's report card showed decent grades, thanks to the teacher's modifications, so althoughmy husband and I are screaming for an evaluation, according to them, she isn't showing she is at risk enough to warrant an eval.We have the same struggle with homework. It takes her over 2 hours to write a few words that would take any other kid in her class about 5 minutes to do. She knows the answers when we ask her, but for some reason she just can't seem to get it on paper. Math is another story. She often times really doesn't get it no matter how many different ways it's explained to her. She has such a problem with following directions,

and I don't think she has ever completed an assignment independently.This year's teacher is making a record of all the behaviors and struggles she notices. I'm hoping she will be a huge help in getting the district to see A's deficiencies. I have asked her to be honest and not try to cover anything up.I have also considered putting A's homework in front of her, explaining it to her, setting a timer for 30 min (WAAAYYY longer than she should take) and leaving her to do her work on her own. Of course if she needs it explained again, I will help her, but if she can't manage to complete her work without someone standing there and leading her through it step by step, she will have to turn it in as is. Perhaps this is what it will take for them to see a problem. Apparently the struggleswith homework last year - to make sure she saw the importance of completing it and doing it correctly - was

only delaying the process. If she doesn't get it in school well enough to bring the knowledge home and do a page of homework, then she's not learning effectively.I am determined to get the school to realize she needs help this year. I feel the cover up last year was only to make the teacher look good. This is a teacher who, the FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN, pulled me aside after school and told me my daughter needed to be pulled out to give her another year to mature. She said that if I kept her in, she would get her 'as far as she could' but felt she would most likely need to repeat K. Then, at the end of the year, the teacher spent lots of energy patting herself on the back for managing to take this hopeless case and get her to pass. EERRGGGHHHHH! !! Nice job, Mrs. I - but the papers she sent home were either incomplete or completely wrong, and the homework she sent home for review of the day's

work was a NIGHTMARE. This, along with my daughter's anxiety toward school work and her extreme lack of self confidence in her academic skills, shows me that she was not absorbing and understanding what she was being taught.I could go on for days, but there are cupcakes to be frosted!Andie0D