Re: new to this all

[Guest guest]

Prevention is really the only way to deal with them. Also, you could try the gluten free casein free diet that we do which helped my daughter a lot (she's 5, diagnosed at 2) and also removing dyes. He is probably getting overloaded by sensory stimuli... a store would be the place! You need to respect his current tolerances I think. Do they do OT for sensory issues on 5 year olds? Someone here must know. My daughter had that for a couple of years.

Jen H5yo AspieOn Wed, Jul 7, 2010 at 7:04 PM, candacelbaine <candacelbaine@...> wrote:

 

hello i have a five year old that was recently diganoised wit AS ive kinda known since hes was about a year and a half but kept trying to find another reason for his symptoms so im still in the learning phase of this all my son is smart and handsom and one of the best things that has ever happend to me but i could really use some advise on how to deal with certin situiations he is very aggressive he will have a melt down in the store and start attacking me or one of his siblings or even him self and i have to kinda of wrestle him down and hold him till he calms down i know that sounds bad the whole wrestiling part but he is very strong and he has overpowered me befor but i dont know what else to do to keep him from hurting himself and others he dosnt usully stop the attack untill he has caused serious harm he has busted his brothers nose several times allready and the looks i get from people when i do have to restrain him bothers me his psych told me not to worry about it that it was better to restrain him then let him hurt someone or himself, but im sure all you know what i mean other people can be so judgmental if they dont understand the situation so if any one has any advise on how to deal with the meltdowns or the defiance please let me know thank you

[Guest guest]

I would try to find a behaviorist. I have been working with the

therapists at Yale Parent and Child Conduct Clinic (over the

phone) for the last year. You want a therapist that has been

certified in behavior therapy. The biggest mistake I made

for years was to see therapist after therapist that

was not trained in behavior therapy.

You will be asked what triggers the outbursts,

you will rehearse calmer behaviors, you will shorten

or eliminate store trips or other triggers,

you will be asked to give him a point chart to

earn rewards (tv time etc) etc .

If you think there is no hope at all for behavior therapy,

some of us have been helped by using an antidepressant

in some kids it lowers the hyperaurosal level. These

medications like zoloft have lower rates of side effects

that other medication. If at a very low dose 25-50mg

zoloft you see any increase in agitation or aggression

you stop this medication. Surprisingly for some kids

their anxiety comes out as agression and anger especially

if they do not have a passive/timid personality but actually

like stimulation (but can't manage their emotions in it).

The second class of medication

used for aggression is Rispedal again a low dose

to start and monitor weight gain and other side effects

(increase in any tics). Rispedal has the advantage of

working for some kids very quickly although the side

effects can prevent there use for some kids.

Some kids the stimulation of stores, movies, parties triggers

aggression or meltdowns. I would just avoid this totally

for now since he can't cope. The behaviorist will want to

shape behaviors at home and school first. They will

want to see sleep and emotional control issues shaped

before they look at issues that are novel.

It is so tramatic for the family to have to experience

this level of aggression. Try to put an end to it

now for the sake of your other children's health.

I would agressively seek help from a behaviorist and

one that is certified to work with kids with autism

spectrum disorders. You will find out fast

if their opinion is that things are out of control

and medication is a must.

Good luck,

Pam

>

> hello i have a five year old that was recently diganoised wit AS ive kinda

known since hes was about a year and a half but kept trying to find another

reason for his symptoms so im still in the learning phase of this all my son is

smart and handsom and one of the best things that has ever happend to me but i

could really use some advise on how to deal with certin situiations he is very

aggressive he will have a melt down in the store and start attacking me or one

of his siblings or even him self and i have to kinda of wrestle him down and

hold him till he calms down i know that sounds bad the whole wrestiling part but

he is very strong and he has overpowered me befor but i dont know what else to

do to keep him from hurting himself and others he dosnt usully stop the attack

untill he has caused serious harm he has busted his brothers nose several times

allready and the looks i get from people when i do have to restrain him bothers

me his psych told me not to worry about it that it was better to restrain him

then let him hurt someone or himself, but im sure all you know what i mean other

people can be so judgmental if they dont understand the situation so if any one

has any advise on how to deal with the meltdowns or the defiance please let me

know thank you

>

[Guest guest]

I have a 5-yr old with AS, too. We found that our son had meltdowns in stores

due to sensory issues - lights, noise, lots of people, activity, etc. Could this

be a possibility? Is it a common " denominator " in other situations when your son

gets aggressive and has meltdowns by any chance? Our son would get aggressive

and have other behavior issues when there were a lot of kids at his daycare, too

- less kids, less issues.

We have experienced periods of aggression due to diet, medications, etc. as

well, but it took me a while to realize that our son was in sensory overload in

some situations.

Eliminating some things from our son's diet helped quite a bit as well. Even my

very skeptical hubby saw a difference in about 3 days with meltdowns. Our son

was 4 years old when we discovered this connection.

As far as looks from people are concerned - I understand how difficult that can

be to deal with. I try to remind myself that they do not understand, too, but,

whew...it can be hard! I have heard that some parents hand out little cards that

provide a brief explanation to onlookers.

>

> hello i have a five year old that was recently diganoised wit AS ive kinda

known since hes was about a year and a half but kept trying to find another

reason for his symptoms so im still in the learning phase of this all my son is

smart and handsom and one of the best things that has ever happend to me but i

could really use some advise on how to deal with certin situiations he is very

aggressive he will have a melt down in the store and start attacking me or one

of his siblings or even him self and i have to kinda of wrestle him down and

hold him till he calms down i know that sounds bad the whole wrestiling part but

he is very strong and he has overpowered me befor but i dont know what else to

do to keep him from hurting himself and others he dosnt usully stop the attack

untill he has caused serious harm he has busted his brothers nose several times

allready and the looks i get from people when i do have to restrain him bothers

me his psych told me not to worry about it that it was better to restrain him

then let him hurt someone or himself, but im sure all you know what i mean other

people can be so judgmental if they dont understand the situation so if any one

has any advise on how to deal with the meltdowns or the defiance please let me

know thank you

>

[Guest guest]

When my son is sensory overloaded in public, we massage his shoulders or rub his hands or arms. I can even just trace the palm of his hand and it will help. It's a quiet way of dealing with it. We kept hoping he'd find a way to calm himself down, but rubbing his own hands just doesn't work. He will ask to leave the room or building sometimes to get out of the situation and he's almost 14 and has street smarts about him so we let him usually buy he prefers the massaging and rubbing.Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: Holmes <jenuhferr@...>Sender: Date: Wed, 7 Jul 2010 21:21:23 -0400< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) new to this all Prevention is really the only way to deal with them. Also, you could try the gluten free casein free diet that we do which helped my daughter a lot (she's 5, diagnosed at 2) and also removing dyes. He is probably getting overloaded by sensory stimuli... a store would be the place! You need to respect his current tolerances I think. Do they do OT for sensory issues on 5 year olds? Someone here must know. My daughter had that for a couple of years.Jen H5yo AspieOn Wed, Jul 7, 2010 at 7:04 PM, candacelbaine <candacelbaine > wrote: hello i have a five year old that was recently diganoised wit AS ive kinda known since hes was about a year and a half but kept trying to find another reason for his symptoms so im still in the learning phase of this all my son is smart and handsom and one of the best things that has ever happend to me but i could really use some advise on how to deal with certin situiations he is very aggressive he will have a melt down in the store and start attacking me or one of his siblings or even him self and i have to kinda of wrestle him down and hold him till he calms down i know that sounds bad the whole wrestiling part but he is very strong and he has overpowered me befor but i dont know what else to do to keep him from hurting himself and others he dosnt usully stop the attack untill he has caused serious harm he has busted his brothers nose several times allready and the looks i get from people when i do have to restrain him bothers me his psych told me not to worry about it that it was better to restrain him then let him hurt someone or himself, but im sure all you know what i mean other people can be so judgmental if they dont understand the situation so if any one has any advise on how to deal with the meltdowns or the defiance please let me know thank you

[Guest guest]

My oldest used to have a meltdown in stores, starting as an infant. Certain stores, certain smells, lights, people...And yes, I remember well the people's angry faces towards me. I had a few even tell me off over the years. It is really stressful.

You should try any number of things to see what helps.

1. Avoid shopping with him when it's crowded in the stores - try to go at odd times, if possible.

2. limit your errands to one or two per outing because the longer you go, the less he can handle it. This means, don't stop at the bank, the post office and then try to go shopping. It's too much.

3. Shop for shorter periods of time. Sometimes I would get a few things and have to go back later for the rest. Sometimes I would just wait for dh to get home and go alone. Don't try to keep going like "normal" because this is not normal. Give yourself a break! Give him more time and more allowances for having to learn how to deal with the world around him. It's going to take time.

4. Monitor his behavior before he melts down. I would bet that he has a variety of "symptoms" that you can spot to begin to know when he's about to pop. For instance, mine used to get flushed in the face, get louder, start acting hyper. After a while, we started to learn how he looked right before he hit the wall - and we could avoid many problems then, by leaving before he fell apart or by providing help before he fell apart.

5. Provide a bag of sensory items to work with while shopping. Squishy toys, small writing toys, goldfish crackers, etc. hand then out with praise for behaving as you go through the store. Or note when he is getting anxious and give him a squishy and let him know why.

6. Provide him with a visual/written schedule of what you are doing. In grocery stores, you can even have him help find items to distract. But usually if you try to include him in what is going on (i.e. "help me find the bread...this way? which one? what color is that? etc.) it might help. It depends on how easily distracted he is, how fast he falls apart, etc.

7. If he is verbal, try talking to him about things that are bothering him when he is calmer. My ds never could tell me what bothered him but later when he was about 18 yo, he started mentioning things such as how the smell of bread really bugs him.

8. If possible, note if he has more or less trouble in certain stores and think about why that might be. My ds, for instance, would start screaming the minute we walked in to a Walmart store close to our home. If I drove to one 20 minutes away, he did better. The difference? The one closer to us was old and perhaps there was something about the lights or sounds or smells that bothered him that were not a problem in the newer store. All I know is that once I realized he had preferences, I used that to my advantage. <g>

9. write a social story (or a few) and read it to him a lot. This would be a short story about going to the store, what we do there, how we behave while there, etc. Keep it positive. Then praise his appropriate behavior a lot!

10. Also write a social story about using your words when you are angry. Try to get him to say it instead of hitting his siblings. But from the sounds of it, he is a lot like my ds and it will be a while before he can calm down enough to do this. Still, start teaching it now and when he's ready, it will start sinking in! Until then, try to figure out what is wrong and give him the words if you can, "You are angry because you are tired and want to go home now...." or similar.

11. Realize that he will outgrow this eventually! Remind yourself that he will each time because I know it seems like it will never end.

for us, our ds's anxiety was so high that it caused a lot of the problems. I mean, he acted first and thought later. We eventually had to start him on medication (zoloft) for anxiety. This was the real end to his melting down "all" the time, the beginning of his being able to learn how to deal with things. He also had a severe speech delay so that contributed to the problems.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) new to this all

hello i have a five year old that was recently diganoised wit AS ive kinda known since hes was about a year and a half but kept trying to find another reason for his symptoms so im still in the learning phase of this all my son is smart and handsom and one of the best things that has ever happend to me but i could really use some advise on how to deal with certin situiations he is very aggressive he will have a melt down in the store and start attacking me or one of his siblings or even him self and i have to kinda of wrestle him down and hold him till he calms down i know that sounds bad the whole wrestiling part but he is very strong and he has overpowered me befor but i dont know what else to do to keep him from hurting himself and others he dosnt usully stop the attack untill he has caused serious harm he has busted his brothers nose several times allready and the looks i get from people when i do have to restrain him bothers me his psych told me not to worry abo

ut it that it was better to restrain him then let him hurt someone or himself, but im sure all you know what i mean other people can be so judgmental if they dont understand the situation so if any one has any advise on how to deal with the meltdowns or the defiance please let me know thank you