Re: Help With Animal Fears / New pet

[Guest guest]

my boyfriend son jd he was like love idea of a dog wasnt good with the dog when i started dating my boyfriends he was more like threaten by it after a while he saw hiw much i loved the dog followed what i did giving the dog attention he loves dog now i warn you it took a while glad he loves animals nowFrom: Amie <amiedawn1@...>Subject: ( ) Help With Animal Fears / New pet Date: Sunday, September 12, 2010, 12:33 AM

My 6yr old daughter is very afraid of all animals big or small, to the point where she has lost friends and we avoid parks and certain stores because of it. However, after over a year of her begging for a cat (I do not understand why she has been begging, as she hs been afaid to be in the same room as one) we decided to adopt a cat in hopes it may help her overcome her fears.

The cat we adopted is the mellowest most mild tempered cat I have ever seen. My daughter wants to play and pet with the cat, but is still scared to approach it, and if the cat approaches her she jumps on the couch or runs to another room. She will now pet the cat hesitantly if I am holding her, but that is it.

Any tips out there on helping our HFA/aspie kids adjust to pets/overcome thier fears with animals?

The cat is at the point where she runs from my daughter when she enters the room as she acts so erratically. It is unfair to ask either of them to live that way, but yet I do not want to yet give up hope that she can adjust. My daughter loves the idea of having a cat and wants to keep her, but my husband is ready to throw in the towel and call it a lost cause.

It has only been two weeks, but how long should we wait? Any hints, tips and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Amie

[Guest guest]

Maybe if you adept a kitten will be much easier, because she will feel more in control and less anxious. My Aspie son loves animals, we have in fact 3 cats (that used to be kittens when we took in the house an abandoned cat that was pregnant) he is the other exteme, he is so trusting of animals that he is always trying to kiss cats and dogs, and hugs them any chance he gets, so I have to be careful and watching him with our friend's dogs. What about a hamster? instead of a cat, and you can explain that if you have a hampster you cannot have a cat because cats like to hunt and would try to eat the hamster, or something like that.Best of luck this is the only advice I have, hope it helped,From: Amie <amiedawn1@...> Sent: Sat, September 11, 2010 8:33:25 PMSubject: ( ) Help With Animal

Fears / New pet

My 6yr old daughter is very afraid of all animals big or small, to the point where she has lost friends and we avoid parks and certain stores because of it. However, after over a year of her begging for a cat (I do not understand why she has been begging, as she hs been afaid to be in the same room as one) we decided to adopt a cat in hopes it may help her overcome her fears.

The cat we adopted is the mellowest most mild tempered cat I have ever seen. My daughter wants to play and pet with the cat, but is still scared to approach it, and if the cat approaches her she jumps on the couch or runs to another room. She will now pet the cat hesitantly if I am holding her, but that is it.

Any tips out there on helping our HFA/aspie kids adjust to pets/overcome thier fears with animals?

The cat is at the point where she runs from my daughter when she enters the room as she acts so erratically. It is unfair to ask either of them to live that way, but yet I do not want to yet give up hope that she can adjust. My daughter loves the idea of having a cat and wants to keep her, but my husband is ready to throw in the towel and call it a lost cause.

It has only been two weeks, but how long should we wait? Any hints, tips and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Amie

[Guest guest]

Hi Amie, every kid is different in regards to their level of pet fears. For

some it's the sound of a barking dog. For many kids on the spectrum the issue is

that a pet is simply unpredictable. It does its own thing so your daughter is

probably more afraid of what it might do (e.g.jump at her, hiss). You are

probably looking at a time issue for your daughter and cat to get used to each

other.

My son (now age 11) was afraid of animals, especially dogs for the longest time.

My daughter has always wanted a dog. We were at a pet shop that has one of

those small enclosed rooms where you can sit with a dog. They were with a little

shih-tzu puppy that my daughter loved and unbelievably, he said he would like it

too.

He enjoyed the puppy but really didn't interact with it. I would say within the

first 3 months he would allow the dog to sit on his lap and maybe he would pat

its head. We taught him how to gently pet the dog but never forced the

interactions. Within 6-9 months he was genuinely pleased if the dog came to him

and said he loves the dog. And after a year had gone by, my son actually left

his normal perch at the computer to lay down next to the dog and pet him.

Success! We're on year two and while he is not the kind of kid that wants to

play fetch games with his dog, he does enjoy being with the dog and the dog

seeks him out.

My daughter has an 8th grade friend (who I suspect is Asperger's) and it's

always interesting to see how she interacts with the dog. She went from running

away from the dog if it came near her, to tolerating it, later buying it a toy

and now she's overcome her pet fear to have two gerbils in her home.

Since our kids like predictability, I would suggest that you show her the cat's

routine. She can help with meal time by putting the food down for the cat. It's

a predictable pattern and your cat will associate your daughter with receiving

food, a positive! Your daughter requested a cat so the interest is definitely

there. And even if she doesn't respond to the cat like others do, she will come

to enjoy the cat in her own way. Give it some time.

--Dawn

[Guest guest]

I feel for ya. We have a very small non-threatening dog I got about a year and

a half ago, and my daughter is still afraid of it to the point of running into

the street to get away from this three pound little chihuahua. Unfortunately

the poor puppy has to stay in her exercise pen a lot because of it. I thought

for sure she would be used to her by now, but she is completely terrified. I

know kids come first, but I really love this dog too, so I would definitely be

interested in seeing if anyone else has solved this problem as getting rid of my

dog is really not an option for me.

>

> My 6yr old daughter is very afraid of all animals big or small, to the point

where she has lost friends and we avoid parks and certain stores because of it.

However, after over a year of her begging for a cat (I do not understand why she

has been begging, as she hs been afaid to be in the same room as one) we decided

to adopt a cat in hopes it may help her overcome her fears.

> The cat we adopted is the mellowest most mild tempered cat I have ever seen.

My daughter wants to play and pet with the cat, but is still scared to approach

it, and if the cat approaches her she jumps on the couch or runs to another

room. She will now pet the cat hesitantly if I am holding her, but that is it.

> Any tips out there on helping our HFA/aspie kids adjust to pets/overcome thier

fears with animals?

> The cat is at the point where she runs from my daughter when she enters the

room as she acts so erratically. It is unfair to ask either of them to live that

way, but yet I do not want to yet give up hope that she can adjust. My daughter

loves the idea of having a cat and wants to keep her, but my husband is ready to

throw in the towel and call it a lost cause.

> It has only been two weeks, but how long should we wait? Any hints, tips

and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

>

> Amie

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you everyone for your posts, they have been helpful.

Dawn, I want to thank you in particular for the reminder that she is enjoying

the cat in her own way. Sometimes it is easy to forget that our kids enjoy

things differently, and my daughter does receive great enjoyment from just

watching the cat. The idea of reinforcing positive interactions between them

with food is fabulous!

Thank you again!

Amie

>

> Hi Amie, every kid is different in regards to their level of pet fears. For

some it's the sound of a barking dog. For many kids on the spectrum the issue is

that a pet is simply unpredictable. It does its own thing so your daughter is

probably more afraid of what it might do (e.g.jump at her, hiss). You are

probably looking at a time issue for your daughter and cat to get used to each

other.

>

> My son (now age 11) was afraid of animals, especially dogs for the longest

time. My daughter has always wanted a dog. We were at a pet shop that has one

of those small enclosed rooms where you can sit with a dog. They were with a

little shih-tzu puppy that my daughter loved and unbelievably, he said he would

like it too.

>

> He enjoyed the puppy but really didn't interact with it. I would say within

the first 3 months he would allow the dog to sit on his lap and maybe he would

pat its head. We taught him how to gently pet the dog but never forced the

interactions. Within 6-9 months he was genuinely pleased if the dog came to him

and said he loves the dog. And after a year had gone by, my son actually left

his normal perch at the computer to lay down next to the dog and pet him.

Success! We're on year two and while he is not the kind of kid that wants to

play fetch games with his dog, he does enjoy being with the dog and the dog

seeks him out.

>

> My daughter has an 8th grade friend (who I suspect is Asperger's) and it's

always interesting to see how she interacts with the dog. She went from running

away from the dog if it came near her, to tolerating it, later buying it a toy

and now she's overcome her pet fear to have two gerbils in her home.

>

> Since our kids like predictability, I would suggest that you show her the

cat's routine. She can help with meal time by putting the food down for the cat.

It's a predictable pattern and your cat will associate your daughter with

receiving food, a positive! Your daughter requested a cat so the interest is

definitely there. And even if she doesn't respond to the cat like others do,

she will come to enjoy the cat in her own way. Give it some time.

> --Dawn

>

[Guest guest]

We recently got a puppy for my NT 9 yr old daughter as a surprise for her birthday. I told my 14 yr old son with Aspergers about the puppy about a month before she arrived because I knew he was not going to like it. We used to have a cat and he liked the cat and has always said he prefers cats and does not like dogs. He has heard about the comparison between people with Aspergers and some cat mannerisms and he totally agreed.

The puppy arrived about 10 days ago and guess who is one of her biggest fans...MY SON! She's a 10 week old chihuahua puppy and is very affectionate and loves people. The puppy really likes Dylan, too. When he sits on the floor to be with the puppy, she will jump into his lap and nestle down to rest. It is very sweet. He will also lay down on the couch with her so she can sleep all cuddled up underneath his chin. He is loving the outwardly demonstratively affectionate puppy! My daughter has an earlier bedtime so Dylan knows the puppy is 100 percent his after 8:30pm. He will stop and/or delay video games just to spend time with the puppy, which is a big deal!

He said the other day "She really likes me and wants to be with me. That does not normally happen." He was talking about people/creatures in general, not just dogs. He can visually see how much the puppy likes him and he absolutely loves it. I thought he might like the puppy more than he thought he would when I originally told him, but I never thought it would be this good, this soon. I am so happy that he can feel and see how much the puppy loves him. There are no shades of gray there, which is what he struggles with socially.

From: Amie <amiedawn1@...> Sent: Mon, September 13, 2010 11:06:59 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Help With Animal Fears / New pet

Thank you everyone for your posts, they have been helpful. Dawn, I want to thank you in particular for the reminder that she is enjoying the cat in her own way. Sometimes it is easy to forget that our kids enjoy things differently, and my daughter does receive great enjoyment from just watching the cat. The idea of reinforcing positive interactions between them with food is fabulous!Thank you again!Amie>> Hi Amie, every kid is different in regards to their level of pet fears. For some it's the sound of a barking dog. For many kids on the spectrum the issue is that a pet is simply unpredictable. It does its own thing so your daughter is probably more afraid of what it

might do (e.g.jump at her, hiss). You are probably looking at a time issue for your daughter and cat to get used to each other.> > My son (now age 11) was afraid of animals, especially dogs for the longest time. My daughter has always wanted a dog. We were at a pet shop that has one of those small enclosed rooms where you can sit with a dog. They were with a little shih-tzu puppy that my daughter loved and unbelievably, he said he would like it too.> > He enjoyed the puppy but really didn't interact with it. I would say within the first 3 months he would allow the dog to sit on his lap and maybe he would pat its head. We taught him how to gently pet the dog but never forced the interactions. Within 6-9 months he was genuinely pleased if the dog came to him and said he loves the dog. And after a year had gone by, my son actually left his normal perch at the computer to lay down next to the dog and pet him. Success! We're on

year two and while he is not the kind of kid that wants to play fetch games with his dog, he does enjoy being with the dog and the dog seeks him out.> > My daughter has an 8th grade friend (who I suspect is Asperger's) and it's always interesting to see how she interacts with the dog. She went from running away from the dog if it came near her, to tolerating it, later buying it a toy and now she's overcome her pet fear to have two gerbils in her home. > > Since our kids like predictability, I would suggest that you show her the cat's routine. She can help with meal time by putting the food down for the cat. It's a predictable pattern and your cat will associate your daughter with receiving food, a positive! Your daughter requested a cat so the interest is definitely there. And even if she doesn't respond to the cat like others do, she will come to enjoy the cat in her own way. Give it some time.>

--Dawn>

[Guest guest]

That is an awesome story. I almost feel like crying. wow! What animals can do for us. Such great therapy and the puppy loves your son unconditionally and he is able to demonstrate love, affection and kindness. Nothing better than that! Thanks for sharing!

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Sent: Mon, September 13, 2010 12:41:16 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Help With Animal Fears / New pet

We recently got a puppy for my NT 9 yr old daughter as a surprise for her birthday. I told my 14 yr old son with Aspergers about the puppy about a month before she arrived because I knew he was not going to like it. We used to have a cat and he liked the cat and has always said he prefers cats and does not like dogs. He has heard about the comparison between people with Aspergers and some cat mannerisms and he totally agreed.

The puppy arrived about 10 days ago and guess who is one of her biggest fans...MY SON! She's a 10 week old chihuahua puppy and is very affectionate and loves people. The puppy really likes Dylan, too. When he sits on the floor to be with the puppy, she will jump into his lap and nestle down to rest. It is very sweet. He will also lay down on the couch with her so she can sleep all cuddled up underneath his chin. He is loving the outwardly demonstratively affectionate puppy! My daughter has an earlier bedtime so Dylan knows the puppy is 100 percent his after 8:30pm. He will stop and/or delay video games just to spend time with the puppy, which is a big deal!

He said the other day "She really likes me and wants to be with me. That does not normally happen." He was talking about people/creatures in general, not just dogs. He can visually see how much the puppy likes him and he absolutely loves it. I thought he might like the puppy more than he thought he would when I originally told him, but I never thought it would be this good, this soon. I am so happy that he can feel and see how much the puppy loves him. There are no shades of gray there, which is what he struggles with socially.

From: Amie <amiedawn1@...> Sent: Mon, September 13, 2010 11:06:59 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Help With Animal Fears / New pet

Thank you everyone for your posts, they have been helpful. Dawn, I want to thank you in particular for the reminder that she is enjoying the cat in her own way. Sometimes it is easy to forget that our kids enjoy things differently, and my daughter does receive great enjoyment from just watching the cat. The idea of reinforcing positive interactions between them with food is fabulous!Thank you again!Amie>> Hi Amie, every kid is different in regards to their level of pet fears. For some it's the sound of a barking dog. For many kids on the spectrum the issue is that a pet is simply unpredictable. It does its own thing so your daughter is probably more afraid of what it

might do (e.g.jump at her, hiss). You are probably looking at a time issue for your daughter and cat to get used to each other.> > My son (now age 11) was afraid of animals, especially dogs for the longest time. My daughter has always wanted a dog. We were at a pet shop that has one of those small enclosed rooms where you can sit with a dog. They were with a little shih-tzu puppy that my daughter loved and unbelievably, he said he would like it too.> > He enjoyed the puppy but really didn't interact with it. I would say within the first 3 months he would allow the dog to sit on his lap and maybe he would pat its head. We taught him how to gently pet the dog but never forced the interactions. Within 6-9 months he was genuinely pleased if the dog came to him and said he loves the dog. And after a year had gone by, my son actually left his normal perch at the computer to lay down next to the dog and pet him. Success! We're on

year two and while he is not the kind of kid that wants to play fetch games with his dog, he does enjoy being with the dog and the dog seeks him out.> > My daughter has an 8th grade friend (who I suspect is Asperger's) and it's always interesting to see how she interacts with the dog. She went from running away from the dog if it came near her, to tolerating it, later buying it a toy and now she's overcome her pet fear to have two gerbils in her home. > > Since our kids like predictability, I would suggest that you show her the cat's routine. She can help with meal time by putting the food down for the cat. It's a predictable pattern and your cat will associate your daughter with receiving food, a positive! Your daughter requested a cat so the interest is definitely there. And even if she doesn't respond to the cat like others do, she will come to enjoy the cat in her own way. Give it some time.>

--Dawn>

[Guest guest]

How cute! Glad it worked out. My ds's with HFA have never had a problem with pets. They love them. We had cats in the past and we have dogs now (3 of them!!)

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Re: Help With Animal Fears / New pet

Thank you everyone for your posts, they have been helpful.

Dawn, I want to thank you in particular for the reminder that she is enjoying the cat in her own way. Sometimes it is easy to forget that our kids enjoy things differently, and my daughter does receive great enjoyment from just watching the cat. The idea of reinforcing positive interactions between them with food is fabulous!

Thank you again!

Amie

>

> Hi Amie, every kid is different in regards to their level of pet fears. For some it's the sound of a barking dog. For many kids on the spectrum the issue is that a pet is simply unpredictable. It does its own thing so your daughter is probably more afraid of what it

might do (e.g.jump at her, hiss). You are probably looking at a time issue for your daughter and cat to get used to each other.

>

> My son (now age 11) was afraid of animals, especially dogs for the longest time. My daughter has always wanted a dog. We were at a pet shop that has one of those small enclosed rooms where you can sit with a dog. They were with a little shih-tzu puppy that my daughter loved and unbelievably, he said he would like it too.

>

> He enjoyed the puppy but really didn't interact with it. I would say within the first 3 months he would allow the dog to sit on his lap and maybe he would pat its head. We taught him how to gently pet the dog but never forced the interactions. Within 6-9 months he was genuinely pleased if the dog came to him and said he loves the dog. And after a year had gone by, my son actually left his normal perch at the computer to lay down next to the dog and pet him. Success! We're on

year two and while he is not the kind of kid that wants to play fetch games with his dog, he does enjoy being with the dog and the dog seeks him out.

>

> My daughter has an 8th grade friend (who I suspect is Asperger's) and it's always interesting to see how she interacts with the dog. She went from running away from the dog if it came near her, to tolerating it, later buying it a toy and now she's overcome her pet fear to have two gerbils in her home.

>

> Since our kids like predictability, I would suggest that you show her the cat's routine. She can help with meal time by putting the food down for the cat. It's a predictable pattern and your cat will associate your daughter with receiving food, a positive! Your daughter requested a cat so the interest is definitely there. And even if she doesn't respond to the cat like others do, she will come to enjoy the cat in her own way. Give it some time.

>

--Dawn

>

[Guest guest]

I

think if a kid is afraid of a pet, running away and having anxiety about being with the pet, you could put together a program of introducing and acclimating them to the pet over time - you know, baby steps. first just be in the same room, next watch the dog/cat run around the room, throw toys to the pet or drag a string for the cat - all things they can do interacting but not touching or getting too close. Then work your way to petting. Depending on the child, you could also work on teaching them how that specific pet moves and why. Read books, watch video's, etc. I know my youngest ds loves watching animal planet and they do tons of shows on various breeds of dogs.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Re: Help With Animal Fears / New pet

I feel for ya. We have a very small non-threatening dog I got about a year and a half ago, and my daughter is still afraid of it to the point of running into the street to get away from this three pound little chihuahua. Unfortunately the poor puppy has to stay in her exercise pen a lot because of it. I thought for sure she would be used to her by now, but she is completely terrified. I know kids come first, but I really love this dog too, so I would definitely be interested in seeing if anyone else has solved this problem as getting rid of my dog is really not an option for me.

>

> My 6yr old daughter is very afraid of all animals big or small, to the point where she has lost friends and we avoid parks and certain stores because of it. However, after over a year of her begging for a cat (I do not understand why she has been begging, as she hs been afaid to be in the same room as one) we decided to adopt a cat in hopes it may help her overcome her fears.

> The cat we adopted is the mellowest most mild tempered cat I have ever seen. My daughter wants to play and pet with the cat, but is still scared to approach it, and if the cat approaches her she jumps on the couch or runs to another room. She will now pet the cat hesitantly if I am holding her, but that is it.

> Any tips out there on helping our HFA/aspie kids adjust to pets/overcome thier fears with animals?

> The cat is at the point where she runs from my daughter when she enters the room as she acts so erratically. It is unfair to ask either of them to live that way, but yet I do not want to yet give up hope that she can adjust. My daughter loves the idea of having a cat and wants to keep her, but my husband is ready to throw in the towel and call it a lost cause.

> It has only been two weeks, but how long should we wait? Any hints, tips and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

>

> Amie

>