Re: any with college age kids

[Guest guest]

Has your son let the college know that he has a learning disability? Most

colleges have resources that he can tap into for help. But he has to advocate

for himself.

Colleges with Programs for Learning Disabled Students

http://www.college-scholarships.com/learning_disabilities.htm

Students with Disabilities Preparing for Postsecondary Education: Know Your

Rights and Responsibilities

http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/transition.html

My son is only a sophomore in high school. He's already talking about taking an

extra year to graduate college because he doesn't want the pressure of doing it

in 4 years.

Good luck.

Caroline

[Guest guest]

No, he's hasn't declared any disability. In high school it got so he didn't

need his accommodations any longer. We had them when he started college here

for those 2 years at our local comm college, he didn't use them. So he didn't

want to declare them at the univ he transferred to.

Advocate for himself? Sigh, that's what I'm pushing him to do this week is to

seek out the resources available for him there. I even told him which they were

and gave him the webpages for it too. Why do I have the feeling he won't?!

Thanks Caroline,

>

> Has your son let the college know that he has a learning disability? Most

colleges have resources that he can tap into for help. But he has to advocate

for himself.

>

> Colleges with Programs for Learning Disabled Students

> http://www.college-scholarships.com/learning_disabilities.htm

>

> Students with Disabilities Preparing for Postsecondary Education: Know Your

Rights and Responsibilities

> http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/transition.html

>

> My son is only a sophomore in high school. He's already talking about taking

an extra year to graduate college because he doesn't want the pressure of doing

it in 4 years.

>

> Good luck.

>

> Caroline

>

[Guest guest]

Hi - My son was not diagnosed until he went to college..he is a good faker and

apparently smart enough to get by without any assistance to the point. Briefly

he went to college away from home and did okay one semester we had a loss

(Grandfather) in our family and it triggered the worst...he flunked the

semester, then got help and assistance (which he did not use...) and flunked a

second semester...He came home to a Community college (which in my experience do

a lot less to protect students grades when accommodation is needed!) He did

okay for one semester then had issues in two classes the next semester and then

flunked out - was not going to class, would drive to campus and sit in his

car...We are not sure how to help..if anyone has similsr experience or ideas -

THANKS!

>

> who have been or are in college?

>

> My son, 21, is in his last year. Not going well. His first 2 years he did at

our local community college, did great. Then went to university (UNC Chapel

Hill) last year. Did less great but passed. Not bad overall, but no more

straight A's, close call on passing one class. But I was proud he was living on

campus and actually now has a social life with friends. Never had a social life

at home while growing up, no friends.

>

> His OCD is severe, came back in high school and he refuses meds. It does

interfere (bad thoughts mostly) with things but even with that, he managed high

school and the community college okay.

>

> I've recently been encouraging him to seek out the college's services to try

to get back on meds for his OCD, felt like he might be weakening towards that.

But he's sooo busy each day until 4 or 5pm and the health services close at 5,

want walk-ins (first time there) by 3:30.... Excuses maybe.

>

> So he came home this summer and pretty much stayed up nights and slept days

(what's new, all my sons do that) but returned to playing video games; hadn't

done that in years. Spent his waking hours playing games. So I thought, well

he needs to de-stress.

>

> He admitted last year that he could have studied more but apparently lacked

the motivation. He'd rather be online or doing something social he said. He,

to me, seemed to have lost his joy in learning. Maybe because it was harder,

the work and all, I dunno, plus the lower grades on things like his lab result

reports he had to write may have lowered his self-esteem a bit? just guessing

on my part.

>

> Well, this semester he is flunking. He is lost in his classes, doesn't

understand (or grasp) what they are learning so is " lost " on tests and other

(he's majoring in science with his direction going towards medical research).

He's failing homework and tests.

>

> He called today, is really stressed. Has 2 lab reports due this week and a

test Tuesday. I think one lab is due Monday, if not both. And he says he just

can't do it all. And that the class with the test is the one he is lost in,

can't get. SIGH!

>

> So was wondering -- has anyone else had a son quit college? I'm wondering

about options, his coming home and going to a closer college and taking just a

class or two, or going online...something where he could go at a slower pace and

still get his BS degree.

>

> I encouraged him today to seek out the campus services for students. But

don't know if he will *make* himself do that, even though I emailed him links

about them from his college's website. I asked him about friends helping him,

he doesn't want to bother them, doesn't think it would be " fair " to them? I

dunno.

>

> I also wonder if he's just " burned out " in general from 3 yrs of college....

>

> So - any experiences or thoughts welcome. I gave him so many options, seek

help, come home...I'm not sure he can choose. I also asked if he wanted to

declare his disabilities, OCD and Aspergers. Decision making was always hard

for him.

>

> Thanks,

> Chris

> (a worried mom!)

>

[Guest guest]

I'm in a support group for parents with AS and similar kids who have finished

high school. From what I've seen, it's rare for one of our kids to make it

straight through college without a lot of help. Your son's experience is typical

of what I've seen in the support group. You may want to try another school - one

that has an AS support group or one of the rare ones that offer services for AS

students. I'm keeping an eye on a program at University of CA at Hayward. It

offers a coach for academic skills and another for life skills. This is the

first year of the program and I really want it to succeed and spread throughout

the world! If you can't find something like that - you could look for a coach to

work with your son and help keep him organized at school. And you can also look

for a lifeskills coach - someone to pop by and help him get a routine going for

shopping, cooking, cleaning, and so on. A mom in our group is doing that for her

son and the combination seems to be working for her son.

[Guest guest]

Thanks . Good things to look at.

Do you find in your reading from others that the parents seem to be the ones who

set things up? I gave him the information of resources on campus and what

building, etc., but have a feeling he is determined to try it, still, on his own

instead of walking through the doors and asking for help. Or going to his

counselor or the teacher. He's 21 now. I will call the college, not shy about

that, but wonder how they'll look at " mom " calling.

I called him this morning around 9:30 to make sure he was up (since he slept

thru his alarm 3x last week) and he was up and working on one of those lab

reports. Had finished one yesterday, was working on the 2nd. Said he was

skipping his a.m. classes to do it. This is his 2nd year there, he did pretty

well last year (no more straight A's though, more C's and and it's just

starting out really bad this year, as you read, though I know he's got hard

classes this semester (physics, microbiology, chemistry/analytical methods,

anthropology) and his work-study job.

I just don't worry about my other 2 like I do him, sigh. Actually I worried

about my other 2 academically but can depend on them to follow through on their

own. With I never worried about his school/education because it was

(key word WAS) so easy for him, he's smart. (not that my other 2 aren't, LOL)

>

> I'm in a support group for parents with AS and similar kids who have finished

high school. From what I've seen, it's rare for one of our kids to make it

straight through college without a lot of help. Your son's experience is typical

of what I've seen in the support group. You may want to try another school - one

that has an AS support group or one of the rare ones that offer services for AS

students. I'm keeping an eye on a program at University of CA at Hayward. It

offers a coach for academic skills and another for life skills

[Guest guest]

Hi, I feel for you! Sounds like he feels overwhelmed like mine. Do you think

your's would take online classes, just 1 or 2 at a time? Does the local

community college there offer any?

>

> Hi - My son was not diagnosed until he went to college..he is a good faker and

apparently smart enough to get by without any assistance to the point. Briefly

he went to college away from home and did okay one semester we had a loss

(Grandfather) in our family and it triggered the worst...he flunked the

semester, then got help and assistance (which he did not use...) and flunked a

second

[Guest guest]

Just wanted to chime in that yes, it is often the parents who have to step in

and figure out how to help our AS kids even when they are adults. I wish it

wasn't like this for so many parents. The burden is on us to find the right

diagnosis, get the right therapies, get the schools to comply with the law, and

so on. And we usually end up picking up most of the costs, too. And when things

don't work out, then we have the guilt, too.

I'm hoping that in the future that a family with an AS child won't be so

isolated and alone. Wouldn't it be great to get the diagnosis and then THE BOOK

that explains what the next steps are for your child's best life, plus a menu of

therapies you can pick and choose from (all or mostly covered by your insurance

or the government) - like other kinds of disabilities.

So in the meantime, I really appreciate the help and support I get from this

group and the other groups I belong to. I've learned a lot from reading the

other posts and it really is great to have somewhere I can go to and ask for

help.