Guest guest Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 , Have you asked him why he doesn't like to brush his teeth? What about an battery charged toothbrush? My son loves his. And, the shower....can he take a bath? And did you ask him why he doesn't like it? My son loves the shower. It is how he calms himself. Maybe buy him a special soap or scrub brush? Just some thoughts jan Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: Chambers <missjen0124@...>Subject: ( ) pulling my hair out"Aspergers Treatment" < >Date: Thursday, October 8, 2009, 6:06 PM I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of "I don't like this". And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of "i hate you's" and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells "why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... "etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 sounds like you are using many good techniques. it can be exasperating when they really dont care. i have battled with my daughter too. i started using a list which just made the fights about morning routine disappear, but she was 11 or 12 by the time i got around to using this method. anyway i worked out a list with her and tape it to the inside of her medicine cabinet and we adjust the list as needed and are very specific as we need to be like brush teeth for 2 minutes. if there were arguments, the list got the blame rather than me. she hated grooming when she was your sons age. she just didn't care. once puberty began and all that brings with it, she began to care more, but still not convinced it is important to have clean hair. she also began taking prozac this year and that has made her more open to suggestions and less combative. once in a while, if she is feeling really lazy or just not well, i will treat her and shampoo her hair for her, she likes that. you mentioned your son likes the attention when you read to him. perhapsy you could use this as a bargaining tool with him. extra reading time for cooperation and fullfilling grooming requirements. good luck, i know this can be very hard. regards, melody > > I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... > > My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of " I don't like this " . And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of " i hate you's " and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... > That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. > Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells " why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... " etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I > know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. > Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 Not trying to sound too simpleton, but have you created any types of schedules for your son? Make him a laminated copy to carry with him and keep one on the frig. If he fusses, just shrug your shoulders and tell him it's the rule and point to the schedule. I also came up with a sample menu for breakfast and lunch. They're written down with the days of the week. Sometimes my son has asked to exchange different days, which shows his flexibility (very hard for him). The food chart has been very helpful. On Thu, Oct 8, 2009 at 6:06 PM, Chambers <missjen0124@...> wrote: I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of " I don't like this " . And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of " i hate you's " and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells " why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... " etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 I used to have a checklist for my son in the morning so he could check off each item that we did and I wouldn't be nagging him so much. This technique really worked for him. Took a little prodding at first but once it caught on, he was hooked. I would give him a lot of praise when he'd get things done; he responds really well to verbal praise. He was old enough to read the words but for my daughter (NT), I used clip art to put pictures for each thing next to the words in case she couldn't read them. My son (13, Aspergers) did a lot better with the list than my daughter even does! My son probably used the list for about 3 years and then told me he was too old for a list and didn't need it anymore. I think we started around the age of 7? Now he can get himself ready in the morning, but I still have to occasionally remind him to do certain things. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: Chambers <missjen0124@...>Aspergers Treatment < >Sent: Thursday, October 8, 2009 5:06:26 PMSubject: ( ) pulling my hair out I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of "I don't like this". And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of "i hate you's" and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells "why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... "etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 He may think the water is too hard or soft. Ask him and let him control the washing as much as possible. --- Den fre 2009-10-09 skrev rushen janice <jrushen@...>: Från: rushen janice <jrushen@...>Ämne: Re: ( ) pulling my hair outTill: Datum: fredag 9 oktober 2009 02.29 , Have you asked him why he doesn't like to brush his teeth? What about an battery charged toothbrush? My son loves his. And, the shower....can he take a bath? And did you ask him why he doesn't like it? My son loves the shower. It is how he calms himself. Maybe buy him a special soap or scrub brush? Just some thoughts jan Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: Chambers <missjen0124>Subject: ( ) pulling my hair out"Aspergers Treatment" < >Date: Thursday, October 8, 2009, 6:06 PM I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of "I don't like this". And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of "i hate you's" and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells "why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... "etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic..net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 My son has quite a rigid morning route, up, vitamin, rice crispies, apple (peeled and chopped), bread, eczema cream on (which he hates), etc. All pretty typical AS stuff. Any deviation usually causes the "I hate you"s. So we don't deviate. lol Son also won't shower in the house, but he will at the gym/swimming. Does your son shower anywhere else? I know this is going to sound stupid but have you asked him what it is about the shower that he doesn't like, or have you tried baths instead. Could it be the time of day? Have you tried getting him to shower/ bath in the morning? My son will stay in the bath for quite if we give him bath toys, loves filling things up, then emptying them out very slowly. Just a suggestion. Lor B From: Chambers <missjen0124@...>Subject: ( ) pulling my hair out"Aspergers Treatment" < >Date: Thursday, 8 October, 2009, 11:06 PM I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of "I don't like this". And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of "i hate you's" and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells "why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... "etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 Hi, I have a 5 year old who hates taking a bath, my secret, I give him a .75 cent travel size shaving cream, he loves to play with it drawing on the tiles and making shapes in the water, it rinses away and he smells really good when he comes out!!! The things we have to do to get a little peace. Good Luck Lynda > > > From: Chambers <missjen0124@...> > Subject: ( ) pulling my hair out > " Aspergers Treatment " < > > Date: Thursday, 8 October, 2009, 11:06 PM > > > > > > > > > I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... > > My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of " I don't like this " . And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of " i hate you's " and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... > That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. > Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells " why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... " etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I > know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. > Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 Those are great ideas. We have been trying to figure out a specific schedule since August, but it requires some tweeking right now. As far as the menu, that's brilliant! I'm definitely going to try that one out. I got him a watch so he can help me with his schedule, and therefore feel like he has control. I also came up with some simple rewards that he can get if he gets through a morning without yelling at me, it worked this morning, so I hope it continues!Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: <doyourecycle@...>Date: Thu, 8 Oct 2009 20:52:39 -0400< >Subject: Re: ( ) pulling my hair out Not trying to sound too simpleton, but have you created any types of schedules for your son? Make him a laminated copy to carry with him and keep one on the frig. If he fusses, just shrug your shoulders and tell him it's the rule and point to the schedule. I also came up with a sample menu for breakfast and lunch. They're written down with the days of the week. Sometimes my son has asked to exchange different days, which shows his flexibility (very hard for him). The food chart has been very helpful. On Thu, Oct 8, 2009 at 6:06 PM, Chambers <missjen0124 > wrote: I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of " I don't like this " . And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of " i hate you's " and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has afear of being upstairs alone)... That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells " why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... " etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how(remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 He says he doesn't like to be alone. He is scared of EVERYTHING! So I've tried the bath for him, and Let him pick out his soap and shampoo, he's better than he used to be, but he still fights to the death every time I tell him its shower time he acts like its some crazy new thing I've asked him to do. Same time every night. 'Nicolas, shower at 735' I ask him what time it is so can see how much time I'm giving him, but he still screams 'why!?' Every night. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...>Date: Fri, 9 Oct 2009 12:29:11 +0000 (GMT)< >Subject: Re: ( ) pulling my hair out My son has quite a rigid morning route, up, vitamin, rice crispies, apple (peeled and chopped), bread, eczema cream on (which he hates), etc. All pretty typical AS stuff. Any deviation usually causes the "I hate you"s. So we don't deviate. lol Son also won't shower in the house, but he will at the gym/swimming. Does your son shower anywhere else? I know this is going to sound stupid but have you asked him what it is about the shower that he doesn't like, or have you tried baths instead. Could it be the time of day? Have you tried getting him to shower/ bath in the morning? My son will stay in the bath for quite if we give him bath toys, loves filling things up, then emptying them out very slowly. Just a suggestion. Lor BFrom: Chambers <missjen0124 >Subject: ( ) pulling my hair out"Aspergers Treatment" < >Date: Thursday, 8 October, 2009, 11:06 PM I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of "I don't like this". And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of "i hate you's" and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has afear of being upstairs alone)... That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells "why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... "etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't nowhow (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 The problem with me letting him take a bath is that he won't wash right, and he comes out just as stinky haha.. I swear this kid really smells after a long day. A shower is the only way that he gets that fresh kid smell. From: lyndaayers <lyndaayers@...> Sent: Fri, October 9, 2009 1:25:50 PMSubject: ( ) Re: pulling my hair out Hi, I have a 5 year old who hates taking a bath, my secret, I give him a .75 cent travel size shaving cream, he loves to play with it drawing on the tiles and making shapes in the water, it rinses away and he smells really good when he comes out!!! The things we have to do to get a little peace. Good Luck Lynda> > > From: Chambers <missjen0124@ ...>> Subject: ( ) pulling my hair out> "Aspergers Treatment" < >> Date: Thursday, 8 October, 2009, 11:06 PM> > > > > > > > > I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have...> > My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of "I don't like this". And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of "i hate you's" and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)...> That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. > Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells "why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... "etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I> know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. > Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks!> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 just another thought about being scared. i found this in a parenting book, long ago, which i used for my older daughter when she was little and afraid to be alone--and it was bedtime. i kept her company each night and worked my way further and further away till i was sitting in the hall. if your son is afraid to be alone in the shower/bath, you could sit in the room next to the tub while he showers, the next night move a foot further away and so on and so forth. i really don't know if this would work with an aspie, as there is more going on, but just thought i would share. regards, melody > > > From: Chambers <missjen0124@...> > Subject: ( ) pulling my hair out > " Aspergers Treatment " < > > Date: Thursday, 8 October, 2009, 11:06 PM > > > > > > > > > I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... > > My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of " I don't like this " . And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of " i hate you's " and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... > That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. > Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells " why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... " etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I > know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. > Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 My older aspie is 15 and HATED baths and just recently within the past year is getting used to showers. He can still barely stand the water running on his head though. It is still somewhat of a battle to get him to shower regularly so he doesn't get all stinky, ugh. He just so hates to have that water run over his head, that was really hard not to get angry about all the years I was unaware of the condition. He went undiagnosed until 6th grade, and honestly before then I got real angry with him a lot. I just thought he was trying to get out of...everything. This son is the " sensory " son. I suspect your son has a HIGH degree of sensory integration dysfunction and would need occupational therapy for this. He may even feel pain from brushing his teeth and the beating of the shower. Pain can be exagerrated for them,. Things that feel good to us feel horrible to them at times. I know how frustrating this can be, but he cannot help himself. You will discover that this will weaken over time, but my son has always had exaggerated feelings of pain from things. Find a VERY soft headed baby tooth brush that he may like better. I slowly worked to showers from baths with a detatchable shower head that I taught him to change to a setting he preferred, I think a rain setting. The water comes out softer and more quietly. There are noise issues as well...a lot of noises are amplified to them and REALLY bother them! We have just had to calmly and lovingly, at times it was lovingly...some days not so much :-], reassure him and teach him to work through his sensory issues and fears. My 5 yo aspie is the schedule one. I have the best of both worlds. An introverted hypersenstive one, who is a teen as well, and a schedular who is the time police, LOL. He organizes EVERYTHING by numbers. He gets up and has to check the time, the weather, and he reads it all off to me like a newscaster, giving me a full run down of the weather conditions for the entire day and night, it IS kind of amusing, but I wouldn't mind a " good morning mommy " . If you need any more info on the sesory integration issues please look up sensory integration disorder...you will find a wealth of information that may help you understand better what he is going through. My son's original diagnosis was just the sensory integration dysfunction...but we now know he has asperger's as well. Pleas let me know if there is anything you need from me if even a place tovent I sooooo understand your frustrations!!! Blessings Kelley > > I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... > > My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of " I don't like this " . And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of " i hate you's " and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... > That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. > Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells " why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... " etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I > know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. > Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 You mentioned that he is afraid of being upstairs by himself. Perhaps he is scared in the shower. Think about it - the curtain is closed and it's a small space. When the water is on, it may either be too much input for him (the noise and the feel of it hitting his skin) or it may bother him that he can't hear what is going on outside of the shower, and that scares him. My husband has the idea that our 6 year old daughter should be showering by herself, so he has been staying in the bathroom while she's in the shower and talking her through it. His thought is that if he guides her through the process step by step for a few weeks, maybe it will become second nature to her and that will keep her from getting in and singing for an hour and a half and coming out still dirty. Makes sense to me - I must say though, I'm glad HE is the one doing it!! Speaking of singing in the shower (and the fact that I hear Pink blaring from my daughter's room for the hundredth time this morning) I just got a rather good idea, if I do say so myself. This will likely work with liese for sure, and may work for your son if he's into music: I'm going to let A. pick 3 or 4 songs to take a shower to. I'll tell her that when the first one starts, she needs to wash her hair and rinse - when it gets to a certain verse, she should put in the conditioner. When the next song starts, she should spend the whole song washing her body, then rinsing (to make sure she spends enough time to be thorough), then when the next song starts, she should rinse the conditioner from her hair, and by the time it's over, have the water turned off. She can spend the 4th song drying off and getting dressed and hanging up her towel. Perhaps these auditory cues would work to move them through the process without us having to stand in there, and maybe your son could focus on the music and what he has to do at certain times, instead of focusing on the water hitting him, or the sound, or being afraid of what's on the other side of the curtain. Hope this idea works for both of us! Andie > > > > > > From: Chambers <missjen0124@ ...> > > Subject: ( ) pulling my hair out > > " Aspergers Treatment " < > > > Date: Thursday, 8 October, 2009, 11:06 PM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I was wondering if anyone else was having these problems with their kids, or ever have... > > > > My son, 7, has a battle royale with me every morning...EVERY morning..about the same things. Wake up time, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. He goes to bed around 8:45, wakes up at 6:30, so I don't think it's lack of sleep. I give him 3 options every morning of what he wants for breakfast (cereal, oatmeal, eggs), so we avoid the fight of " I don't like this " . And he never wants to brush his teeth. This becomes a morning scream fest (from him not me) of " i hate you's " and stuff like that. If I can finally calm him down, that's a normal morning. Everything occurs at the same time, so he's never surprised, and I always give him one instruction at a time, and am flexible on how he gets everything done, just as long as it gets done. I don't make him eat all his breakfast if he says he's full, then he's full. If he wants to brush his teeth downstairs in the kitchen, I even let him do that (he has a fear of being upstairs alone)... > > That's only one part of the battle that occurs daily. > > Every night, he is a little hyper, but usually ok. He's a great eater for dinner, and does his homework usually without a problem. The night time battle starts at shower time. I've talked to his psychologist about this, and he doesn't have a real answer for me. I tell my DS about 30 minutes before his shower time every night..and count down about every 8-10 minutes so it's not sneaking up on him. And he always says ok until it is actually time to take a shower. He screams and throws a fit and yells " why do you hate me, why do I have to take a shower all the time, why do you insist on making me miserable... " etc. I tell him that he gets really sweaty throughout the day (which he does) and he stinks (which he does). He says that he doesn't care if he stinks, he doesn't want to take a shower. Then he claims that he doesn't now how (remember this is nightly). And he always wants help. He was in a residential program for 5 months, so I > > know for a fact that he knows how to shower, he likes other people to do everything for him. So I refuse to give in to his requests, which makes him angry, but eventually after talking to him for about 25-35 minutes he has showered. After shower time, bed time is usually easy as long as I read to him (he just likes that extra attention, because he knows how to read fine) but I also enjoy reading to him, so it's ok. > > Anywho, thats a typical day in my house. If anyone has any advice, I'd gladly take it, because my DS is seriously driving me crazy, and I get so frustrated that I don't want to talk to him sometimes. Thanks! > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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