RE: Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

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Wow, did I TYPE ALL OF THAT???? SOUNDS ALL TOO FAMILIAR, just different family with a child in the spectrum!!!! First off, I would NOT DOUBT

about ANYTHING the child said myself because what else is the poor lad to say? And, he sounded quite pleasant and respectful compared to what

our now 16 year old would have said during puberty. That son (we have 2 with Aspies), fortunately for him, is a TYpe I diabetic, and if he was not,

he literally would NOT HAVE SURVIVED SCHOOL 13-16. We still have NO IEP, 504 or ANYTHING for him! He is supposed to be a sophomore but in

9th grade, and they are literally having him due 7-8th grade math, all things a tutor did with and for him 3-4 years ago....overly sick and sad is about

all that one can say. I WOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT THE SCHOOL TEACHER'S OPINION a whole lot because the school always told us this and that,

and what we started doing was asking his friends; amazing what THEY REPORTED: same thing we see at home. Seemed to us it was just about

not wanting to provide services at all costs including perhaps their own sanity! So, I would keep THAT in mind for one.

For two, YOU CAN GO TO THE CLASSROOM WHENEVER YOU WANT TO, and that is just the way it is. As a registered childcare provider, my

door is unlocked and open at all times, and if I DO NOT LIKE PARENTS COMING AND GOING, I can and would be shut down by the STATE; that

is just the law, and YOUR RIGHT AS A PARENT; same law appliles TO THE SCHOOL DISTRICT, SYSTEM, and settings. That being said, we all know that if your involvement negatively affects the child, you may have

to take the child home; if that is a problem, I would plan your visit so you are able to do that if needed.

Additionally, I would like to add that another thing I DO with my now 8 year old Aspies (whom is just perfect, wonderful, blah, blah, blah at

school---never would KNOW he even has Aspergers if you ask the school----URG!!!!) is PEAK IN THE CLASSROOM door when I AM IN THE

building; teacher and nearly every other student BUT MY OWN SON NOTICES ME-----truth is, that IS my son at school and in big groups;

he gets so in to what he is doing, no one else exists (we see it as, our son IS DIFFERENT AND HE DOES STAND OUT); for ME, his not responding

IS what I was 'observing,' and the day he does, I WILL get concerned. Not sure how to put it but it does validate to me/ us that our son is

not the normal, just like all the other kids STUDENT the school raves that he is. All the other students would not miss me (or anyone else

at the door!). My son denies and doesn't even believe me that I saw him at school today, later, when I am home (his brother tells him

yes, I WAS!)......

So, maybe observe from afar??? Can you see the PLAYGROUND at recess from a park? From a side street?? (we kind of can, and I have done that before---wanted to use binoculars but didn't want to be called in to the cops for something so innocent!!!---I am just wanting to see if he

is REALLY PLAYING WITH OTHER KIDS as we are told or along side----it's still along side----often now, his younger brother at school tells me,

even if I don't want to know!!!!).

So, that's another idea, but you have a right to go to school any time you want, and if the teacher doesn't

like it, that is just tough, too bad, and an employment of that teacher issue that sounds as if you need to take it up with the principal. You are TRYING to be respectful, compassionate, and work with the teacher by setting up a time; if that doesn't work for the teacher,

then SHOW UP (you can, and if it's that big a deal, I WOULD BE DOING IT, and A LOT---even if it's standing outside that door, sitting there outside the door to find out what you hear, etc. that is so concerning that YOU CANNOT COME BY THE SCHOOL to observe!!!!!). THAT's MY opinion, and concern as a parent!!!! Just a suggestion!!!! I would be concerned about why she doesn't want me coming too see my child, period!!!!

Ruthie Dolezal

mom of four sons, 2 in the spectrum

From: marcial7777@...Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2010 15:49:52 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

I've offered to come in and help....ESPECIALLY since the school levy didn't pass and aids were cut down to one per class so it's just her and one aid for 10 kids. She insisted no, now I got a looong note home about s behavior and he was punished twice for not participating in class.....(he wasn't doing his math) and put his head down and said he was tired. Now I know some of this is his fault because when he comes to something he doesn't really want to do he trys to get out of it..like for example every Sunday morning he doesn't want to be in church sitting still for and hour and puts his head on my shoulder and tells me he has a headache so that maybe I will take him out. I've talked to and he said the work is getting harder and I feel he is probably needing a little more attention in class than she can give. She pushed him so hard he said "I don't have to if I don't want to" and ended up in a time out and also held back from going to an outing to a restaraunt today. So she punished him for yesterdays behavior and the day befores twice. She told him that if he did his work while they we're gone she would come back and get him for the rest of the trip to bowling. So I'm real curious to see what happens today, I don't want to call her a liar but I think my son needs a little more one on one because he is having difficulty with the work getting harder. She said that had a calculator and it shouldn't have been a problem. He is on Easter break next week but I will take your advice and ask again if I can come in and observe. Who I'm really waiting on talking to is the behaviorist that went to the classroom and observed , he is to meet us at the autism clinic on Tuesday. You know my son is going through puberty and it just doesn't sound like something he would say..."I don't have to if I don't want to"...but I don't know. Maybe it would be best if I went in and checked it out. All I know is that we we're having some serious violent behaviors up until a month ago...and he's getting bigger than I can handle and Iwas getting hurt and have been hurt in the past by him pulling my hair and scratching me and pushing me around. Since his meds were bumped up he seems to calm down quicker and hasn't attacked me in a month. And he is meeting his behavior plan and getting his rewards at home for great compliance of the rules...sets the table does the garbage puts his clothes away... I'll take your advice and see what she says about coming into observe, I'm going to have his caseworker come in too. All I know is that I'm not taking him down on meds because I can't live with bieng attacked on a daily basis. Thanks for your advice...Marcia

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

What strikes me as odd is that the teacher doesn't want you in the classroom to observe. I have been a teacher for a long time, and it makes me very uneasy when a teacher doesn't want you in the classroom for any reason. I would approach the teacher again, and I would tell her you very much want to come in to observe and reassure her that you understand her concern about distraction, but that won't sit with or visit with your son or other students. Maybe ask her where a good place is for you to sit so that you are out of his line of sight, and prep your son that you are coming in just to see what a great classroom he has and explain that he should just try to pretend that you are not there and do his job, which is to listen to his teacher and do his work.Also, I'd keep your visit short- maybe 15 minutes or so. She may have had a bad experience with a visiting parent in the past, but that shouldn't prevent you from seeing first hand what is happening in the classroom. If she shuts you down on this, I'd approach the school social worker or principal and explain your situation without putting the teacher down, and see if you can't get permission to observe from there. Oh- one other thing I that just came to mind is to ask the teacher if you can volunteer to help out in her class- to read with a student or help one with math activities or just sit in the back and cut out bulletin board pieces or staple work packets together or something. I've never seen a teacher turn down an offer to volunteer.Hope that helps.>> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?> > Marcia>