Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

[Guest guest]

Hi Marcia. Teachers are suppose to comment on behaviors not medications so you

can just ignore any medical advice from a

teacher.

There is a very formal process of a Functional Behavioral Assessment that the

beahviorist can set up for the teacher to document when unwanted behaviors occur

and what may have triggered the behavior.

It does sound like your son's behaviorist interviewed the teacher

(but perhaps not formally to document her concerns concretely in a

report format).

You can just say you need data to back up any concerns. Then the

school behaviorist would be checking on your son and observing him

at least once a week for awhile.

In third grade my daughters's teacher were very angry at how long my daughter

takes to transiton. The school behaviorist (Phd level with a

certificate in Behavioral Analysis) was assigned by the IEp team

to obeserve my daughter in differenting settings once a week

(she would watch her in the lunchroon, PE and in the classroom

during different type of work).

Since my daughter does have autism after all the behaviorist

was not punishing. They figured out some ways to streamline her

transitions.

Schools have no right to comment on medications. Just ignore it.

Don't give any reinforcement that this is something you want to discuss with

them.

Autistic kids are very sensitive to medications. You just can't

keep increasing doses to solve problems.

good luck, it is so frustrating sometimes,

Pam

>

> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about

s

> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

>

> Marcia

>

[Guest guest]

I'm pretty sure I saw some responses to your question. But I would say this teacher is someone you have to keep in communication with and try to team up with instead of fighting against. Let her know you have an appointment coming up at the Autism Clinic. Let her know if you have talked to the doctor about your son's medication. Sympathize with her a little bit, "I know it must be hard to have so many kids in your class without help. I want to address any of the behavior issues you are seeing. So let me know, drop me a quick email if has a particularly bad day, Then we can work with him at home." I think that will work with this kind of teacher.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suzanne

suzmarkwood@...

From: marciawho_01 <marcial7777@...>Subject: ( ) I'll try again didn't get any reply's Date: Wednesday, March 24, 2010, 9:56 AM

I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about smedications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought theteacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was anybehavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gonethere myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in theclassroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th todiscuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is theonly one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroomand don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?Marcia

[Guest guest]

Thanks for replying maybe I have it on the setting where I only receive so many emails....I'll have to check that. I have been sympathizing with her and working with her, even cutting back his med that causes him to drool in the morning. He has an adgenda book that I write and am in communication with her daily and have offered to come into the classroom to help. I don't know how much more I can do for her. Now because I have dropped some of the meds in the morning he is having some behavior problems there...he takes Abilify for mood stabilization...and is having a hard time because his father is not a part of his life. We have no family because of the divorce his family blames me for his alcoholism, they were very enabling when I was married to him...and they have nothing to do with him or our son now. My folks have been deceased since 04 and 06....so it is just and I. I will be interested in seeing what the autism doc has to say, all I know is that our home life has improved by the behavior plan and the new meds by 100%.. He is happy getting and making his daily and weekly rewards and not having the frustration level to have the violent outbursts that he was having. The behaviorist is going to the autism clinic with us and the teacher is aware of it. While I do sympathize with her, I have really gone out of my way to make things better for her. But ultimatly I want to make sure can learn...and get the most out of school with the proper meds and less meltdowns...the kids been through alot. Thanks for your input and I will check my settings on this site maybe I have it set to 25 emails a day.

Marcia

( ) I'll try again didn't get any reply's

Date: Wednesday, March 24, 2010, 9:56 AM

I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

Marcia

[Guest guest]

It sounds like you are doing everything you can then. And if the behavior plan is working great at home, some of that should carry over to school. If the teacher is still being difficult, well then just try to get through this school year. There are only a few months left. Talk to the principal about your son's placement for next year and start talking with the new teacher ahead of time to make sure that she is on board and willing to work with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suzanne

suzmarkwood@...

From: marciawho_01 <marcial7777@ aol.com>Subject: ( ) I'll try again didn't get any reply's Date: Wednesday, March 24, 2010, 9:56 AM

I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about smedications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought theteacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was anybehavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gonethere myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in theclassroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th todiscuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is theonly one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroomand don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?Marcia

[Guest guest]

This is excellent advice. This is the approach I use and

have had good success…the old catch more bees with honey. However, I have

had one teacher that was unreachable.

Good luck.

melody

[Guest guest]

Pam,

You know I don't recall a school behaviorist at the IEP. I kinda feel she is out of line too and have councilled her on meds taking awhile for him to get used to the new dosage, which was very minor and I really thought that the change in him would help her. He seems calmer and a little easier to calm down when he gets upset. Now he is moving into his teenage years come July I wanted to make sure the violent behaviors where handled because I was starting to get hurt, I once spent 8 months in PT for my wrist when I ran into a wall chasing him up the stairs...my own stupid fault for running into the wall but I was trying to stop him from tearing things up.. He once pulled me off my chair by my hair and I hit my head on the banister....scratched me till I bled for a week...ect.. I work very closely with his caseworker and behaviorist , we have monthly team meetings and I will suggest the behaviorist go out to the classroom again and make a formal inquest, I want to make sure that is getting the best education that he is capable of. His fine motor skills are so bad that he does need alot of one on one at times even with OT. It took him till he was 8 to potty train and he still cannot unbutton his pants, I understand her dilema the school levy not passing was devastating to the whole school system especially her class. She feels I would be a distraction if I came in to help and frowns upon having parents in the classroom....I just can't seem to make her happy. Since bumping down his meds in the morning he has had a few meltdowns which she has punished him for. I hope he has a better day today so he can go on the field trip tomorrow, there was some issue yesterday and she implied he may not be able to go. Poor kid came home thinking I was going to punish him again for what happened at school. I explained to him that if he was already punished at school he would not be punished at home. Thank you because I think she is out of line and will recommend that the behaviorist or school behaviorist go out and observe him more.. We go to the autism clinic next Tuesday, I have kept in close contact with them and had the teacher fax them her concerns repeatedly.. Thank you for your advice.. In the mean time I am taking him to the Pet Expo on Friday night because he has been such a good boy all this month and I feel like we are getting back to the close relationship that we had. It's time for him to have a little extra treat.

Marcia

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

Hi Marcia. Teachers are suppose to comment on behaviors not medications so you can just ignore any medical advice from a

teacher.

There is a very formal process of a Functional Behavioral Assessment that the beahviorist can set up for the teacher to document when unwanted behaviors occur and what may have triggered the behavior.

It does sound like your son's behaviorist interviewed the teacher

(but perhaps not formally to document her concerns concretely in a

report format).

You can just say you need data to back up any concerns. Then the

school behaviorist would be checking on your son and observing him

at least once a week for awhile.

In third grade my daughters's teacher were very angry at how long my daughter takes to transiton. The school behaviorist (Phd level with a

certificate in Behavioral Analysis) was assigned by the IEp team

to obeserve my daughter in differenting settings once a week

(she would watch her in the lunchroon, PE and in the classroom

during different type of work).

Since my daughter does have autism after all the behaviorist

was not punishing. They figured out some ways to streamline her

transitions.

Schools have no right to comment on medications. Just ignore it.

Don't give any reinforcement that this is something you want to discuss with them.

Autistic kids are very sensitive to medications. You just can't

keep increasing doses to solve problems.

good luck, it is so frustrating sometimes,

Pam

>

> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

>

> Marcia

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Suzanne...he goes to 7th grade at a new school next year...and I plan on working closely with the new teacher as I have with her this year.

Marcia

( ) I'll try again didn't get any reply's

Date: Wednesday, March 24, 2010, 9:56 AM

I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

Marcia

[Guest guest]

Thanks Melody....I think the teacher is just overtaxed and I can't seem to make her happy.....and after all it's not about her happiness it's about my son's and his ability to learn. I want more observation done like someone suggested to make sure he is getting the best education he is capable of.

Marcia

Re: ( ) I'll try again didn't get any reply's

This is excellent advice. This is the approach I use and

have had good success…the old catch more bees with honey. However, I have

had one teacher that was unreachable.

Good luck.

melody

[Guest guest]

What strikes me as odd is that the teacher doesn't want you in the classroom to

observe. I have been a teacher for a long time, and it makes me very uneasy

when a teacher doesn't want you in the classroom for any reason. I would

approach the teacher again, and I would tell her you very much want to come in

to observe and reassure her that you understand her concern about distraction,

but that won't sit with or visit with your son or other students. Maybe ask her

where a good place is for you to sit so that you are out of his line of sight,

and prep your son that you are coming in just to see what a great classroom he

has and explain that he should just try to pretend that you are not there and do

his job, which is to listen to his teacher and do his work.

Also, I'd keep your visit short- maybe 15 minutes or so.

She may have had a bad experience with a visiting parent in the past, but that

shouldn't prevent you from seeing first hand what is happening in the classroom.

If she shuts you down on this, I'd approach the school social worker or

principal and explain your situation without putting the teacher down, and see

if you can't get permission to observe from there.

Oh- one other thing I that just came to mind is to ask the teacher if you can

volunteer to help out in her class- to read with a student or help one with math

activities or just sit in the back and cut out bulletin board pieces or staple

work packets together or something. I've never seen a teacher turn down an

offer to volunteer.

Hope that helps.

>

> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about

s

> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

>

> Marcia

>

[Guest guest]

I've offered to come in and help....ESPECIALLY since the school levy

didn't pass and aids were cut down to one per class so it's just her

and one aid for 10 kids. She insisted no, now I got a looong note home

about s behavior and he was punished twice for not participating

in class.....(he wasn't doing his math) and put his head down and said

he was tired. Now I know some of this is his fault because when he

comes to something he doesn't really want to do he trys to get out of

it..like for example every Sunday morning he doesn't want to be in

church sitting still for and hour and puts his head on my shoulder and

tells me he has a headache so that maybe I will take him out. I've

talked to and he said the work is getting harder and I feel he

is probably needing a little more attention in class than she can

give. She pushed him so hard he said "I don't have to if I don't want

to" and ended up in a time out and also held back from going to an

outing to a restaraunt today. So she punished him for yesterdays

behavior and the day befores twice. She told him that if he did his

work while they we're gone she would come back and get him for the rest

of the trip to bowling. So I'm real curious to see what happens today,

I don't want to call her a liar but I think my son needs a little more

one on one because he is having difficulty with the work getting

harder. She said that had a calculator and it shouldn't have

been a problem. He is on Easter break next week but I will take your

advice and ask again if I can come in and observe. Who I'm really

waiting on talking to is the behaviorist that went to the classroom and

observed , he is to meet us at the autism clinic on Tuesday.

You know my son is going through puberty and it just doesn't sound like

something he would say..."I don't have to if I don't want to"...but I

don't know. Maybe it would be best if I went in and checked it out.

All I know is that we we're having some serious violent behaviors up

until a month ago...and he's getting bigger than I can handle and Iwas

getting hurt and have been hurt in the past by him pulling my hair and

scratching me and pushing me around. Since his meds were bumped up he

seems to calm down quicker and hasn't attacked me in a month. And he

is meeting his behavior plan and getting his rewards at home for great

compliance of the rules...sets the table does the garbage puts his

clothes away... I'll take your advice and see what she says about

coming into observe, I'm going to have his caseworker come in too. All

I know is that I'm not taking him down on meds because I can't live

with bieng attacked on a daily basis. Thanks for your advice...

Marcia

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

What strikes me as odd is that the teacher doesn't want you in the classroom to observe. I have been a teacher for a long time, and it makes me very uneasy when a teacher doesn't want you in the classroom for any reason. I would approach the teacher again, and I would tell her you very much want to come in to observe and reassure her that you understand her concern about distraction, but that won't sit with or visit with your son or other students. Maybe ask her where a good place is for you to sit so that you are out of his line of sight, and prep your son that you are coming in just to see what a great classroom he has and explain that he should just try to pretend that you are not there and do his job, which is to listen to his teacher and do his work.

Also, I'd keep your visit short- maybe 15 minutes or so.

She may have had a bad experience with a visiting parent in the past, but that shouldn't prevent you from seeing first hand what is happening in the classroom. If she shuts you down on this, I'd approach the school social worker or principal and explain your situation without putting the teacher down, and see if you can't get permission to observe from there.

Oh- one other thing I that just came to mind is to ask the teacher if you can volunteer to help out in her class- to read with a student or help one with math activities or just sit in the back and cut out bulletin board pieces or staple work packets together or something. I've never seen a teacher turn down an offer to volunteer.

Hope that helps.

>

> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

>

> Marcia

>

[Guest guest]

I've offered to come in and help....ESPECIALLY since the school levy didn't pass and aids were cut down to one per class so it's just her and one aid for 10 kids. She insisted no, now I got a looong note home about s behavior and he was punished twice for not participating in class.....(he wasn't doing his math) and put his head down and said he was tired. Now I know some of this is his fault because when he comes to something he doesn't really want to do he trys to get out of it..like for example every Sunday morning he doesn't want to be in church sitting still for and hour and puts his head on my shoulder and tells me he has a headache so that maybe I will take him out. I've talked to and he said the work is getting harder and I feel he is probably needing a little more attention in class than she can give. She pushed him so hard he said "I don't have to if I don't want to" and ended up in a time out and also held back from going to an outing to a restaraunt today. So she punished him for yesterdays behavior and the day befores twice. She told him that if he did his work while they we're gone she would come back and get him for the rest of the trip to bowling. So I'm real curious to see what happens today, I don't want to call her a liar but I think my son needs a little more one on one because he is having difficulty with the work getting harder. She said that had a calculator and it shouldn't have been a problem. He is on Easter break next week but I will take your advice and ask again if I can come in and observe. Who I'm really waiting on talking to is the behaviorist that went to the classroom and observed , he is to meet us at the autism clinic on Tuesday. You know my son is going through puberty and it just doesn't sound like something he would say..."I don't have to if I don't want to"...but I don't know. Maybe it would be best if I went in and checked it out. All I know is that we we're having some serious violent behaviors up until a month ago...and he's getting bigger than I can handle and Iwas getting hurt and have been hurt in the past by him pulling my hair and scratching me and pushing me around. Since his meds were bumped up he seems to calm down quicker and hasn't attacked me in a month. And he is meeting his behavior plan and getting his rewards at home for great compliance of the rules...sets the table does the garbage puts his clothes away... I'll take your advice and see what she says about coming into observe, I'm going to have his caseworker come in too. All I know is that I'm not taking him down on meds because I can't live with bieng attacked on a daily basis. Thanks for your advice...

Marcia

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

What strikes me as odd is that the teacher doesn't want you in the classroom to observe. I have been a teacher for a long time, and it makes me very uneasy when a teacher doesn't want you in the classroom for any reason. I would approach the teacher again, and I would tell her you very much want to come in to observe and reassure her that you understand her concern about distraction, but that won't sit with or visit with your son or other students. Maybe ask her where a good place is for you to sit so that you are out of his line of sight, and prep your son that you are coming in just to see what a great classroom he has and explain that he should just try to pretend that you are not there and do his job, which is to listen to his teacher and do his work.

Also, I'd keep your visit short- maybe 15 minutes or so.

She may have had a bad experience with a visiting parent in the past, but that shouldn't prevent you from seeing first hand what is happening in the classroom. If she shuts you down on this, I'd approach the school social worker or principal and explain your situation without putting the teacher down, and see if you can't get permission to observe from there.

Oh- one other thing I that just came to mind is to ask the teacher if you can volunteer to help out in her class- to read with a student or help one with math activities or just sit in the back and cut out bulletin board pieces or staple work packets together or something. I've never seen a teacher turn down an offer to volunteer.

Hope that helps.

>

> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

>

> Marcia

>

[Guest guest]

I've offered to come in and help....ESPECIALLY since the school levy didn't pass and aids were cut down to one per class so it's just her and one aid for 10 kids. She insisted no, now I got a looong note home about s behavior and he was punished twice for not participating in class.....(he wasn't doing his math) and put his head down and said he was tired. Now I know some of this is his fault because when he comes to something he doesn't really want to do he trys to get out of it..like for example every Sunday morning he doesn't want to be in church sitting still for and hour and puts his head on my shoulder and tells me he has a headache so that maybe I will take him out. I've talked to and he said the work is getting harder and I feel he is probably needing a little more attention in class than she can give. She pushed him so hard he said "I don't have to if I don't want to" and ended up in a time out and also held back from going to an outing to a restaraunt today. So she punished him for yesterdays behavior and the day befores twice. She told him that if he did his work while they we're gone she would come back and get him for the rest of the trip to bowling. So I'm real curious to see what happens today, I don't want to call her a liar but I think my son needs a little more one on one because he is having difficulty with the work getting harder. She said that had a calculator and it shouldn't have been a problem. He is on Easter break next week but I will take your advice and ask again if I can come in and observe. Who I'm really waiting on talking to is the behaviorist that went to the classroom and observed , he is to meet us at the autism clinic on Tuesday. You know my son is going through puberty and it just doesn't sound like something he would say..."I don't have to if I don't want to"...but I don't know. Maybe it would be best if I went in and checked it out. All I know is that we we're having some serious violent behaviors up until a month ago...and he's getting bigger than I can handle and Iwas getting hurt and have been hurt in the past by him pulling my hair and scratching me and pushing me around. Since his meds were bumped up he seems to calm down quicker and hasn't attacked me in a month. And he is meeting his behavior plan and getting his rewards at home for great compliance of the rules...sets the table does the garbage puts his clothes away... I'll take your advice and see what she says about coming into observe, I'm going to have his caseworker come in too. All I know is that I'm not taking him down on meds because I can't live with bieng attacked on a daily basis. Thanks for your advice...

Marcia

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

What strikes me as odd is that the teacher doesn't want you in the classroom to observe. I have been a teacher for a long time, and it makes me very uneasy when a teacher doesn't want you in the classroom for any reason. I would approach the teacher again, and I would tell her you very much want to come in to observe and reassure her that you understand her concern about distraction, but that won't sit with or visit with your son or other students. Maybe ask her where a good place is for you to sit so that you are out of his line of sight, and prep your son that you are coming in just to see what a great classroom he has and explain that he should just try to pretend that you are not there and do his job, which is to listen to his teacher and do his work.

Also, I'd keep your visit short- maybe 15 minutes or so.

She may have had a bad experience with a visiting parent in the past, but that shouldn't prevent you from seeing first hand what is happening in the classroom. If she shuts you down on this, I'd approach the school social worker or principal and explain your situation without putting the teacher down, and see if you can't get permission to observe from there.

Oh- one other thing I that just came to mind is to ask the teacher if you can volunteer to help out in her class- to read with a student or help one with math activities or just sit in the back and cut out bulletin board pieces or staple work packets together or something. I've never seen a teacher turn down an offer to volunteer.

Hope that helps.

>

> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

>

> Marcia

>

[Guest guest]

Oh Marcia! That is just a lot for you. I don't blame you for not adjusting the

meds. It would be very scary to be attacked by your own child. I worry about

that sometimes because my daughter will lash out and hit and bite and kick, but

she is still small enough that I can physically move her to her bedroom until

she calms down or wrap my arms around her so she can't hit me. I was just

talking to my husband about this the other day, saying what are we going to do

if this doesn't stop? She will soon be too big for us to handle.

This teacher sounds really burned out. I get that. It's got to be an

incredibly tough job, but that doesn't mean she can just act like that toward

your son. Just because he had a calculator doesn't mean he didn't need help!

It sounds like she needs a break or something. Maybe the Easter break will

re-energize her a little bit. Good luck to you and I hope you get to get in

there to observe. I still think it's weird she won't let you in, especially

given how she has been treating your son. I'd think she'd welcome your input and

support if she perceives his as such a " problem " . I'll be thinking of you and

sending you positive thoughts. Hang in there!

> >

> > I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about

s

> > medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> > teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was

any

> > behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> > there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> > classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> > discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> > only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the

classroom

> > and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

> >

> > Marcia

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks ,

You know I had a long talk with after he was punished twice..and told him if he did his work that he would be picked up to be able to go to the rest of the field trip to the bowling alley. He made me proud! He did his work and was able to go! Tonight I am taking him for a special treat to a Pet Expo just him and I.. Because of all the violent behaviors it had become nessecary( never have been able to spell that word) LOL to have home health care aids in everyday....he received a Individual options waiver which covers that for me..an aid will not be attending with us tonight and I am a little nervous about it but pray everything goes okay. As for your daughter that was how started out, it wasnt much of a problem when I could pick him up and take him to his room but as he became older and stronger it became a HUGE problem, that was when a behaviorist became imperative. Since putting in a strict behavior plan he has done so much better...after all like any kid he should have responsibilities and awards for good behaviors...tonight is one of them.

Yea I think shes pretty burn't out too...and I am going to give it one more week before I go in there... is on Spring break this next week we'll see how he gets along with her that following week and like I said we have an appointment with the autism doc and the behaviorist on Tuesday so we'll see how things play out but I know for sure I am not changing his meds and going to tackle the problem with her if she keeps up....all I know is that I have my sweet almost teenage boy back and want to keep it that way...its hard being a single parent, mom dad bill payor....which I'm having a very difficult time with no job...and on top of all that I am disabled....I'm a stable bipolar... I had two nervous breakdowns after my divorce (after I found out all the things he was doing behind my back) and was diagnosed with bipolar and PTSD. So just for tonight I'm going to try and put all my worries in a box and try to enjoy the special treat my son has earned...thanks for writing back.

Marcia

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

Oh Marcia! That is just a lot for you. I don't blame you for not adjusting the meds. It would be very scary to be attacked by your own child. I worry about that sometimes because my daughter will lash out and hit and bite and kick, but she is still small enough that I can physically move her to her bedroom until she calms down or wrap my arms around her so she can't hit me. I was just talking to my husband about this the other day, saying what are we going to do if this doesn't stop? She will soon be too big for us to handle.

This teacher sounds really burned out. I get that. It's got to be an incredibly tough job, but that doesn't mean she can just act like that toward your son. Just because he had a calculator doesn't mean he didn't need help! It sounds like she needs a break or something. Maybe the Easter break will re-energize her a little bit. Good luck to you and I hope you get to get in there to observe. I still think it's weird she won't let you in, especially given how she has been treating your son. I'd think she'd welcome your input and support if she perceives his as such a "problem". I'll be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts. Hang in there!

> >

> > I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> > medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> > teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> > behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> > there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> > classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> > discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> > only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> > and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

> >

> > Marcia

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Marcia,

I'm so glad you guys are going out tonight, and that he got to go bowling!! I

hope you both have a wonderful time. It sounds as if you could both use it.

I'm so impressed that you are able to hold it all together with all you have

going on. Hang in there and keep me posted. I'd love to stay in contact. You

are being an awesome mom doing all this advocating on your own! Stay strong:)

> > >

> > > I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about

s

> > > medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> > > teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was

any

> > > behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have

gone

> > > there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> > > classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> > > discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is

the

> > > only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the

classroom

> > > and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

> > >

> > > Marcia

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks I don't have any friends and I could use all the support from nice people like yourself... We had a great time at the Pet Expo and he didn't get overwhelmed or any outbursts or anything. And left without crying...I was really proud of him..

Marcia

Hows things going with you?

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

Hi Marcia,

I'm so glad you guys are going out tonight, and that he got to go bowling!! I hope you both have a wonderful time. It sounds as if you could both use it.

I'm so impressed that you are able to hold it all together with all you have going on. Hang in there and keep me posted. I'd love to stay in contact. You are being an awesome mom doing all this advocating on your own! Stay strong:)

> > >

> > > I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> > > medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> > > teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> > > behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> > > there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> > > classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> > > discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> > > only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> > > and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

> > >

> > > Marcia

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad you guys had a good time! I took my daughter ice skating this

afternoon, and she came pretty close to melting down a couple of times, but she

made it through and had some fun. Baby steps, right?

> > > >

> > > > I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about

s

> > > > medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought

the

> > > > teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there

was any

> > > > behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have

gone

> > > > there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in

the

> > > > classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th

to

> > > > discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is

the

> > > > only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the

classroom

> > > > and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any

suggestions?

> > > >

> > > > Marcia

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

Whats good news about that was she almost had a meltdown but calmed down thats a sign of great promise...how old is she and is she on any meds?

Marcia

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

I'm so glad you guys had a good time! I took my daughter ice skating this afternoon, and she came pretty close to melting down a couple of times, but she made it through and had some fun. Baby steps, right?

> > > >

> > > > I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> > > > medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> > > > teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> > > > behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> > > > there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> > > > classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> > > > discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> > > > only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> > > > and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

> > > >

> > > > Marcia

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You need to ask the principal or superintendent what the policy is for visiting the classroom. See it in writing. Then you follow the rules and go visit the class. For instance, my school's policy was to just let them know in advance and you had to sign in at the office. I would not take "no" for answer. Again, do not ask the teacher. Ask the principal for the policy in writing.

It is disheartening to me to hear what is going on for your ds. I wish I had a dime for every time I heard, "He refused to..." with my ds. Eventually, things got so bad, he refused to even go to school! You have to get a full FBA done. He needs some breaks throughout the day (some call this having a "sensory diet") He needs to have built in rewards as well, not demands to finish now. When he is on overload, he is shutting down. He may well have said that to his teacher - anything to make her go away. My ds would too. The teacher sounds really out of touch with what kids with learning problems need. I would definitely get an FBA done, then put together a behavior plan with POSITIVE behavior supports. See if the autism specialist for the school will work with the teacher to understand his specific problems/needs as well. She sounds like she could use some inservicing on these kinds of issues. Teacher should be encouraging him to finish, not threatening him to finish. Ugh.

I know your situation may be different than mine was. But one thing I'd like to add is that my ds never purposely tried to cause problems. If he could do something, he would do it. (he hated to be noticed) If he couldn't, he would shut down (head on desk, fall asleep, refuse to do work, etc.) There was always a reason why he wasn't doing what he was supposed to do and it was never a case where he was just refusing because he felt like being obnoxious that day.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

What strikes me as odd is that the teacher doesn't want you in the classroom to observe. I have been a teacher for a long time, and it makes me very uneasy when a teacher doesn't want you in the classroom for any reason. I would approach the teacher again, and I would tell her you very much want to come in to observe and reassure her that you understand her concern about distraction, but that won't sit with or visit with your son or other students. Maybe ask her where a good place is for you to sit so that you are out of his line of sight, and prep your son that you are coming in just to see what a great classroom he has and explain that he should just try to pretend that you are not there and do his job, which is to listen to his teacher and do his work.

Also, I'd keep your visit short- maybe 15 minutes or so.

She may have had a bad experience with a visiting parent in the past, but that shouldn't prevent you from seeing first hand what is happening in the classroom. If she shuts you down on this, I'd approach the school social worker or principal and explain your situation without putting the teacher down, and see if you can't get permission to observe from there.

Oh- one other thing I that just came to mind is to ask the teacher if you can volunteer to help out in her class- to read with a student or help one with math activities or just sit in the back and cut out bulletin board pieces or staple work packets together or something. I've never seen a teacher turn down an offer to volunteer.

Hope that helps.

>

> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

>

> Marcia

>

[Guest guest]

I agree totally with you and the behaviorist came in and didn't see it as a problem...I took him to the autism clinic and they don't seem tot hink he has a problem, what he has said to me is that the work is getting harder and I'm getting the impression he needs the sensory diet that you suggested. I have an IEP to be scheduled next week.

I also found out she is making him where an apron in class for his drooling, which the funny thing is he doesnt do at home. At the IEP I am going to ask her again when I can come in and observe the principle will be present.

Thanks..

Not to be stupid but what is an FBA?

Marcia

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

What strikes me as odd is that the teacher doesn't want you in the classroom to observe. I have been a teacher for a long time, and it makes me very uneasy when a teacher doesn't want you in the classroom for any reason. I would approach the teacher again, and I would tell her you very much want to come in to observe and reassure her that you understand her concern about distraction, but that won't sit with or visit with your son or other students. Maybe ask her where a good place is for you to sit so that you are out of his line of sight, and prep your son that you are coming in just to see what a great classroom he has and explain that he should just try to pretend that you are not there and do his job, which is to listen to his teacher and do his work.

Also, I'd keep your visit short- maybe 15 minutes or so.

She may have had a bad experience with a visiting parent in the past, but that shouldn't prevent you from seeing first hand what is happening in the classroom. If she shuts you down on this, I'd approach the school social worker or principal and explain your situation without putting the teacher down, and see if you can't get permission to observe from there.

Oh- one other thing I that just came to mind is to ask the teacher if you can volunteer to help out in her class- to read with a student or help one with math activities or just sit in the back and cut out bulletin board pieces or staple work packets together or something. I've never seen a teacher turn down an offer to volunteer.

Hope that helps.

>

> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

>

> Marcia

>

[Guest guest]

I would make her stop forcing him to wear an apron, especially if it bothers him. What is her PROBLEM!?!? Argh!

And FBA is "Functional Behavior Assessment". And you are not stupid for asking. We are not born knowing all this stuff!!

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Re: I'll try again didn't get any reply's

What strikes me as odd is that the teacher doesn't want you in the classroom to observe. I have been a teacher for a long time, and it makes me very uneasy when a teacher doesn't want you in the classroom for any reason. I would approach the teacher again, and I would tell her you very much want to come in to observe and reassure her that you understand her concern about distraction, but that won't sit with or visit with your son or other students. Maybe ask her where a good place is for you to sit so that you are out of his line of sight, and prep your son that you are coming in just to see what a great classroom he has and explain that he should just try to pretend that you are not there and do his job, which is to listen to his teacher and do his work.

Also, I'd keep your visit short- maybe 15 minutes or so.

She may have had a bad experience with a visiting parent in the past, but that shouldn't prevent you from seeing first hand what is happening in the classroom. If she shuts you down on this, I'd approach the school social worker or principal and explain your situation without putting the teacher down, and see if you can't get permission to observe from there.

Oh- one other thing I that just came to mind is to ask the teacher if you can volunteer to help out in her class- to read with a student or help one with math activities or just sit in the back and cut out bulletin board pieces or staple work packets together or something. I've never seen a teacher turn down an offer to volunteer.

Hope that helps.

>

> I wrote last week concerning my son's teacher jumping up and down about s

> medications. The behaviorist went out and observed and said he thought the

> teacher was overstating the problem and he didn't seem to think there was any

> behavior problems or excessive drooling in the classroom. I would have gone

> there myself but she has told me that parents are very distracting in the

> classroom. We still have a appointment at the autism clinic on the 30th to

> discuss...and the behaviorist will be attending. I think this teacher is the

> only one with a problem because she doesn't have enough help in the classroom

> and don't understand why she is taking it out on my son. Any suggestions?

>

> Marcia

>