Re: ever feel like every thing going wrong

January 4, 2011

Hugs to you...............

Robin

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY

WHAT YOU DID OR WHAT YOU SAID,

BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER

HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL

From: <denise092769@...>Subject: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong Date: Monday, January 3, 2011, 9:44 PM

hi just had one of rough day with my jd he 14 started in morning being late for school on slow mode he just doesnt get you need to moe quicker. today wasnt good either i was trying to talk to him about changing his routine so wont be late he wakes up 5.30 am for school the bus comes at 8:00 and he still late i know routine is hard for them. It was one of those bad days when everything argument or almost meltdown

January 4, 2011

--- Hello group,

I'm new to this so I'm not exactly sure who all I'm talking to. Something must be in the air because all day long I wanted to post the same type of reaction. I have a six year old son who was originally diagnosed at 3 with severe ADHD (still holds true...) but now it has moved to Asperger's. I have been in education for twenty years and have worked in psychiatric hospitals and even a private school dedicated to Austism Spectrum kids....despite all of that I feel like I've been sucker punched in the gut by several people. How do you veterans deal with that? Help!

Thanks

January 4, 2011

My thoughts are with you, my son is 7, and not a morning goes by where we don't have some crisis. Especially after this long break, he kept telling me "Mom I'm scared" (of going to school). Poor guy really has issues. I can't imagine 14, but someday it will be us.

All the best,

From: <denise092769@...> Sent: Mon, January 3, 2011 7:44:10 PMSubject: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

hi just had one of rough day with my jd he 14 started in morning being late for school on slow mode he just doesnt get you need to moe quicker. today wasnt good either i was trying to talk to him about changing his routine so wont be late he wakes up 5.30 am for school the bus comes at 8:00 and he still late i know routine is hard for them. It was one of those bad days when everything argument or almost meltdown

January 4, 2011

sounds like you are a lot like me . I worked in various schools for 33 years with all kinds of kids. Even worked in a day school for Behavior and Emotional disorders and now I have an Aspie Granddaughter who we have adopted. I have retired and am an outsider to schools now, and I do not like what is being done at all. They say they will set up accommodations, but the accommodations have nothing to do with aspergers, but rather her dyslexia/dysgraphia which she has pretty well already figured out. And that accommodation is just that she has an extra day to turn in assignments. The amount of writing was overwhelming and now she has been booted to a facility for psychiatric conditions. Don't know if they are teaching anything. I hear of all these wonderful programs and help they are given

credit for doing but I don't see any of it being done... I am disgusted and fearful... From: Weiss <cindyjonesweiss@...> Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 2:03:17 PMSubject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

--- Hello group,

I'm new to this so I'm not exactly sure who all I'm talking to. Something must be in the air because all day long I wanted to post the same type of reaction. I have a six year old son who was originally diagnosed at 3 with severe ADHD (still holds true...) but now it has moved to Asperger's. I have been in education for twenty years and have worked in psychiatric hospitals and even a private school dedicated to Austism Spectrum kids....despite all of that I feel like I've been sucker punched in the gut by several people. How do you veterans deal with that? Help!

Thanks

January 5, 2011

,

I deal with it by posting and talking to everyone on this site.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Weiss <cindyjonesweiss@...> Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 2:03:17 PMSubject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

--- Hello group,

I'm new to this so I'm not exactly sure who all I'm talking to. Something must be in the air because all day long I wanted to post the same type of reaction. I have a six year old son who was originally diagnosed at 3 with severe ADHD (still holds true...) but now it has moved to Asperger's. I have been in education for twenty years and have worked in psychiatric hospitals and even a private school dedicated to Austism Spectrum kids....despite all of that I feel like I've been sucker punched in the gut by several people. How do you veterans deal with that? Help!

Thanks

January 5, 2011

thanks but i bet everymom and dad and caregiver having one having a bad week hugs to everyone

From: <denise092769@...>Subject: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong Date: Monday, January 3, 2011, 9:44 PM

hi just had one of rough day with my jd he 14 started in morning being late for school on slow mode he just doesnt get you need to moe quicker. today wasnt good either i was trying to talk to him about changing his routine so wont be late he wakes up 5.30 am for school the bus comes at 8:00 and he still late i know routine is hard for them. It was one of those bad days when everything argument or almost meltdown

January 5, 2011

Thanks, Jan. This is a new experience for me and it's hard to figure out how to fit in, even on-line! I already feel much relief reading other people's stories. I don't wish hardships on others it's just nice to know we're not alone.

January 5, 2011

Good morning Sandee,

I have to tell you I am experiencing public schools from a completely different viewpoint now. I have always been a child's advocate and thought my district was, too. I think my district does believe in doing what's right, I think there is just more ignorance out there than I ever imagined. I understand our children have diagnosis that are somewhat "new" when you look at history. However, there is plenty of information available now for us to err on the side of children. I'm in a sticky situation because I am an employee at the school where my son attends kindergarten. The people I have worked with and loved for over ten years now have a different role in my life. While I don't want conflict with any of them, there is NOTHING I won't do for my son. We've decided to move because we live in such a small town and I know our district's limitations. The problem that I keep coming back to is that our

children have advocates....there are so many of them who do not. I feel a responsibility to them as an educator and a human.

God bless you for taking on another child!

January 5, 2011

Hi Sandee, I agree with you 100%. I feel that the normal classroom teacher is not educated on teaching/reaching a child with autism. (or learning differences) We as parents/grandparents as well have to do something to make the Fed. Government change their guidelines and requirements for the education/future of our children. I feel the Fed. Government should build/supply our children who are so very gifted with special schools to attend in order for them to reach highest potential. (only aspie's could attend) I would love to do an at home video for the teachers on a day in the life of my daughter. Do you think they would believe it was authentic?

(lol) Happy New Year! Elinor mom to Maeci the perfect student.. From: sandee C <irsandee@...> Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 10:05:08 PMSubject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

sounds like you are a lot like me . I worked in various schools for 33 years with all kinds of kids. Even worked in a day school for Behavior and Emotional disorders and now I have an Aspie Granddaughter who we have adopted. I have retired and am an outsider to schools now, and I do not like what is being done at all. They say they will set up accommodations, but the accommodations have nothing to do with aspergers, but rather her dyslexia/dysgraphia which she has pretty well already figured out. And that accommodation is just that she has an extra day to turn in assignments. The amount of writing was overwhelming and now she has been booted to a facility for psychiatric conditions. Don't know if they are teaching anything. I hear of all these wonderful programs and help they are given

credit for doing but I don't see any of it being done... I am disgusted and fearful... From: Weiss <cindyjonesweiss@...> Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 2:03:17 PMSubject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

--- Hello group,

I'm new to this so I'm not exactly sure who all I'm talking to. Something must be in the air because all day long I wanted to post the same type of reaction. I have a six year old son who was originally diagnosed at 3 with severe ADHD (still holds true...) but now it has moved to Asperger's. I have been in education for twenty years and have worked in psychiatric hospitals and even a private school dedicated to Austism Spectrum kids....despite all of that I feel like I've been sucker punched in the gut by several people. How do you veterans deal with that? Help!

Thanks

January 5, 2011

I agree 100%!From: Elinor Mullin <elliemullin@...> Sent: Wed, January 5, 2011 1:11:15 PMSubject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

Hi Sandee, I agree with you 100%. I feel that the normal classroom teacher is not educated on teaching/reaching a child with autism. (or learning differences) We as parents/grandparents as well have to do something to make the Fed. Government change their guidelines and requirements for the education/future of our children. I feel the Fed. Government should build/supply our children who are so very gifted with special schools to attend in order for them to reach highest potential. (only aspie's could attend) I would love to do an at home video for the teachers on a day in the life of my daughter. Do you think they would believe it was authentic?

(lol) Happy New Year! Elinor mom to Maeci the perfect student.. From: sandee C <irsandee@...> Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 10:05:08 PMSubject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

sounds like you are a lot like me . I worked in various schools for 33 years with all kinds of kids. Even worked in a day school for Behavior and Emotional disorders and now I have an Aspie Granddaughter who we have adopted. I have retired and am an outsider to schools now, and I do not like what is being done at all. They say they will set up accommodations, but the accommodations have nothing to do with aspergers, but rather her dyslexia/dysgraphia which she has pretty well already figured out. And that accommodation is just that she has an extra day to turn in assignments. The amount of writing was overwhelming and now she has been booted to a facility for psychiatric conditions. Don't know if they are teaching anything. I hear of all these wonderful programs and help they are given

credit for doing but I don't see any of it being done... I am disgusted and fearful... From: Weiss <cindyjonesweiss@...> Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 2:03:17 PMSubject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

--- Hello group,

I'm new to this so I'm not exactly sure who all I'm talking to. Something must be in the air because all day long I wanted to post the same type of reaction. I have a six year old son who was originally diagnosed at 3 with severe ADHD (still holds true...) but now it has moved to Asperger's. I have been in education for twenty years and have worked in psychiatric hospitals and even a private school dedicated to Austism Spectrum kids....despite all of that I feel like I've been sucker punched in the gut by several people. How do you veterans deal with that? Help!

Thanks

January 5, 2011

I was in that situation too... It is tough cause they look at you like you obviously are incompetent as a mother, and most likely as an educator too...at least that is the way I felt with the elementary school people for my grand/daughter.. I am glad I retired. But now, they just think I am a bitchy parent who has a spoiled child that can't behave, because she has melt downs when she can't figure out what to do without accommodations. I really sometimes think I am being paid back by "fate" for every kid that I wasn't able to, or didn't take time to, or didn't know how to help, while I worked.. Dumb thinking, I know, but sometimes I slip into it. It is the old "payback is hell thinking... (Please see that as humor...)From: Weiss <cindyjonesweiss@...> Sent: Wed, January 5, 2011 10:01:33 AMSubject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

Good morning Sandee,

I have to tell you I am experiencing public schools from a completely different viewpoint now. I have always been a child's advocate and thought my district was, too. I think my district does believe in doing what's right, I think there is just more ignorance out there than I ever imagined. I understand our children have diagnosis that are somewhat "new" when you look at history. However, there is plenty of information available now for us to err on the side of children. I'm in a sticky situation because I am an employee at the school where my son attends kindergarten. The people I have worked with and loved for over ten years now have a different role in my life. While I don't want conflict with any of them, there is NOTHING I won't do for my son. We've decided to move because we live in such a small town and I know our district's limitations. The problem that I keep coming back to is that our

children have advocates....there are so many of them who do not. I feel a responsibility to them as an educator and a human.

God bless you for taking on another child!

January 5, 2011

,

You are not alone...beleive me. There are so many of us here. My son was dx with ADHD in 3rd grade and the PDD NOS in the beginning of 6th and by Dec. of that year it became Asperger's ....I have been on the roller coaster so many times...ups and downs and twists and turns...I have been at points in my life that I felt I need to be on the 6th floor of the hospital...and so low that I could not even get out of bed. But, just lately these past 2 years ...things have evened out a bit at school. My son is 15 and right now we are dealing with HORMONES and TEEN things...he doesn't want to talk to us...he hangs in his room...it is almost like I don't have a child. And, if I do try to talk to him ...he BARKS at us. I can not wait for this stage to be over.

My best suggestion is read as much material as you can. Go to s Law and read and read and read. Get one of their books on IEP's. Find out as much as you can. And, when you go to an IEP meeting...if you need to...take someone with you. Don't sign anything there...tell them you want to look it over at home. Review it. Tell the teachers and staff what difficulties your child is having....such as Loud Noises, writing, taking notes, sensory problems, processing problems, reading problems...comprehension,.....etc. ect. Ask them...what do you suggest???? What accommodations are available and what do you think will help my child? Don't go in like the devil's advocate...that will only put them on the defensive...try to work with the teachers...ask them for suggestions ...if you know what your child needs...lead them in that direction but let them come out and say

it...

What accommodations?

1. seating placement...front/or back

2. extended time to take tests

3. study guides for tests

4. copy of all the class notes

5. copy of all the books at home

6. tests read to them

7. re-wording of directions

8. projects broken down into smaller chunks.

9. Re-testing when child fails a test

10 Modified tests?

11 Small, quiter setting for tests

12. Ability to take a sensory break

13 Speech

14 OT

15 Adapted Gym

16 Ability to go to guidance when needed or as needed

There are a lot of accommodations that can be made....let the teachers know what your child struggles with, how she learns (visually or auditory). what you believe will help.

This is would be my recommendation....try to work with the school first...

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Weiss <cindyjonesweiss@...> Sent: Wed, January 5, 2011 9:56:33 AMSubject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

Thanks, Jan. This is a new experience for me and it's hard to figure out how to fit in, even on-line! I already feel much relief reading other people's stories. I don't wish hardships on others it's just nice to know we're not alone.

January 6, 2011

We have dealt with this before. I realized that my ds could not physically "go faster" no matter what. It was maddening to realize this because it seems so obviously simple - just move FASTER!! And yet, he can't. He goes the same speed no matter what.

With that in mind, I would focus instead on a routine. Figure out how much time he needs, write down a schedule to help him visualize and stay on schedule. Prompt him to follow his schedule and stay on time.

I also try to move focus on to the schedule. If he gets upset, point to the schedule. It's not your fault he has to be doing X, Y or Z - it's the schedule. When he gets upset at you because he has to get his shoes on, point to the schedule. It cuts down on nagging and gives him something to blame instead of you. <g> Maybe. lol.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

hi just had one of rough day with my jd he 14 started in morning being late for school on slow mode he just doesnt get you need to moe quicker. today wasnt good either i was trying to talk to him about changing his routine so wont be late he wakes up 5.30 am for school the bus comes at 8:00 and he still late i know routine is hard for them. It was one of those bad days when everything argument or almost meltdown

February 12, 2011

EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! Yes, and some days I just want to run away. I try to

focus on hour by hour instead of day by day. Hourly is a much better measure of

how we are doing! Hang in there. It is hard. Do you have any support?

(besides us!) family & friends? a therapy group nearby?

I also find journaling helps me a lot when I remember to do it! I keep one that

I write just to my son and it is filled with only the positive things. The

other journal is for me and is filled with my angst and complaints and all kinds

of ranting and raving and negative stuff- a place to get it out I guess!

I try to be kind to myself. Raising kids in general is a tough job... raising

special needs kids is even harder in my humble opinion. I watch the show

Parenthood and there was a scene where the grandpa took Max (who is an Aspie-

age 8 or 9) camping one weekend. He said to his son " now I have an idea of what

you go through every single day! " . That really resonated with me. My sister

watches the show too and she was in tears when she heard that and called me

right away.

Well- I don't think I was much help except to say...yes I usually do feel like

everything is going wrong and here's a big HUG! )

>

> this week was so bad.why does it have to be this hard.ever feel like you can't

take it anymore.some days i feel this way.I just wish to have one perfect day

where i dont have to deal with meltdowns and drama . I guess thats too much to

ask dont mind me just such a bad week

>

February 12, 2011

I BAWLED at that episode. I don't think anyone in our family knows what we go thru on an everyday basis. My MIL keeps saying what she's going thru is puberty! We had parent/teacher conferences yesterday and I felt so good talking to her teacher (who is VERY knowledgeable about aspie, her brother is autistic) and she was shaking her head too. Every time I read an email from my mother in law I come back here and read an email to calm me down..lol. and she wants ME to let her watch madeline for a few weeks in the summer??? NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THey already think we we spend way too much time on our little ones and not enough time on Madeline....@@ Sorry, that was a side rant. I loved that show too!!

Mom to my 4 girls

Madeline, Cayla, Arabella, & Vincenza

"You are the TRIP I did not take

You are the PEARLS I cannot buy

You are the blue Italian LAKE

YOU are my piece of foreign SKY"

---Anne ----

( ) Re: ever feel like every thing going wrong

EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! Yes, and some days I just want to run away. I try to focus on hour by hour instead of day by day. Hourly is a much better measure of how we are doing! Hang in there. It is hard. Do you have any support? (besides us!) family & friends? a therapy group nearby?

I also find journaling helps me a lot when I remember to do it! I keep one that I write just to my son and it is filled with only the positive things. The other journal is for me and is filled with my angst and complaints and all kinds of ranting and raving and negative stuff- a place to get it out I guess!

I try to be kind to myself. Raising kids in general is a tough job... raising special needs kids is even harder in my humble opinion. I watch the show Parenthood and there was a scene where the grandpa took Max (who is an Aspie- age 8 or 9) camping one weekend. He said to his son "now I have an idea of what you go through every single day!". That really resonated with me. My sister watches the show too and she was in tears when she heard that and called me right away.

Well- I don't think I was much help except to say...yes I usually do feel like everything is going wrong and here's a big HUG! )

>

> this week was so bad.why does it have to be this hard.ever feel like you can't take it anymore.some days i feel this way.I just wish to have one perfect day where i dont have to deal with meltdowns and drama . I guess thats too much to ask dont mind me just such a bad week

>

February 12, 2011

Great list Jan. My son is 15 too. I think that middle school was the worst. My

son has a lot of the accomodations that you mention in your list but doesn't

need them as much now as he did in his earlier school years.

One thing that I started doing is at the beginning of the semester is to send

each of his teachers an email with a short history of my son along with comments

about his strengths and weaknesses. I started doing this when after being

horrified about how one of my son's teachers spoke about him (not by name) at an

open house. It was like she thought that he was just filling up space. (Why do

so many teachers think that spec ed kids aren't smart?! Drives me crazy!) I

think that my note helps the teachers understand my son a bit better and helps

them teach him more effectively.

One more thing I advise to do is to list all of your wants for the IEP in a

bullet list form. Bring it to the meeting and go through and check things off as

you deal with them. When I was dealing with a difficult school district and was

heading to mediation our lawyer advised us to do this so that the list could

basically become the agenda for the mediation. The lawyer also advised to have a

few items on the list that you were willing to compromise on so that you looked

like you are willing to work with the school. He advised to review the list

prior to the meeting and decide which items on our list were must haves, nice to

haves and throwaways. Deciding before the meeting keeps you focused on what you

need to fight for if necessary. Having the list at IEP meetings and mediation

meetings worked well.

Caroline

>

> ,

>

> You are not alone...beleive me.Â There are so many of us here.Â My son was

dx

> with ADHD in 3rd grade and the PDD NOS in the beginning of 6th and by Dec. of

> that year it became Asperger's ....I haveÂ been on the roller coaster so many

> times...ups and downs and twists and turns...I have been at points in my life

> that I felt I need to be on the 6thÂ floor of the hospital...and so low that I

> could not even get out of bed.Â But, just lately these past 2 years

> ...thingsÂ have evened out a bit at school.Â My son is 15 and right now we

are

> dealing with HORMONES and TEEN things...he doesn't want to talk to us...he

hangs

> in his room...it is almost like I don't have a child.Â And, if I do try to

talk

> to him ...he BARKS at us.Â I can not wait for this stage to be over.

>

> My best suggestion is read as much material as you can.Â GoÂ to s Law

and

> read and read and read.Â Get one of their booksÂ on IEP's.Â Find out as much

as

> you can.Â And, when you go to an IEP meeting...if you need to...take someone

> with you.Â Don't sign anything there...tell them you want to look it over at

> home. ReviewÂ it.Â Â Tell the teachers and staff what difficulties your child

is

> having....such as Loud Noises, writing, taking notes, sensory problems,

> processing problems, reading problems...comprehension,.....etc.Â ect.Â Ask

> them...what do youÂ suggest???? What accommodations are available and what do

you

> think will help my child?Â Don't go in like the devil's advocate...that will

> only putÂ them on the defensive...try to work with the teachers...ask them for

> suggestions ...if you know what your child needs...lead themÂ in that

direction

> but let them come out and say it...

>

> WhatÂ accommodations?

> 1. seating placement...front/or back

> 2. extended time to take tests

> 3. study guides for tests

> 4. copy of all the class notes

> 5.Â copy of all the books at home

> 6. tests read to them

> 7. re-wording of directions

> 8. projectsÂ broken down into smaller chunks.

> 9. Re-testing when child fails aÂ test

> 10 Modified tests?

> 11 Small, quiter setting for tests

> 12. Ability to take a sensory break

> 13 Speech

> 14Â OT

> 15 Adapted Gym

> 16 Ability to go toÂ guidance when needed or as needed

>

> There are a lot of accommodations that can be made....let the teachers know

what

> your childÂ strugglesÂ with, how she learns (visually or auditory).Â what you

> believe will help.

>

> This is would be my recommendation....try to work with the school first...

>

> Jan

> Â

> " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity " Â Â Â Albert Einstein

> Â

> Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has

overcome

> to obtain that position

>

> ________________________________

> From: Weiss <cindyjonesweiss@...>

>

> Sent: Wed, January 5, 2011 9:56:33 AM

> Subject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

>

> Â

>

> Thanks, Jan.Â This is a new experience for me and it's hard to figure out how

to

> fit in, even on-line!Â I already feel much relief reading other people's

> stories.Â I don't wish hardships on others it's just nice to know we're not

> alone.

>

February 12, 2011

I feel like this a lot lately. It's a constant fight, and it weakens me. We are trying a new place that deals with these issues in teens, and I am hoping this is THE place that is going to help. Everyone of the psychologists look at me like I am a neurotic mother, because my daughter can act ok in front of others, more than she can at home.

From: <denise092769@...>Subject: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong Date: Saturday, February 12, 2011, 3:02 AM

this week was so bad.why does it have to be this hard.ever feel like you can't take it anymore.some days i feel this way.I just wish to have one perfect day where i dont have to deal with meltdowns and drama . I guess thats too much to ask dont mind me just such a bad week

February 12, 2011

Oh my gosh I feel like this every day!

>

> this week was so bad.why does it have to be this hard.ever feel like you can't

take it anymore.some days i feel this way.I just wish to have one perfect day

where i dont have to deal with meltdowns and drama . I guess thats too much to

ask dont mind me just such a bad week

>

February 12, 2011

I am SOOO right there with you this week! Out of the blue we have this aggressive, demanding, moody, etc. kid this week. We were doing so well and then BAM! I'm sorry you had such a bad week too! Hugs!!! And know that you're not alone!

Beth

( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

this week was so bad.why does it have to be this hard.ever feel like you can't take it anymore.some days i feel this way.I just wish to have one perfect day where i dont have to deal with meltdowns and drama . I guess thats too much to ask dont mind me just such a bad week

February 12, 2011

Today my Aspie is being awesome and my NT are being buttheads!!!! lol..

Mom to my 4 girls

Madeline, Cayla, Arabella, & Vincenza

"You are the TRIP I did not take

You are the PEARLS I cannot buy

You are the blue Italian LAKE

YOU are my piece of foreign SKY"

---Anne ----

Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

I am SOOO right there with you this week! Out of the blue we have this aggressive, demanding, moody, etc. kid this week. We were doing so well and then BAM! I'm sorry you had such a bad week too! Hugs!!! And know that you're not alone!

Beth

( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

this week was so bad.why does it have to be this hard.ever feel like you can't take it anymore.some days i feel this way.I just wish to have one perfect day where i dont have to deal with meltdowns and drama . I guess thats too much to ask dont mind me just such a bad week

=

February 12, 2011

OMG...I was reading the post and said wow...this sounds just like my son.....when I got to the end of it I realized I was the one who wrote it....LOL. I guess I wrote it a while ago and forgot.

Teens years are really hard ....can't wait for them to be over...

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Catcelia <c2cats@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 10:56:15 AMSubject: ( ) Re: ever feel like every thing going wrong

Great list Jan. My son is 15 too. I think that middle school was the worst. My son has a lot of the accomodations that you mention in your list but doesn't need them as much now as he did in his earlier school years. One thing that I started doing is at the beginning of the semester is to send each of his teachers an email with a short history of my son along with comments about his strengths and weaknesses. I started doing this when after being horrified about how one of my son's teachers spoke about him (not by name) at an open house. It was like she thought that he was just filling up space. (Why do so many teachers think that spec ed kids aren't smart?! Drives me crazy!) I think that my note helps the teachers understand my son a bit better and helps them teach him more effectively.One more thing I advise to do is to list all of your wants for the IEP in a bullet list form. Bring it to the meeting and go through and check things

off as you deal with them. When I was dealing with a difficult school district and was heading to mediation our lawyer advised us to do this so that the list could basically become the agenda for the mediation. The lawyer also advised to have a few items on the list that you were willing to compromise on so that you looked like you are willing to work with the school. He advised to review the list prior to the meeting and decide which items on our list were must haves, nice to haves and throwaways. Deciding before the meeting keeps you focused on what you need to fight for if necessary. Having the list at IEP meetings and mediation meetings worked well. Caroline>> ,> > You are not

alone...beleive me.Ã‚ There are so many of us here.Ã‚ My son was dx > with ADHD in 3rd grade and the PDD NOS in the beginning of 6th and by Dec. of > that year it became Asperger's ....I haveÃ‚ been on the roller coaster so many > times...ups and downs and twists and turns...I have been at points in my life > that I felt I need to be on the 6thÃ‚ floor of the hospital...and so low that I > could not even get out of bed.Ã‚ But, just lately these past 2 years > ...thingsÃ‚ have evened out a bit at school.Ã‚ My son is 15 and right now we are > dealing with HORMONES and TEEN things...he doesn't want to talk to us...he hangs > in his room...it is almost like I don't have a child.Ã‚ And, if I do try to talk > to him ...he BARKS at us.Ã‚ I can not wait for this stage to be over.> > My best suggestion is read as much material as you

can.Ã‚ GoÃ‚ to s Law and > read and read and read.Ã‚ Get one of their booksÃ‚ on IEP's.Ã‚ Find out as much as > you can.Ã‚ And, when you go to an IEP meeting...if you need to...take someone > with you.Ã‚ Don't sign anything there...tell them you want to look it over at > home. ReviewÃ‚ it.Ã‚ Ã‚ Tell the teachers and staff what difficulties your child is > having....such as Loud Noises, writing, taking notes, sensory problems, > processing problems, reading problems...comprehension,.....etc.Ã‚ ect.Ã‚ Ask > them...what do youÃ‚ suggest???? What accommodations are available and what do you > think will help my child?Ã‚ Don't go in like the devil's advocate...that will > only putÃ‚ them on the defensive...try to work with the teachers...ask them for > suggestions ...if you know what your child

needs...lead themÃ‚ in that direction > but let them come out and say it...> > WhatÃ‚ accommodations?> 1. seating placement...front/or back> 2. extended time to take tests> 3. study guides for tests> 4. copy of all the class notes> 5.Ã‚ copy of all the books at home> 6. tests read to them> 7. re-wording of directions> 8. projectsÃ‚ broken down into smaller chunks.> 9. Re-testing when child fails aÃ‚ test> 10 Modified tests?> 11 Small, quiter setting for tests> 12. Ability to take a sensory break> 13 Speech> 14Ã‚ OT> 15 Adapted Gym> 16 Ability to go toÃ‚ guidance when needed or as needed> > > There are a lot of accommodations that can be made....let the teachers know what > your childÃ‚ strugglesÃ‚ with, how she learns (visually or auditory).Ã‚

what you > believe will help. > > > This is would be my recommendation....try to work with the school first...> > Jan> Ã‚ > "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity"Ã‚ Ã‚ Ã‚ Albert Einstein> Ã‚ > Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome > to obtain that position> > > > > ________________________________> From: Weiss <cindyjonesweiss@...>> > Sent: Wed, January 5, 2011 9:56:33 AM> Subject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong> > Ã‚ > > Thanks, Jan.Ã‚ This is a new experience for me and it's hard to figure

out how to > fit in, even on-line!Ã‚ I already feel much relief reading other people's > stories.Ã‚ I don't wish hardships on others it's just nice to know we're not > alone.> >

February 12, 2011

He he.

Sometimes, you can't win for losing. he he.

Robin

Karmageddon (n):

It's, like,

when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right?

And then, like,

the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer!

From: patricia <Zazoo81198@...>Subject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong Date: Saturday, February 12, 2011, 2:48 PM

Today my Aspie is being awesome and my NT are being buttheads!!!! lol..

Mom to my 4 girlsMadeline, Cayla, Arabella, & Vincenza"You are the TRIP I did not takeYou are the PEARLS I cannot buyYou are the blue Italian LAKEYOU are my piece of foreign SKY"---Anne ----

Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

I am SOOO right there with you this week! Out of the blue we have this aggressive, demanding, moody, etc. kid this week. We were doing so well and then BAM! I'm sorry you had such a bad week too! Hugs!!! And know that you're not alone!

Beth

( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong

this week was so bad.why does it have to be this hard.ever feel like you can't take it anymore.some days i feel this way.I just wish to have one perfect day where i dont have to deal with meltdowns and drama . I guess thats too much to ask dont mind me just such a bad week

=

Get your own web address. Have a HUGE year through Small Business.

February 12, 2011

Darnit, Jan. You just made me laugh really hard. Not the subject matter,,,,but realizing that you had a lot in common with the poster.....cause it was you!!! he he.

Robin

Karmageddon (n):

It's, like,

when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right?

And then, like,

the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer!

From: rushen janice <jrushen@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: ever feel like every thing going wrong Date: Saturday, February 12, 2011, 4:24 PM

OMG...I was reading the post and said wow...this sounds just like my son.....when I got to the end of it I realized I was the one who wrote it....LOL. I guess I wrote it a while ago and forgot.

Teens years are really hard ....can't wait for them to be over...

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Catcelia <c2cats@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 10:56:15 AMSubject: ( ) Re: ever feel like every thing going wrong

Great list Jan. My son is 15 too. I think that middle school was the worst. My son has a lot of the accomodations that you mention in your list but doesn't need them as much now as he did in his earlier school years. One thing that I started doing is at the beginning of the semester is to send each of his teachers an email with a short history of my son along with comments about his strengths and weaknesses. I started doing this when after being horrified about how one of my son's teachers spoke about him (not by name) at an open house. It was like she thought that he was just filling up space. (Why do so many teachers think that spec ed kids aren't smart?! Drives me crazy!) I think that my note helps the teachers understand my son a bit better and helps them teach him more effectively.One more thing I advise to do is to list all of your wants for the IEP in a bullet list form. Bring it to the meeting and go through and check things

off as you deal with them. When I was dealing with a difficult school district and was heading to mediation our lawyer advised us to do this so that the list could basically become the agenda for the mediation. The lawyer also advised to have a few items on the list that you were willing to compromise on so that you looked like you are willing to work with the school. He advised to review the list prior to the meeting and decide which items on our list were must haves, nice to haves and throwaways. Deciding before the meeting keeps you focused on what you need to fight for if necessary. Having the list at IEP meetings and mediation meetings worked well. Caroline>>

,> > You are not alone...beleive me.Ã‚ There are so many of us here.Ã‚ My son was dx > with ADHD in 3rd grade and the PDD NOS in the beginning of 6th and by Dec. of > that year it became Asperger's ....I haveÃ‚ been on the roller coaster so many > times...ups and downs and twists and turns...I have been at points in my life > that I felt I need to be on the 6thÃ‚ floor of the hospital...and so low that I > could not even get out of bed.Ã‚ But, just lately these past 2 years > ...thingsÃ‚ have evened out a bit at school.Ã‚ My son is 15 and right now we are > dealing with HORMONES and TEEN things...he doesn't want to talk to us...he hangs > in his room...it is almost like I don't have a child.Ã‚ And, if I do try to talk > to him ...he BARKS at us.Ã‚ I can not wait for this stage to be over.> > My best

suggestion is read as much material as you can.Ã‚ GoÃ‚ to s Law and > read and read and read.Ã‚ Get one of their booksÃ‚ on IEP's.Ã‚ Find out as much as > you can.Ã‚ And, when you go to an IEP meeting...if you need to...take someone > with you.Ã‚ Don't sign anything there...tell them you want to look it over at > home. ReviewÃ‚ it.Ã‚ Ã‚ Tell the teachers and staff what difficulties your child is > having....such as Loud Noises, writing, taking notes, sensory problems, > processing problems, reading problems...comprehension,.....etc.Ã‚ ect.Ã‚ Ask > them...what do youÃ‚ suggest???? What accommodations are available and what do you > think will help my child?Ã‚ Don't go in like the devil's advocate...that will > only putÃ‚ them on the defensive...try to work with the teachers...ask them for >

suggestions ...if you know what your child needs...lead themÃ‚ in that direction > but let them come out and say it...> > WhatÃ‚ accommodations?> 1. seating placement...front/or back> 2. extended time to take tests> 3. study guides for tests> 4. copy of all the class notes> 5.Ã‚ copy of all the books at home> 6. tests read to them> 7. re-wording of directions> 8. projectsÃ‚ broken down into smaller chunks.> 9. Re-testing when child fails aÃ‚ test> 10 Modified tests?> 11 Small, quiter setting for tests> 12. Ability to take a sensory break> 13 Speech> 14Ã‚ OT> 15 Adapted Gym> 16 Ability to go toÃ‚ guidance when needed or as needed> > > There are a lot of accommodations that can be made....let the teachers know what > your childÃ‚ strugglesÃ‚ with, how

she learns (visually or auditory).Ã‚ what you > believe will help. > > > This is would be my recommendation....try to work with the school first...> > Jan> Ã‚ > "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity"Ã‚ Ã‚ Ã‚ Albert Einstein> Ã‚ > Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome > to obtain that position> > > > > ________________________________> From: Weiss <cindyjonesweiss@...>> > Sent: Wed, January 5, 2011 9:56:33 AM> Subject: Re: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong> > Ã‚ >

> Thanks, Jan.Ã‚ This is a new experience for me and it's hard to figure out how to > fit in, even on-line!Ã‚ I already feel much relief reading other people's > stories.Ã‚ I don't wish hardships on others it's just nice to know we're not > alone.> >

February 13, 2011

i feel that way also like were crazy they should live in our shoes for a few days

From: <denise092769@...>Subject: ( ) ever feel like every thing going wrong Date: Saturday, February 12, 2011, 3:02 AM

this week was so bad.why does it have to be this hard.ever feel like you can't take it anymore.some days i feel this way.I just wish to have one perfect day where i dont have to deal with meltdowns and drama . I guess thats too much to ask dont mind me just such a bad week

Don't be flakey. Get for Mobile and always stay connected to friends.

February 13, 2011

thanks everyone for writing and all the hugs happy valentines day to everyone