Re: How do you handle the obsessions?

[Guest guest]

he may need to express himself through creative play. first is through toys and advanced play is pretending to be the hero. Unfortuanetly some of those heroes play meanly so you can try to play with him and teach nicer games like saving kittens from trees or helping a person who fell down in the street get out of the way before a car hits them. From: <kelly7278@...>Subject: ( ) How do you handle the obsessions? Date: Friday, August 20, 2010, 4:37 PM

Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've "banned" super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

Don’t ban it. Give him a safe space to express it. For example, it’s okay to be the Joker at home around Mom and Dad, but not at day camp. Try to redirect it in a constructive way. Does he draw? Maybe he can make Batman comics. OR maybe he likes to build? Help him build a model Batmobile out of Legos or something.

On 8/20/10 8:59 PM, " Christiansen " <cathychristiansen84@...> wrote:

he may need to express himself through creative play. first is through toys and advanced play is pretending to be the hero. Unfortuanetly some of those heroes play meanly so you can try to play with him and teach nicer games like saving kittens from trees or helping a person who fell down in the street get out of the way before a car hits them.

From: <kelly7278@...>

Subject: ( ) How do you handle the obsessions?

Date: Friday, August 20, 2010, 4:37 PM

Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

My son obsesses over things as well. Right now, he goes through spells of being

a cat, especially when he is stressed. We had company over the other day, and it

was loud and he got so over stemulated that he started being a cat and he had a

VERY panicked look on his face. I had to take him out of the room and he

couldn't come out of it until he had calmed down. Then it was like he flipped

the cat switch off and came back to being himself. Very odd thing to see, and

kind of freaked me out a little.

I have noticed him doing this, pretending to be a cat, but I didn't realize WHY

he was doing it, and that he was doing it as a reaction to stress or anxiety.

Good luck in finding out what causes his obsessions to heighten.

Ashton

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The

objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero

or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.).

Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went

from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman

(hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Ashton,

How old is your son? My guy is just about 3 years old (later this week) and he

often pretends to be a baby cat. There is lots of meowing and cuddling when the

" cat " comes around, so it is generally a welcome thing. He does a really loud

meow that alarms people who are not familiar with it, although it is usually a

happy sound.

Bridget

> >

> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The

objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero

or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.).

Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went

from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman

(hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Each episode is 8-10 minutes long...so entire 'movie' with songs, etc. is 46

minutes. Some of the real full length features are an hour.

~ P.

> >>>> >

> >>>> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things.

> >>>> The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of

> >>>> super hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights

> >>>> dragons, etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level

of

> >>>> concern as he went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually

> >>>> acting like he was Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he

claimed

> >>>> to be the Joker). We've " banned " super heroes and fighters as a play

option

> >>>> but it's been over two weeks now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me

> >>>> with how to handle this!

> >>>> >

> >>>> > Thanks,

> >>>> >

> >>>> >

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I don't want to take the toys or books away from him. I just don't know what to

do about the movies/videos. When he watches it too often it starts to pervade

all of his thoughts. He used to use a huge amount of echolalia - communicating

would either be directly repeating what was said to him or he would repeat

phrases from books or movies. He did use those phrases uniquely and often

appropriately, but they were not original thought invented on his own.

Sometimes even humourously " Bust my buffers " when something didn't go as

planned. I agree that liking is age appropriate (our 2yr old NT DS loves

it also), I just don't want Tyler reverting back. He is actually creating his

own stories when playing with his trains now.

I think after reading all of your feedback I will let him watch his choice of

video/movie twice a week. We are starting a 3 day a week preschool this year

which he is really excited about. Thinking I will let the days be the 2 off

days from school as something to look forward too when he will be a little

bummed about there being no school.

Thanks everyone!

~ P.

> >

> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The

objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero

or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.).

Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went

from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman

(hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> >

>

>  

>    

>

[Guest guest]

This is so true! When I was around 12 or 13, I loved playing with my younger

neighbor because she was still young enough to play Barbies. If I had not been

embarrassed to like them at that age, I definitely would have kept playing with

them with my peers.

Bridget

>

> >

>

> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The

objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero

or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.).

Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went

from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman

(hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> >

>

> > Thanks,

>

> >

>

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

I don't have much advice for you except to offer that in the range of

obsessions, at least is a socially common interest for that age group.

My son went through a brief but intense fascination with the crucifixion of all

things and boy, was that hard to manage. It's good to have a sense of humor if

you can.

Your statement about your son's extremely emotional response [tearing up] really

resonated with me. One of the things I noticed about my son (prediagnosis) that

struck me was how he could be listening to a song in the car and just become

overwhelmed with emotion listening to it...uncharacteristically emotional for

him. It was fascinating and I wonder if it is common with ASD -- I haven't read

anything about this response.

[Guest guest]

Ya know, I just feel that they are who they are and if you take one obsession

away, they will find another. My son gets really into various things. Star

wars has been the big one for a while now. And he does get very much in his own

little world and goes around the house fighting imaginary battle droids with his

imaginary lightsaber. That's just Noah. And yes, he likes to watch the movies

over and over. I have never tried to take any of his obsessions away besides

limiting tv and video game time for health reasons. I do feel if I had taken

his star wars stuff away, he would have found something else.

My youngest son who is being " watched " for autism (he's a lot like big

brother)is 17 months old now and likes to find something small to carry around.

Kind of a baby-obsession I think. He will find a small ping-pong ball or cap to

something and carry it around. He will show it too us and grunt and keep

carrying it around walking in a circle. We try to take it away as he has better

social interactions when he is not carrying something, but he will throw a huge

fit and when he is over it, he just finds something else similar to carry. I

kind of think that's what my eldest would do too, only his obsessions are more

complicated. FYI I have decided to just let my little one have his ping-pong

ball and quit worrying that it isn't " normal " . He is who he is after all.

> >

> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The

objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero

or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.).

Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went

from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman

(hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> >

>

>  

>    

>

[Guest guest]

Haha, I played with barbies at that age too with my younger cousin and loved it.

I also would dig in the sandbox and make giant castles with my little brothers.

I even remember totaling a refrigerator box with them at about that age by

flipping it over and over while inside with my little brothers. Sure I knew it

wasn't age appropriate and prayed kids from school wouldn't see me doing it but

man was it fun and some of my best memories.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things.

The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super

hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons,

etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he

went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was

Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Thanks,

> >

> > >

> >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

yes, and extroverted and affectionate aspies exist too. The extroverted ones

want to be around people, but are frustrated by their poor social skills. The

very affectionate ones may be taken advantage of sexually (I read a memoir of an

woman like this)

Miranda

> >

> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The

objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero

or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.).

Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went

from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman

(hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My 7 year has now come to the understanding that not everyone is

interested/passionate/obsessed with trains like he is. I explained to him that

we all have different interests and we had some very good conversations about

it.

I try to broaden his interests, but don't try to turn him off trains (nor do I

go out of my way to encourage it)

And his father is even able to make a small joke without him getting really

upset (like when sees a program on TV featuring trains, he's said, " oh, no...not

another train...who in the world would like trains? "

Miranda

> As for adults collecting toys, that is not the same thing either. Collecting

toys is not the same thing as playing obsessively with a specific toy to the

exclusion of all else nor is it comparable to a kid who can't talk about

anything except Sponge Bob or the Tank Engine, long past anyone even

listening or caring. These are real problems that should be addressed as soon

as possible so that they can learn and eventually live and work in society.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

When I was a 12 year old girl back in the '80s, girls with boyfriends were

definitely the exception, not the norm. My child is a boy, but when I shop for

clothes, I am astonished at how inappropriate a lot of the clothing for young

girls is. Alarming, to say the least!

Bridget

> >

> > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The

objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero

or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.).

Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went

from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman

(hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> >

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[Guest guest]

Hi Bridget,

My son is 6 as of today 9/11.

It was cute until I realized why he was doing it. Now I know that when he

starts, it's time to take him out of the situation where the noise/commotion is

less until he stops.

Ashton

> > >

> > > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things.

The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super

hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons,

etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he

went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was

Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> > >

> > > Thanks,

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My 5yo daughter is the same except it rotates between dinosaurs and Bakugan. It

can really drive me nutso sometimes! We have to play with dinosaur toys, read

dino books, watch dino dvds and draw dinos. She talks about them w everyone she

can and even quizzes me!! She has gotten beaten up at a public play place

because she was pretending to be a dinosaur and going after some kids. I have to

tell her that kids don't like to be growled at and told that she will " kill

them. " (as a dinosaur)

She just started Kindergarten and I'm not sure how it's going although she

complained that there was only ONE dinosaur book in the class and one day she

didn't have time to finish the dinosaur puzzle and she came home very stressed.

Took a lot of prodding but finally she broke down and sobbed and told me about

it. Breaks your heart that your child could get so upset over something like

that.

But, at home, she is safe to go dino-crazy. I set limits when she starts going

off on it with other adults. I tell her " that's enough about dinosaurs for now,

let's talk about something else. "

Jen H

>

> Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things. The

objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super hero

or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons, etc.).

Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he went

from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was Batman

(hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Generally I restrict the obsessions somewhat, and use the obsessions to

reward/reinforce the behaviors I want.

> > >

> > > Like most kids with Asperger's, my son obsesses over one or two things.

The objects of his obsessions rotate but generally involve some sort of super

hero or fighter (police man who shoots bad guys, knight who fights dragons,

etc.). Over the summer his Batman obsession reached a new level of concern as he

went from talking and playing Batman constantly to actually acting like he was

Batman (hitting a kid at summer camp because he claimed to be the Joker). We've

" banned " super heroes and fighters as a play option but it's been over two weeks

now and still it's a daily struggle. Help me with how to handle this!

> > >

> > > Thanks,

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>