For Zahra - Tiolet training that worked for our son....

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Our son just started having bowel movements on the toilet a few months ago. He is 4.5yrs old. I really had to work with him. I started reading a book to him called "Everyone Poops" by Taro Gomi. It may be too young for your son, but it shows various animals going "poop" and different places. Then it shows an child going in the potty, a baby in diapers, and an adult on the potty. I just looked on amazon.com and they have several different books on the subject to read to the child. One with good reviews for the age group 4-8 is "It Hurts When I Poop! A Story for Children who are Scared to use the Potty" by J. M.D. (I often check out reviews on amazon before buying)

Then every time he went in his pull-ups I would have him come with me and dump it into the toilet. Telling him, "this is where the poo-poo goes" and having HIM flush it down. I did this for about a week and a half, when he had started telling me we had to go flush it down the toilet when I asked him what step was next.

His obsession right now is still the Train so I used that to get him motivated at first. I bought a few trains and told him he could have one of them if he went poo-poo in the potty. I reminded him each day that he could have one if he went in the potty for about 3 days. Then I saw him hiding around the corner in THE crouch position getting ready to go and told him, " You can have ROCKY right now if you go in and put it in the potty." After ushering him in I had to give him a book to look at while he went (one with the trains and Rocky in it). He did his first bowel movement that way.

I did it again with 2 more trains, but I had to catch him crouched down, he didn't go in on his own.

The trains can get expensive, so I opted for treats as a reward. He loves cupcakes or cake-like goodies. We rarely let him eat sweets, so when I told him he could have one if he went in the potty he was very excited. After about 4 days he was going in on his own. He would have to read something for about the first 2 weeks. I would put the step stool under his feet so his legs wouldn't go to sleep.

Now he goes every day on his own, and sometimes twice a day. I still have to help him wipe so he tells me when he has went (we're working on that).

We made a BIG deal out of each success along the way. I would give him hug kudos and 'good job', then have him tell Daddy when he came home from work, and have him call Grandma and Grandpa (my parents) and tell them. So each time he was rewarded by the family members closest to him.

Also using a reward chart might help your son. We didn't have one at the time, but we use one now for a variety of things and my son really enjoys it. You can make your own and use stickers or cut and paste and let him glue on his own.

SORRY for the length, I get really wordy in my messages! I hope some of this helps you. It is SOOO hard.

~ P.

From: Lori <lori.hayes6@...>Subject: Re: ( ) how to build frustration tolerance for young child (4-5yo)? Date: Wednesday, August 25, 2010, 11:15 PM

What I've done is try to prepare my daughter (now 8) for any possibilities - I've become her "forward thinker"...thinking in advance for her for any alternative things that could happen...It lessens their frustrations by just preparing them for the "what ifs". I have the school doing this also - when there will be a sub, when there will be special things like an assembly, etc.

( ) how to build frustration tolerance for young child (4-5yo)?

Anyone have ideas on helping your young child (4-5yo) build frustration tolerance, for when things don't go his way, when he's asked to do something he does not prefer, etc?Thanks,

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