Re: My son is afraid to be alone at bedtime....

[Guest guest]

I am going through the same thing right now with my 9yr old. My

son has always needed a light, which I’m completely ok with. The other night, I

was trying to get his younger brother to bed, and he wanted me to sit with him

while he fell asleep… I tried to tell him I couldn’t right now, because I

needed to get his little brother ready for bed, etc… and he looked at me and

said “But Mom, your love is like magic to me.”… LOL !! I couldn’t say no… that

night he slept through the night for the first time in almost a month (he’s

struggling with night waking and nightmares lately).

I am wondering if it’s partly a normal developmental thing for

kids this age, exacerbated by our boys AS??? I’ll look forward to others

responses, just know you’re not alone !!

=)

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of bucaroobonzai2003

Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 9:48 AM

Subject: ( ) My son is afraid to be alone at bedtime....

My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and

lately he has become horrible about needing someone in his bedroom while he

falls asleep. Any suggestions?

-

[Guest guest]

We've had the opposite happen lately... Until recently my son has always needed a light on near his room to fall asleep.. He's 8 now and in the last few weeks - though still needs the light on - he's taken to saying goodnight and going to sleep on his own... We used to have an extensive routine with tucking in - drinks - etc.We've become much clearer lately in setting limits - 8:00-8:30, tv time; 8:30-9:00pm quiet time and 9:00pm bedtime. The clearer and stricter we are, the more willing he seems to be to comply.I think some is just typical of all kids and I know for my son he has anxiety and this can become present at night when he reflects on the day or what's to come the next day. So while we are going through a good few weeks right now - I'm sure the next stressful situation might lead to more bedtime

issues. On Jan 16, 2010, at 9:51 AM, O'Brien <nicole.obrien@...> wrote:

I am going through the same thing right now with my 9yr old. My

son has always needed a light, which I’m completely ok with. The other night, I

was trying to get his younger brother to bed, and he wanted me to sit with him

while he fell asleep… I tried to tell him I couldn’t right now, because I

needed to get his little brother ready for bed, etc… and he looked at me and

said “But Mom, your love is like magic to me.â€â€¦ LOL !! I couldn’t say no… that

night he slept through the night for the first time in almost a month (he’s

struggling with night waking and nightmares lately).

I am wondering if it’s partly a normal developmental thing for

kids this age, exacerbated by our boys AS??? I’ll look forward to others

responses, just know you’re not alone !!

=)

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of bucaroobonzai2003

Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 9:48 AM

Subject: ( ) My son is afraid to be alone at bedtime....

My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and

lately he has become horrible about needing someone in his bedroom while he

falls asleep. Any suggestions?

-

[Guest guest]

Has something happened lately to make him afraid? Did he watch a scary movie? Or read something? Or has another child said something to make him afraid? Have you asked your son what he is afraid of? Be sure to talk to him ...find out why.

Keep the night light on...my son is 14 and still sleeps with the night light on. He probably will for the rest of his life.

Does your son have a favorite stuffed toy or blanket...something he can sleep with? It may make him feel safer...more comfortable...

At night make sure he relaxes and read him a good ending story...tell him you are right there if he needs you but that he is safe..

Another thing you might want to do is get one of those baby monitors...and tell him that you are keeping an eye on him that way...it might make him feel safer.

Try to break him of it now before he gets older...

Jan

<font face="arial black" color="#bf00bf">Janice Rushen</font>

<font face="Arial Black" color="#bf00bf"></font> & nbsp;

<em><font face="Arial Black" color="#7f007f">"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"</font></em>

From: bucaroobonzai2003 <ssernaker@...> Sent: Sat, January 16, 2010 8:17:56 AMSubject: ( ) My son is afraid to be alone at bedtime....

My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and lately he has become horrible about needing someone in his bedroom while he falls asleep. Any suggestions?-

[Guest guest]

This always seems a bit controversial,,,,but I say,,,,,,give him what he needs.

We always let our kids in our bed when they wanted. I could never sleep in their bed....ugh.

My husband did, sometimes. I never had them sleep with a light.........figured it would keep them up?

Anyway,,,,I guess I look at it as,,,,if they are fearful of something.....which our kids are,,,,they feel it more at night. They're alone, ya know?

Every emotion seems to be magnified at night.Most of "our" kids stuggle during the day, and I always assumed that at night, at home, is when they should feel calm and secure. So,,,,if you ask me,,,,,,,let him come on in with you and talk about things. Anything. Or,,,,go in there with him. Calmly and as an act of compassion. No questions asked.

Everyone ends up growing up and wanting their own space eventually..Good luck.

Robin

From: bucaroobonzai2003 <ssernaker@...>Subject: ( ) My son is afraid to be alone at bedtime..... Date: Saturday, January 16, 2010, 7:17 AM

My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and lately he has become horrible about needing someone in his bedroom while he falls asleep. Any suggestions?-

[Guest guest]

My daughter sleeps better in a very small room. We moved her bedroom

to a small room and got her a bunk bed so it felt more enclosed.

This was one thing we did to help. She was also very anxious

at night and zoloft also helped alot. It would not have been enough the

smaller enclosed room alone.

She is 12 and now wants to sleep in her room. She is still sometimes

uncomfortable at her cousins for a sleepover.

Pam

>

> My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and lately he has become horrible

about needing someone in his bedroom while he falls asleep. Any suggestions?

>

> -

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all the help everyone. I'll try to incorporate some of the ideas. A

while back some kid at school told him the 'bloody mary' story, and apparently

that is what he is afraid of. He had been in the same bedroom with his sister

until about a month ago, so he is adjusting to his own room, but we have a small

house and his room is right next to ours.

-

>

> Has something happened lately to make him afraid? Did he watch a scary movie?

Or read something? Or has another child said something to make him afraid?

Have you asked your son what he is afraid of? Be sure to talk to him ...find out

why.

>

> Keep the night light on...my son is 14 and still sleeps with the night light

on. He probably will for the rest of his life.

>

> Does your son have a favorite stuffed toy or blanket...something he can sleep

with? It may make him feel safer...more comfortable...

>

> At night make sure he relaxes and read him a good ending story...tell him you

are right there if he needs you but that he is safe..

>

> Another thing you might want to do is get one of those baby monitors...and

tell him that you are keeping an eye on him that way...it might make him feel

safer.

>

> Try to break him of it now before he gets older...

>

> Jan

>  

> <font face= " arial black " color= " #bf00bf " >Janice Rushen</font>

> <font face= " Arial Black " color= " #bf00bf " ></font> & nbsp;

> <em><font face= " Arial Black " color= " #7f007f " > " I will try to be open to all

avenues of wisdom and hope " </font></em>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: bucaroobonzai2003 <ssernaker@...>

>

> Sent: Sat, January 16, 2010 8:17:56 AM

> Subject: ( ) My son is afraid to be alone at bedtime....

>

>  

> My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and lately he has become horrible

about needing someone in his bedroom while he falls asleep. Any suggestions?

>

> -

>

[Guest guest]

How sweet is that.

But Mom, your love is like magic to me.â€â€¦ LOL !! I couldn’t say no… that night he slept through the night for the first time in almost a month (he’s struggling with night waking and nightmares lately).

[Guest guest]

On Sep 13, 10:09pm, " bucaroobonzai2003 " wrote:

}

} My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and lately he has become horrib=

} le about needing someone in his bedroom while he falls asleep. Any suggest=

} ions?

Listening to the radio used to work for me. My son has a clock CD

player now and a special CD of " soothy music " .

Willa

[Guest guest]

My son (6) was like this for a long time, bedtime was sitting with him for as long as it took, and frequent nights in our bed. He seemed to be genuinely afraid of something, I can't remember when, but at some point about 2 years ago I desided bedtime was going to be 8.30pm every night, a story and bedroom light off, but landing light on. It took a lot of patience and maybe a month of perservering, but now he puts up hardly any protest and is always asleep by 9pm. I think the key is routine and firm rules. I'm also careful about what book at bedtime, so nothing with potentially scarey monsters etc.

From: bucaroobonzai2003 <ssernaker@...>Subject: ( ) My son is afraid to be alone at bedtime..... Date: Saturday, 16 January, 2010, 13:17

My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and lately he has become horrible about needing someone in his bedroom while he falls asleep. Any suggestions?-

[Guest guest]

Funny how our kids can be way off in social situations, but know how and when to deliver that killer line that will hit you right in the heart and you cannot say no. You love is magic, thats a beauty.

From: O'Brien <nicole.obrien@...>Subject: RE: ( ) My son is afraid to be alone at bedtime.... Date: Saturday, 16 January, 2010, 14:51

I am going through the same thing right now with my 9yr old. My son has always needed a light, which I’m completely ok with. The other night, I was trying to get his younger brother to bed, and he wanted me to sit with him while he fell asleep… I tried to tell him I couldn’t right now, because I needed to get his little brother ready for bed, etc… and he looked at me and said “But Mom, your love is like magic to me.â€â€¦ LOL !! I couldn’t say no… that night he slept through the night for the first time in almost a month (he’s struggling with night waking and nightmares lately).

I am wondering if it’s partly a normal developmental thing for kids this age, exacerbated by our boys AS??? I’ll look forward to others responses, just know you’re not alone !!

=)

From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of bucaroobonzai2003Sent: Saturday, January 16, 2010 9:48 AM Subject: ( ) My son is afraid to be alone at bedtime....

My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and lately he has become horrible about needing someone in his bedroom while he falls asleep. Any suggestions?-

[Guest guest]

My son is only 6 but we discovered a year ago that the key to him staying in bed

was to have him share a room with his sister and they have a dimmer lamp for a

night light. We used to find him sleeping on the floor in the hall just to be

out of his room. We ended up moving and he had to share a room and he has slept

fine since.

>

> My 8 year old son needs a light on at night and lately he has become horrible

about needing someone in his bedroom while he falls asleep. Any suggestions?

>

> -

>