Re: 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE

[Guest guest]

I would suggest you go a different route and take him to see someone who deals with learning disabilities. There are various places out there and private companies as well. I don't know what is reputable in your area, so you'll have to investigate options. Taking meds or seeing a doctor isn't really going to improve his processing speed or any other significant learning disabilities that he is dealing with. They can do testing and figure out where he needs specific help, then help him. When he can then go back to school and have some successes, it will be worth his while, I'm sure. I mean, I wouldn't want to go and fail everyday. If he's done this for years, it is certainly depressing and I would see why he would give up. Older kids can be taught to read better and really, they know so much about dyslexia these days. So they can really zero in on his core deficits and help him improve his reading skills. Reading skills are basic and so important. And the problems these kids have in addition to "just" the reading delays can be well hidden but serious to their ability to advance in their education.

So I would suggest a learning disabilities specialist and therapy towards that end. The rest is life quality really. I mean, if he feels he can't concentrate enough to be successful, then he will want to see a doc for meds to that end. If he works hard and is still severely depressed despite success, it might be worth his while then to see a doc or therapist for depression. But it can be hard to tell whether the depression is a stand alone problem or because of always struggling with failure and learning problems. He will have to figure it out. I have a 21 yo (hfa) and I can't "make" him see a doc or take meds. He's a grown man now. But we discuss things and I make suggestions. Usually if I let him think things over a while, he makes up his mind. Sometimes he's been known to change his mind as well - hey, it can happen. <g>

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE

Hi everyone!

Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise.

Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatrists psychologist etc. And has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6 counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every RX for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder. He has had severve side effects from many meds and he states he feels like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early this year.

He is considered a

genuis but can not read and understand his college textbooks. He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing speed is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to him having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1 so called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not attempt to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support group for advise or meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he is Aspie etc.

Any advise would be helpful.

We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around this area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have tried before.

Also, does meet-ups

have programs activities for young adults in this area? I will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept any advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would just ignore their request.

We are becoming very desperate about the best for his future. Thx for advise.

Regards,

Mark

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Is he a high achiever?I give him credit for taking classes. Has he tried yoga, massage therapy or music therapy?

Is it possible he might be afraid of the interaction with college kids rather than his classes? Most colleges has special programs for special need students and some colleges has been very successful with special students. I understand the issues that comes with disclosing being an aspie. My daughter was called names at school when she disclosed being an aspie. so I order the book : Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome by Liane Holliday Willey.

I am using a different approach with my aspie daughther, I do not care too much about socialization, I tell her:

1. It is ok to be different...Be proud to be different.

2. You do not have to have a bunch of friends, you just need one friend.

3. People learn in different ways, so it is ok to be slow learner...

He has to find himself and be happy with himself. Most succesful people I know are not normal...

Looks to me that you son is on need of very strong support (medical and psycological). Isolating himself for 22 hours is definite a big problem, I hope he will be safe....it could be depresssion and needs prompt attention...

I hope things get better for you and your family......

( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISEHi everyone!Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise.Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatristspsychologist etc. And has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6 counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every RX for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder. He has had severve side effects from many meds and he states he feels like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early this year.He is considered a genuis but can not read and understand his college textbooks. He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing speed is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to him having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1 so called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not attempt to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support group for advise or meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he is Aspie etc.Any advise would be helpful.We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around this area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have tried before.Also, does meet-ups have programs activities for young adults in this area? I will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept any advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would just ignore their request.We are becoming very desperate about the best for his future. Thx for advise.Regards,Mark

[Guest guest]

Mark,

Well my family is just starting its journey with Asperger's Syndrome (son 6yrs old). I can speak on from the limited experience we have had. Your son is way beyond anything I've ever had to deal with. With all those deficits (ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder) I think he is just simply overwhelmed and he is certainly depressed. I think he probably needs to back way up and reboot.

You might try getting him out of community college and just address the reading issue by itself. I would FORCE him to exercise twice a day. Maybe a warm up in the morning and then something more intense in the late afternoon. Exercise will help balance his harmones, help with the anxiety, and help with any sensory issues he has. If he isn't coordinated than you've got to start slow teaching movement by movement. If he has any chronic sickness you've got to get rid of that as well. He needs to get his confidence back. Its so easy even for normal people to quit when the going gets tough. Now imagine if for the normal Aspie its 10x harder. For your son it might be 100 times harder.

Our son has had lots of coordination issues and many of the typical Aspie syndromes. HE is very mild to begin with. But I have found that i simply have to force him to try things. Once he makes an achievement or a positive step it gets easier but I keep nudging until he masters something. Then we move on to the next thing. But I have to force him until he gets the the idea that HE CAN DO IT. So for example perhaps after a year or two and he has become a more accomplished reader you can start him back in school. Perhaps start with a correspondance course. So he doesn't have to deal with the social issues, anxiety, and noise all at the same time. I guess I'm just thinking he needs to go back to the beginning and take some baby steps.

So maybe you dedicate 10 minutes to reading everyday and eventually work that up to an hour. The same would go for the exercise but you might start out at 20 minutes. If he hasn't tried occupational therapy you might try that too. They can help with handwriting, coordination, and other sensory diet issues.

I can see why he would be depresses. He must be a good boy if he hasn't gotten himself hooked on some kind of drugs, alchohol, etc...

You may have tried all this already I don't know. I'm just trying to help and I have very little experience and none with issues that large.

And you know your son might just be right about all the medications. I really don't know but if you go to defeat Autism Now's website the psych drugs are hit or miss in their surveys. I would try putting him on a daily vitamin, 1g of vitamin C a day, and one Omega 3 a day and see if over a period of a month it helps any.

What I don't think you can afford to do is let him sit in his room all day. I think Asperger's is a lot like Dementia for old people. For old people they retire and they don't use it and then they lose it. For Aspies I think its a lot like they never use it so they never develop the skills. This goes for coordination, social issues, concentration, etc... We've seen remarkable gains in coordination with our son. His reflexes and quickness aren't on par yet but we've been able to get him almost on par with his peers in many coordination and athletic skills. But he has to practice 10 more before he gets them. Still can't swim. But now he can self propell on a swing and he couldn't do that last year. He can even run and make cuts without tripping which he used to do often just running in a straight line. He can color in the lines now. The list goes on and on. But he had

to work 10 times harder. His younger brother who is 4 just does them.

So maybe you need to expect more of him in TERMS OF working to make PROGRESS. But demand less in terms of HIGH LEVEL SKILLS. Think of it in terms of the tortouis and the rabbit. Your son may not be a rabbit. Don't ask him to be a rabbit. But dog gone it he is a tortouise expect him to work hard like a tortouise. Eventually he can get to the same place in life. He might be 30 but if you can get him there he can become independent and self sufficient.

I hope all the best for your family. I can't imagine how hard its been being undiagnosed all that time.

From: Mark Calvert <tustinmark1956@...>Subject: ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE Cc: tustinmark1956@...Date: Thursday, October 7, 2010, 1:28 PM

Hi everyone!

Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise.

Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatrists psychologist etc. And has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6 counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every RX for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder. He has had severve side effects from many meds and he states he feels like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early this year.

He is considered a genuis but can not read and understand his college textbooks. He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing speed is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to him having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1 so called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not attempt to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support group for advise or meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he is Aspie etc.

Any advise would be helpful.

We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around this area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have tried before.

Also, does meet-ups have programs activities for young adults in this area? I will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept any advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would just ignore their request.

We are becoming very desperate about the best for his future. Thx for advise.

Regards,

Mark

[Guest guest]

Dear Mark,

I do not have any answers...but will keep you and your son in my prayers. This is exactly what I am afraid of for my son. He sounds just like your son. Don't give up. Try social services.....OVR...just keep trying.....Does your son get SSI?

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Mark Calvert <tustinmark1956@...> Cc: tustinmark1956@...Sent: Thu, October 7, 2010 1:28:35 PMSubject: ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE

Hi everyone!

Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise.

Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatrists psychologist etc. And has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6 counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every RX for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder. He has had severve side effects from many meds and he states he feels like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early this year.

He is considered a genuis but can not read and understand his college textbooks. He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing speed is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to him having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1 so called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not attempt to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support group for advise or meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he is Aspie etc.

Any advise would be helpful.

We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around this area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have tried before.

Also, does meet-ups have programs activities for young adults in this area? I will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept any advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would just ignore their request.

We are becoming very desperate about the best for his future. Thx for advise.

Regards,

Mark

[Guest guest]

Hi Mark, no suggestions yet on motivating him, but was wondering if he would

maybe try a supplement? Your description just made me think of a product

another parent (in another group) tried for her teenage son and said it really

helped " connect him " with what she felt were processing issues. It's Neuro

Optimizer by Jarrow. I found this site for you, so you can read the customer

reviews on the product (hope link works):

http://www.iherb.com/Jarrow-Formulas-Neuro-Optimizer-CDP-Choline-120-Capsules/35\

0?at=1

Has it been a while since he's tried prescription medications or is just now

stopping some?

>

> Hi everyone!

>

> Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise.

>

> Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatristspsychologist etc. And

> has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6

> counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every

RX

> for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading

>

[Guest guest]

Hi!Thx for your excellent suggestions.Yes, he has phobias of being out in public. We give him Kudos for going to class. He has signed up for Disabled student center but refused to avail himself of their services ie note takers, books on CD'S (he is auditory learner) Since he is adult he has to be involved in his care. He is a gifted student.He has not tried the therapy's you mentioned but I will suggest them to him.I will order book you mention.We worried about depression but he stated he was not and testing revealed he had decided he preferred to keep his own company. He did have numerous friends in High School, but these kids are moving on and he sees

himself not performing as easily as others.We are taking a new approach and we will contact University and/or Children's Hospital and see specialist on increasing cognitive speed etc. I'm sure they have seen numerous patients with similar problems. I've explained it's OK to continue college after we find assistance, he is still young..Sounds like you have great system for your daughter. If he was younger we would be able to use this system. But he was able to hide his condition due to his IQ.Once again thx for insightsMark From: "tfitzge134@..." <tfitzge134@...> Sent: Thu, October 7, 2010 12:54:53 PMSubject: Re: ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE Hi, Is he a high achiever?I give him credit for taking classes. Has he tried yoga, massage therapy or music therapy? Is it possible he might be afraid of the interaction with college kids rather than his classes? Most

colleges has special programs for special need students and some colleges has been very successful with special students. I understand the issues that comes with disclosing being an aspie. My daughter was called names at school when she disclosed being an aspie. so I order the book : Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome by Liane Holliday Willey. I am using a different approach with my aspie daughther, I do not care too much about socialization, I tell her: 1. It is ok to be different...Be proud to be different. 2. You do not have to have a bunch of friends, you just need one friend. 3. People learn in different ways, so it is ok to be slow learner... He has to find himself and be happy with himself. Most succesful people I know are not normal... Looks to me that you son is on need of very strong support (medical and psycological). Isolating

himself for 22 hours is definite a big problem, I hope he will be safe....it could be depresssion and needs prompt attention... I hope things get better for you and your family...... ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISEHi everyone!Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise.Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatristspsychologist etc. And has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6 counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every RX for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder. He has had

severve side effects from many meds and he states he feels like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early this year.He is considered a genuis but can not read and understand his college textbooks. He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing speed is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to him having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1 so called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not attempt to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support group for advise or meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he is Aspie

etc.Any advise would be helpful.We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around this area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have tried before.Also, does meet-ups have programs activities for young adults in this area? I will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept any advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would just ignore their request.We are becoming very desperate about the best for his future. Thx for advise.Regards,Mark

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan!Thx. will also keep your family in our prayers. Hopefully, your son is more open and willing to involve parents in his care. I'm sure if we could have started behavioral modification program therapy, social skills etc earlier we would have had better outcome. Everyone just kept telling us it was just him trying to be independent or being a teenager. We knew different since 4th or 6th grade.He has agreed to see a physician at the University here for his cognitive speed etc. We and he still remain hopeful.Regards,MarkFrom: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Thu, October 7, 2010 4:42:41 PMSubject: Re: ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE Dear Mark, I do not have any answers...but will keep you and your son

in my prayers. This is exactly what I am afraid of for my son. He sounds just like your son. Don't give up. Try social services.....OVR...just keep trying.....Does your son get SSI? Jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Mark Calvert <tustinmark1956@...> Cc: tustinmark1956@...Sent: Thu, October 7, 2010 1:28:35 PMSubject: ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE Hi everyone! Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise. Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatrists psychologist etc. And has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6 counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every RX for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder. He has

had severve side effects from many meds and he states he feels like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early this year. He is considered a genuis but can not read and understand his college textbooks. He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing speed is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to him having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1 so called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not attempt to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support group for advise or meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he is Aspie etc.

Any advise would be helpful. We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around this area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have tried before. Also, does meet-ups have programs activities for young adults in this area? I will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept any advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would just ignore their request. We are becoming very desperate about the best for his future. Thx for advise. Regards, Mark

[Guest guest]

Hi :Thx for your comprehensive reply. You are fortunate you got a diagnosis for your son at an early age. We think with behavioral mod, and social skills training, and your support your son may excel. Our son was to smart and was able to hide his disorders from trained professionals for many years. As suggested by others I should have video taped his behaviors to shows Md's etc. You make a good point about backing up and dealing with reading disorder. I discussed this with him and will contact a contact a learning disorder specialist at local University or Children's Hospital. Perhaps they have computer program or ? . I'm sure he is not the only person with these symptoms in southern CA. We are

encouraging him to exercise more such as walking the dog in morning with me, but phobias generally prevent him from going outside in public. He really gets praise for attempting to attend college. Since he is adult we cannot force him to exercise. He becomes very verbally abusive if he does not agree with decision etc. We have found if he sees benefits of activity/treatment he will comply more readily. We continue plant seeds of importance of exercises and will get more assertive if he does not respond. He fortunately does not have any physical disability.Last semester he received 2 A's at college, but was taking goal assessment and occupational studies. With real long textbooks and so much to read is is overwhelmed. He is supposed to be reading a chapter now that I will test him on comphernsive. ( He is an auditory learner}He actually started himself on Omega 3s and Multivitamins.

Also, after years of being very picky eater now eats lots of veggies and fruits. he tries to eat small amounts 4-5 X a day. This is great news since previously he mostly ate junk foods, sodas etc.Sounds great your son continues to make physical achievements. Some Aspies haven't any physical limitations after PT. Seems like your son is making progress. As you probably know exercises sets endorphins in brain and helps improve anxiety/ and other mood disorders. Agree cannot let him just stay in room. We work daily in small steps to get motivation back etc. However, he went many years without help and now realizes he has mental condition. It has been hard for family, but we continue to praise small accomplishments. He needs lots of love. support, and help now. Hopefully, in months years he will feel comfortable and confident to take next step.Thx again for insights. We

wish you and family best. Pls contact if you have any ? or comments.Best always,Mark From: "Southard Engineering, Inc." <southardengineering@...> Sent: Thu, October 7, 2010 1:10:13 PMSubject: Re: ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE Mark, Well my family is just starting its journey with Asperger's Syndrome (son 6yrs old). I can speak on from the limited experience we have had. Your son is way beyond anything I've ever had to deal with. With all those deficits (ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder) I think he is just simply overwhelmed and he is certainly depressed. I think he probably needs to back way up and reboot. You might try getting him out of community college and just address the reading issue by itself. I would

FORCE him to exercise twice a day. Maybe a warm up in the morning and then something more intense in the late afternoon. Exercise will help balance his harmones, help with the anxiety, and help with any sensory issues he has. If he isn't coordinated than you've got to start slow teaching movement by movement. If he has any chronic sickness you've got to get rid of that as well. He needs to get his confidence back. Its so easy even for normal people to quit when the going gets tough. Now imagine if for the normal Aspie its 10x harder. For your son it might be 100 times harder. Our son has had lots of coordination issues and many of the typical Aspie syndromes. HE is very mild to begin with. But I have found that i simply have to force him to try things. Once he makes an achievement or a positive step it gets easier but I keep nudging

until he masters something. Then we move on to the next thing. But I have to force him until he gets the the idea that HE CAN DO IT. So for example perhaps after a year or two and he has become a more accomplished reader you can start him back in school. Perhaps start with a correspondance course. So he doesn't have to deal with the social issues, anxiety, and noise all at the same time. I guess I'm just thinking he needs to go back to the beginning and take some baby steps. So maybe you dedicate 10 minutes to reading everyday and eventually work that up to an hour. The same would go for the exercise but you might start out at 20 minutes. If he hasn't tried occupational therapy you might try that too. They can help with handwriting, coordination, and other sensory diet issues. I can see why he

would be depresses. He must be a good boy if he hasn't gotten himself hooked on some kind of drugs, alchohol, etc... You may have tried all this already I don't know. I'm just trying to help and I have very little experience and none with issues that large. And you know your son might just be right about all the medications. I really don't know but if you go to defeat Autism Now's website the psych drugs are hit or miss in their surveys. I would try putting him on a daily vitamin, 1g of vitamin C a day, and one Omega 3 a day and see if over a period of a month it helps any. What I don't think you can afford to do is let him sit in his room all day. I think Asperger's is a lot like Dementia for old people. For old people they retire and they don't use it and then they lose it. For Aspies I think

its a lot like they never use it so they never develop the skills. This goes for coordination, social issues, concentration, etc... We've seen remarkable gains in coordination with our son. His reflexes and quickness aren't on par yet but we've been able to get him almost on par with his peers in many coordination and athletic skills. But he has to practice 10 more before he gets them. Still can't swim. But now he can self propell on a swing and he couldn't do that last year. He can even run and make cuts without tripping which he used to do often just running in a straight line. He can color in the lines now. The list goes on and on. But he had to work 10 times harder. His younger brother who is 4 just does them. So maybe you need to expect more of him in TERMS OF working to make PROGRESS. But demand less in terms of HIGH LEVEL

SKILLS. Think of it in terms of the tortouis and the rabbit. Your son may not be a rabbit. Don't ask him to be a rabbit. But dog gone it he is a tortouise expect him to work hard like a tortouise. Eventually he can get to the same place in life. He might be 30 but if you can get him there he can become independent and self sufficient. I hope all the best for your family. I can't imagine how hard its been being undiagnosed all that time. From: Mark Calvert <tustinmark1956@...>Subject: ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE Cc:

tustinmark1956@...Date: Thursday, October 7, 2010, 1:28 PM Hi everyone! Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise. Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatrists psychologist etc. And has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6 counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every RX for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder. He has had severve side effects from many meds and he states he feels like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early

this year. He is considered a genuis but can not read and understand his college textbooks. He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing speed is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to him having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1 so called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not attempt to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support group for advise or meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he is Aspie etc. Any advise would be helpful. We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around this area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have

tried before. Also, does meet-ups have programs activities for young adults in this area? I will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept any advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would just ignore their request. We are becoming very desperate about the best for his future. Thx for advise. Regards, Mark

[Guest guest]

Mark,

Since your son is so smart it doesn't surprise me what happened. At 23 or so I got hashimottos disease which killed my thyroid. I didn't get it diagnosed until finally one day I got in the car three different times to do one thing and failed three times. My short term memory got so bad I could no longer focus on anything. But up till that point I adapted. Even now my short term memory is poor cause my adaptations (organization, sequence, etc...) helped me do things without relying upon it. Your son is amazing that he was able to get so far without being able to read. Imagine how far he will be able to go once he can read better. Like peeling an onion you can strip away one more impedement.

I think you have a great attitude and it sounds like you have a good plan. I think perhaps a shorter simplified version of my advice would be to just keep stressing that he can do whatever he puts his mind too. I like your analogy of planting seeds because I think its true especially with your son being older. He will have to decide for himself that paths he chooses. Warn him of the consequences if you think he is choosing unwisely. Hopefully he will start believing that your advice is worth taking in most situations. For us it is much easier because at a young age there are all kinds of ways for us to get him to do things whether its outright force, bribery, haggling, stars, stickers, praise, encouragement, competition from his brother, etc.... Even then I have to tell you that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. That's why I think our biggest progress has been

with coordination and motar skills. Social skills while slightly improving are difficult cause you just can't force verbal communication as much. We can only encourage. But if we do it too much, he won't want to, just because he'll feel as if forced. So we walk this fine line all the time.

Here one more analogy. With my son we have a long way to go. But its a bit like peeling an onion. We peel away one deficit at a time. We find often that as we eliminate things we reveal other core issues. For example now that a lot of the sensory issues have improved its becoming apparent that my son has an attention span issue that effects him not only in the classroom, but also in social engagements, and when trying out sports. Any pause and his mind wanders. So we just started Omega 3 and a bit of melatonin at night to help him get better sleep. So far he seems to be falling asleep faster and we have less of those occaisional nights where he would wake up in the middle of the night.

I'm an engineer by trade so my son has become like this little puzzle that I'm trying to solve. I really think Autism picked the perfect symbol for their cause. Each kid is different.

Best of luck with your son. Just keep giving him encouragement, hope, and love. I think your son is going to get better. I have a real good feeling about it.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails.

From: Mark Calvert <tustinmark1956@...>Subject: ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE Cc: tustinmark1956@...Date: Thursday, October 7, 2010, 1:28 PM

Hi everyone!

Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise.

Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatrists psychologist etc. And has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6 counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every RX for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading Disorder. He has had severve side effects from many meds and he states he feels like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early this year.

He is considered a genuis but can not read and understand his college textbooks. He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing speed is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to him having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1 so called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not attempt to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support group for advise or meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he is Aspie etc.

Any advise would be helpful.

We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around this area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have tried before.

Also, does meet-ups have programs activities for young adults in this area? I will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept any advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would just ignore their request.

We are becoming very desperate about the best for his future. Thx for advise.

Regards,

Mark

[Guest guest]

Mark, How and when did you get the Asp diagnosis for your son. We are dealing

with that with our 22 yr old...all the issues you talk about we are dealing with

too. Mark

>

>

> >From: Mark Calvert <tustinmark1956@...>

> >Subject: ( ) 20yr dsAspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS

> >/ADVISE

> >

> >Cc: tustinmark1956@...

> >Date: Thursday, October 7, 2010, 1:28 PM

> >

> >

> >

> >Hi everyone!

> >

> >

> >Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise.

> >

> >

> >Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatrists psychologist etc.

And

> >has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6

> >counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every

RX

> >for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading

> >Disorder. He has had severve side effects from many meds and he states he

feels

> >like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has

> >had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual

> >diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early this year.

> >

> >

> >He is considered a genuis but can not read and understand his college

textbooks.

> >He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing

speed

> >is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to

him

> >having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1

so

> >called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are

> >concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not

attempt

> >to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support

> >group for advise or meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he

is

> >Aspie etc.

> >

> >

> >Any advise would be helpful.

> >

> >

> >We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA

> >and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around

this

> >area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have tried before.

> >

> >

> >Also, does meet-ups have programs activities for young adults in this area? I

> >will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been

> >through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept

any

> >advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would

just

> >ignore their request.

> >

> >

> >We are becoming very desperate about the best for his future. Thx for advise.

> >Regards,

> >Mark

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi!Unfortunately we tried since about 6th grade to find diagnosis for son. Many MDs dismissed it as teenage.After much searching our psychiatrist provided a psychologist who specialized in testing for Spectrum disorders. His name is Dr. Recor in Newport Bch, CA. Very kind man.His tests lasted about 6 hrs.Also, you may ask others on this site for professionals in your area who specialize in testing. Perhaps your County's Mental Health office can provide you with referral. Even though our son was treated for Asperger's, ADHD etc since age 16 nobody would suggest comphensive testing? He was tested 4/10 and now we know why all oddities etc occured throughout his childhood.Would suggest testing ASAP so you will at least know what and how to

treat condition. Also, we got slight peace of mind knowing we were not problem, as our son stated for years.Hope this helps,Mark From: buguy <gilachub@...> Sent: Tue, October 12, 2010 8:29:55 PMSubject: Re: ( ) 20yr ds Aspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS /ADVISE Mark, How and when did you get the Asp diagnosis for your son. We are dealing with that with our 22 yr old...all the issues you talk about we are dealing with too. Mark > > > >From: Mark Calvert <tustinmark1956@...> > >Subject: ( ) 20yr dsAspie, ADHD Please NEED ANY SUGGESTIONS >

>/ADVISE > > > >Cc: tustinmark1956@... > >Date: Thursday, October 7, 2010, 1:28 PM > > > > > > > >Hi everyone! > > > > > >Thx for prior assistance, but now have major concern and need advise. > > > > > >Our 20 year ds old refuses to see any more psychiatrists psychologist etc. And > >has refused any more Rx's.. The reason is he has tried about 6 MDs and 6 > >counsolors over the last 10 years without success. He has also been on every RX > >for Aspergers, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Dependency Disorder, Reading > >Disorder. He has had severve side effects from many meds and he states he feels >

>like a " guiena pig " taking so many meds without signifacant results. He has > >had severve depression, lethargy etc from meds. He was able to hide is actual > >diagnosis until we had extensive testing performed early this year. > > > > > >He is considered a genuis but can not read and understand his college textbooks. > >He is taking 2 classes at jc which he assumes he will fail. His processing speed > >is very slow, and he is an auditory learner. The Diasbled Center agreed to him > >having books on CD, note taker etc but he does not follow up. He has only 1 so > >called friend and usually isolates himself in room 22 hrs a day. We are > >concerned that if he fails college he will just remain in room and not attempt > >to socialize or gain new friends. WE have suggested he contact this support > >group for advise or

meetups with young adults but we think he still denies he is > >Aspie etc. > > > > > >Any advise would be helpful. > > > > > >We were thinking that perhaps as parents we could go to MD ? around Irvine CA > >and ask advise for son. Does anyone know a good compassionate MD etc around this > >area. We have been very unlucky on ones we have tried before. > > > > > >Also, does meet-ups have programs activities for young adults in this area? I > >will continue to encourage him to join group of young adults that have been > >through what he has and perhaps thinks the way he does. He will not accept any > >advise from us and stated to counselors he would do some activity but would just > >ignore their request. > > > > > >We are becoming very desperate about the best

for his future. Thx for advise. > >Regards, > >Mark > > >