Re: I could use some ideas for a summer lesson plan for 6-yr-old

[Guest guest]

I may be off here, but what about giving her (and you) a couple

of weeks to relax before you start up a routine of lesson plans? Plan some fun

activites you both can enjoy? Some “down” time where you guys can just hang

out, do crafts, go to a movie, a museum, something like that? And then set a

date to start doing the other stuff, and work a daily routine into it. I think

maybe you both need some time to not think about struggles, or strengths… and

just ENJOY each other

Just a thought… good luck whatever you decide!!

=)

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of andie

Sent: Thursday, June 11, 2009 3:10 PM

Subject: ( ) I could use some ideas for a summer lesson

plan for 6-yr-old

We're only 4 days into summer break and she's

already driving me NUTS!!!!!!!!

I have managed to get her to do journal entries, all of which are about her

tortoise, but that's about it. I have to tell her she can't go out and play

until she gets it done.

I was hoping to be able to give her lessons each day to help her become more

confident in her writing and math skills.

I have a HUGE problem myself with time management and organization - I guess in

actuality, I am quite organized... I just spend more time researching HOW to do

it than actually doing it! That being said, if anyone does home schooling with

their AS child, would you be willing to give me specific lesson plans you may use

during the day? I need to have times as well as exactly what the lessons will

be and how to execute them to maximize her interest. Obviously, I'll have to do

some tailoring to achieve the right fit, but a baseline as to where to start

would be a huge help.

I can certainly relate to these kids and their frustration when it comes to

getting things done. I think my problem is that I feel I have to have a perfect

plan before I can move forward. Of course, I always feel that things could use

improvement, so I have a difficult time stopping the planning phase and moving

on to the DOING phase!

[Guest guest]

It seems we both do better with a plan and activities to accomplish throughout

the day. I have 4 hours while my younger daughter is in care to keep the AS

daughter occupied. I have tried crafts, and she insists on hoarding all the

beads/sequins/pipe cleaners - you name it- and lining them up. She ends up

getting so obsessed with parts of the project that we can't get anything done...

then when it's time to clean up, we get into a meltdown because she has 'bonded'

with these inanimate objects and doesn't want to put them away.

I already read books to her and entertain her obsessions by drawing bug pictures

with her or reading books or doing internet research on one of her interests.

We're 45 min away from the theater in town so there's no driving there, watching

a movie, and getting home in time to pick up Ryen.

What I'm getting at is that idle time is NOT good for this kid! She does much

better with routines, so I figured if I could fill the day with productive

activities, we could kill two birds with one stone.

Just wanted to make it clear that I'm not a slave driver! Ha ha! She certainly

has her share of down time... but if I don't have something specific planned,

she'll go off and talk to a photo of a boy she's obsessed with in her yearbook

for hours.

>

> I may be off here, but what about giving her (and you) a couple of weeks to

> relax before you start up a routine of lesson plans? Plan some fun activites

> you both can enjoy? Some " down " time where you guys can just hang out, do

> crafts, go to a movie, a museum, something like that? And then set a date to

> start doing the other stuff, and work a daily routine into it. I think maybe

> you both need some time to not think about struggles, or strengths. and just

> ENJOY each other

>

>

>

> Just a thought. good luck whatever you decide!!

>

>

>

> =)

>

>

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of andie

> Sent: Thursday, June 11, 2009 3:10 PM

>

> Subject: ( ) I could use some ideas for a summer lesson plan

> for 6-yr-old

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> We're only 4 days into summer break and she's already driving me

> NUTS!!!!!!!!

>

> I have managed to get her to do journal entries, all of which are about her

> tortoise, but that's about it. I have to tell her she can't go out and play

> until she gets it done.

>

> I was hoping to be able to give her lessons each day to help her become more

> confident in her writing and math skills.

>

> I have a HUGE problem myself with time management and organization - I guess

> in actuality, I am quite organized... I just spend more time researching HOW

> to do it than actually doing it! That being said, if anyone does home

> schooling with their AS child, would you be willing to give me specific

> lesson plans you may use during the day? I need to have times as well as

> exactly what the lessons will be and how to execute them to maximize her

> interest. Obviously, I'll have to do some tailoring to achieve the right

> fit, but a baseline as to where to start would be a huge help.

>

> I can certainly relate to these kids and their frustration when it comes to

> getting things done. I think my problem is that I feel I have to have a

> perfect plan before I can move forward. Of course, I always feel that things

> could use improvement, so I have a difficult time stopping the planning

> phase and moving on to the DOING phase!

>

[Guest guest]

Andie I do understand what you are saying. I have an 11 year old

daughter. When she was younger she would be very withdrawn and I too wanted to

draw her out of this and be more social at least with me.

At 11 my daughter is more engaged with me and wants to do things

with me. My daughter has a tendency to perfectionize an activity to the point it

is not fun. I try to avoid anything that has to be

done perfect.

Here are some ideas:

1. Outdoors Activity: Large Motor Skills (1-2 hours)

Because they are so much thinkers, anything that you can

get her to do that is " not thinking " but physical would be

a step away from perserverating, perfectionizing and obessing.

- playing with water and cups and dolls and plastic

animals outside.

-digging in dirt looking for bugs, planting tomatotoes, basil,

on the deck in a pot and watering them each day.

-swinging, spinning, bouncing outside

-learning to ride a bike with training wheels (stressful though)

-watering plants or washing the driveway with a hose

-getting a small furry pet and taking it outside to eat grass

daily. warning: smelly critters but cute and Mom will do work until child is 11

or older. Or a hermit crab is low maintance.

-collecting rocks and having a rock garden

-Being outside in flip flops, and swimsuit and putting the

the sprinker on her or give her a hose and have her

wash down something.

2. Indoor Activity Fine Motor Skills (1-2 hours)

Strive for broadening interests and reducing perfectionizing.

These activites for us tended to increase stress as she

was trying to perfectionize too much. You need to stress

it is for fun it doesn't have to be perfect. And make

sure your version is messy but have fun doing it.

* Cooking: if she likes categories decide on something you

want to try variations of. One summer we tried all kinds of

pizza's, another time it was all kinds of smoothie drinks.

There is something organizing for them about it being

all in one category. At age 6 we were making pizzas

and decorating cookies and cakes. You can have her measure

things in the measuring cup.

* Messy Art: finger painting, watercolors

3. Music Activity, Dance and Dressup (1 -2 hours)

Strive for trying different instrucments or music styles.

I hope your library rents out CD's. At 6 years old we

listened to rafia, disney, pokas and danced and dressed up.

But I would go outdoors if you can and save this for rainy

days or the winter. Summer is a time to be outdoors.

4. Computer Skills (not now focus on something outdoors)

She is very young for the computer. But in this age

penmanship is not important anymore. As long as she can

write to some extent. As she gets older she can use the

computer more.

5. Library summer reading program (1 visit a week)

This is somewhat social, listening to a book read

and then picking some out to take home. My daughter

at 6 had a good time at this but the library had some

stamps and she drove me nuts with stamping

cards (perfectly) before we could leave the library.

6. Academics

I would save this for the fall. Only because as I said these

kids are such thinkers. You want to take a break from that

side of the brain at least in small steps in the summer.

Reading is a good summer activity, cooking you are doing some

math with measuring and counting, nature is science, and

if you do listen to music it can be from different countries

polkas (from poland), irish music etc.

7. Social Skill: Mom joins in on interest at least 30-60

minutes a day and try to get her to engage in conversation

going back and forth. You want to get her to talk to you

even if it is about her special interests.

Pam

-- In , " andie " <andie6294@...> wrote:

>

> We're only 4 days into summer break and she's already driving me NUTS!!!!!!!!

>

> I have managed to get her to do journal entries, all of which are about her

tortoise, but that's about it. I have to tell her she can't go out and play

until she gets it done.

>

> I was hoping to be able to give her lessons each day to help her become more

confident in her writing and math skills.

>

> I have a HUGE problem myself with time management and organization - I guess

in actuality, I am quite organized... I just spend more time researching HOW to

do it than actually doing it! That being said, if anyone does home schooling

with their AS child, would you be willing to give me specific lesson plans you

may use during the day? I need to have times as well as exactly what the

lessons will be and how to execute them to maximize her interest. Obviously,

I'll have to do some tailoring to achieve the right fit, but a baseline as to

where to start would be a huge help.

>

> I can certainly relate to these kids and their frustration when it comes to

getting things done. I think my problem is that I feel I have to have a perfect

plan before I can move forward. Of course, I always feel that things could use

improvement, so I have a difficult time stopping the planning phase and moving

on to the DOING phase!

>

[Guest guest]

Okay...but what happens in Real life when you are not around...what happens in school? I think it is good that you can distract her, have her focus on other things...but what happens when you are not around? How is she going to handle school or a job or whatever?

I think you also need to work with her and get her into therapy to help her with her OCD of perfectionism...believe me...I have it to a degree and over the years I have grown or learned to deal with not being perfect and it is hard...but it could tear her apart. She may end up melting down all day long. Medication helps too! Therapy, a good diet, good nights sleep and sometimes medication.

You have to work with her to teach her it is OKAY not to be perfect ...and that NO ONE is perfect..

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope">> We're only 4 days into summer break and she's already driving me NUTS!!!!!!!!> > I have managed to get her to do journal entries, all of which are about her tortoise, but that's about it. I have to tell her she can't go out and play until she gets it done. > > I was hoping to be able to give her lessons each day to help her become more confident in her writing and math skills. > > I have a HUGE problem myself with time management and organization - I guess in actuality, I am quite organized... I just spend more time researching HOW to do it than actually doing it! That being said, if anyone does home schooling with

their AS child, would you be willing to give me specific lesson plans you may use during the day? I need to have times as well as exactly what the lessons will be and how to execute them to maximize her interest. Obviously, I'll have to do some tailoring to achieve the right fit, but a baseline as to where to start would be a huge help.> > I can certainly relate to these kids and their frustration when it comes to getting things done. I think my problem is that I feel I have to have a perfect plan before I can move forward. Of course, I always feel that things could use improvement, so I have a difficult time stopping the planning phase and moving on to the DOING phase!>

[Guest guest]

Well that is good advice too.

All these ideas " are behavior modifications " .

And for us that helped with reducing anxiety and improving

engagement. And also making real change in her thinking.

Teachers often do make my daughters perfectionizing worse, in the way they talk

and grade. Even though we have IEP input from

an OCD specialist.

Medication often helps. We agree. Therapy is helpful too but often

AS kids hate to talk about things that are emotional.

Pam

<jrushen@...> wrote:

>

> Okay...but what happens in Real life when you are not around...what happens in

school? I think it is good that you can distract her, have her focus on other

things...but what happens when you are not around? How is she going to handle

school or a job or whatever?

>  

> I think you also need to work with her and get her into therapy to help her

with her OCD of perfectionism...believe me...I have it to a degree and over the

years I have grown or learned to deal with not being perfect and it is

hard...but it could tear her apart.  She may end up melting down all day long. 

Medication helps too!  Therapy, a good diet, good nights sleep and sometimes

medication.

>  

> You have to work with her to teach her it is OKAY not to be perfect ...and

that NO ONE is perfect..

>  

> Jan

>

>

> Janice Rushen

>  

> " I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope "

>

>

> >

> > We're only 4 days into summer break and she's already driving me

NUTS!!!!!!!!

> >

> > I have managed to get her to do journal entries, all of which are about her

tortoise, but that's about it. I have to tell her she can't go out and play

until she gets it done.

> >

> > I was hoping to be able to give her lessons each day to help her become more

confident in her writing and math skills.

> >

> > I have a HUGE problem myself with time management and organization - I guess

in actuality, I am quite organized... I just spend more time researching HOW to

do it than actually doing it! That being said, if anyone does home schooling

with their AS child, would you be willing to give me specific lesson plans you

may use during the day? I need to have times as well as exactly what the lessons

will be and how to execute them to maximize her interest. Obviously, I'll have

to do some tailoring to achieve the right fit, but a baseline as to where to

start would be a huge help.

> >

> > I can certainly relate to these kids and their frustration when it comes to

getting things done. I think my problem is that I feel I have to have a perfect

plan before I can move forward. Of course, I always feel that things could use

improvement, so I have a difficult time stopping the planning phase and moving

on to the DOING phase!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Well all I can say is this is behavior modification.

> Every family has certain ways of life that children

> integrate. I am trying to have a lifestyle that is

> more balanced with some exercise and balance out the

> detailed perfectionistic tendencies we all have with some

> activities that would be hard to turn into that.

Yes, these are all good thoughts. I'm just letting you know that there may be a

lot more to your daughter's changing than simply distracting her away from her

preferred activities. In the lingo, if you simply extinguish her behaviors

instead of getting down to the root of the cause and dealing with it, or let her

deal with it herself over time, it may possibly surface someplace else in a

different way.

Believe it or not, she will grow out of this, at least to some extent. My son

actually says things like " I used to think strange thoughts, but now I don't " .

Of course, he is still Asperger, and still thinks some of what most of us would

call strange thoughts, but he has really improved. He's getting there and so

will your daughter.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

It is good to get feedback and even challenged. This is a great group. There is

a really good book called " Effective Parenting for the hard to manage child " by

Georgia Degangi.

They describe a toolbox for parents, 1) teaching children to

calm down 2) building self esteem 3) Managing out of control

behavior 4)providing structure 5) interpersonal skills.

The book references bipolar experts and OT experts more than

AS experts. But it a good parenting book for special needs

kids.

http://www.amazon.com/Effective-Parenting-Hard-Manage-Child/dp/0415955467/ref=sr\

_1_1?ie=UTF8 & s=books & qid=1244994932 & sr=1-1#reader

Pam

-- In , " r_woman2 " <me2ruth@...> wrote:

>

>

> >

> > Well all I can say is this is behavior modification.

> > Every family has certain ways of life that children

> > integrate. I am trying to have a lifestyle that is

> > more balanced with some exercise and balance out the

> > detailed perfectionistic tendencies we all have with some

> > activities that would be hard to turn into that.

>

> Yes, these are all good thoughts. I'm just letting you know that there may be

a lot more to your daughter's changing than simply distracting her away from her

preferred activities. In the lingo, if you simply extinguish her behaviors

instead of getting down to the root of the cause and dealing with it, or let her

deal with it herself over time, it may possibly surface someplace else in a

different way.

>

> Believe it or not, she will grow out of this, at least to some extent. My son

actually says things like " I used to think strange thoughts, but now I don't " .

Of course, he is still Asperger, and still thinks some of what most of us would

call strange thoughts, but he has really improved. He's getting there and so

will your daughter.

>

> Ruth

>

[Guest guest]

It seems I was unclear in my post. I am the one with the perfectionism issues,

not my daughter. I don't think she could care less whether she does something

perfectly, or at all for that matter. She mostly tries to avoid anything she's

not interested in, and it's very hard to get her to cooperate long enough to do

a lesson. This is why I'm wanting a plan, with times and such, so she can see

that handwriting and math only last 15 minutes, not forever.

> > >

> > > Okay...but what happens in Real life when you are not around...what

happens in school? I think it is good that you can distract her, have her focus

on other things...but what happens when you are not around?

> >

> > I think Jan has something here. Trying to distract your dd's away from

their weaknesses will only get you so far. They also have work through their

weaknesses. It is not fun and you will have to endure some meltdowns, well,

maybe a LOT of meltdowns, but your child will progress. This is what

intervention is all about. What worked for us was finding a way to encourage

our son through his meltdowns--you don't need to encourage them to develop

control--nobody wants to lose control like that--giving him (and us) little

breaks from all the emoting as needed. Another thing was encouraging him to

expand his interest rather than trying to squash it.

> >

> > Personally, when my son wanted to build a hundred lego objects, write a

hundred stories, draw a hundred pictures and save them all, I found room for

them--I didn't try to force him to have some sort of perfect organized, clean

room. When you have a child with obsessive tendencies, that is not terribly

realistic. You'll drive yourself crazy, and you may cause some serious trust

issues with your child when she sees you don't respect what she sees as " her "

things. BTDT!

> >

> > Ruth

> >

>