Re: Husbands (was Re: Homeschooling in California)

[Guest guest]

My husband does the same thing with hiding out when people are over , when my family is over i usually have to tell him to get out of garage" his man cave" and come up stairs , because while i try and understand where he is coming from , at the same time , him having aspergers is not a license for him to just do whatever he wants! lol He agrees that he tries to get away with getting out of socializing when people are over! But lately he has been working real hard to make that effort to interact with guests we have at our home! I have no idea how to really explain it , because while my family members understand what im saying when i tell them my husband has this disorder , i know a lot of them are thinking in their head , "mmmhmmm ok " ya know ? like they really dont get it , and

it sucks because my husband wishes he could be more social and want to talk to people and have meaninful close relationships with my sisters and their husbands , but he just doesnt know how! And he finds whatever he is working on with computers or electronis at the moment is more important then socializing with them! So i am still trying to figure out how he operates , one because its interesting to me , and it helps me alot with my 2 sons that have autism , and aspergers! But because i want to make our marriage a great one , a compassionate one , and really just a fun marriage!! I really feel sometimes it gets hard to be a wife of a man with AS! While i love him more than life itself! It does sometimes get lonely when my husband cant look at me in the eyes and say wow you look beautiful today , or thanks for being a great mom, your doing great!" Ya know , just things EVERY woman wants to here!! And its hard to explain because im not trying to

blame all my husbands faults or quirks into aspergers or anything , but him having aspergers does have a lot to do with certain issues we have in our marriage! Like for example , we have been together for about 6 years , and i think he has only gotten me flowers once! Now its not so much the point of the actual " flowers" because he doesnt really get me cards , or presents ! And tot be clear , i have always said to him , i dont want a ring , i dont want diamond earings , i dont need a necklace , just get me a card and write how you feel about me in it , that means more to me then anything!! I think a lot of even "typical" men have that very same issue! But my husband has done it a couple of times and wrote very nice things to me in a few cards he has given me! But he would never watch me open / read any gifts or cards he has ever gotten me, he says it makes him extremely uncomfortable and nervous , like he just wants to jump out of his skin and run

away!! Case and point , when he asked me to marry him he walked into the house when i was making dinner , handed me the box and said merry christmas , and immediately looked down at the floor , his face got beat red , he was sweating and looked like he was about to cry!! And i opened it saw the ring , and im like ahhhhh , wow , ( should probably mention i knew he was goin to ask me to marry him , not specifically that night , but knew it was comin) and so i was like " and this is......." and with his head still looking at the floor , face beat red and hot , said " will you marry me" , so sure it may not have been down on one knee in the middle of a beautiful park like you see in the movies , but it was so special to me , because it was him , he did it the only way he knew how , and i wouldnt change the way my husband is for the whole world!! He is a very special man , and while some things he does may confuse or get to me at times , hes a great husband

and an even better Father :)p.s. Am i surrounded my computer parts and other electronics you ask??????? Yeah pretty sure im gonna take a picture and send it to you , because its like computer wonderland down in his man cave!!! lol Too funny!! We literally have like 4 computers that i can turn around and look at right now , that I KNOW are just junk , i always tell him to throw some of this crap away , and you would have thought i just told him to go slap his mother across the face, the way his face looked when i told him that!! lolMeaghanFrom:

<jenuhferr@...>" " < >Sent: Sat, January 8, 2011 11:33:20 PMSubject: ( ) Husbands (was Re: Homeschooling in California)

So funny that you mention that he doesn't really socialize at all. My husband has friends too but like you said they are very casual and he doesn't see them! Mainly work friends. If I have someone over my husband hides out in our bedroom and 'plays around' with his computers. We've been together since we were just 18 and 20 years old and I've cracked his shell quite a bit.By the way, are you surrounded by computers and computer parts? My husband literally has a giant computer tower Sub Microsysrems Blade w SPARC. Tell THAT one to your husband... Apparently it's awesome. YAWN! We also have an old Apple computer in the corner of our room that is useless but gosh forbid we get rid of it!!! You can tell I love my husband so much. He probably deals with more annoyances from me! Jen HOn Jan 7, 2011, at 11:09 AM, Meaghan Larson <meaghanlarson@...> wrote:

Hey Jen, AHHHHHH LINUX!!! LOL my husband LOVES linux , he talks about it all the time!! And he always talks about how Ubuntu is sooo much better then windows systems!! I try and follow along in those conversations but he usually ends up talking about stuff that to me sound like he is speaking another language!lol But Pretty sure our husbands would be best friends if they knew each other!! lolLike i said before my husband went through K-12 without anyone evaluating him for any kind of disorder! He wasnt bullied badly until he got to highschool i think ,one , because it was a very small town and where he went to middle school and elementary school only had like 8 kids in his class, so everyone kind of had to be friendly or there would be no one to talk too! lol BUt also because he really just kept to himself , for the

most part, he

formed very close relationships with 1 other boy growing up , but on his friends 19th birthday he died! He had a blood transfusion in the early 80's when he was 2 years old and was infected with HIV! Very sad , since then he really hasnt gotten to close with anyone , i dont wanna say he doesnt have friends , because he does , he just never hangs out with them , they are more casual. Its like ,when he sees' them , he talks to him kind of thing! He is just happier staying at home and working on electronics or wood working, thats his other big hobby is building whatever he can out of wood! :)FInding out my husband has aspergers was i think the best thing that has helped our marriage! I could never understand why he wouldnt go out with me and my sisters and their husbands for a night out on the town, sometimes he has to force himself to go because he knows i want to go so bad! Which always made me feel so bad! I hate feeling like i am

putting him in situations that he doesnt want to be in! My family is all aware of how my husband is , and its helped them understand him too!! They at first thought my husband was such a prick! Because he wouldnt talk and when he would talk , he would always say kind of weird things , he has a very dry sense of humor! lolBut my husband loves the way he is , he knows he is really smart and he can figure out a lot of things that many "typical" people would have to spend a lot of time on to figure out!! He looks at it more as a ability then a disability!! And i love that! :)Thanks for writing back to my message , its kind of cool to hear about others who are in a similar situation as I am! ( well not cool to hear your husband is still troubled from all the bullies from highschool ofcourse , but this is why they have support groups , your husband shouldnt feel stupid or anything like that , sounds like a very

intelligent man with a great head on his shoulders!! :)Meaghan

From: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Homeschooling in California Date: Sunday, January 2, 2011, 11:38 PM

Your story is so uplifting, thank you for sharing.

This group keeps the blues away

Cathleen

From: Tricia <bright4homeschool@...> Sent: Thu, December 30, 2010 7:04:55 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Homeschooling in California

Dear Meaghan,

I know where you are coming from. I pulled my son out of the pre-school handicapped program when he was only 3 years old after just a few weeks. I really believed that the classroom would benefit his needs. I had no worry about his ability to learn. He was a little sponge and already reading before he started the pre-school program. After only 6 weeks I saw it wasn't working. I spent at least 3 days a week called into school to handle a "situation. In mid-winter, I'd have to bundle a newborn 10 week early preemie and walk to the school because my 3 year old wanted to play in house keeping or had a meltdown because he didn't want to write his name again. His first progress report was all check minuses. Yet in the conference, the teacher proceeded to tell me things like, "Do you know is the only one in the class that knows all the days of the week..he can

even read them?" "You son can count to 100 and he just turned 3." and "He's the only child in the class who participates during circle time." Yet when I questioned why his entire progress report indicated below standard progress, I was informed it was because he could not sit still. Then two weeks later I received a letter from the child study team informing me that the district was no longer able to provide services for my son. He was too disrupted in the classroom and was being placed in the residential program for severely multiply handicapped children. I was able to "opt" to keep my toddler home with me if I chose and the school would transport him the one hour it took to drive to the school until he was 12, at which time he would need to become a residential student unless I choose to transport him myself.

Oh I choose to transport him all right....from the public school right back to my home...and we never looked back.

I officially began homeschooling him from that day forward. I heard all the woeful stores about how he would never be socialized. But I have yet to see an Aspie truly socialize in the public school setting. Instead I see them ostracized, bullied, picked on and called weird because they see the world in a different light. Yes, I was told he would never learn. Yet, He could tell me the moons of Mars when he was 6. When I asked how he know that, he matter of factly told me, "I looked it up in the encyclopedia when we were in the Library this morning."

I kept him involved. We participated in countless homeschool activities including trips. But I was there to help guide him him appropriate social behavior, and other caring moms were there to instruct their "normal" kiddos how to deal with and accept 's little qwirks. We went to weekly play dates in the park, monthly roller skating, soccer, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, Sea Scouts, Venturing. He is an Eagle Scout, and was even a Den Chief for a Cub Scout Den for 3 years starting when he was 13. Today he is a mentor to an 8 year old ADHD little boy who is facing similar harassment that he experienced when he was young.

He graduated with a 4.0 GPA last June. Today he maintains a 4.0 GPA at a Technical Institute and won a scholarship after testing in the top 10 of the incoming freshman. He chose the Tech route the middle of his senior year, after being accepted into an Ivy League University during his Junior year of high school. He came to me and asked if I'd be really disappointed in him if he decided he didn't want to go to college. We sat down and discussed the situation. He had a long list that he made outlining his reasons to choose Tech School over U Penn. His biggest reason was he didn't want to come out of school with $100, 000 worth of debt only to have to enroll in the tech school after graduation to prepare for the 10 Certifications he needed to become a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. U Penn would only give him a degree in programming not which would not prepare

him to become a network engineer or administrator. He showed me the data, how could I object? I don't know many 17 year old Seniors who would even bother to research the job requirements and certifications needed without parental or guidance counselor prodding, let alone decide they didn't want to be 21 and in that much debt in a society when the job market is iffy at best!

Do I regret my decision to homeschool? Not on your life. My son is still the square peg in the round hole of education. But today he is a young man who can ignore some of the taunts that he still faces. I was able to instill in him a love of learning, and a security of who he is, what he believes, and how to handle himself when the going gets tough. I didn't set him out for the wolves of conformity as a 5 year old. It amazes me, today he tells me, he knows he will never totally fit in with the rest of the class. But that's ok, because they all know who to come to when they don't know how to put the network back together. He also tells me, if he could change his life and not be an Aspie, he wouldn't, because he says, that is just who he is and he's ok with that. And if he didn't have Aspergers, then he wouldn't be himself. With a tear in my eye, I have to say, I

know I wasn't that self assured or secure in my life when I was 18.

You know your own child and what is best for him. Go with your heart and ignore the naysayers. Your son will learn and group and can become a confident young man with your love and guidance.

If you choose to homeschool, become familiar with the laws in your state.

http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp

Just click on your state.

While on the HSLDA website, check out the other links,

They have a division for parents with special needs children

http://www.hslda.org/strugglinglearner/default.asp

Info on getting started:

http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starthere/default.asp?bhcp=1

And for finding local support groups in your area:

http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starthere/info.asp

Plus much more.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes,

Tricia

-------original message----------

Posted by: "Meaghan Larson"

I am glad this topic was brought up, Let me start off by saying my 4 1/2 year Old has Aspergers , he was only in school for a few months in his local 4k Program at school, but in just that few months it did a lot of damage to him! He Was bullied , and even his teacher was pretty brutal to him at times! Before he Start school he was one of the most confident little boys I have ever seen, and When he was in school he became EXTREMELY insecure and would tell me things Other kids did and said to him, and it just broke my heart! None of the other Kids would play with him at recess , he would just wonder around by himself! So After observing that and getting no feedback or help from his teacher I pulled Him out! I am hoping to send him to the public school next year for pre school And try it again ( he went to our local private school for 4 k) But with the Specific problems he has ,

I really dont know if thats the appropriate setting For him? I hear stories about how much bullying and trouble that kids who are Just like Connor , but only older , have in public school , and I really just Dont see that point of putting my son through that!

When I talk about private school with my family members they say " oh well how Is he gonna learn?" and I just feel like responding with " learn what?!!!" learn To change who is he , and change the way he feels most comfortable with learning Because his teachers and other typical kids around him want him too? That hurts Nobody but my son!! Ofcourse I will get my son involved in activities and sports That he so chooses to take an interest in! And he will learn how to cope with His aspergers in situations that he doesnt necessarily feel comfortable in , but I wonder if public school is the right approach to helping him change how he Handles those situations! He is very smart for his age , so homeschooling would Be great in that aspect as he can work ahead in areas he does well in! But he Just wasnt able to learn when he was in regular school , the distractions of Noise , and other

sensory issues were just too overwhelming for him to learn in! So is it bad to have him be home schooled ? I feel like I should atleast Encourage him to give it one more go in the public school system , because he is So young! I just dont want the bullying or other issues that he will go through To damage him , and make him depressed! And most of all I dont want it to make Him not like learning , because he looooved to learn with me before he started School! But now he is so insecure I cant even get him to sit down and color a Picture with me! I wanna do whats best for my son , and I understand every Child goes through bullying at some point in time or another in school , but I Just worry that if I continue to send him to public school and wait until things Get bad before home schooling him that the damage will already be done to him! Any incite any parents wanna give me I'm totally open to hearing! And I hope

no One thinks I'm bashing public school or anything , because my nephews have autism And they have an AMAZING public school they go too! Sadly tho , the schools in my area are not to concerned with children with disabilities!

Meaghan

..

Posted by: "Meaghan Larson" meaghanlarson@... meaghanlarson

Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:55 PM (PST)

I am glad this topic was brought up, Let me start off by saying my 4 1/2 year Old has Aspergers , he was only in school for a few months in his local 4k Program at school, but in just that few months it did a lot of damage to him! He Was bullied , and even his teacher was pretty brutal to him at times! Before he Start school he was one of the most confident little boys I have ever seen, and When he was in school he became EXTREMELY insecure and would tell me things Other kids did and said to him, and it just broke my heart! None of the other Kids would play with him at recess , he would just wonder around by himself! So After observing that and getting no feedback or help from his teacher I pulled Him out! I am hoping to send him to the public school next year for pre school And try it again ( he went to our

local private

school for 4 k) But with the Specific problems he has , I really dont know if thats the appropriate setting For him? I hear stories about how much bullying and trouble that kids who are Just like Connor , but only older , have in public school , and I really just Dont see that point of putting my son through that! When I talk about private school with my family members they say " oh well how Is he gonna learn?" and I just feel like responding with " learn what?!!!" learn To change who is he , and change the way he feels most comfortable with learning Because his teachers and other typical kids around him want him too? That hurts Nobody but my son!! Ofcourse I will get my son involved in activities and sports That he so chooses to take an interest in! And he will learn how to cope with His aspergers in situations that he doesnt necessarily feel comfortable in , but I wonder if public school is the right

approach to helping him change how he Handles those situations! He is very smart for his age , so homeschooling would Be great in that aspect as he can work ahead in areas he does well in! But he Just wasnt able to learn when he was in regular school , the distractions of Noise , and other sensory issues were just too overwhelming for him to learn in! So is it bad to have him be home schooled ? I feel like I should atleast Encourage him to give it one more go in the public school system , because he is So young! I just dont want the bullying or other issues that he will go through To damage him , and make him depressed! And most of all I dont want it to make Him not like learning , because he looooved to learn with me before he started School! But now he is so insecure I cant even get him to sit down and color a Picture with me! I wanna do whats best for my son , and I understand every Child goes through

bullying at some point in time or another in school , but I Just worry that if I continue to send him to public school and wait until things Get bad before home schooling him that the damage will already be done to him! Any incite any parents wanna give me I'm totally open to hearing! And I hope no One thinks I'm bashing public school or anything , because my nephews have autism And they have an AMAZING public school they go too! Sadly tho , the schools in My area are not to concerned with children with disabilities! Meaghan

[Guest guest]

we had the work's old UPS complete with 24 batteries - small car

size, plus another 24 small brick size that we moved house with 3

times but that never got plugged in etc, we have bits and pieces in

every corner of the house, we own I don't know how many... and then

there are the keyboards and mouse collection...

What about buckets??? we own soooo many buckets, multiple mallets,

multiple hammers, screwdriver bits sets... do you all have tool

collections going on too???

On 09/01/2011 05:33, wrote:

 

So funny that you mention that he doesn't really

socialize at all. My husband has friends too but like you

said they are very casual and he doesn't see them! Mainly

work friends. If I have someone over my husband hides out

in our bedroom and 'plays around' with his computers.

We've been together since we were just 18 and 20 years old

and I've cracked his shell quite a bit.

By the way, are you surrounded by computers and

computer parts? My husband literally has a giant computer

tower Sub Microsysrems Blade w SPARC. Tell THAT one to

your husband... Apparently it's awesome. YAWN! We also

have an old Apple computer in the corner of our room that

is useless but gosh forbid we get rid of it!!! You can

tell I love my husband so much. He probably deals with

more annoyances from me!   

Jen H

On Jan 7, 2011, at 11:09 AM, Meaghan Larson <meaghanlarson@...>

wrote:

 

Hey Jen,

 AHHHHHH LINUX!!! LOL my husband LOVES linux ,

he talks about it all the time!! And he always

talks about how Ubuntu is sooo much better

then windows systems!! I try and follow along

in those conversations but he usually ends up

talking about stuff that to me sound like he

is speaking another language!lol But  Pretty

sure our husbands would be best friends if

they knew each other!! lol

Like i said before my husband went through

K-12 without anyone evaluating him for any

kind of disorder! He wasnt bullied badly until

he got to highschool i think ,one , because it

was a very small town and where he went to

middle school and elementary school only had

like 8 kids in his class, so everyone kind of

had to be friendly or there would be no one to

talk too! lol BUt also because he really just

kept to himself , for the most part, he formed

very close relationships with 1 other boy

growing up , but on his friends 19th birthday

he died! He had a blood transfusion in the

early 80's when he was 2 years old and was

infected with HIV! Very sad , since then he

really hasnt gotten to close with anyone , i

dont wanna say he doesnt have friends ,

because he does , he just never hangs out with

them , they are more casual. Its like ,when he

sees'  them , he talks to him kind of thing!

He is just happier staying at home and working

on electronics or wood working, thats his

other big hobby is building whatever he can

out of wood!

FInding out my husband has aspergers was i

think the best thing that has helped our

marriage! I could never understand why he

wouldnt go out with me and my sisters and

their husbands for a night out on the town,

sometimes he has to force himself to go

because he knows i want to go so bad! Which

always made me feel so bad! I hate feeling

like i am putting him in situations that he

doesnt want to be in!

My family is all aware of how my husband is ,

and its helped them understand him too!! They

at first thought my husband was such a prick!

Because he wouldnt talk and when he would talk

, he would always say kind of weird things ,

he has a very dry sense of humor! lol

But my husband loves the way he is , he knows

he is really smart and he can figure out a lot

of things that many "typical" people would

have to spend a lot of time on to figure out!!

He looks at it more as a ability then a

disability!! And i love that!

Thanks for writing back to my message ,  its

kind of cool to hear about others who are in a

similar situation as I am!   ( well not cool

to hear your husband is still troubled from

all the bullies from highschool ofcourse , but

this is why they have support groups , your

husband shouldnt feel stupid or anything like

that , sounds like a very intelligent man with

a great head on his shoulders!!

Meaghan

From: Cathleen

Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...>

Subject: Re:

( )

Re:

Homeschooling in

California

Date: Sunday,

January 2, 2011,

11:38 PM

 

Your

story is so

uplifting,

thank you for

sharing.

This

group keeps

the blues away

Cathleen

From:

Tricia <bright4homeschool@...>

To:

Sent:

Thu, December

30, 2010

7:04:55 AM

Subject:

( )

Re:

Homeschooling

in California

 

Dear

Meaghan,

I

know where you

are coming

from.  I

pulled my son

out of the

pre-school

handicapped

program when

he was only 3

years old

after just a

few weeks.  I

really

believed that

the classroom

would benefit

his needs.  I

had no worry

about his

ability to

learn.   He

was a little

sponge and

already

reading before

he started the

pre-school

program. 

After only 6

weeks I saw it

wasn't

working.  I

spent at least

3 days a week

called into

school to

handle a

"situation. 

In mid-winter,

I'd have to

bundle a

newborn 10

week early

preemie and

walk to the

school because

my 3 year old

wanted to play

in house

keeping or had

a meltdown

because he

didn't want to

write his name

again.  His

first progress

report was all

check

minuses.  Yet

in the

conference,

the teacher

proceeded to

tell me things

like, "Do you

know

is

the only one

in the class

that knows all

the days of

the week..he

can even read

them?"  "You

son can count

to 100 and he

just turned

3." and "He's

the only child

in the class

who

participates

during circle

time."  Yet

when I

questioned why

his entire

progress

report

indicated

below standard

progress, I

was informed

it was because

he could not

sit still. 

Then two weeks

later I

received a

letter from

the child

study team

informing me

that the

district was

no longer able

to provide

services for

my son.  He

was too

disrupted in

the classroom

and was being

placed in the

residential

program for

severely

multiply

handicapped

children.  I

was able to

"opt" to keep

my toddler

home with me

if I chose and

the school

would

transport him

the one hour

it took to

drive to the

school until

he was 12, at

which time he

would need to

become  a

residential

student unless

I choose to

transport him

myself.

 

Oh

I choose to

transport him

all

right....from

the public

school right

back to my

home...and we

never looked

back.

 

I

officially

began

homeschooling

him from that

day forward. 

I heard all

the woeful

stores about

how he would

never be

socialized. 

But I have yet

to see an

Aspie truly

socialize in

the public

school

setting. 

Instead I see

them

ostracized,

bullied,

picked on and

called weird

because they

see the world

in a different

light.  Yes, I

was told he

would never

learn.  Yet,

He could tell

me the moons

of Mars when

he was 6. 

When I asked

how he know

that, he

matter of

factly told

me, "I looked

it up in the

encyclopedia

when we were

in the Library

this

morning." 

 

I

kept him

involved.  We

participated

in countless

homeschool

activities

including

trips.  But I

was there to

help guide him

him

appropriate

social

behavior, and

other caring

moms were

there to

instruct their

"normal"

kiddos how to

deal with and

accept

's

little

qwirks.  We

went to weekly

play dates in

the park,

monthly roller

skating,

soccer, Cub

Scouts, Boy

Scouts, Sea

Scouts,

Venturing.  He

is an Eagle

Scout, and was

even a Den

Chief for a

Cub Scout Den

for 3 years

starting when

he was 13. 

Today he is a

mentor to an 8

year old ADHD

little boy who

is facing

similar

harassment

that he

experienced

when he was

young.

 

He

graduated with

a 4.0 GPA last

June.  Today

he maintains a

4.0 GPA at a

Technical

Institute and

won a

scholarship

after testing

in the top 10

of the

incoming

freshman.  He

chose the Tech

route the

middle of his

senior year,

after being

accepted into

an Ivy League

University

during his

Junior year of

high

school. He

came to me and

asked if I'd

be really

disappointed

in him if he

decided he

didn't want to

go to

college. 

We sat down

and discussed

the

situation.  He

had a long

list that he

made outlining

his reasons to

choose Tech

School over U

Penn.  His

biggest reason

was he didn't

want to come

out of school

with $100,

000 worth of

debt only to

have to enroll

in the tech

school after

graduation to

prepare for

the 10

Certifications

he needed to

become a

Microsoft

Certified

Systems

  Engineer.  U

Penn would

only give him

a degree in

programming

not which

would not

prepare him to

become a

network

engineer or

administrator. 

He showed me

the data, how

could I

object?  I

don't know

many 17 year

old Seniors

who would even

bother to

research the

job

requirements

and

certifications

needed without

parental or

guidance

counselor

prodding, let

alone decide

they didn't

want to be 21

and in that

much debt in a

society when

the job market

is iffy at

best!

 

Do

I regret my

decision to

homeschool? 

Not on your

life.  My son

is still the

square peg in

the round hole

of education. 

But today he

is a young man

who can ignore

some of the

taunts that he

still faces. 

I was able to

instill in him

a love of

learning, and

a security of

who he is,

what he

believes, and

how to handle

himself when

the going gets

tough.  I

didn't set him

out for the

wolves of

conformity as

a 5 year old. 

It amazes me,

today he tells

me, he knows

he will never

totally fit in

with the rest

of the class. 

But that's ok,

because they

all know who

to come to

when they

don't know how

to put the

network back

together.  He

also tells me,

if he could

change his

life and not

be an Aspie,

he wouldn't,

because he

says, that is

just who he is

and he's ok

with that. 

And if he

didn't have

Aspergers,

then he

wouldn't be

himself.  With

a tear in my

eye, I have to

say, I know I

wasn't that

self assured

or secure in

my life when I

was 18. 

 

You

know your own

child and what

is best for

him.  Go with

your heart and

ignore the

naysayers. 

Your son will

learn and

group and can

become a

confident

young man with

your love and

guidance.

 

If

you choose to

homeschool,

become

familiar with

the laws in

your state. 

http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp

 

Just

click on your

state. 

While

on the HSLDA

website, check

out the other

links,

They

have a

division for

parents with

special needs

children

http://www.hslda.org/strugglinglearner/default.asp

 

Info

on getting

started:

http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starthere/default.asp?bhcp=1

 

And

for finding

local support

groups in your

area:

http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starthere/info.asp

 

Plus

much more.

Hope

this helps.

Best

wishes,

Tricia

 

 

-------original

message----------

Posted

by: "Meaghan

Larson"

I am glad this

topic was

brought up,

Let me start

off by saying

my 4 1/2 year

Old has

Aspergers , he

was only in

school for a

few months in

his local 4k

Program at

school, but in

just that few

months it did

a lot of

damage to him!

He

Was bullied ,

and even his

teacher was

pretty brutal

to him at

times! Before

he

Start school

he was one of

the most

confident

little boys I

have ever

seen, and

When he was in

school he

became

EXTREMELY

insecure and

would tell me

things

Other kids did

and said to

him, and it

just broke my

heart! None of

the other

Kids would

play with him

at recess , he

would just

wonder around

by himself! So

After

observing that

and getting no

feedback or

help from his

teacher I

pulled

Him out! I am

hoping to send

him to the

public school

next year for

pre school

And try it

again ( he

went to our

local private

school for 4

k) But with

the

Specific

problems he

has , I really

dont know if

thats the

appropriate

setting

For him? I

hear stories

about how much

bullying and

trouble that

kids who are

Just like

Connor , but

only older ,

have in public

school , and I

really just

Dont see that

point of

putting my son

through that!

 

When

I talk about

private school

with my family

members they

say " oh well

how

Is he gonna

learn?" and I

just feel like

responding

with " learn

what?!!!"

learn

To change who

is he , and

change the way

he feels most

comfortable

with learning

Because his

teachers and

other typical

kids around

him want him

too? That

hurts

Nobody but my

son!! Ofcourse

I will get my

son involved

in activities

and sports

That he so

chooses to

take an

interest in!

And he will

learn how to

cope with

His aspergers

in situations

that he doesnt

necessarily

feel

comfortable in

, but

I wonder if

public school

is the right

approach to

helping him

change how he

Handles those

situations! He

is very smart

for his age ,

so

homeschooling

would

Be great in

that aspect as

he can work

ahead in areas

he does well

in! But he

Just wasnt

able to learn

when he was in

regular school

, the

distractions

of

Noise , and

other sensory

issues were

just too

overwhelming

for him to

learn in!

So is it bad

to have him be

home schooled

? I feel like

I should

atleast

Encourage him

to give it one

more go in the

public school

system ,

because he is

So young! I

just dont want

the bullying

or other

issues that he

will go

through

To damage him

, and make him

depressed! And

most of all I

dont want it

to make

Him not like

learning ,

because he

looooved to

learn with me

before he

started

School! But

now he is so

insecure I

cant even get

him to sit

down and color

a

Picture with

me! I wanna do

whats best for

my son , and I

understand

every

Child goes

through

bullying at

some point in

time or

another in

school , but I

Just worry

that if I

continue to

send him to

public school

and wait until

things

Get bad before

home schooling

him that the

damage will

already be

done to him!

Any incite any

parents wanna

give me I'm

totally open

to hearing!

And I hope no

One thinks I'm

bashing public

school or

anything ,

because my

nephews have

autism

And they have

an AMAZING

public school

they go too!

Sadly tho ,

the schools in

my area are

not to

concerned with

children with

disabilities!

 

Meaghan

 

 

..

 

Posted

by: "Meaghan

Larson" meaghanlarson@...   meaghanlarson

Wed

Dec 29, 2010

5:55 PM (PST)

I am glad this

topic was

brought up,

Let me start

off by saying

my 4 1/2 year

Old has

Aspergers , he

was only in

school for a

few months in

his local 4k

Program at

school, but in

just that few

months it did

a lot of

damage to him!

He

Was bullied ,

and even his

teacher was

pretty brutal

to him at

times! Before

he

Start school

he was one of

the most

confident

little boys I

have ever

seen, and

When he was in

school he

became

EXTREMELY

insecure and

would tell me

things

Other kids did

and said to

him, and it

just broke my

heart! None of

the other

Kids would

play with him

at recess , he

would just

wonder around

by himself! So

After

observing that

and getting no

feedback or

help from his

teacher I

pulled

Him out! I am

hoping to send

him to the

public school

next year for

pre school

And try it

again ( he

went to our

local private

school for 4

k) But with

the

Specific

problems he

has , I really

dont know if

thats the

appropriate

setting

For him? I

hear stories

about how much

bullying and

trouble that

kids who are

Just like

Connor , but

only older ,

have in public

school , and I

really just

Dont see that

point of

putting my son

through that!

When I talk

about private

school with my

family members

they say " oh

well how

Is he gonna

learn?" and I

just feel like

responding

with " learn

what?!!!"

learn

To change who

is he , and

change the way

he feels most

comfortable

with learning

Because his

teachers and

other typical

kids around

him want him

too? That

hurts

Nobody but my

son!! Ofcourse

I will get my

son involved

in activities

and sports

That he so

chooses to

take an

interest in!

And he will

learn how to

cope with

His aspergers

in situations

that he doesnt

necessarily

feel

comfortable in

, but

I wonder if

public school

is the right

approach to

helping him

change how he

Handles those

situations! He

is very smart

for his age ,

so

homeschooling

would

Be great in

that aspect as

he can work

ahead in areas

he does well

in! But he

Just wasnt

able to learn

when he was in

regular school

, the

distractions

of

Noise , and

other sensory

issues were

just too

overwhelming

for him to

learn in!

So is it bad

to have him be

home schooled

? I feel like

I should

atleast

Encourage him

to give it one

more go in the

public school

system ,

because he is

So young! I

just dont want

the bullying

or other

issues that he

will go

through

To damage him

, and make him

depressed! And

most of all I

dont want it

to make

Him not like

learning ,

because he

looooved to

learn with me

before he

started

School! But

now he is so

insecure I

cant even get

him to sit

down and color

a

Picture with

me! I wanna do

whats best for

my son , and I

understand

every

Child goes

through

bullying at

some point in

time or

another in

school , but I

Just worry

that if I

continue to

send him to

public school

and wait until

things

Get bad before

home schooling

him that the

damage will

already be

done to him!

Any incite any

parents wanna

give me I'm

totally open

to hearing!

And I hope no

One thinks I'm

bashing public

school or

anything ,

because my

nephews have

autism

And they have

an AMAZING

public school

they go too!

Sadly tho ,

the schools in

My area are

not to

concerned with

children with

disabilities!

Meaghan