Guest guest Posted September 2, 2001 Report Share Posted September 2, 2001 In a message dated 9/2/01 12:41:32 PM Eastern Daylight Time, GPesses@... writes: << When was younger (around 10) and having mucho problems with " the day after " sleepovers, we compromised by letting her attend the sleepover, but picking her up as the other children settled down to sleep so that she would sleep in her own bed and get that quality sleep she had to have >> Hi Gail, This is exactly what has decided (on his own) is the best thing for him to do. After going from not being able to go to sleepovers at all (because of his OCD), to wanting to go to sleepovers every weekend and coming home tired and ratty with his OCD flaring up again, he just didn't think it was worth it anymore (although this went on for a looooong painful year before he come to this realization). Now he feels comfortable enough with his friends to go and hang out with them and then leave at 11 or so. I think it is a great compromise. How is dealing with it? I think it took a bit of maturity to set in for to see the logic in this on his own. I hope she is feeling better about school. starts on Tuesday and I'm hoping this year will be a bit better than last year. I don't expect smooth sailing but even if there are small improvements, I'll be happy. Take care, /NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2001 Report Share Posted September 2, 2001 Dear Everyone, I like the idea of "semi-sleepovers", although I can guarantee that Annie wouldn't go for it. Maybe as she gets older and sees that it's not worth the trauma. With parties I could probably talk her into it, but when it is just her at a friend's , or just a friend here, she'd never agree. Even with parties she would be too embarassed to leave early these days. I'm hoping to have a calm discussion with her some time this week about how she feels while she is at a friend's, or when one is here. Maybe she will tell me whether she is plagued by OCD so we can sort out whether it is a quality of sleep issue or something else. I appreciate everyone's feedback. Once again I am surprised at how common this problem seems to be among our kids. It still surprises me that we are all struggling with such similar issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 3, 2001 Report Share Posted September 3, 2001 , You may have received all the comments you needed on sleepovers, but I'm just getting caught up on posts to the list in the last few days, so here's my experience. When was at the age that sleepovers were popular, (and the day after was very nasty for anyone who had to be around her), I stopped sleepovers for her except for once a year, her birthday. She attended some parties, doing the " leave early " thing, and used her " mean mom " not letting her stay as her excuse. That was fine with me, and kind of gave her an out. We still found plenty of fun social opportunities for her: Ice-skating, sledding, roller-skating, bowling, etc. Part of the reason that I stopped sleepovers at my house was that " I " couldn't stand them! The girls would not settle down and go to sleep, and " I " need my sleep. So, I guess I earned the title of " crabby mom " . :-) Marlys in SC - -- In @y..., xslav@a... wrote: > Dear Everyone, > I like the idea of " semi-sleepovers " , Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2001 Report Share Posted September 4, 2001 I've been out of commission for awhile since my MIL is staying in the guest room where my computer is. Anyway, here's my two cents worth on this issue. It's typical to be crabby when you don't get enough sleep; however, our ocders go beyond crabby and their need for sleep seems to be more important. This is true of my daughter, Ava. I realized that she does not have the maturity to regulate her sleep schedule, nor to recognize (or perhaps acknowledge) her crankiness the next day. So I gotta make the decision whether she " sees " it or not..........and I gotta take the heat. But only a little! I do not let her vent on me, that's what her friends, her journal, her room are for. I told her I would talk to her about any ideas she had for helping to strategize to reduce her crankiness (get extra sleep a few nights before, plan activities that are low conflict the next day, etc) but I would NOT listen to her diatribes about how she was not cranky or all the other kids get to or you're so mean. I repeat to myself: it is not my job to make her happy; it is my job to set up the conditions where happiness is a possible outcome. Dana in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 My son always did fine with sleepovers. There were a few bumps sometimes, but nothing catastrophic or anything. Remember that this kid knows your son so he's probably familiar with how your son acts. I say go for it! From: nicolea102602 <nicolea102602@...> Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:55:12 PMSubject: ( ) sleepovers ok- gonna just throw this out there....Any experiences and advice on sleepovers when you have an Aspie child? My son is almost 6.5 yrs old. And of course he is more comfortable with kids who are younger or older than him than kids his own age. He has befriended a boy across the street who just turned 8. They want to have a sleep over at our house. I am not so sure... but yet I think it is so great that he made a new friend. We have been working on our social stories of the nuances of friendship. Role playing too. I think if I lay down a few ground rules as any parent would... well- I think he just might follow them! Any suggestions? Am I being too brave here?What are your experiences with sleepovers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 My son is 5 and did a sleepover at an 8-year old's house. We have known this family since my son was a baby. They thought it was a bit odd that he insisted on getting undressed at exactly 8 pm and then wandered around the house dressed only in his socks, but, hey, no problem! He had a great time! > > ok- gonna just throw this out there.... > > Any experiences and advice on sleepovers when you have an Aspie child? > > My son is almost 6.5 yrs old. And of course he is more comfortable with kids who are younger or older than him than kids his own age. He has befriended a boy across the street who just turned 8. They want to have a sleep over at our house. I am not so sure... but yet I think it is so great that he made a new friend. > We have been working on our social stories of the nuances of friendship. Role playing too. I think if I lay down a few ground rules as any parent would... well- I think he just might follow them! > Any suggestions? Am I being too brave here? > > What are your experiences with sleepovers? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 We haven't had any problems with sleepovers with Isaac's friend. Isaac has spent the night there, and the friend has slept here. It helps if both sets of parents have the same expectations and the kids are taught that different families have different rules, so you have to follow BOTH sets when you're spending the night. Eleanor, San , CA Aspie son Isaac, 10.5 years old On 02/17/2011 16:55 , nicolea102602 wrote: > ok- gonna just throw this out there.... > > Any experiences and advice on sleepovers when you have an Aspie child? > > My son is almost 6.5 yrs old. And of course he is more comfortable with > kids who are younger or older than him than kids his own age. He has > befriended a boy across the street who just turned 8. They want to have > a sleep over at our house. I am not so sure... but yet I think it is so > great that he made a new friend. > We have been working on our social stories of the nuances of friendship. > Role playing too. I think if I lay down a few ground rules as any parent > would... well- I think he just might follow them! > Any suggestions? Am I being too brave here? > > What are your experiences with sleepovers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 2011 Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 My dd does fine with sleepovers too. I just have to make sure she only stays up, at most, an hour late b/c staying up late so badly effects her next days moods On 2/17/11, nicolea102602 <nicolea102602@...> wrote: > ok- gonna just throw this out there.... > > Any experiences and advice on sleepovers when you have an Aspie child? > > My son is almost 6.5 yrs old. And of course he is more comfortable with > kids who are younger or older than him than kids his own age. He has > befriended a boy across the street who just turned 8. They want to have a > sleep over at our house. I am not so sure... but yet I think it is so > great that he made a new friend. > We have been working on our social stories of the nuances of friendship. > Role playing too. I think if I lay down a few ground rules as any parent > would... well- I think he just might follow them! > Any suggestions? Am I being too brave here? > > What are your experiences with sleepovers? > > -- Sent from my mobile device -mommy to Emma, Becca, , , , and Leah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 2011 Report Share Posted February 18, 2011 We just had our first sleepover this year and my son is 11. It was fine, since it was at our house and we could monitor everything. At someone else's house, I would be nervous, especially since your son is only 6. But just plan activities for the boys to do in the evening, and then plan to have a movie ready for them to watch to settle them down for bed at a reasonable time and I think it will be ok.Let us know how it goes!Suzanne (in Mi)Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "nicolea102602" <nicolea102602@...>Sender: Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2011 00:55:12 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) sleepovers ok- gonna just throw this out there....Any experiences and advice on sleepovers when you have an Aspie child? My son is almost 6.5 yrs old. And of course he is more comfortable with kids who are younger or older than him than kids his own age. He has befriended a boy across the street who just turned 8. They want to have a sleep over at our house. I am not so sure... but yet I think it is so great that he made a new friend. We have been working on our social stories of the nuances of friendship. Role playing too. I think if I lay down a few ground rules as any parent would... well- I think he just might follow them! Any suggestions? Am I being too brave here?What are your experiences with sleepovers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2011 Report Share Posted February 20, 2011 My daughter was around 10 when her best friend slept over. Her best friend was 2 years older and not on the spectrum. My daughter is not Aspie but autistic. She is now 28. Back then they didn't have things like they do now. The internet was almost non-existant. I had her friend come over and we would play act out what happens doing a sleep over. I made sure both were comfortable with it. When the day arrived Marcy was very nervous, but I got special videos for them and we made cookies and even made candy. I had all their favorite treats and we even went to Mcs for dinner. They had a great time and things went smoothly. Her friend Kate seemed to be more nervous about it then Marcy was but since she was at our house so much she soon calmed down. My son has had several sleepovers with his friends. is almost 3 years younger then his sister and not on the spectrum. He is ADHD and ODD and dylexic. We always let Marcy know when one of 's friends was going to stay over. At first she was anxious but soon would calm down when her routine wasn't disturbed. All these years later (25) still has many of his friends staying over. He just graduated, getting his Masters and is developing an app for the Android phone first and soon the iPhones that teach social and life skills. Besides doing this he is working on websites. We want to make sure he has enough money to live on before he leaves home. His sister at age 28 still get anxious when one of his friends comes to visit, but she knows them and they know her and always include her in things they are doing. takes his sister with them when they eat out. We have a large house so even when 6 friends sleep over they don't get in each others way. The first day Marcy might be anxious but after that she fits right in. She told me she wished she had female friends that live closer so they could sleep over. Her one female friend lives 5 hours away and doesn't drive. All her other friends are men and they are much older than her. Marcy is also schizophrenic as are all of her friends so it makes it harder for her. Like your so when she was younger all her friends were either 2-4 years older than her or 2 years younger. That seems to be common in kids on the spectrum. > > ok- gonna just throw this out there.... > > Any experiences and advice on sleepovers when you have an Aspie child? > > My son is almost 6.5 yrs old. And of course he is more comfortable with kids who are younger or older than him than kids his own age. He has befriended a boy across the street who just turned 8. They want to have a sleep over at our house. I am not so sure... but yet I think it is so great that he made a new friend. > We have been working on our social stories of the nuances of friendship. Role playing too. I think if I lay down a few ground rules as any parent would... well- I think he just might follow them! > Any suggestions? Am I being too brave here? > > What are your experiences with sleepovers? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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