Hi - new to group

[Guest guest]

Please buy " Healing the New Childhood Epidemics " by Bock.

This is the best book on autism (also ADHD, allergies, asthma) that

I have ever read. He gives you step by step advice and he is great.

>

> Hi, my name is & I'm new to this group. I live in Los

Angeles. My little Dean turned 2

> last Oct. The month before, Sept, the word 'autism' entered my

world as a possibility for

> some of his dev. delays, so I began an obsessive amount of

researching. He was evaluated

> & diagnosed with ASD in Nov. (confirmed with 2 additional,

independent evals). Began our

> Reg. Ctr. svcs mid-Jan (incls. 15 hrs ABA, 2 hrs OT, & 2 hrs ST a

wk).

>

> Now that therapies have begun, my obsessive research is now

focused on how I can best

> support Dean nutritionally. Read both DeFelice's books,

both of which I could not

> put down. Absolutely hooked on the idea of enzymes to the point

of obsession. Friends

> avoid me because all conversations with me somehow end up with me

talking about

> enzymes & mucosal linings. I'm a self-professed nerd, & proud to

be so. Just ordered

> Children w/Starving Brains & can't wait for it to arrive. But I

have many questions & want

> more information... which brings me here.

>

> I started both my boys (also have a 6yr old, neuro-typical) on

Peptizyde & Zyme Prime

> about 2 weeks ago. Already seeing some changes for the better in

behavior with both.

>

> I'm sure you'll being seeing lots of questions coming from me, but

for now, just wanted to

> introduce myself. Having this group available is an invaluable

gift. Thanks to all who are a

> part of it.

>

> If you have any advice for someone like me who is just starting

with the enzymes... like

> things you wish you had known sooner... I welcome & appreciate any

and all advice.

> -

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to

introduce my self and give a little history.

My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by

a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially

evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.

We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle

Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too

harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.

For first grade he wanted to try " real " school so we wanted to support him and

give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher

was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And

that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents

weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to

change his class or do anything.

The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice,

allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight

over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began

talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The

room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her

authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their

behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off

the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And

the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son

started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces

uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week.

The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously

accumulated tardies and absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was

suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office.

Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide

but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to

go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back

and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about

it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my

baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there

were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power

struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being " pratically " tackled to

the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned

that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to

keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with her - instead of going to the

cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school.

The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations

appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove

the aide from working with my son or his class.

We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public

school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year.

We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as

education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be

enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going

to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can

offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all

his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on

our own. I'm scared and overwhelmed.

Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering

support as well.

[Guest guest]

Just curious, what kind of services were outlined in the IEP?? Even if your child is homeschooled, if there were things like Occupational therapy, Speech therapy that were not actually part of the class, he should still be receiving, that is mandated by law.

Carolyn

From: SoCalVal <socalval@...> Sent: Sun, March 6, 2011 1:10:45 AMSubject: ( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his class

or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and absences,

they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with her -

instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and overwhelmed.

Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

[Guest guest]



Well the first IEP services were to have the SAI work with writing 5 days a week for 1/2 hr each day - The homeschool IEP changed to working with SAI only 2 times a month for 1/2 hr.

The old IEP gave my son once a week to work with O.T one on one and more O.T time with the classroom once a week. The new IEP only offers 1 time a month, half hour consult with O.T. This is okay because she is very very good and in a homeschool environment the sensory issues aren't as much of a problem.

The old IEP gave my son once a week with SLP and the new IEP gives my son once a week. We were excited about this because this is where his biggest deficit is. But here is where our bad luck continued. We met with her and she didn't even try to warm up with my son. She told me right off the bat she only agreed to take my son if he could be paired up with another kid at the same time slot but there were no other kids dealing with the same issues so she isn't happy that she has to take him one on one during a time she had reserved for her to get paper work done.

While we were there, she chose a game to play with my son. She only told him half of the rules (I thought this was on purpose to see how he would react but she confessed to me later, she really did forget to tell him the other rule of the game. The rule she forgot was she wanted him to make a sentence out of the word card that he drew. This upset him because he thought it was a game and was happy to play but when work was expected of him he wasn't interested and was quite honestly disappointed. Mind you the old SLP he loved, she was sweet and fun and he had a hard time agreeing to come to the new one. I promised him it would be fun (I shouldn't have made that promise). When he didn't want to make the sentence she asked of him, she got very impatient and kept pushing saying "well you can make the sentence or we can put the game away. Which do you chose?" He said meekly, "I want to play but you should have told me about all the rules at the beggining". Her answer was "well I should have but I didn't. There is something called house rules and that means this is my house and I make the rules and my rule is that I can change the rules anytime I want ... " I was so shocked. My heart sank. This is not going to win my son over. He is never going to want to come back. She kept pushing until he was almost upset in tears. I intervened and asked what is the purpose of this? She said she is going to have him work on problem solving. When I asked what will she do in future visits when he is one on one? She told me she will do what she did that day. She used the word "sabotage". " I will sabotage him to see how he handles it. I wasn't going to discuss it any further with my son present. I've been stewing about it all weekend.

When it was time to go he asked about the treasure box that she had on the table (for kids to pick a toy from). He got to do that every visit at his old school. Her answer was, "sorry you don't get to do that at every visit" He looked down at the ground and meekly asked "well, when do I get to?" And she said well we'll see, it depends on how good you do at your visits with me. She just lost another opportunity to win him over. I don't even want to take him back. I don't think she has any experience with kids on the spectrum and she doesn't even appear to have any experience working with kids!!!!! I don't see how this is working on the things he needs to learn. I can play games with him at home and try to upset him if that is my goal. That's ridiculous don't you think? I don't think I need to subject him to that and I'm learning that even the "experts" are way off sometimes.

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.449 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3484 - Release Date: 03/05/11 19:34:00

[Guest guest]

This sounds utterly outrageous to me! Get him away from this woman! What is he going to see an OT for? Is it for sensory issues? She sounds like a moron to me!

If you are trying to teach our children appropriate behaviors that are more socially acceptable you don't do it by "sabotaging" him . You must teach by example. Addressing inappropriate behavior with inappropriate behavior?? How is that suppose to work?

Her approach seems to me, would foster humiliation, anger and hatred from any child, none of which are conducive to furthering social awareness and encouraging emotional connection with others.

You and your son sound like you've had enough negativity to last you a while!! Don't let this lady dump anymore on either one of you. I would not take him back if I were you. But that is just my own opinion.

You are a strong person, and you should trust your instincts. <<Big hug>> to you and your son!

ne

From: SoCalVal <socalval@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Hi - new to group Date: Sunday, March 6, 2011, 4:11 PM

 Well the first IEP services were to have the SAI work with writing 5 days a week for 1/2 hr each day - The homeschool IEP changed to working with SAI only 2 times a month for 1/2 hr.

The old IEP gave my son once a week to work with O.T one on one and more O.T time with the classroom once a week. The new IEP only offers 1 time a month, half hour consult with O.T. This is okay because she is very very good and in a homeschool environment the sensory issues aren't as much of a problem.

The old IEP gave my son once a week with SLP and the new IEP gives my son once a week. We were excited about this because this is where his biggest deficit is. But here is where our bad luck continued. We met with her and she didn't even try to warm up with my son. She told me right off the bat she only agreed to take my son if he could be paired up with another kid at the same time slot but there were no other kids dealing with the same issues so she isn't happy that she has to take him one on one during a time she had reserved for her to get paper work done.

While we were there, she chose a game to play with my son. She only told him half of the rules (I thought this was on purpose to see how he would react but she confessed to me later, she really did forget to tell him the other rule of the game. The rule she forgot was she wanted him to make a sentence out of the word card that he drew. This upset him because he thought it was a game and was happy to play but when work was expected of him he wasn't interested and was quite honestly disappointed. Mind you the old SLP he loved, she was sweet and fun and he had a hard time agreeing to come to the new one. I promised him it would be fun (I shouldn't have made that promise). When he didn't want to make the sentence she asked of him, she got very impatient and kept pushing saying "well you can make the sentence or we can put the game away. Which do you chose?" He said meekly, "I want to play but

you should have told me about all the rules at the beggining". Her answer was "well I should have but I didn't. There is something called house rules and that means this is my house and I make the rules and my rule is that I can change the rules anytime I want ... " I was so shocked. My heart sank. This is not going to win my son over. He is never going to want to come back. She kept pushing until he was almost upset in tears. I intervened and asked what is the purpose of this? She said she is going to have him work on problem solving. When I asked what will she do in future visits when he is one on one? She told me she will do what she did that day. She used the word "sabotage". " I will sabotage him to see how he handles it. I wasn't going to discuss it any further with my son present. I've been stewing about it all weekend.

When it was time to go he asked about the treasure box that she had on the table (for kids to pick a toy from). He got to do that every visit at his old school. Her answer was, "sorry you don't get to do that at every visit" He looked down at the ground and meekly asked "well, when do I get to?" And she said well we'll see, it depends on how good you do at your visits with me. She just lost another opportunity to win him over. I don't even want to take him back. I don't think she has any experience with kids on the spectrum and she doesn't even appear to have any experience working with kids!!!!! I don't see how this is working on the things he needs to learn. I can play games with him at home and try to upset him if that is my goal. That's ridiculous don't you think? I don't think I need to subject him to that and I'm learning that even the "experts" are way off sometimes.

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his

class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and

absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with

her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and

overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.449 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3484 - Release Date: 03/05/11 19:34:00

[Guest guest]

Ditto to what Suzanne just said! That is ridiculous. Our behavioral therapist used to play games and not always let SDylan win to teach how to deal with frustration, but not until they built a rapport and trust between the two of them. The lady working with your son is wrong and you should trust your instincts!Sent from my iPhoneOn Mar 6, 2011, at 8:49 PM, susanne hansen <s_hansen34@...> wrote:

This sounds utterly outrageous to me! Get him away from this woman! What is he going to see an OT for? Is it for sensory issues? She sounds like a moron to me!

If you are trying to teach our children appropriate behaviors that are more socially acceptable you don't do it by "sabotaging" him . You must teach by example. Addressing inappropriate behavior with inappropriate behavior?? How is that suppose to work?

Her approach seems to me, would foster humiliation, anger and hatred from any child, none of which are conducive to furthering social awareness and encouraging emotional connection with others.

You and your son sound like you've had enough negativity to last you a while!! Don't let this lady dump anymore on either one of you. I would not take him back if I were you. But that is just my own opinion.

You are a strong person, and you should trust your instincts. <<Big hug>> to you and your son!

ne

From: SoCalVal <socalval@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Hi - new to group Date: Sunday, March 6, 2011, 4:11 PM

 Well the first IEP services were to have the SAI work with writing 5 days a week for 1/2 hr each day - The homeschool IEP changed to working with SAI only 2 times a month for 1/2 hr.

The old IEP gave my son once a week to work with O.T one on one and more O.T time with the classroom once a week. The new IEP only offers 1 time a month, half hour consult with O.T. This is okay because she is very very good and in a homeschool environment the sensory issues aren't as much of a problem.

The old IEP gave my son once a week with SLP and the new IEP gives my son once a week. We were excited about this because this is where his biggest deficit is. But here is where our bad luck continued. We met with her and she didn't even try to warm up with my son. She told me right off the bat she only agreed to take my son if he could be paired up with another kid at the same time slot but there were no other kids dealing with the same issues so she isn't happy that she has to take him one on one during a time she had reserved for her to get paper work done.

While we were there, she chose a game to play with my son. She only told him half of the rules (I thought this was on purpose to see how he would react but she confessed to me later, she really did forget to tell him the other rule of the game. The rule she forgot was she wanted him to make a sentence out of the word card that he drew. This upset him because he thought it was a game and was happy to play but when work was expected of him he wasn't interested and was quite honestly disappointed. Mind you the old SLP he loved, she was sweet and fun and he had a hard time agreeing to come to the new one. I promised him it would be fun (I shouldn't have made that promise). When he didn't want to make the sentence she asked of him, she got very impatient and kept pushing saying "well you can make the sentence or we can put the game away. Which do you chose?" He said meekly, "I want to play but

you should have told me about all the rules at the beggining". Her answer was "well I should have but I didn't. There is something called house rules and that means this is my house and I make the rules and my rule is that I can change the rules anytime I want ... " I was so shocked. My heart sank. This is not going to win my son over. He is never going to want to come back. She kept pushing until he was almost upset in tears. I intervened and asked what is the purpose of this? She said she is going to have him work on problem solving. When I asked what will she do in future visits when he is one on one? She told me she will do what she did that day. She used the word "sabotage". " I will sabotage him to see how he handles it. I wasn't going to discuss it any further with my son present. I've been stewing about it all weekend.

When it was time to go he asked about the treasure box that she had on the table (for kids to pick a toy from). He got to do that every visit at his old school. Her answer was, "sorry you don't get to do that at every visit" He looked down at the ground and meekly asked "well, when do I get to?" And she said well we'll see, it depends on how good you do at your visits with me. She just lost another opportunity to win him over. I don't even want to take him back. I don't think she has any experience with kids on the spectrum and she doesn't even appear to have any experience working with kids!!!!! I don't see how this is working on the things he needs to learn. I can play games with him at home and try to upset him if that is my goal. That's ridiculous don't you think? I don't think I need to subject him to that and I'm learning that even the "experts" are way off sometimes.

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his

class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and

absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with

her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and

overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

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[Guest guest]

Wow, your experience sounds very similar to mine when my son was in first grade.

After fighting the school all year it was only after I threatened to sue the

school over the teacher's verbal abuse of my son that the school did anything.

They never admitted to any wrong doing but removed the teacher from the class.

You are right to remove your son from that toxic environment. You will never

change the school's attitude even if you were to successfully win a law suit

against them. For us after several years of struggling with the school district

we opted to move to a new school district which I knew had very good special ed.

We moved only a short distance but I felt like I had totally changed planets

because the new school's attitude was so positive and willing that it was almost

too good to be true. That was 8 years ago now. I have never regetted the

decision to move. I only wish that I had thought of it sooner.

I also read your post about the SLP. Run and don't ever return to that SLP. My

son had a severe language disability and therefore had speech therapy from age 2

thru age 7. Not one SLP that treated my son ever attempted to sabotage him

during a session. I know because I sat in on every session. You need a SLP who

encourages your son to try. Every SLP that we worked with always allowed a few

minutes at the end of each session to allow my son to play with his favorite

game as a reward while she talked with me on what to do between appointments.

Caroline

>

>

>

> Just curious, what kind of services were outlined in the IEP??  Even if your

> child is homeschooled, if there were things like Occupational therapy, Speech

> therapy that were not actually part of the class, he should still be

receiving,

> that is mandated by law.

> Carolyn

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: SoCalVal <socalval@...>

>

> Sent: Sun, March 6, 2011 1:10:45 AM

> Subject: ( ) Hi - new to group

>

>  

> Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to

> introduce my self and give a little history.

> My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010

by

> a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially

> evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.

>

> We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle

> Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too

> harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.

>

> For first grade he wanted to try " real " school so we wanted to support him and

> give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher

> was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y!

And

> that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents

> weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to

> change his class or do anything.

>

>

> The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice,

> allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight

> over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began

> talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all.

The

> room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her

> authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move

their

> behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids

off

> the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare!

And

> the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son

> started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces

> uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week.

>

>

> The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously

> accumulated tardies and absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son

was

> suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office.

>

>

> Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide

> but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED

to

> go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned

back

> and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk

about

> it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my

> baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there

> were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power

> struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being " pratically " tackled to

> the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also

learned

> that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to

> keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with her - instead of going to the

> cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school.

>

>

> The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations

> appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove

> the aide from working with my son or his class.

>

>

> We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public

> school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year.

>

>

> We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as

> education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will

be

> enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going

> to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can

> offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet

all

> his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on

> our own. I'm scared and overwhelmed.

>

>

> Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and

offering

> support as well.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]



Thank you ne and . And to think - I only told you half of our session with her! My instinct told me (before we even left her office) to never go back but it sure does help to have it confirmed by another person. For a moment I was worried about losing that service as it is the main problem my son is having. It's too bad that we have to give up services because of her. If only I could find find a social skills group I might feel better about refusing this service. We can't seem to find one for 6-7 yr old age group.

His O.T services were for sensory issues and self regulation - how does your engine run sort of stuff. Also to exerpiment with different fidget toys, seat pads, weighted lap mat etc. These were all things he desperately needed while in the classroom but now with homeschool not so much. I was really wanting to learn about that self regulation though. Has anyone used the HOw does your engine run program with their child?

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

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[Guest guest]

I went through something similar with the Speech Therapist and my son, some teacher humiliate children. My advice terminate her services, write a complaint, that is what I did. Now he has a great Speech Therapist and a good O.T.Good luck, From: SoCalVal <socalval@...> Sent: Sun, March 6, 2011 4:11:56 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Hi - new to group



Well the first IEP services were to have the SAI work with writing 5 days a week for 1/2 hr each day - The homeschool IEP changed to working with SAI only 2 times a month for 1/2 hr.

The old IEP gave my son once a week to work with O.T one on one and more O.T time with the classroom once a week. The new IEP only offers 1 time a month, half hour consult with O.T. This is okay because she is very very good and in a homeschool environment the sensory issues aren't as much of a problem.

The old IEP gave my son once a week with SLP and the new IEP gives my son once a week. We were excited about this because this is where his biggest deficit is. But here is where our bad luck continued. We met with her and she didn't even try to warm up with my son. She told me right off the bat she only agreed to take my son if he could be paired up with another kid at the same time slot but there were no other kids dealing with the same issues so she isn't happy that she has to take him one on one during a time she had reserved for her to get paper work done.

While we were there, she chose a game to play with my son. She only told him half of the rules (I thought this was on purpose to see how he would react but she confessed to me later, she really did forget to tell him the other rule of the game. The rule she forgot was she wanted him to make a sentence out of the word card that he drew. This upset him because he thought it was a game and was happy to play but when work was expected of him he wasn't interested and was quite honestly disappointed. Mind you the old SLP he loved, she was sweet and fun and he had a hard time agreeing to come to the new one. I promised him it would be fun (I shouldn't have made that promise). When he didn't want to make the sentence she asked of him, she got very impatient and kept pushing saying "well you can make the sentence or we can put the game away. Which do you chose?" He said meekly, "I want to play but you should have told me about all the rules at the beggining". Her answer was "well I should have but I didn't. There is something called house rules and that means this is my house and I make the rules and my rule is that I can change the rules anytime I want ... " I was so shocked. My heart sank. This is not going to win my son over. He is never going to want to come back. She kept pushing until he was almost upset in tears. I intervened and asked what is the purpose of this? She said she is going to have him work on problem solving. When I asked what will she do in future visits when he is one on one? She told me she will do what she did that day. She used the word "sabotage". " I will sabotage him to see how he handles it. I wasn't going to discuss it any further with my son present. I've been stewing about it all weekend.

When it was time to go he asked about the treasure box that she had on the table (for kids to pick a toy from). He got to do that every visit at his old school. Her answer was, "sorry you don't get to do that at every visit" He looked down at the ground and meekly asked "well, when do I get to?" And she said well we'll see, it depends on how good you do at your visits with me. She just lost another opportunity to win him over. I don't even want to take him back. I don't think she has any experience with kids on the spectrum and she doesn't even appear to have any experience working with kids!!!!! I don't see how this is working on the things he needs to learn. I can play games with him at home and try to upset him if that is my goal. That's ridiculous don't you think? I don't think I need to subject him to that and I'm learning that even the "experts" are way off sometimes.

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

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[Guest guest]

Sounds like your speech therapist is all about seeing if she can piss people off so she doesn't have to do any work. Sorry anyone would be like this to you. I know how you feel, but from the entire ARD committee (who likes to laugh at me, cause it certainly isn't with me). Anyway, I would demand another placement, and would go so far as to do due process over it, just to prove a point... I would also video tape it if I went again, although I would probably never go again...

Thanks,

Carolyn

From: SoCalVal <socalval@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 12:15:21 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Hi - new to group

 Thank you ne and . And to think - I only told you half of our session with her! My instinct told me (before we even left her office) to never go back but it sure does help to have it confirmed by another person. For a moment I was worried about losing that service as it is the main problem my son is having. It's too bad that we have to give up services because of her. If only I could find find a social skills group I might feel better about refusing this service. We can't seem to find one for 6-7 yr old age group.

His O.T services were for sensory issues and self regulation - how does your engine run sort of stuff. Also to exerpiment with different fidget toys, seat pads, weighted lap mat etc. These were all things he desperately needed while in the classroom but now with homeschool not so much. I was really wanting to learn about that self regulation though. Has anyone used the HOw does your engine run program with their child?

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his

class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and

absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with

her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and

overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

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[Guest guest]

,

Can't you still get these services from a different provider? How was this lady picked for your son? You could say that it wasn't a good fit for your son and you want someone else. I don't see why you should have to loose the services. You're not refusing the service just this particular provider. I'd see if there is a way to get someone new. ne

From: SoCalVal <socalval@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Hi - new to group Date: Sunday, March 6, 2011, 4:11 PM

 Well the first IEP services were to have the SAI work with writing 5 days a week for 1/2 hr each day - The homeschool IEP changed to working with SAI only 2 times a month for 1/2 hr.

The old IEP gave my son once a week to work with O.T one on one and more O.T time with the classroom once a week. The new IEP only offers 1 time a month, half hour consult with O.T. This is okay because she is very very good and in a homeschool environment the sensory issues aren't as much of a problem.

The old IEP gave my son once a week with SLP and the new IEP gives my son once a week. We were excited about this because this is where his biggest deficit is. But here is where our bad luck continued. We met with her and she didn't even try to warm up with my son. She told me right off the bat she only agreed to take my son if he could be paired up with another kid at the same time slot but there were no other kids dealing with the same issues so she isn't happy that she has to take him one on one during a time she had reserved for her to get paper work done.

While we were there, she chose a game to play with my son. She only told him half of the rules (I thought this was on purpose to see how he would react but she confessed to me later, she really did forget to tell him the other rule of the game. The rule she forgot was she wanted him to make a sentence out of the word card that he drew. This upset him because he thought it was a game and was happy to play but when work was expected of him he wasn't interested and was quite honestly disappointed. Mind you the old SLP he loved, she was sweet and fun and he had a hard time agreeing to come to the new one. I promised him it would be fun (I shouldn't have made that promise). When he didn't want to make the sentence she asked of him, she got very impatient and kept pushing saying "well you can make the sentence or we can put the game away. Which do you chose?" He said meekly, "I want to play but

you should have told me about all the rules at the beggining". Her answer was "well I should have but I didn't. There is something called house rules and that means this is my house and I make the rules and my rule is that I can change the rules anytime I want ... " I was so shocked. My heart sank. This is not going to win my son over. He is never going to want to come back. She kept pushing until he was almost upset in tears. I intervened and asked what is the purpose of this? She said she is going to have him work on problem solving. When I asked what will she do in future visits when he is one on one? She told me she will do what she did that day. She used the word "sabotage". " I will sabotage him to see how he handles it. I wasn't going to discuss it any further with my son present. I've been stewing about it all weekend.

When it was time to go he asked about the treasure box that she had on the table (for kids to pick a toy from). He got to do that every visit at his old school. Her answer was, "sorry you don't get to do that at every visit" He looked down at the ground and meekly asked "well, when do I get to?" And she said well we'll see, it depends on how good you do at your visits with me. She just lost another opportunity to win him over. I don't even want to take him back. I don't think she has any experience with kids on the spectrum and she doesn't even appear to have any experience working with kids!!!!! I don't see how this is working on the things he needs to learn. I can play games with him at home and try to upset him if that is my goal. That's ridiculous don't you think? I don't think I need to subject him to that and I'm learning that even the "experts" are way off sometimes.

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his

class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and

absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with

her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and

overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

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Hi,

I was starting to wonder if that was possibility. We're in CA and I don't know if it's because of all the budget cuts or if it's just the way they do things here (we're from MI originally) but there is only one OT for the 4 schools in the district so I wonder if there is only one SLP as well. I will have to ask. I was going back and forth in my head all week on how to handle it. It was so disapointing - and shocking really, how she treated my son that I just wanted to throw in the towel after all the other disapointing professionals we've come across. I thought I will just keep looking for a private SLP and stay clear of public school systems!!! But it would be such a shame to just give up that service - it's is our right to have it.So I was contemplating whether or not to confront her (definately outside of my comfort zone!!!!) So I was waiting until last minute to decide whether or not to even go today for 2nd appt. and she happened to call to ask to bump up our appt. time. My son was in a rare moment, occupying himself in his room and my baby was asleep so I took the opportunity to tell her that I don't know if we'll be coming back. I don't know if I could even get my son in the car to get him to come back. I told her she really intimidated him and made him feel threatened. She came on WAAAAAY too strong especially for a first meeting. I told her I don't if you're reading the same IEP or not but he doesn't understand social cues - throwing a bunch of social cues at him to expect him to respond correctly IS just setting him up for failure and to feel bad about himself. This the part that you're supposed to teach him...... she was very apologetic and gave me some BS about it is a challenge when kids come in late in the year, she hasn't had time to get to know him..... she admitted she should build a rapport with him first....what could we do to correct this? So I proceded to tell her how she could try to repair it and we will give it another chance. I will be watching her like a hawk! We did go today and she alllowed him to bring a game from home and tell her HIS rules on how to play etc. I also requested she offer incentive (reward) for his visits. We use a reward system at home and the old school let him pick from a treasure box - she has a treasure box so she needed to explain to him how he could earn a reward - not just randomly give him one when she felt like it. He needs to know what the expectations are of him....

I was diplomatic about it but man I wanted to scream inside!!!!! She works with kids.... she should know this stuff!!!!! ugggh.

So we'll see how it goes with her but I will ask about another option just in case. Do you think I would ask the IEP case manager at the homeschool? Or ask the Spec. Ed Director of the district- because I met her today while at the school. ? I never know the politcally correct way to handle things or how the chain of command works......

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

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[Guest guest]

Check out the book Out of Sync Child to learn more about sensory issues and ideas. It's a good one!Sent from my iPhoneOn Mar 7, 2011, at 12:15 AM, "SoCalVal" <socalval@...> wrote:



Thank you ne and . And to think - I only told you half of our session with her! My instinct told me (before we even left her office) to never go back but it sure does help to have it confirmed by another person. For a moment I was worried about losing that service as it is the main problem my son is having. It's too bad that we have to give up services because of her. If only I could find find a social skills group I might feel better about refusing this service. We can't seem to find one for 6-7 yr old age group.

His O.T services were for sensory issues and self regulation - how does your engine run sort of stuff. Also to exerpiment with different fidget toys, seat pads, weighted lap mat etc. These were all things he desperately needed while in the classroom but now with homeschool not so much. I was really wanting to learn about that self regulation though. Has anyone used the HOw does your engine run program with their child?

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

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[Guest guest]

,

Well first you're a bigger person than I am for going back to her and then to even have to TELL her what she should already know. I mean, really? I hope it works out for you and your son.

As for asking questions to the IEP case manager of the special ed director, you can ask whomever you want if the situation presents itself. Don't let their titles intimidate you. I used to and then found out they are no better than anyone else.

You have a right to feel comfortable with the person who is suppose to be helping your son. If it's not a good fit then the school has to have other options. If they can't provide a service that your son needs then they have to contract out for it. They can't say, this is all we have, take it or leave it. Of course they can try but you can fight it.

ne

From: SoCalVal <socalval@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Hi - new to group Date: Sunday, March 6, 2011, 4:11 PM

 Well the first IEP services were to have the SAI work with writing 5 days a week for 1/2 hr each day - The homeschool IEP changed to working with SAI only 2 times a month for 1/2 hr.

The old IEP gave my son once a week to work with O.T one on one and more O.T time with the classroom once a week. The new IEP only offers 1 time a month, half hour consult with O.T. This is okay because she is very very good and in a homeschool environment the sensory issues aren't as much of a problem.

The old IEP gave my son once a week with SLP and the new IEP gives my son once a week. We were excited about this because this is where his biggest deficit is. But here is where our bad luck continued. We met with her and she didn't even try to warm up with my son. She told me right off the bat she only agreed to take my son if he could be paired up with another kid at the same time slot but there were no other kids dealing with the same issues so she isn't happy that she has to take him one on one during a time she had reserved for her to get paper work done.

While we were there, she chose a game to play with my son. She only told him half of the rules (I thought this was on purpose to see how he would react but she confessed to me later, she really did forget to tell him the other rule of the game. The rule she forgot was she wanted him to make a sentence out of the word card that he drew. This upset him because he thought it was a game and was happy to play but when work was expected of him he wasn't interested and was quite honestly disappointed. Mind you the old SLP he loved, she was sweet and fun and he had a hard time agreeing to come to the new one. I promised him it would be fun (I shouldn't have made that promise). When he didn't want to make the sentence she asked of him, she got very impatient and kept pushing saying "well you can make the sentence or we can put the game away. Which do you chose?" He said meekly, "I want to play but

you should have told me about all the rules at the beggining". Her answer was "well I should have but I didn't. There is something called house rules and that means this is my house and I make the rules and my rule is that I can change the rules anytime I want ... " I was so shocked. My heart sank. This is not going to win my son over. He is never going to want to come back. She kept pushing until he was almost upset in tears. I intervened and asked what is the purpose of this? She said she is going to have him work on problem solving. When I asked what will she do in future visits when he is one on one? She told me she will do what she did that day. She used the word "sabotage". " I will sabotage him to see how he handles it. I wasn't going to discuss it any further with my son present. I've been stewing about it all weekend.

When it was time to go he asked about the treasure box that she had on the table (for kids to pick a toy from). He got to do that every visit at his old school. Her answer was, "sorry you don't get to do that at every visit" He looked down at the ground and meekly asked "well, when do I get to?" And she said well we'll see, it depends on how good you do at your visits with me. She just lost another opportunity to win him over. I don't even want to take him back. I don't think she has any experience with kids on the spectrum and she doesn't even appear to have any experience working with kids!!!!! I don't see how this is working on the things he needs to learn. I can play games with him at home and try to upset him if that is my goal. That's ridiculous don't you think? I don't think I need to subject him to that and I'm learning that even the "experts" are way off sometimes.

( ) Hi - new to group

Sorry I've already posted a few messages before doing this. I forgot to introduce my self and give a little history.My name is , I have a son who will be 7 in May. Diagnosed in Aug. 2010 by a child psychologist. No academic issues - only social/behavior especially evident school, in larger groups or noisy environments.We moved to CA in 2008 and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be able to handle Kindergarten - I was scared a public school would not tolerate him and be too harsh so we homeschooled that year to buy a little time.For first grade he wanted to try "real" school so we wanted to support him and give him a chance to succeed. Well the first school we had him in, the teacher was very unstable and actually screamed and yelled at the kids a l l d a y! And that was with parents present. Can you imagine what she was like when parents weren't there? We pulled him out after a week when the principal refused to change his

class or do anything. The next school the teacher was extremely unorganized, loud monotone voice, allowed 26 kids to run around wild, no seat assignments allowing kids to fight over who sat where... everyday was a struggle for my son. The teacher began talking to other parents about my son and his personal business (dx and all. The room mom volunteered in the class 2x a week. She felt the need to assert her authority in the class by shouting at the kids to keep them in line, move their behavior clips up and down as she wanted, grabbing, physically removing kids off the swing at recess time when they didn't respond to the bell... nightmare! And the teacher didn't stop her because she doesn't like confrontations! My son started sucking on his shirt, soiling his pants, spinning in cirlces uncontrollably and having several meltdowns a week. The school was trying to push us out one way or another. We mysteriously accumulated tardies and

absences, they made us sign a SART contract, my son was suspended for ridiculous things and spent a lot of time in the office. Finally the IEP was finished. Among other things it included a CLASSROOM aide but with focus on my son during recess. On day 2 of the aide, my son REFUSED to go to school and he cried. As I sat him on my lap to talk to him, he leaned back and I noticed a scratch on his chin. He shut down and didn't want to talk about it. I finally convinced him to tell me and it was the new aide that hurt my baby. As I dug deeper by talking to parents and principal I learned that there were several incidents on that same day. This aide was engaging in power struggles constantly. A parent witnessed my son being "pratically" tackled to the ground by the aide to get a ball out of his hands at recess. I also learned that on that day his behavior was escalating so much that the aide decided to keep him in the classroom to eat... alone with

her - instead of going to the cafeteria. Needless to say, my son did not return to school. The aide told a different story and felt that she handled all situations appropriately, the principal would not admit fault therefore would not remove the aide from working with my son or his class. We removed him from that toxic place but were scared to try any other public school. We put him back into homeschool for the remainder of the year. We feel so sad and frustrated that that our son doesn't fit anywhere as far as education. Homeschool is the best choice for now but I don't know if it will be enough to satisfy him next year. He is very social. He likes the idea of going to school. He thinks he's successful at it even though he's not. Even if I can offer him more social opportunities with homeschool I'm not sure I can meet all his needs - such as the services that he was to receive via the IEP. We're on our own. I'm scared and

overwhelmed. Thanks for listening, sorry it's so long. I look forward to sharing and offering support as well.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.449 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3484 - Release Date: 03/05/11 19:34:00

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