Re: feeling guilt/depressed

[Guest guest]

OMG......I can totally hear my 9 year old son doing that same thing! He

constantly tells me I need to kill him and says he is going to hurt himself. I

believe this started last year when he was in 2nd grade! He just gets so mad.

I assume he does not really mean what he says, but it does really concern me.

That story makes me so sad.......your son feels bad about what he did and is

obviously mad he did it.....so much so that he wants you to kill him (or this is

their way of saying they are really upset with themselves). I really feel like

my son cannot help these things and I want to help him so bad. I am constantly

searching for ways to do this, but sometimes I wonder if this is just who he is.

I hate that for him and worry about him growing up sad and alone!! We go to

therapy and social skills group. He has an IEP at school and they help some. I

do what I can at home, but he isn't very open minded, as you all know........

>

> My son is 11yrs. old now...he has never had any " real friends " ...just has one

" friend " who is 3yrs younger, lives a few doors down our street. I have to

monitor the play-dates very closely - I use walkey-talkies so that I know

exactly what/where my son is/doing. Just last fall he had 2x decided to run home

from this playmate, while calling me on his talkie, crying, yelling that he

needed to kill himself and it was all his fault! He came home & had a full

tantrum, destroyed the house, looking for something to hurt himself...he knew it

was his own fault because during his playdate with the peer, things got out of

control and my son kicked his " friend " hard in the groin, prompting the friends

mother to send my son home. I am still friends with the boy's mom, and through

talking with her, I have managed to explain my son's emotional shortcomings

(Asperger).

> My son still has his " friend " . But I know he will not have more than this. He

can only manage 1 at a time. My son was different all of his life. The school

has never quite been able to get it. He was constantly suspended from

Kindergarden! Went to shortened days, I meanwhile was trying to keep my career!

What a nightmare. Childcare providers kept kicking him out! I finally was forced

to quit my job....and anyway....after years of tests, various psyc

" professionals " telling me to " learn how to be a better parent " I have decided

that I must keep advocating for my son, no one else will. I have grieved, and I

still cry & grieve that my son is different, now. But he is so very smart &

talented (in math & reading) he is at least 2yrs maybe 3yrs ahead of his class

(currently 5th grade). He just cannot do things that are " liquid " like

social/communication, and he is extremely awkward in sports.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, you have just totally described my soon-to-be 12 year old son! He also

does not have any " real friends " , other than a boy he recently befriended at

social skills groups who has the same differences. The problem with that is we

live almost 2 hours apart, so they don't get together too often outside of

groups. He also likes to play with kids that are much younger, and I do the

exact same thing with walkie talkies, only now it is his cellphone. My son has

called me while riding his bike past a farm because he was scared of the cows

looking at him, and asked me to stay on the phone until he passed them! He has

also gotten into some major trouble with his cellphone, so I monitor that very

closely also, and he does not bring it to school. My son was dx just this past

May with AS, though he has had problems his whole life and carried an ADHD dx

for a few years prior. He would constantly get in trouble all during elementary

school because of behavior in the lunch line, and the teacher would make the

whole class miss recess and tell them it was because of my son that they could

not go....needless to say he was not so popular and this still continues. Kids

are really starting to notice his differences more, and they are starting to

talk behind his back and whisper about him. He sees this and is crushed...he

thought they were his friends. My son is also very intelligent, math and

science are his best subjects, and he is on high honor roll. We continue to

work on his social skills so he can have friends some day, and sports are out of

the question. We do grieve and cry for them, but you are right...we must

advocate hard for them, they have nobody else in their corner! Best of luck to

you in your journey!

>

> My son is 11yrs. old now...he has never had any " real friends " ...just has one

" friend " who is 3yrs younger, lives a few doors down our street. I have to

monitor the play-dates very closely - I use walkey-talkies so that I know

exactly what/where my son is/doing. Just last fall he had 2x decided to run home

from this playmate, while calling me on his talkie, crying, yelling that he

needed to kill himself and it was all his fault! He came home & had a full

tantrum, destroyed the house, looking for something to hurt himself...he knew it

was his own fault because during his playdate with the peer, things got out of

control and my son kicked his " friend " hard in the groin, prompting the friends

mother to send my son home. I am still friends with the boy's mom, and through

talking with her, I have managed to explain my son's emotional shortcomings

(Asperger).

> My son still has his " friend " . But I know he will not have more than this. He

can only manage 1 at a time. My son was different all of his life. The school

has never quite been able to get it. He was constantly suspended from

Kindergarden! Went to shortened days, I meanwhile was trying to keep my career!

What a nightmare. Childcare providers kept kicking him out! I finally was forced

to quit my job....and anyway....after years of tests, various psyc

" professionals " telling me to " learn how to be a better parent " I have decided

that I must keep advocating for my son, no one else will. I have grieved, and I

still cry & grieve that my son is different, now. But he is so very smart &

talented (in math & reading) he is at least 2yrs maybe 3yrs ahead of his class

(currently 5th grade). He just cannot do things that are " liquid " like

social/communication, and he is extremely awkward in sports.

>

[Guest guest]

As much as it probably shouldn't be funny......I had to chuckle about your son

worrying about the cows staring at him I could totally see my son doing that

same thing!!!! Mine has a major fear of stuffed animal heads!!!!! My father

has one in his garage and they have to drop him off outside before they get to

the garage (my my babysits him). This is the only time he actually gets out of

the car fast..........otherwise I could be in the house for 10 minutes before he

finally strolls in!

My Dad took him somewhere one time and didn't take the animal head thing

seriously and pulled in to the garage........He was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

upset and refuses to go anywhere with my Dad because of it (and this was a few

years ago).

We went to a restaurant one year for my birthday that had animal

heads......worst birthday dinner ever! He wouldn't stop asking when we would

leave and kept his hands cupped around his eyes the entire time. In fact, last

summer on vacation we could not go to a restaurant my boyfriend & his son wanted

to go to because it had animal heads. I felt bad about it and I think they

think he does it on purpose...........

Oh, and a few years ago we went on vacation with my boyfriends family for the

first time. Don't ya know......we get a cabin with a deer head in the living

room!!!! Luckily my boyfriend and I had the basement to hang out in.....my son

did everything there, including eating! Again, I didn't feel anyone understood

and I felt pressured to make his accept the stupid deer head! Do other kids

have these kind of fears? I wonder why something so silly bothers him so much!

He also told me he doesn't like them staring at him......um hello, they are not

really staring at you, lol!

I find it so hard to get things like this, because they seem so silly to me. I

try to understand they are not silly to him, which is very clear when you see

just how scared he gets!

> >

> > My son is 11yrs. old now...he has never had any " real friends " ...just has

one " friend " who is 3yrs younger, lives a few doors down our street. I have to

monitor the play-dates very closely - I use walkey-talkies so that I know

exactly what/where my son is/doing. Just last fall he had 2x decided to run home

from this playmate, while calling me on his talkie, crying, yelling that he

needed to kill himself and it was all his fault! He came home & had a full

tantrum, destroyed the house, looking for something to hurt himself...he knew it

was his own fault because during his playdate with the peer, things got out of

control and my son kicked his " friend " hard in the groin, prompting the friends

mother to send my son home. I am still friends with the boy's mom, and through

talking with her, I have managed to explain my son's emotional shortcomings

(Asperger).

> > My son still has his " friend " . But I know he will not have more than this.

He can only manage 1 at a time. My son was different all of his life. The school

has never quite been able to get it. He was constantly suspended from

Kindergarden! Went to shortened days, I meanwhile was trying to keep my career!

What a nightmare. Childcare providers kept kicking him out! I finally was forced

to quit my job....and anyway....after years of tests, various psyc

" professionals " telling me to " learn how to be a better parent " I have decided

that I must keep advocating for my son, no one else will. I have grieved, and I

still cry & grieve that my son is different, now. But he is so very smart &

talented (in math & reading) he is at least 2yrs maybe 3yrs ahead of his class

(currently 5th grade). He just cannot do things that are " liquid " like

social/communication, and he is extremely awkward in sports.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

He he. I'm trying not to laugh, too......trying.

Here's one for us. My son has been working on trying to pee and crap in other places than our home for years.

We camp......and if we're going for more than a day and night, we have to stay close to our house. He'll pee outside,,,,,but will NOT crap. I've had to drive him home once a day so that he'd shower and poop. He has no problem swimming in pools at the campgrounds - there is chlorine, he says.

But crap where others crap? nope.

He won't do it at school. I remember when he was in 2nd grade. He was honestly sick about when he went to the bathroom and someone had pooped and not flushed. So....he said he went to another stall - pee on the seat. That started it all.

Worst was 2 years ago when we took a weeks vacation to burg, VA. He pee'd outside while driving. He DID poop on day 3 because we stayed in the same hotel for the week. On the way home, he had to go sooooo bad. It was like 10 at night. He had to poop. My husband pulled into a gas station and begged him to try it.......saying that we weren't getting a hotel cause we were 1/2 way home. He cried........he was near sick. But refused. Said he just couldn't. We had him go in the bathroom....but good Lord - it was a gas station bathroom. We kept driving and finally,,,,,,,,,,he said he'd do it if we stopped at a restaurant. We found a Denny's. He did it. It was like our baby had taken his first steps. he he.

Any who......just wanted to add our 2 freakish cents worth.

Robin

From: cmt263 <gina9431@...>Subject: ( ) Re: feeling guilt/depressed Date: Wednesday, March 23, 2011, 9:18 PM

As much as it probably shouldn't be funny......I had to chuckle about your son worrying about the cows staring at him I could totally see my son doing that same thing!!!! Mine has a major fear of stuffed animal heads!!!!! My father has one in his garage and they have to drop him off outside before they get to the garage (my my babysits him). This is the only time he actually gets out of the car fast..........otherwise I could be in the house for 10 minutes before he finally strolls in!My Dad took him somewhere one time and didn't take the animal head thing seriously and pulled in to the garage........He was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo upset and refuses to go anywhere with my Dad because of it (and this was a few years ago).We went to a restaurant one year for my birthday that had animal heads......worst birthday dinner ever! He wouldn't stop asking when we would leave and kept his hands cupped around his eyes the entire time. In

fact, last summer on vacation we could not go to a restaurant my boyfriend & his son wanted to go to because it had animal heads. I felt bad about it and I think they think he does it on purpose...........Oh, and a few years ago we went on vacation with my boyfriends family for the first time. Don't ya know......we get a cabin with a deer head in the living room!!!! Luckily my boyfriend and I had the basement to hang out in.....my son did everything there, including eating! Again, I didn't feel anyone understood and I felt pressured to make his accept the stupid deer head! Do other kids have these kind of fears? I wonder why something so silly bothers him so much! He also told me he doesn't like them staring at him......um hello, they are not really staring at you, lol!I find it so hard to get things like this, because they seem so silly to me. I try to understand they are not silly to him, which is very clear when you see just how

scared he gets! > >> > My son is 11yrs. old now...he has never had any "real friends"...just has one "friend" who is 3yrs younger, lives a few doors down our street. I have to monitor the play-dates very closely - I use walkey-talkies so that I know exactly what/where my son is/doing. Just last fall he had 2x decided to run home from this playmate, while calling me on his talkie, crying, yelling that he needed to kill himself and it was all his fault! He came home & had a full tantrum, destroyed the house, looking for something to hurt

himself...he knew it was his own fault because during his playdate with the peer, things got out of control and my son kicked his "friend" hard in the groin, prompting the friends mother to send my son home. I am still friends with the boy's mom, and through talking with her, I have managed to explain my son's emotional shortcomings (Asperger). > > My son still has his "friend". But I know he will not have more than this. He can only manage 1 at a time. My son was different all of his life. The school has never quite been able to get it. He was constantly suspended from Kindergarden! Went to shortened days, I meanwhile was trying to keep my career! What a nightmare. Childcare providers kept kicking him out! I finally was forced to quit my job....and anyway....after years of tests, various psyc "professionals" telling me to "learn how to be a better parent" I have decided that I must keep advocating for my son, no one else will. I have grieved,

and I still cry & grieve that my son is different, now. But he is so very smart & talented (in math & reading) he is at least 2yrs maybe 3yrs ahead of his class (currently 5th grade). He just cannot do things that are "liquid" like social/communication, and he is extremely awkward in sports.> >>

[Guest guest]

OMG....my son is (15) is exactly the same way...

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Wed, March 23, 2011 10:52:57 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: feeling guilt/depressed

He he. I'm trying not to laugh, too......trying.

Here's one for us. My son has been working on trying to pee and crap in other places than our home for years.

We camp......and if we're going for more than a day and night, we have to stay close to our house. He'll pee outside,,,,,but will NOT crap. I've had to drive him home once a day so that he'd shower and poop. He has no problem swimming in pools at the campgrounds - there is chlorine, he says.

But crap where others crap? nope.

He won't do it at school. I remember when he was in 2nd grade. He was honestly sick about when he went to the bathroom and someone had pooped and not flushed. So....he said he went to another stall - pee on the seat. That started it all.

Worst was 2 years ago when we took a weeks vacation to burg, VA. He pee'd outside while driving. He DID poop on day 3 because we stayed in the same hotel for the week. On the way home, he had to go sooooo bad. It was like 10 at night. He had to poop. My husband pulled into a gas station and begged him to try it.......saying that we weren't getting a hotel cause we were 1/2 way home. He cried........he was near sick. But refused. Said he just couldn't. We had him go in the bathroom....but good Lord - it was a gas station bathroom. We kept driving and finally,,,,,,,,,,he said he'd do it if we stopped at a restaurant. We found a Denny's. He did it. It was like our baby had taken his first steps. he he.

Any who......just wanted to add our 2 freakish cents worth.

Robin

From: cmt263 <gina9431@...>Subject: ( ) Re: feeling guilt/depressed Date: Wednesday, March 23, 2011, 9:18 PM

As much as it probably shouldn't be funny......I had to chuckle about your son worrying about the cows staring at him I could totally see my son doing that same thing!!!! Mine has a major fear of stuffed animal heads!!!!! My father has one in his garage and they have to drop him off outside before they get to the garage (my my babysits him). This is the only time he actually gets out of the car fast..........otherwise I could be in the house for 10 minutes before he finally strolls in!My Dad took him somewhere one time and didn't take the animal head thing seriously and pulled in to the garage........He was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo upset and refuses to go anywhere with my Dad because of it (and this was a few years ago).We went to a restaurant one year for my birthday that had animal heads......worst birthday dinner ever! He wouldn't stop asking when we would leave and kept his hands cupped around his eyes the entire time. In

fact, last summer on vacation we could not go to a restaurant my boyfriend & his son wanted to go to because it had animal heads. I felt bad about it and I think they think he does it on purpose...........Oh, and a few years ago we went on vacation with my boyfriends family for the first time. Don't ya know......we get a cabin with a deer head in the living room!!!! Luckily my boyfriend and I had the basement to hang out in.....my son did everything there, including eating! Again, I didn't feel anyone understood and I felt pressured to make his accept the stupid deer head! Do other kids have these kind of fears? I wonder why something so silly bothers him so much! He also told me he doesn't like them staring at him......um hello, they are not really staring at you, lol!I find it so hard to get things like this, because they seem so silly to me. I try to understand they are not silly to him, which is very clear when you see just how

scared he gets! > >> > My son is 11yrs. old now...he has never had any "real friends"...just has one "friend" who is 3yrs younger, lives a few doors down our street. I have to monitor the play-dates very closely - I use walkey-talkies so that I know exactly what/where my son is/doing. Just last fall he had 2x decided to run home from this playmate, while calling me on his talkie, crying, yelling that he needed to kill himself and it was all his fault! He came home & had a full tantrum, destroyed the house, looking for something to hurt himself...he knew it was his own fault because during his playdate with the peer, things got out of control and

my son kicked his "friend" hard in the groin, prompting the friends mother to send my son home. I am still friends with the boy's mom, and through talking with her, I have managed to explain my son's emotional shortcomings (Asperger). > > My son still has his "friend". But I know he will not have more than this. He can only manage 1 at a time. My son was different all of his life. The school has never quite been able to get it. He was constantly suspended from Kindergarden! Went to shortened days, I meanwhile was trying to keep my career! What a nightmare. Childcare providers kept kicking him out! I finally was forced to quit my job....and anyway....after years of tests, various psyc "professionals" telling me to "learn how to be a better parent" I have decided that I must keep advocating for my son, no one else will. I have grieved, and I still cry & grieve that my son is different, now. But he is so very smart & talented (in math

& reading) he is at least 2yrs maybe 3yrs ahead of his class (currently 5th grade). He just cannot do things that are "liquid" like social/communication, and he is extremely awkward in sports.> >>

[Guest guest]

Oh, how similar, yet different our kids can be! I do try to see the humor in

some of my son's behaviors, though I know that it must be so difficult for him

sometimes. I hope he can develop the skills that he needs to overcome his fears

and move on as he matures. His anxiety can interfere so much with everyday

things, though a small dose of antianxiety medication has helped with that

lately.

> > >

> > > My son is 11yrs. old now...he has never had any " real friends " ...just has

one " friend " who is 3yrs younger, lives a few doors down our street. I have to

monitor the play-dates very closely - I use walkey-talkies so that I know

exactly what/where my son is/doing. Just last fall he had 2x decided to run home

from this playmate, while calling me on his talkie, crying, yelling that he

needed to kill himself and it was all his fault! He came home & had a full

tantrum, destroyed the house, looking for something to hurt himself...he knew it

was his own fault because during his playdate with the peer, things got out of

control and my son kicked his " friend " hard in the groin, prompting the friends

mother to send my son home. I am still friends with the boy's mom, and through

talking with her, I have managed to explain my son's emotional shortcomings

(Asperger).

> > > My son still has his " friend " . But I know he will not have more than this.

He can only manage 1 at a time. My son was different all of his life. The school

has never quite been able to get it. He was constantly suspended from

Kindergarden! Went to shortened days, I meanwhile was trying to keep my career!

What a nightmare. Childcare providers kept kicking him out! I finally was forced

to quit my job....and anyway....after years of tests, various psyc

" professionals " telling me to " learn how to be a better parent " I have decided

that I must keep advocating for my son, no one else will. I have grieved, and I

still cry & grieve that my son is different, now. But he is so very smart &

talented (in math & reading) he is at least 2yrs maybe 3yrs ahead of his class

(currently 5th grade). He just cannot do things that are " liquid " like

social/communication, and he is extremely awkward in sports.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

He he. I love it.

There are sooo many good stories we all have. I wish we could always have a "standing" thread of funnies. he he.

Sure...there are always those better off than us, personally. BUT......there are also those worse off.....(in a good, funny way, of course).

From: cmt263 <gina9431@...>Subject: ( ) Re: feeling guilt/depressed Date: Wednesday, March 23, 2011, 9:18 PM

As much as it probably shouldn't be funny......I had to chuckle about your son worrying about the cows staring at him I could totally see my son doing that same thing!!!! Mine has a major fear of stuffed animal heads!!!!! My father has one in his garage and they have to drop him off outside before they get to the garage (my my babysits him). This is the only time he actually gets out of the car fast..........otherwise I could be in the house for 10 minutes before he finally strolls in!My Dad took him somewhere one time and didn't take the animal head thing seriously and pulled in to the garage........He was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo upset and refuses to go anywhere with my Dad because of it (and this was a few years ago).We went to a restaurant one year for my birthday that had animal heads......worst birthday dinner ever! He wouldn't stop asking when we would leave and kept his hands cupped around his eyes the entire time. In

fact, last summer on vacation we could not go to a restaurant my boyfriend & his son wanted to go to because it had animal heads. I felt bad about it and I think they think he does it on purpose...........Oh, and a few years ago we went on vacation with my boyfriends family for the first time. Don't ya know......we get a cabin with a deer head in the living room!!!! Luckily my boyfriend and I had the basement to hang out in.....my son did everything there, including eating! Again, I didn't feel anyone understood and I felt pressured to make his accept the stupid deer head! Do other kids have these kind of fears? I wonder why something so silly bothers him so much! He also told me he doesn't like them staring at him......um hello, they are not really staring at you, lol!I find it so hard to get things like this, because they seem so silly to me. I try to understand they are not silly to him, which is very clear when you see just how

scared he gets! > >> > My son is 11yrs. old now...he has never had any "real friends"...just has one "friend" who is 3yrs younger, lives a few doors down our street. I have to monitor the play-dates very closely - I use walkey-talkies so that I know exactly what/where my son is/doing. Just last fall he had 2x decided to run home from this playmate, while calling me on his talkie, crying, yelling that he needed to kill himself and it was all his fault! He came home & had a full tantrum, destroyed the house, looking for something to hurt himself...he knew it was his own fault because during his playdate with the peer, things got out of control and

my son kicked his "friend" hard in the groin, prompting the friends mother to send my son home. I am still friends with the boy's mom, and through talking with her, I have managed to explain my son's emotional shortcomings (Asperger). > > My son still has his "friend". But I know he will not have more than this. He can only manage 1 at a time. My son was different all of his life. The school has never quite been able to get it. He was constantly suspended from Kindergarden! Went to shortened days, I meanwhile was trying to keep my career! What a nightmare. Childcare providers kept kicking him out! I finally was forced to quit my job....and anyway....after years of tests, various psyc "professionals" telling me to "learn how to be a better parent" I have decided that I must keep advocating for my son, no one else will. I have grieved, and I still cry & grieve that my son is different, now. But he is so very smart & talented (in math

& reading) he is at least 2yrs maybe 3yrs ahead of his class (currently 5th grade). He just cannot do things that are "liquid" like social/communication, and he is extremely awkward in sports.> >>