Guest guest Posted December 19, 2009 Report Share Posted December 19, 2009 Should you tell him about what he "has".......YES. How do you get him to remember "important" things? He he. That's a question that we all have. ha ha. First,,,,,we have in place that his homework is logged in a "homework notebook". Any info from the teachers to me and from me to the teachers is put in this. IT's taken many years and 3 different schools, but he's finally where they KNOW he has Executive Functioning issues and HELP HIM get his things turned in and remembered to be brought home.........thank God. We told our son from day 1, what was "up" with him. We've always explained why he "thoguht" the way he did......and explained why he didnt' seem to "fit" with others. So,,,,it's hard for me to "see" the other side. Does he have an IEP? Does he get breaks for things? I bet he knows something is up...and I bet if you sit with him and explain WHY you never told him, he'd "Get it". We've always said that "everyone has something". So, although we've had helacious years,,,,,,,,he's known about his issues and why he is Ian. Good luck to you. He'll understand. Maybe get him great books. My son is 13 now, but has ALWAYS loved the book, "All cats have Aspergers". It's a blunt and cute book explained a lot of the "symptons"........... Keep us posted. Robin From: Tina n Tony <tinatony0810@...>Subject: ( ) Please Anyone HELP Date: Saturday, December 19, 2009, 10:10 AM my son was diagnosed at age 2 with autism after therapy and early intervention etc his diagnosis changed to aspergers and with research i feel like this diagnosis is on point. what concerns me is his emotional state children dont understand they make fun of him he is now 10 i haven't talked with him about his diagnosis he already feels like he is stupid and a loser i dont want to tell him about it and have that be the icing on the cake that its a bad thing its something he will have to live with yes and its hard for me to deal with and understand but i try to think like what he may think like for example when he doesn't remember something which seems to happen a lot we retrace what happen throughout the day to help him when he comes directly home and does homework but the very next day doesn't turn it in because he gets to the classroom focuses on something else and just spaces the fact his homework needs to go on the teachers desk I have a hard time understanding why and I am sure he does too he probably asks himself whats wrong with me all the time I'm not asking for some kinda miracle that I will receive all the answers here but should i discuss his diagnosis with him how do i make him remember important things etc any advice would be greatly GREATLY appreciated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2009 Report Share Posted December 20, 2009 How you explain any issue with kids depends so much on the child's personality and emotional control. It is not a secret for sure. For some kids they panic with a label and can't stand that anything would be different but others just take it with stride. If your child is the kind that would get upset here are some strategies to help them cope. Kids need to understand that all people have strengths and weaknesses. And many people have various levels of health issues to deal with. This is some of the ground work that needs to be done. That all people have things they cope with. Our kids are not different in that way. They are like most people. Another area of ground work is in 5th grade and later to read and learn about how different groups of people have been discriminated against. My daughter could not cope with reading these type of books until 6th grade but she could read books for younger children about kids dealing with being overweight and picked on or having a physical disability etc . Then you want to start pointing out your child's strenghts. And work on this with him. Hopefully by 5th grade he can identify some of his strenghts and also what things that are hard. Then they need to understanding that some learning issues or illnesses have a groups of symptoms. People with diabetes have to have their eyes checked, circulation and blood sugar levels in check. People with reading issues often have problems with spelling too. But not everyone has every symptom of a learning issue or illness. Matter of factly reassure him that his issues can be dealt with too. He is not alone in having some issues to deal with. And he can live a happy and productive life. It may take years of laying ground work and maturity before he understands himself better and has a social perspective. As far as school issues, get a neuropschological test done if you can afford it (often about 3000 or more) and get concrete facts on his executive skills and other cognitive functioning if any are at deficit levels he needs to be classified under IEP if he is not already. He needs to be protected from kids that are not kind. He may need to be in a class with a second in class support teacher that gives assistance in many areas. good luck, Pam > > my son was diagnosed at age 2 with autism after therapy and early intervention etc his diagnosis changed to aspergers and with research i feel like this diagnosis is on point. what concerns me is his emotional state children dont understand they make fun of him he is now 10 i haven't talked with him about his diagnosis he already feels like he is stupid and a loser i dont want to tell him about it and have that be the icing on the cake that its a bad thing its something he will have to live with yes and its hard for me to deal with and understand but i try to think like what he may think like for example when he doesn't remember something which seems to happen a lot we retrace what happen throughout the day to help him when he comes directly home and does homework but the very next day doesn't turn it in because he gets to the classroom focuses on something else and just spaces the fact his homework needs to go on the teachers desk I have a hard time understanding why and I am sure he does too he probably asks himself whats wrong with me all the time I'm not asking for some kinda miracle that I will receive all the answers here but should i discuss his diagnosis with him how do i make him remember important things etc any advice would be greatly GREATLY appreciated > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2009 Report Share Posted December 20, 2009 i want to thank you so so so much for your insight i have been dealing with this completely alone and you have no idea how much i appreciate your helpFrom: Pamela <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Please Anyone HELP Date: Sunday, December 20, 2009, 5:01 PM How you explain any issue with kids depends so much on the child's personality and emotional control. It is not a secret for sure. For some kids they panic with a label and can't stand that anything would be different but others just take it with stride. If your child is the kind that would get upset here are some strategies to help them cope. Kids need to understand that all people have strengths and weaknesses. And many people have various levels of health issues to deal with. This is some of the ground work that needs to be done. That all people have things they cope with. Our kids are not different in that way. They are like most people. Another area of ground work is in 5th grade and later to read and learn about how different groups of people have been discriminated against. My daughter could not cope with reading these type of books until 6th grade but she could read books for younger children about kids dealing with being overweight and picked on or having a physical disability etc . Then you want to start pointing out your child's strenghts. And work on this with him. Hopefully by 5th grade he can identify some of his strenghts and also what things that are hard. Then they need to understanding that some learning issues or illnesses have a groups of symptoms. People with diabetes have to have their eyes checked, circulation and blood sugar levels in check. People with reading issues often have problems with spelling too. But not everyone has every symptom of a learning issue or illness. Matter of factly reassure him that his issues can be dealt with too. He is not alone in having some issues to deal with. And he can live a happy and productive life. It may take years of laying ground work and maturity before he understands himself better and has a social perspective. As far as school issues, get a neuropschological test done if you can afford it (often about 3000 or more) and get concrete facts on his executive skills and other cognitive functioning if any are at deficit levels he needs to be classified under IEP if he is not already. He needs to be protected from kids that are not kind. He may need to be in a class with a second in class support teacher that gives assistance in many areas. good luck, Pam > > my son was diagnosed at age 2 with autism after therapy and early intervention etc his diagnosis changed to aspergers and with research i feel like this diagnosis is on point. what concerns me is his emotional state children dont understand they make fun of him he is now 10 i haven't talked with him about his diagnosis he already feels like he is stupid and a loser i dont want to tell him about it and have that be the icing on the cake that its a bad thing its something he will have to live with yes and its hard for me to deal with and understand but i try to think like what he may think like for example when he doesn't remember something which seems to happen a lot we retrace what happen throughout the day to help him when he comes directly home and does homework but the very next day doesn't turn it in because he gets to the classroom focuses on something else and just spaces the fact his homework needs to go on the teachers desk I have a hard time understanding why and I am sure he does too he probably asks himself whats wrong with me all the time I'm not asking for some kinda miracle that I will receive all the answers here but should i discuss his diagnosis with him how do i make him remember important things etc any advice would be greatly GREATLY appreciated > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2009 Report Share Posted December 20, 2009 i want to thank you so so so much for your insight i have been dealing with this completely alone and you have no idea how much i appreciate your help From: Tina n Tony <tinatony0810>Subject: ( ) Please Anyone HELP Date: Saturday, December 19, 2009, 10:10 AM my son was diagnosed at age 2 with autism after therapy and early intervention etc his diagnosis changed to aspergers and with research i feel like this diagnosis is on point. what concerns me is his emotional state children dont understand they make fun of him he is now 10 i haven't talked with him about his diagnosis he already feels like he is stupid and a loser i dont want to tell him about it and have that be the icing on the cake that its a bad thing its something he will have to live with yes and its hard for me to deal with and understand but i try to think like what he may think like for example when he doesn't remember something which seems to happen a lot we retrace what happen throughout the day to help him when he comes directly home and does homework but the very next day doesn't turn it in because he gets to the classroom focuses on something else and just spaces the fact his homework needs to go on the teachers desk I have a hard time understanding why and I am sure he does too he probably asks himself whats wrong with me all the time I'm not asking for some kinda miracle that I will receive all the answers here but should i discuss his diagnosis with him how do i make him remember important things etc any advice would be greatly GREATLY appreciated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2009 Report Share Posted December 21, 2009 Yes, please explain the diagnosis to him. He's already noticed that he is different and he needs to know that when he " forgets " things it's because of his disability, not because he's deliberately misbehaving. If he is getting bullied at school, then it's time to get a formal diagnosis and an IEP in place to stop the damage to his spirit before it gets worse. There's a cute book that explains it well for kids - All Cats have Aspergers. When my son was in grade school, I tried to put a really positive spin on having AS. I told him that he was really, really smart, but that his brain was wired a bit differently, like Einstein, Bill Gates, and a few other really smart people. He had a different learning style, but nothing was impossible for him. Some things were harder for him to learn, but there were a lot of things that he could do easily that were really hard for most other people. You might add that there are lots of other kids just like him. (I just heard that 1 out of 110 children now have some kind of autism.) When I told my son that he had AS, I could see him breathe a huge sigh of relief. I bet your son will feel better, too. The only other advice I have for you is to keep working with his strengths and to do all you can to let him know that he is not stupid and not a loser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2009 Report Share Posted December 21, 2009 I am glad to help however I can. I too struggled from preschool until my daughter was in 6th grade. Over the years I have been counseled by so many specialists. The pieces are finally starting to come together for us. So many professionals helped us I am happy to pay it forward in anyway I can. Pam > > > > > > my son was diagnosed at age 2 with autism after therapy and early intervention etc his diagnosis changed to aspergers and with research i feel like this diagnosis is on point. what concerns me is his emotional state children dont understand they make fun of him he is now 10 i haven't talked with him about his diagnosis he already feels like he is stupid and a loser i dont want to tell him about it and have that be the icing on the cake that its a bad thing its something he will have to live with yes and its hard for me to deal with and understand but i try to think like what he may think like for example when he doesn't remember something which seems to happen a lot we retrace what happen throughout the day to help him when he comes directly home and does homework but the very next day doesn't turn it in because he gets to the classroom focuses on something else and just spaces the fact his homework needs to go on the teachers desk I have a hard time > understanding why and I am sure he does too he probably asks himself whats wrong with me all the time I'm not asking for some kinda miracle that I will receive all the answers here but should i discuss his diagnosis with him how do i make him remember important things etc any advice would be greatly GREATLY appreciated > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.