Hello from land

[Guest guest]

Hi, I'm Patti, and I joined the group a couple of weeks ago. My older son is

waiting for an assessment appointment-- his school counselor thinks he has

Asperger's. I am less sure, but I see a lot of him when I read this group's

posts.

Kieran is nearly 13, and is in 8th grade at a private school, after being

homeschooled since he was 6. Putting him in school was a financial necessity,

but I had been considering it anyway-- it seems like most homeschoolers go back

to school when they reach his age. He only has one close friend, and I thought

a set peer group might be a good idea.

I think K has adjusted pretty well overall to a GIANT change in his life, but he

has been " shutting down " when he gets frustrated in class. He gets tongue-tied

and upset, and sometimes cries. Fortunately, the staff and the other kids are

pretty nice and supportive. The other kids are friendly, but he hasn't really

made any friends in his grade. He really likes school, though. He goes in and

comes out happy each day, despite whatever " episodes " he may have had.

The counselor says that classmates made overtures to K, but that he said " No

thanks, I'm fine, " or similar. I am not sure how concerned to be about this-- I

know for sure he is capable of friendship, though he is shy and awkward about

the actual " making friends " part.

Part of the issue is that we're not that " mainstream " a family, and K's

interests aren't that typical. There are only 17 other kids in his class, and

he doesn't have that much in common with them. He's not interested in being

friends with any of the particular kids in his grade, so the line between

" inability to make friends " and " not interested in available friends " is blurry!

He has been making me a little insane with academic issues. He was in danger of

failing English first quarter mostly because of missing work. He was also

having a lot of trouble with writing output in class. His typical anxiety plus

inexperience at timed writing= tears but not much work. He made up a lot of

work and got a " C. " This semester he is getting A's and B's, but is STILL not

doing/turning in all his work.

He has consistently been behind on turning in math assignments, too. It's not

that he can't do the work, or that he doesn't have time-- I've asked him why he

keeps doing this, and he says " I don't know. I won't do it anymore. " This

drives me nuts, because it's exactly the kind of answer I get from his father on

any given issue! I would definitely guess that K's dad is an Aspie, by the way,

even if I'm not sure about K.

Well, everyone's probably out getting ready for the holidays instead of reading

my novel of a post, but-- hello. : )