Behavior Issue With Our 15 Year Old

May 10, 2010

We have three sons with the youngest being 15 going on 16 and the one with

Aspergers. We just had a firm diagnoses of Aspergers high functioning just over

2 years ago. At first we were told he was ADHD about 8 years ago and were

treating him for. Our issue is that he is not going to School more than two

maybe three days a week and only going for half a day. He fights any change and

only remembers what he wants to. He has an IQ of 145 but very low social skills.

He is just out of control and being 6'2 " and 300 pounds he is not eaisly

persuaded. I need suggestions on how to get him to start listening to us and

caring about his future. We do not want him living at home for the next 20 or 30

years.

May 11, 2010

My son is 14.5 and we are going through the same thing with school. He never wants to go and only remembers what he wants. His memory doesn't include anything having to do with school. It appears that he will fail 8th grade. I don't know what else to do that I haven't already done. He has OCD, ADHD, Depression, and now has been diagnosed with Aspergers. The school has not been very helpful in dealing with him. I heard all these things that the public school could do for him back when we were in private school. I haven't found much at all with our school. I have a call in today to the principal for a bullying incident that happened yesterday. I am so frustrated!Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "ndm1958" <ndm1958@...>Date: Tue, 11 May 2010 04:48:31 -0000< >Subject: ( ) Behavior Issue With Our 15 Year Old We have three sons with the youngest being 15 going on 16 and the one with Aspergers. We just had a firm diagnoses of Aspergers high functioning just over 2 years ago. At first we were told he was ADHD about 8 years ago and were treating him for. Our issue is that he is not going to School more than two maybe three days a week and only going for half a day. He fights any change and only remembers what he wants to. He has an IQ of 145 but very low social skills. He is just out of control and being 6'2 " and 300 pounds he is not eaisly persuaded. I need suggestions on how to get him to start listening to us and caring about his future. We do not want him living at home for the next 20 or 30 years.

May 11, 2010

Your son has AS with school refusal that is a diagnosis

and a good case for an IEP. The hard part is finding a

psychaitrist that will work with the school to help

get your son the services he needs.

Sooner or later the school I will guess is going to start

complaining about all the absences and will call it truant

unless you get a psychiatrist involved to help advocate.

My daughter and niece both were involved in truancy. My daughter

has AS and my niece has severe social anxiety. Both cases

their psychiatrist got involved to help advocate to keep them

in school. The High School may start suggesting GED. Don't

agree to that. Kids with AS can be classified under IEP

and your son can get educational services until he is

21 and in some cases even older. The fact he won't go to school

some days is an indication of the severity of the disorder.

The school may not want to provide services for someone

so smart but he has issues that affect him getting to school.

You need an expert to help you like the psychiatrist. Make

sure the psychiatrist agrees to help up front. No sense

working with one that doesn't get involved. We had to go out of

network.

Having you son earn all his privileges is a proven strategy with

younger kids with AS and ADHD. You can contact

Yale's Parent and Child Clinic and they can train you and

come up with a plan for your teen. They have a sliding

scale. I found that too many therapists gave bad behavior

therapy advice and my child was often escalated. Yale

knows how to coach so that things don't get worse and

they will work with the school on the phone. They have

an excellent reputation. Noone will be able to blame

you for the absences if you are working with Yale or

a pyschiatrist.

My advice is to work hard to get an IEP. Now that

you have school refusal with AS you have a very good case for

it. With an IEP you can advocate for vocational training

for your son. As you said you don't want him sitting

at home watching TV all day.

With an IEP you have a case to get adult services.

Pam

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> We have three sons with the youngest being 15 going on 16 and the one with