Re: Re: Just help or any advice for morning transition~

[Guest guest]

Sleep has always been critical for D too. He's taken melatonin for a few years now when he's having trouble falling asleep and it really helps. Same thing too about being rushed! Just when as a parent or just human being I have the urge (and sometimes do) say come on, hurry up, we have to go...is when he just can't be rushed! Frustrating, but not saying anything saves time in the long run, because he will just STOP if he feels overwhelmed and rushed. I have been lucky to be paid by my district as on independent contractor to provide transportation for D to his out of district placements for the last 3 years. This solved most morning issues, because there is that little but of leeway in when we leave. Before that, I made up a necklace of cards (about 3x3) with instructions and pictures laminated and hung on a lanyard. They went in order everything he needed to do...starting with wake up, brush teeth, get dressed, comb hair, eat breakfast..and so on, and each had a time on them (5 min, 10 min, etc). We kept a timer handy, and each task we would set it and he knew he had that amount of time to get it done. As he worked through them, he could flip to the next card and focus on his next task. I saw this as using his own desire to keep routine and schedule to my advantage, and most days for the most part it worked very well. He used to take a lot of pills, and that was an issue sometimes too, especially with him putting if off or taking way too long. We had a timer from a game (it was a special Cars themed Uno game). U would set the timer and had to play a card then hit the button on top. If u took too long, a horn would honk a few times. Well, I turned it into a pill game lol. He had 30 or 45 seconds to take a pill, and he thought it was fun to beat the buzzer. Even if he didn't, he kept trying. I guess I'm lucky that even with everything D has gone through, he still loves school and always wanted to go. Good luck,Pam Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "s_hansen34" <s_hansen34@...>Sender: Date: Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:55:12 +0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Re: Just help or any advice for morning transition~ Raina,OMG! I can't even imagine your situation. My now 13 yr old Aspie used to be very similar in the morning and most mornings now aren't the smoothest but at least he is older and I don't have to physically do things for him. But I still have to tell him the same things EVERY single day. Anyway....how well does he get to sleep at night? My son used to take hours and that caused him to drag a$$ in the morning. Since he gets medication now to help him sleep mornings are better. You might want to check into that. Just a thought. Also, my son can't stand to be rushed or hurried. The more I try to hurry him, the more aggitated he gets and ruder, then the more stressed I get and so on. So now I make sure he gets up REAL early so he has that extra time, which therefor makes him have to go to bed earlier. He doesn't like it, but we negotiate...you get your butt in gear in the morning and then you can stay up later. It will work for a while and then we have to go back again. Just one of those things with Aspies. Good luck and I pray you get some relief. <<hugs>>~ne>> Hello, > I have posted on here before and loved the help and support I have gotten, and I watch the boards regularly I was in hopes someone else would maybe post with the same issue~ My Aspie son Ashton is 7 and in 1st grade I cannot seem to figure out his mornings they are sooooo tough and quite honestly exhaust me to the maximum.> > Most of the boys (my other 5) get up at 6:30 (bus comes at 7:30) Ashton I have to literally wait until 7:10 or 7:15 as he HATES school and NEVER wants to go (that is a whole nother post about the laziness of our school and the fight for an IEP we are still battling)He will usually start with " I dont want to go to school " and I tell him it is not a choice (last year he missed 43 days of school because of fighting to go and also the school calling me to come get him (will get to that later) Finally he gets up I can get him dressed and pep talk him about what a great day he is going to have his mood lightens a bit. THEN after he gets his shoes on and takes his pill (which can be a fight as well he will run from me and hold his hands over his mouth) If he decides to eat he will eat very very slow then as I am getting other kids ready to get out the door to the bus....> > He escapes on me and takes his shoes off and goes and hides Thus the battle begins...I am rushed to get his shoes back on all while he is fighting me and telling me he is not going to school. If I push him and get angry with him he shuts down and gets very angry and mad and things escalate so I try to stay calm...Get him out the door with his brothers and some days he runs off or hides to miss the bus. I have often walked him to the bus however this creates outbursts and crying and is even an uglier situation! > > If he misses the bus and I take him he will not get out of the truck AUGH!!!!> > We have tried sooo many things...ie..If you go to school you can have 10 minutes on the computer etc...it works for a short time then he finally decides he knows at one point he is not going to be good and is going to be bad so why bother trying for it so when I tell him " if you go to school mom will make whatever you would like for dinner tonight your choice " he will in return say " No I am not going to be good " like he just gives up!!> > My 5 year old is starting kindergarten and I am terrified that with my morning routine and just all of the exhaustiion with ashton I wont be able to keep up! PLEASE HELP! > > Thank you so much!> (I will be posting a HUGE issue we are having with school and IEP as well as the nonsense way they handle him at school as I have noticed alot of you with aspies have trbl with school so it is not just me augh sooo frustrating though)>

[Guest guest]

I feel this is an ongoing battle in my house which we are slowly overcoming, but had many of thes same kinds of issues for a long time and occassionally they pop up again when he os overtired, or somthing. The bigges change for us was getting Special Ed transport, but also switching to a new school where he was better accomodated. I would carry him in kicing and screaming, pulling my hair our and biting me and it was a constant batle to get him dresses and out of the house, let alone fed and meds in etc.

We have been in a lot of therapies and treatments and I am certain that cumulatively they helped with the sensory issues, connections, and self control, but I think having the bussing made hi feel like he needed to be ready to avoid the stress of missing it and it ave him a sense of being in control, that he was working towards being a big kid and riding the bus - it took out the power struggle of getting in the car, who he was going to sit near, etc, and just makes for a much better day for us all. I thought of this idea beacuse of a friend froma support group had been given this accomodation even though she lived just a couple miles from the school. I had to fight for it for a while, but in the end it has really worked.

I also found the earlier I woke my son up, the more aggressive he was. He has his own biorythm and it is set a little later in the am I think. So we have a visual schedule where he puts picture of a carnivorous plant on with velcro every time he completes a task ( his main special interest is carnivorous plants). It helps him remember what to do next and I don't have to prompt as much which aggravates him less. Then he has a period he has to wait in between meds and eating so he gets to play legos if he gets ready nicely during that time for the half hour. If he doesn't get ready nicely or he makes us wait too long the natural consequence is we don't have time for legos today because you still need to make your bed, feed the dog, and put your dirty laundry away. He now gets that he is in control of if he gets to use legos in the am- sometimes it makes no difference to him, but most of the time it helps ( legos are another special

interest). Transitioning away from them can be hard sometimes but usually I entice him with a favorite breakfast or something if needed.

Its not perfect but better than it was an a lot less stressful for us all most mornings.

From: s_hansen34 <s_hansen34@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Just help or any advice for morning transition~ Date: Thursday, November 4, 2010, 9:55 PM

Raina,OMG! I can't even imagine your situation. My now 13 yr old Aspie used to be very similar in the morning and most mornings now aren't the smoothest but at least he is older and I don't have to physically do things for him. But I still have to tell him the same things EVERY single day. Anyway....how well does he get to sleep at night? My son used to take hours and that caused him to drag a$$ in the morning. Since he gets medication now to help him sleep mornings are better. You might want to check into that. Just a thought. Also, my son can't stand to be rushed or hurried. The more I try to hurry him, the more aggitated he gets and ruder, then the more stressed I get and so on. So now I make sure he gets up REAL early so he has that extra time, which therefor makes him have to go to bed earlier. He doesn't like it, but we negotiate...you get your butt in gear in the morning and then you can stay up later. It will work for a while and

then we have to go back again. Just one of those things with Aspies. Good luck and I pray you get some relief. <<hugs>>~ne>> Hello, > I have posted on here before and loved the help and support I have gotten, and I watch the boards regularly I was in hopes someone else would maybe post with the same issue~ My Aspie son Ashton is 7 and in 1st grade I cannot seem to figure out his mornings they are sooooo tough and quite honestly exhaust me to the maximum.> > Most of the boys (my other 5) get up at 6:30 (bus comes at 7:30) Ashton I have to literally wait until 7:10 or 7:15 as he HATES school and NEVER wants to go (that is a whole nother post

about the laziness of our school and the fight for an IEP we are still battling)He will usually start with "I dont want to go to school" and I tell him it is not a choice (last year he missed 43 days of school because of fighting to go and also the school calling me to come get him (will get to that later) Finally he gets up I can get him dressed and pep talk him about what a great day he is going to have his mood lightens a bit. THEN after he gets his shoes on and takes his pill (which can be a fight as well he will run from me and hold his hands over his mouth) If he decides to eat he will eat very very slow then as I am getting other kids ready to get out the door to the bus....> > He escapes on me and takes his shoes off and goes and hides Thus the battle begins...I am rushed to get his shoes back on all while he is fighting me and telling me he is not going to school. If I push him and get angry with him he shuts down and gets very

angry and mad and things escalate so I try to stay calm...Get him out the door with his brothers and some days he runs off or hides to miss the bus. I have often walked him to the bus however this creates outbursts and crying and is even an uglier situation! > > If he misses the bus and I take him he will not get out of the truck AUGH!!!!> > We have tried sooo many things...ie..If you go to school you can have 10 minutes on the computer etc...it works for a short time then he finally decides he knows at one point he is not going to be good and is going to be bad so why bother trying for it so when I tell him "if you go to school mom will make whatever you would like for dinner tonight your choice" he will in return say "No I am not going to be good" like he just gives up!!> > My 5 year old is starting kindergarten and I am terrified that with my morning routine and just all of the exhaustiion with ashton I wont

be able to keep up! PLEASE HELP! > > Thank you so much!> (I will be posting a HUGE issue we are having with school and IEP as well as the nonsense way they handle him at school as I have noticed alot of you with aspies have trbl with school so it is not just me augh sooo frustrating though)>

[Guest guest]

I did the same for a while for my son. He now remembers to brush his teeth and wear deodorant every day. It is wonderful. After he started hi8tting puberty he would gag everyone in the house when he came home from school. Now, we bresth easy all day.

Amber Barnett

From: jdarawi <jenniferdarawi@...> Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 7:59:45 PMSubject: ( ) Re: Just help or any advice for morning transition~

I don't know if it will help, but we just started a picture schedule with our daughter for the morning (she's almost 7). I took photos of each step she needs to do to get ready. I let her choose the order of some of it. She puts on a sticker by each picture as she does each step. It has really helped for her, so I don't need to give her many verbal prompts to get ready. If she's not doing anything, I will now say "follow your chart" or "do the next step" rather than the specific thing. Before she used to waste a lot of time, and just fool around, or get distracted or wild. Maybe it would help him to get through the routine, but I think you need some other help with school, so that he won't try to avoid it so much, as you mentioned you are working on.I hope things get better,

[Guest guest]

Have you talked to the teacher and may be there is something at school that is making him not to go to school.

padma

( ) Re: Just help or any advice for morning transition~

Thank you all so much for the wonderful responses to our horrible morning transition...I have found that getting ashton up earlier is way more devastating for him for some reason...it makes him contemplate and think more about school (he does not like going) therefore by the time it is ready for the bus to come he has put to much thought into it and runs and hides and then takes his shoes off so it makes him miss the bus..augh! He does get a good nights sleep as we have been taking melatonin for some time now and I do it at 7 so he is ready by 7:30 and then up by 7 am...he also takes respiradone at bedtime too to help him stay asleep.

We are going to try the picture chart idea I think he may really like that and will benefit from it well. Time will tell, I will most certainly keep you all posted on how it goes!

Thank you all so much

Raina

> >

> > Hello,

> > I have posted on here before and loved the help and support I have gotten, and I watch the boards regularly I was in hopes someone else would maybe post with the same issue~ My Aspie son Ashton is 7 and in 1st grade I cannot seem to figure out his mornings they are sooooo tough and quite honestly exhaust me to the maximum.

> >

> > Most of the boys (my other 5) get up at 6:30 (bus comes at 7:30) Ashton I have to literally wait until 7:10 or 7:15 as he HATES school and NEVER wants to go (that is a whole nother post about the laziness of our school and the fight for an IEP we are still battling)He will usually start with "I dont want to go to school" and I tell him it is not a choice (last year he missed 43 days of school because of fighting to go and also the school calling me to come get him (will get to that later) Finally he gets up I can get him dressed and pep talk him about what a great day he is going to have his mood lightens a bit. THEN after he gets his shoes on and takes his pill (which can be a fight as well he will run from me and hold his hands over his mouth) If he decides to eat he will eat very very slow then as I am getting other kids ready to get out the door to the bus....

> >

> > He escapes on me and takes his shoes off and goes and hides Thus the battle begins...I am rushed to get his shoes back on all while he is fighting me and telling me he is not going to school. If I push him and get angry with him he shuts down and gets very angry and mad and things escalate so I try to stay calm...Get him out the door with his brothers and some days he runs off or hides to miss the bus. I have often walked him to the bus however this creates outbursts and crying and is even an uglier situation!

> >

> > If he misses the bus and I take him he will not get out of the truck AUGH!!!!

> >

> > We have tried sooo many things...ie..If you go to school you can have 10 minutes on the computer etc...it works for a short time then he finally decides he knows at one point he is not going to be good and is going to be bad so why bother trying for it so when I tell him "if you go to school mom will make whatever you would like for dinner tonight your choice" he will in return say "No I am not going to be good" like he just gives up!!

> >

> > My 5 year old is starting kindergarten and I am terrified that with my morning routine and just all of the exhaustiion with ashton I wont be able to keep up! PLEASE HELP!

> >

> > Thank you so much!

> > (I will be posting a HUGE issue we are having with school and IEP as well as the nonsense way they handle him at school as I have noticed alot of you with aspies have trbl with school so it is not just me augh sooo frustrating though)

> >

>