Guest guest Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 OH Robin!!! Your post made me tear up !! My son who is 5 is the same way , granted i know the age difference is alot between yours and mine , but i feel like you just described my son!! Its hard when you know he isnt trying to be mean or hurtful , but you know how it looks to others , and they think " this child is horrible!!" Its breaks my heart all the time when my son does this to his brothers in public places , he also will do the poking thing to them while saying " poke" each time he pokes them, and the loud crazy sounding laugh when he is getting excited!! I guess i dont have much to say that will probably comfort you , but im sorry you had a emotional day!! WHen those things happen and you see the way people are looking at your son , sometimes dont you just wannt scream " HES NOT A BAD KID , HES NOT TRYING TO HURT HIM, HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND, HES REALLY A GOOD BROTHER...... i just feel like i wanna go explain everything because i hate that others look at my child like he is some criminal!! God it just makes my heart and soul crumble into a million pieces , because i know how loving and kind and smart and funny our boys our , but sadly others only see first impressions of our boys , and sometimes they are not so good first impressions!! I am with you on having an emotional day , and being tired!! I know i shouldnt care what others think , and most of the time i really dont , i try and look at it as well if my son isnt sad , then im not gonna be sad about what people think of him!! But sometimes i break down and just cry all day...like today....!!! Because its so hard to know that my sweet baby boy who i have loved sooo much since the day he was born , a boy who i love way more than i love myself and who i know is so loving and a really great kid , is sometimes looked down on by others!! who know nothing about who he is , or what he goes through inside of his head on a daily basis ! The feeling sometimes of all this stuff that my boys have to go through just breaks me all over again!!But then again i guess maybe im just tired too.....meaghanFrom: Robin <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 11:15:53 PMSubject: ( ) Sigh........... Today, we took the kids to the Wisconsin Dells to an indoor water park to burn off some energy and I got to see Ian (14) in a way that I haven't seen him in a while. It crushed me, in a way. Now, first, I have to say that he is a good kid. No cruel intentions in him. Sure,,,,,he's almost 15, so of course, aside from how the AS "lets" him know everything, he's a teenager, but man,,,,,,,,,, I was going around checking on the kids and found him in the whirlpool with his 10 yr old brother and I just watched. There were like 5 other adults and 10 other younger kids. No one said anything, but they all kind of looked at him and then would look away, while Ian would splash his younger brother......laugh really loud....then splash again. Then, he'd try to dunk him as playfully as he could. My younger son would say, "Stop Ian" or "knock it off, Ian" and Ian would just keep it up and laugh and laugh. I was so crushed. I was embarrassed....cause I knew I had to stop him.....but I was so crushed. He just didn't get it. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Sigh. SO,,,,,I finally motioned for my younger son to come to me.....which made Ian notice him leaving, so he came out, too. I told him a lie. That the manager was very angry about him splashing his brother which was making others get splashed, too. And that if he did it again, he wouldn't be able to play at the park anymore. He was really sad. Made me mad at myself. I had him come back to the table with me. He was so remorseful. Anyway, we talked about how "if you dont' see others splashing, you shouldn't splash". I asked him if he heard Jack telling him to stop. He said, "No"..........good GOd. And, yes, I know this doesn't sound like much, but it got me thinking. Am I going to always have to be there.....by him....telling him what's appropriate? Motioning to stop? I wonder how the hell is he going to get a job? There are days when he thinks it's funny to "poke" on of his siblings. To really stand there and "poke" them while saying "poke". They are all younger and will get so angry at him. We all yell and tell him to stop.........then he says how sorry he is, says he doesn't know why he does things like that......then we have a chat about things to do or not do....blah blah blah. Maybe I'm just tired. Sounds like a lot of us are, lately. Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Meaghan, Well,,,,,I was smiling at the beginning of your reply....hearing that you understood and saw such similarities. Then,,,,I was crying to hear you write about "our" kids. Yeah,,,,it sucks when others think our kids are losers. Plain and simple. I'm used to being places and having other kids say things to him......like "stop it" or whatever. Today....no one said anything. Maybe they thought that one of his parents were in the hot tub, too,,,,so they didn't say anything. I don't kwow what sucks more. When kids say things to try to get him to stop....or when no one says anything. They just sit there freaked out by him. You got it. Our kids are so darned nice. Wonderful. Loving. Caring. Smart. Innocent. And unbelievably OK with themselves. But no one really gets to see it except the ones that HAVE to be around us. he he. His grandparents know him. But, you know what? Even they have had difficulties understanding him totally over the years. I guess I shouldnt' expect too much though, heck - even I struggle with handling it at times. I worry soooo badly about his future. He could live on his own without safety risk - I know. He could do the dishes (as long as there were gloves), wash his clothes, vacuum. Don't know about washing a sink or toilet. He can cook. He may wear the same clothes for 2 weeks straight and never wear deoderant. Might not brush his teeth,,,,but he LOVES to floss. Can't take a crap unless there are wipes. TP is a no no. Sigh..............Did I just say he could live on his own? he he, I just worry. Will he go for an interview at a restaurant at 16 and when they say something about bussing tables or washing dishes or taking out the garbage, will he wrinkle up his face and say, "No way, buddy"? If he tries to get a job at Best Buy with the Geek Squad, will he expect to hang out and test games? (he he). I'm not an idiot, I will obviously have him more prepared to go to interviews....but my point is that I worry that he really is not prepared. No matter how much I talk....and WE talk...and he learns. Or how many times we go over scenarios.......and he understands, there is always going to be a situation that he doesn't deal with correctly. And where most of us can "Wing it",,,,,he can't. Then, they'll can him. And....when they can him, will he even tell me if he's on his own? Will it tick him off and he'll just about his business? I am really freaking out, can you tell? I've talked wtih my 13 yr old daughter about this before, but tonight, I talked with her again, about Ian. About how, if we ever can't take care of him and watch out for him, she will need to. I will also have this talk with the other ones when they are older. knows that he will be "hers" if need be. She can't stand him so much of the time, but she is very protective of him when not wanting to hurt him. he he. I guess I'm rambling. I get so used to seeing him "normal" in my eyes at home. Good in stores.........whatever. Today just really knocked me down. Cocktail time, I think. Robin Karmageddon (n): It's, like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer! From: Meaghan Larson <meaghanlarson@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Sigh........... Date: Saturday, February 12, 2011, 11:43 PM OH Robin!!! Your post made me tear up !! My son who is 5 is the same way , granted i know the age difference is alot between yours and mine , but i feel like you just described my son!! Its hard when you know he isnt trying to be mean or hurtful , but you know how it looks to others , and they think " this child is horrible!!" Its breaks my heart all the time when my son does this to his brothers in public places , he also will do the poking thing to them while saying " poke" each time he pokes them, and the loud crazy sounding laugh when he is getting excited!! I guess i dont have much to say that will probably comfort you , but im sorry you had a emotional day!! WHen those things happen and you see the way people are looking at your son , sometimes dont you just wannt scream " HES NOT A BAD KID , HES NOT TRYING TO HURT HIM, HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND, HES REALLY A GOOD BROTHER...... i just feel like i wanna go explain everything because i hate that others look at my child like he is some criminal!! God it just makes my heart and soul crumble into a million pieces , because i know how loving and kind and smart and funny our boys our , but sadly others only see first impressions of our boys , and sometimes they are not so good first impressions!! I am with you on having an emotional day , and being tired!! I know i shouldnt care what others think , and most of the time i really dont , i try and look at it as well if my son isnt sad , then im not gonna be sad about what people think of him!! But sometimes i break down and just cry all day...like today....!!! Because its so hard to know that my sweet baby boy who i have loved sooo much since the day he was born , a boy who i love way more than i love myself and who i know is so loving and a really great kid , is sometimes looked down on by others!! who know nothing about who he is , or what he goes through inside of his head on a daily basis ! The feeling sometimes of all this stuff that my boys have to go through just breaks me all over again!!But then again i guess maybe im just tired too.....meaghan From: Robin <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 11:15:53 PMSubject: ( ) Sigh........... Today, we took the kids to the Wisconsin Dells to an indoor water park to burn off some energy and I got to see Ian (14) in a way that I haven't seen him in a while. It crushed me, in a way.Now, first, I have to say that he is a good kid. No cruel intentions in him. Sure,,,,,he's almost 15, so of course, aside from how the AS "lets" him know everything, he's a teenager, but man,,,,,,,,,,I was going around checking on the kids and found him in the whirlpool with his 10 yr old brother and I just watched. There were like 5 other adults and 10 other younger kids. No one said anything, but they all kind of looked at him and then would look away, while Ian would splash his younger brother......laugh really loud....then splash again. Then, he'd try to dunk him as playfully as he could. My younger son would say, "Stop Ian" or "knock it off, Ian" and Ian would just keep it up and laugh and laugh. I was so crushed. I was embarrassed....cause I knew I had to stop him.....but I was so crushed. He just didn't get it. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Sigh.SO,,,,,I finally motioned for my younger son to come to me.....which made Ian notice him leaving, so he came out, too.I told him a lie. That the manager was very angry about him splashing his brother which was making others get splashed, too. And that if he did it again, he wouldn't be able to play at the park anymore. He was really sad. Made me mad at myself. I had him come back to the table with me. He was so remorseful. Anyway, we talked about how "if you dont' see others splashing, you shouldn't splash". I asked him if he heard Jack telling him to stop. He said, "No"..........good GOd.And, yes, I know this doesn't sound like much, but it got me thinking. Am I going to always have to be there.....by him....telling him what's appropriate? Motioning to stop? I wonder how the hell is he going to get a job? There are days when he thinks it's funny to "poke" on of his siblings. To really stand there and "poke" them while saying "poke". They are all younger and will get so angry at him.We all yell and tell him to stop.........then he says how sorry he is, says he doesn't know why he does things like that......then we have a chat about things to do or not do....blah blah blah.Maybe I'm just tired. Sounds like a lot of us are, lately.Robin Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 These are my thoughts, exactly. It is not what my daughter does at the moment but what I invision her becoming as an adult. I am not going to live forever, what will she do? From: Robin <jrisjs@...>Subject: ( ) Sigh........... Date: Sunday, February 13, 2011, 12:15 AM Today, we took the kids to the Wisconsin Dells to an indoor water park to burn off some energy and I got to see Ian (14) in a way that I haven't seen him in a while. It crushed me, in a way.Now, first, I have to say that he is a good kid. No cruel intentions in him. Sure,,,,,he's almost 15, so of course, aside from how the AS "lets" him know everything, he's a teenager, but man,,,,,,,,,,I was going around checking on the kids and found him in the whirlpool with his 10 yr old brother and I just watched. There were like 5 other adults and 10 other younger kids. No one said anything, but they all kind of looked at him and then would look away, while Ian would splash his younger brother......laugh really loud....then splash again. Then, he'd try to dunk him as playfully as he could. My younger son would say, "Stop Ian" or "knock it off, Ian" and Ian would just keep it up and laugh and laugh. I was so crushed. I was embarrassed....cause I knew I had to stop him.....but I was so crushed. He just didn't get it. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Sigh.SO,,,,,I finally motioned for my younger son to come to me.....which made Ian notice him leaving, so he came out, too.I told him a lie. That the manager was very angry about him splashing his brother which was making others get splashed, too. And that if he did it again, he wouldn't be able to play at the park anymore. He was really sad. Made me mad at myself. I had him come back to the table with me. He was so remorseful. Anyway, we talked about how "if you dont' see others splashing, you shouldn't splash". I asked him if he heard Jack telling him to stop. He said, "No"..........good GOd.And, yes, I know this doesn't sound like much, but it got me thinking. Am I going to always have to be there.....by him....telling him what's appropriate? Motioning to stop? I wonder how the hell is he going to get a job? There are days when he thinks it's funny to "poke" on of his siblings. To really stand there and "poke" them while saying "poke". They are all younger and will get so angry at him.We all yell and tell him to stop.........then he says how sorry he is, says he doesn't know why he does things like that......then we have a chat about things to do or not do....blah blah blah.Maybe I'm just tired. Sounds like a lot of us are, lately.Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 Robin, Oh I how I hear you! My son would annoy his friends (he has no brothers or sisters). He would poke me too. They just don't get it. And, I too worry about our children getting jobs and fitting in. Even though your son is 15, he is not as mature as his peers. He is acting more like a 10 year old. And, their perception is off. This is exactly what got my son in trouble. His g.f. said this guy was annoy and asked my son to tell him to leave her alone. And, my son did that exactly but to the point where the school said he was harrassing him. My son says no one likes this kid, they all say he is a crybaby....so instead of ignoring the boy....my follows the group in disliking the boy. When I siad to my son...you don't like when you are teased or picked on, why would you do it? He says "Well, at least I don't cry, he cries over everything". His perception is way off. And, he is following the others rather than think for himself. Plus the other Nts know how to get away with it, how and when to pick on him or say things...my son hears them and follows along...but our kids are socially clueless. My son would always get in trouble ...he would do the same as other kids but they were smart enough to know when and where to do it. Another thing that has gotten my son in trouble is he wants friends so badly ...he wants to be liked that he does whatever other people say rather than think for himself. Robin, here is a big, big big hug. Jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Robin <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sun, February 13, 2011 12:15:53 AMSubject: ( ) Sigh........... Today, we took the kids to the Wisconsin Dells to an indoor water park to burn off some energy and I got to see Ian (14) in a way that I haven't seen him in a while. It crushed me, in a way.Now, first, I have to say that he is a good kid. No cruel intentions in him. Sure,,,,,he's almost 15, so of course, aside from how the AS "lets" him know everything, he's a teenager, but man,,,,,,,,,,I was going around checking on the kids and found him in the whirlpool with his 10 yr old brother and I just watched. There were like 5 other adults and 10 other younger kids. No one said anything, but they all kind of looked at him and then would look away, while Ian would splash his younger brother......laugh really loud....then splash again. Then, he'd try to dunk him as playfully as he could. My younger son would say, "Stop Ian" or "knock it off, Ian" and Ian would just keep it up and laugh and laugh. I was so crushed. I was embarrassed....cause I knew I had to stop him.....but I was so crushed. He just didn't get it. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Sigh.SO,,,,,I finally motioned for my younger son to come to me.....which made Ian notice him leaving, so he came out, too.I told him a lie. That the manager was very angry about him splashing his brother which was making others get splashed, too. And that if he did it again, he wouldn't be able to play at the park anymore. He was really sad. Made me mad at myself. I had him come back to the table with me. He was so remorseful. Anyway, we talked about how "if you dont' see others splashing, you shouldn't splash". I asked him if he heard Jack telling him to stop. He said, "No"..........good GOd.And, yes, I know this doesn't sound like much, but it got me thinking. Am I going to always have to be there.....by him....telling him what's appropriate? Motioning to stop? I wonder how the hell is he going to get a job? There are days when he thinks it's funny to "poke" on of his siblings. To really stand there and "poke" them while saying "poke". They are all younger and will get so angry at him.We all yell and tell him to stop.........then he says how sorry he is, says he doesn't know why he does things like that......then we have a chat about things to do or not do....blah blah blah.Maybe I'm just tired. Sounds like a lot of us are, lately.Robin Looking for earth-friendly autos? Browse Top Cars by "Green Rating" at Autos' Green Center. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 Jan,Boy thats a tough situation... i hate bullying soooo much , i would be crushed if my three boys ever were bullying someone else! Were you ever able to get through to him? Sometimes i know it can be a viscous cycle , kids that are bullied sometimes will bully other kids!! I moved around in schools alot when i was growing up , so i kinda can empathize with kids on wanting so badly to fit it , i did a lot of things that werent me , because i wanted others to like me! Looking back on it now i just wish i would have had the courage to be myself .... i never picked on anyone , but alot of my friends did , they even picked on the disabled kids at our school in middle school... and even at the time i knew it was wrong , and it really made me mad , but i did nothing to stick up for the kids getting picked on!! But the next year , i finally had enough of them bullying kids that are not even able to stick up for themselves .... they were making fun of a boy ( with severe autism) he was just minding his own business and eating lunch by himself So i went over and ate lunch with him, and told the boys that were making fun of them that they are disgusting!! I ended up eating lunch with him everyday Then pretty soon , lots of people starting eating lunch with us, because they just needed one person to stand up against those bullies , and after that the bullies were the ones that were out numbered!! I recently got a friend request from the boy who i ate lunch with every day , and he told me " thank you for being so nice to him in highschool" i didnt even think he would remember me , but he said he felt like he finally had a real friend in highschool !! How amazing is that right?! Kids want to be friends with the other kids who are not followers ....and who do their own thing and stick up for people! BUt i just wanted to share that story of mine because maybe you can tell it to your son? NOt saying your son is a huge bully , it sounds like he is just doing what alot of kids do , and just trying to fit in with friends..... but its amazing sometimes how just a small thing like eating lunch with another student who is always sitting alone can impact their life , to have him 10 years later find me on facebook and thank me for something i thought was not that big of deal , but it was to him!! I think if more kids stuck up for eachother , they would be surprised how many other kids follow their example of befriending people!!! I think your son is still maturing but he will find who he is soon , and realize whats the right thing to do!! LIke i said all kids sometimes go through the wanting friends so they just follower others stage!! Just keep talking to him , it sounds like you know what your doing and are guiding your son very well!! :)MeaghanFrom: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Sun, February 13, 2011 5:50:54 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Sigh........... Robin, Oh I how I hear you! My son would annoy his friends (he has no brothers or sisters). He would poke me too. They just don't get it. And, I too worry about our children getting jobs and fitting in. Even though your son is 15, he is not as mature as his peers. He is acting more like a 10 year old. And, their perception is off. This is exactly what got my son in trouble. His g.f. said this guy was annoy and asked my son to tell him to leave her alone. And, my son did that exactly but to the point where the school said he was harrassing him. My son says no one likes this kid, they all say he is a crybaby....so instead of ignoring the boy....my follows the group in disliking the boy. When I siad to my son...you don't like when you are teased or picked on, why would you do it? He says "Well, at least I don't cry, he cries over everything". His perception is way off. And, he is following the others rather than think for himself. Plus the other Nts know how to get away with it, how and when to pick on him or say things...my son hears them and follows along...but our kids are socially clueless. My son would always get in trouble ...he would do the same as other kids but they were smart enough to know when and where to do it. Another thing that has gotten my son in trouble is he wants friends so badly ...he wants to be liked that he does whatever other people say rather than think for himself. Robin, here is a big, big big hug. Jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position From: Robin <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sun, February 13, 2011 12:15:53 AMSubject: ( ) Sigh........... Today, we took the kids to the Wisconsin Dells to an indoor water park to burn off some energy and I got to see Ian (14) in a way that I haven't seen him in a while. It crushed me, in a way.Now, first, I have to say that he is a good kid. No cruel intentions in him. Sure,,,,,he's almost 15, so of course, aside from how the AS "lets" him know everything, he's a teenager, but man,,,,,,,,,,I was going around checking on the kids and found him in the whirlpool with his 10 yr old brother and I just watched. There were like 5 other adults and 10 other younger kids. No one said anything, but they all kind of looked at him and then would look away, while Ian would splash his younger brother......laugh really loud....then splash again. Then, he'd try to dunk him as playfully as he could. My younger son would say, "Stop Ian" or "knock it off, Ian" and Ian would just keep it up and laugh and laugh. I was so crushed. I was embarrassed....cause I knew I had to stop him.....but I was so crushed. He just didn't get it. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Sigh.SO,,,,,I finally motioned for my younger son to come to me.....which made Ian notice him leaving, so he came out, too.I told him a lie. That the manager was very angry about him splashing his brother which was making others get splashed, too. And that if he did it again, he wouldn't be able to play at the park anymore. He was really sad. Made me mad at myself. I had him come back to the table with me. He was so remorseful. Anyway, we talked about how "if you dont' see others splashing, you shouldn't splash". I asked him if he heard Jack telling him to stop. He said, "No"..........good GOd.And, yes, I know this doesn't sound like much, but it got me thinking. Am I going to always have to be there.....by him....telling him what's appropriate? Motioning to stop? I wonder how the hell is he going to get a job? There are days when he thinks it's funny to "poke" on of his siblings. To really stand there and "poke" them while saying "poke". They are all younger and will get so angry at him.We all yell and tell him to stop.........then he says how sorry he is, says he doesn't know why he does things like that......then we have a chat about things to do or not do....blah blah blah.Maybe I'm just tired. Sounds like a lot of us are, lately.Robin Looking for earth-friendly autos? Browse Top Cars by "Green Rating" at Autos' Green Center. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 reading this post about the 13 year old being asked to care for her brother if the parents ever couldn't I just had to share that I have never asked my daughter or mentioned this to her ever, but she is a smart kid and knows mom is not going to live forever. In a recent counseling session ( due to divorce and her brother being so abusive we have them all in counseling) she broke down about how stressed she is that she has to make a alot of money to take care of my youngest after my ex and myself are gone. It was so heartbreaking that she not only was worried about all the normal kid stuff but that she is at her young age in middle school stressing about doing well enough to go to a good college so she can get out of school to make enough money to take care of her brother. I tried to explain that we are doing everything humanly possible to help avoid this,trying to provide as much help for him now so he might be able to be on his own when he grows up. Interestingly though, she thinks I am living a pipe dream and that she will some day have to be his caretaker. This really hurt to think that my poor teenager is bearing this kind of weight on her already overloaded shoulders, but also that she felt I was in denial that I might be able to get him to a point where he could be on his own. I don't know but I somehow truly believe that if we work hard enough now, it is possible. I know he is her brother, but I want my other kids to be able to have their own lives. They did not have a child and commit to this kind of a life, it does not seem fair Iw oudl hoist that upon her.... has anyone elese tried to tackle this kind of situation and how did you resolve it? I have heard about the trusts but I am nto even where I need to be for retirement or college for my kids, do I have to start thinking about long term care for him now too? What if we set it up and then he is functioning enough to be on his own afterall? Has anyone else told their other kids they will need to be caretakers or have you found alternate people who could be? I really struggle with what the right thing to do is here. After all these years of him being so abusive I wonder if they could even be objective in caring for him, especially if his aggression issues are not resolved. This is the worry that I can not let go of... From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sun, February 13, 2011 12:04:28 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Sigh........... Meaghan, Well,,,,,I was smiling at the beginning of your reply....hearing that you understood and saw such similarities. Then,,,,I was crying to hear you write about "our" kids. Yeah,,,,it sucks when others think our kids are losers. Plain and simple. I'm used to being places and having other kids say things to him......like "stop it" or whatever. Today....no one said anything. Maybe they thought that one of his parents were in the hot tub, too,,,,so they didn't say anything. I don't kwow what sucks more. When kids say things to try to get him to stop....or when no one says anything. They just sit there freaked out by him. You got it. Our kids are so darned nice. Wonderful. Loving. Caring. Smart. Innocent. And unbelievably OK with themselves. But no one really gets to see it except the ones that HAVE to be around us. he he. His grandparents know him. But, you know what? Even they have had difficulties understanding him totally over the years. I guess I shouldnt' expect too much though, heck - even I struggle with handling it at times. I worry soooo badly about his future. He could live on his own without safety risk - I know. He could do the dishes (as long as there were gloves), wash his clothes, vacuum. Don't know about washing a sink or toilet. He can cook. He may wear the same clothes for 2 weeks straight and never wear deoderant. Might not brush his teeth,,,,but he LOVES to floss. Can't take a crap unless there are wipes. TP is a no no. Sigh..............Did I just say he could live on his own? he he, I just worry. Will he go for an interview at a restaurant at 16 and when they say something about bussing tables or washing dishes or taking out the garbage, will he wrinkle up his face and say, "No way, buddy"? If he tries to get a job at Best Buy with the Geek Squad, will he expect to hang out and test games? (he he). I'm not an idiot, I will obviously have him more prepared to go to interviews....but my point is that I worry that he really is not prepared. No matter how much I talk....and WE talk...and he learns. Or how many times we go over scenarios.......and he understands, there is always going to be a situation that he doesn't deal with correctly. And where most of us can "Wing it",,,,,he can't. Then, they'll can him. And....when they can him, will he even tell me if he's on his own? Will it tick him off and he'll just about his business? I am really freaking out, can you tell? I've talked wtih my 13 yr old daughter about this before, but tonight, I talked with her again, about Ian. About how, if we ever can't take care of him and watch out for him, she will need to. I will also have this talk with the other ones when they are older. knows that he will be "hers" if need be. She can't stand him so much of the time, but she is very protective of him when not wanting to hurt him. he he. I guess I'm rambling. I get so used to seeing him "normal" in my eyes at home. Good in stores.........whatever. Today just really knocked me down. Cocktail time, I think. Robin Karmageddon (n): It's, like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer! From: Meaghan Larson <meaghanlarson@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Sigh........... Date: Saturday, February 12, 2011, 11:43 PM OH Robin!!! Your post made me tear up !! My son who is 5 is the same way , granted i know the age difference is alot between yours and mine , but i feel like you just described my son!! Its hard when you know he isnt trying to be mean or hurtful , but you know how it looks to others , and they think " this child is horrible!!" Its breaks my heart all the time when my son does this to his brothers in public places , he also will do the poking thing to them while saying " poke" each time he pokes them, and the loud crazy sounding laugh when he is getting excited!! I guess i dont have much to say that will probably comfort you , but im sorry you had a emotional day!! WHen those things happen and you see the way people are looking at your son , sometimes dont you just wannt scream " HES NOT A BAD KID , HES NOT TRYING TO HURT HIM, HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND, HES REALLY A GOOD BROTHER...... i just feel like i wanna go explain everything because i hate that others look at my child like he is some criminal!! God it just makes my heart and soul crumble into a million pieces , because i know how loving and kind and smart and funny our boys our , but sadly others only see first impressions of our boys , and sometimes they are not so good first impressions!! I am with you on having an emotional day , and being tired!! I know i shouldnt care what others think , and most of the time i really dont , i try and look at it as well if my son isnt sad , then im not gonna be sad about what people think of him!! But sometimes i break down and just cry all day...like today....!!! Because its so hard to know that my sweet baby boy who i have loved sooo much since the day he was born , a boy who i love way more than i love myself and who i know is so loving and a really great kid , is sometimes looked down on by others!! who know nothing about who he is , or what he goes through inside of his head on a daily basis ! The feeling sometimes of all this stuff that my boys have to go through just breaks me all over again!!But then again i guess maybe im just tired too.....meaghan From: Robin <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 11:15:53 PMSubject: ( ) Sigh........... Today, we took the kids to the Wisconsin Dells to an indoor water park to burn off some energy and I got to see Ian (14) in a way that I haven't seen him in a while. It crushed me, in a way.Now, first, I have to say that he is a good kid. No cruel intentions in him. Sure,,,,,he's almost 15, so of course, aside from how the AS "lets" him know everything, he's a teenager, but man,,,,,,,,,,I was going around checking on the kids and found him in the whirlpool with his 10 yr old brother and I just watched. There were like 5 other adults and 10 other younger kids. No one said anything, but they all kind of looked at him and then would look away, while Ian would splash his younger brother......laugh really loud....then splash again. Then, he'd try to dunk him as playfully as he could. My younger son would say, "Stop Ian" or "knock it off, Ian" and Ian would just keep it up and laugh and laugh. I was so crushed. I was embarrassed....cause I knew I had to stop him.....but I was so crushed. He just didn't get it. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Sigh.SO,,,,,I finally motioned for my younger son to come to me.....which made Ian notice him leaving, so he came out, too.I told him a lie. That the manager was very angry about him splashing his brother which was making others get splashed, too. And that if he did it again, he wouldn't be able to play at the park anymore. He was really sad. Made me mad at myself. I had him come back to the table with me. He was so remorseful. Anyway, we talked about how "if you dont' see others splashing, you shouldn't splash". I asked him if he heard Jack telling him to stop. He said, "No"..........good GOd.And, yes, I know this doesn't sound like much, but it got me thinking. Am I going to always have to be there.....by him....telling him what's appropriate? Motioning to stop? I wonder how the hell is he going to get a job? There are days when he thinks it's funny to "poke" on of his siblings. To really stand there and "poke" them while saying "poke". They are all younger and will get so angry at him.We all yell and tell him to stop.........then he says how sorry he is, says he doesn't know why he does things like that......then we have a chat about things to do or not do....blah blah blah.Maybe I'm just tired. Sounds like a lot of us are, lately.Robin Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.Try the free Beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 16, 2011 Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 Wooooooow, thats crazy that you have never talked to her about this , but she already feels like she will need to step in if need be to take care of her brother.... reallly touching too , that even tho he is aggressive and lashes out , she understands that its not entirely his fault that its his disorder, she seems very mature for her age!! WHen i hear things like this , this is when i wish i was a billionare so i could just give you millions of dollars to support your son and your other kids for the rest of your life!!! GOD i wish it could be that simple!! I know my parents have put it in their will, that when they die and the estate is split up between us 5 sisters , that my nephew ( severely autistic ,completely non verbal, but still a funny and beautiful little boy ) Will get a chunk of the estate to help pay for his care if need be when he is an adult!! My parents did this before i even had kids , so obviously there is nothing in the will for my 2 of three boys that have autism/ aspergers, but my boys are talking , and doing alot of other things and will be able to do alot of things that my nephew wont , so i am not feeling left out or anything like that, quite the opposite i feel great knowing my nephew will atleast have a little bit to help pay for his needs!! And god , as sad as this is to admit , some of my sisters have had their own 2 cents to put in about my nephew being in the will and their kids not being in the will, i just couldnt even believe some of the things they had to say , i was just like " are you seriously saying these things right now??????? " its really just disgusting to me for them to behave like that, just cant stand it!! Especially when we are family and suppose to take care of eachother and be supportive , sheesh , my 4 month old dog is more supportive then they are! lolBut anyway , i totally understand you being worried about your other kids and wanting them to be able to live out whatever dreams they have for their own lives , and while your right , this isnt something a child should feel they have to worry about at such a young age, but its really sweet that she cares for him!! And if you really think that is a possibility that she may need to look after him someday , i think for right now , you can just tell her she doesnt need to worry about that , you guys will cross that bridge when you come to it , and that right now she just needs to be a good sister , thats what her brother needs , is a sister that will be there to be his friend no matter what!! Maybe then she will feel ok to not worry about it , and wont put so much pressure on herself!! Sounds like you have a really great daughter who was already preparing herself for that responsibility without anyone even mentioning it to her!! What a great heart she has!! But you are right , she has to know that she needs to do whatever she wants to do in her life without worrying so much right now about her brother!!Meaghan From: Jadczak <bjadczak@...> Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 4:59:14 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Sigh........... reading this post about the 13 year old being asked to care for her brother if the parents ever couldn't I just had to share that I have never asked my daughter or mentioned this to her ever, but she is a smart kid and knows mom is not going to live forever. In a recent counseling session ( due to divorce and her brother being so abusive we have them all in counseling) she broke down about how stressed she is that she has to make a alot of money to take care of my youngest after my ex and myself are gone. It was so heartbreaking that she not only was worried about all the normal kid stuff but that she is at her young age in middle school stressing about doing well enough to go to a good college so she can get out of school to make enough money to take care of her brother. I tried to explain that we are doing everything humanly possible to help avoid this,trying to provide as much help for him now so he might be able to be on his own when he grows up. Interestingly though, she thinks I am living a pipe dream and that she will some day have to be his caretaker. This really hurt to think that my poor teenager is bearing this kind of weight on her already overloaded shoulders, but also that she felt I was in denial that I might be able to get him to a point where he could be on his own. I don't know but I somehow truly believe that if we work hard enough now, it is possible. I know he is her brother, but I want my other kids to be able to have their own lives. They did not have a child and commit to this kind of a life, it does not seem fair Iw oudl hoist that upon her.... has anyone elese tried to tackle this kind of situation and how did you resolve it? I have heard about the trusts but I am nto even where I need to be for retirement or college for my kids, do I have to start thinking about long term care for him now too? What if we set it up and then he is functioning enough to be on his own afterall? Has anyone else told their other kids they will need to be caretakers or have you found alternate people who could be? I really struggle with what the right thing to do is here. After all these years of him being so abusive I wonder if they could even be objective in caring for him, especially if his aggression issues are not resolved. This is the worry that I can not let go of... From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sun, February 13, 2011 12:04:28 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Sigh........... Meaghan, Well,,,,,I was smiling at the beginning of your reply....hearing that you understood and saw such similarities. Then,,,,I was crying to hear you write about "our" kids. Yeah,,,,it sucks when others think our kids are losers. Plain and simple. I'm used to being places and having other kids say things to him......like "stop it" or whatever. Today....no one said anything. Maybe they thought that one of his parents were in the hot tub, too,,,,so they didn't say anything. I don't kwow what sucks more. When kids say things to try to get him to stop....or when no one says anything. They just sit there freaked out by him. You got it. Our kids are so darned nice. Wonderful. Loving. Caring. Smart. Innocent. And unbelievably OK with themselves. But no one really gets to see it except the ones that HAVE to be around us. he he. His grandparents know him. But, you know what? Even they have had difficulties understanding him totally over the years. I guess I shouldnt' expect too much though, heck - even I struggle with handling it at times. I worry soooo badly about his future. He could live on his own without safety risk - I know. He could do the dishes (as long as there were gloves), wash his clothes, vacuum. Don't know about washing a sink or toilet. He can cook. He may wear the same clothes for 2 weeks straight and never wear deoderant. Might not brush his teeth,,,,but he LOVES to floss. Can't take a crap unless there are wipes. TP is a no no. Sigh..............Did I just say he could live on his own? he he, I just worry. Will he go for an interview at a restaurant at 16 and when they say something about bussing tables or washing dishes or taking out the garbage, will he wrinkle up his face and say, "No way, buddy"? If he tries to get a job at Best Buy with the Geek Squad, will he expect to hang out and test games? (he he). I'm not an idiot, I will obviously have him more prepared to go to interviews....but my point is that I worry that he really is not prepared. No matter how much I talk....and WE talk...and he learns. Or how many times we go over scenarios.......and he understands, there is always going to be a situation that he doesn't deal with correctly. And where most of us can "Wing it",,,,,he can't. Then, they'll can him. And....when they can him, will he even tell me if he's on his own? Will it tick him off and he'll just about his business? I am really freaking out, can you tell? I've talked wtih my 13 yr old daughter about this before, but tonight, I talked with her again, about Ian. About how, if we ever can't take care of him and watch out for him, she will need to. I will also have this talk with the other ones when they are older. knows that he will be "hers" if need be. She can't stand him so much of the time, but she is very protective of him when not wanting to hurt him. he he. I guess I'm rambling. I get so used to seeing him "normal" in my eyes at home. Good in stores.........whatever. Today just really knocked me down. Cocktail time, I think. Robin Karmageddon (n): It's, like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer! From: Meaghan Larson <meaghanlarson@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Sigh........... Date: Saturday, February 12, 2011, 11:43 PM OH Robin!!! Your post made me tear up !! My son who is 5 is the same way , granted i know the age difference is alot between yours and mine , but i feel like you just described my son!! Its hard when you know he isnt trying to be mean or hurtful , but you know how it looks to others , and they think " this child is horrible!!" Its breaks my heart all the time when my son does this to his brothers in public places , he also will do the poking thing to them while saying " poke" each time he pokes them, and the loud crazy sounding laugh when he is getting excited!! I guess i dont have much to say that will probably comfort you , but im sorry you had a emotional day!! WHen those things happen and you see the way people are looking at your son , sometimes dont you just wannt scream " HES NOT A BAD KID , HES NOT TRYING TO HURT HIM, HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND, HES REALLY A GOOD BROTHER...... i just feel like i wanna go explain everything because i hate that others look at my child like he is some criminal!! God it just makes my heart and soul crumble into a million pieces , because i know how loving and kind and smart and funny our boys our , but sadly others only see first impressions of our boys , and sometimes they are not so good first impressions!! I am with you on having an emotional day , and being tired!! I know i shouldnt care what others think , and most of the time i really dont , i try and look at it as well if my son isnt sad , then im not gonna be sad about what people think of him!! But sometimes i break down and just cry all day...like today....!!! Because its so hard to know that my sweet baby boy who i have loved sooo much since the day he was born , a boy who i love way more than i love myself and who i know is so loving and a really great kid , is sometimes looked down on by others!! who know nothing about who he is , or what he goes through inside of his head on a daily basis ! The feeling sometimes of all this stuff that my boys have to go through just breaks me all over again!!But then again i guess maybe im just tired too.....meaghan From: Robin <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 11:15:53 PMSubject: ( ) Sigh........... Today, we took the kids to the Wisconsin Dells to an indoor water park to burn off some energy and I got to see Ian (14) in a way that I haven't seen him in a while. It crushed me, in a way.Now, first, I have to say that he is a good kid. No cruel intentions in him. Sure,,,,,he's almost 15, so of course, aside from how the AS "lets" him know everything, he's a teenager, but man,,,,,,,,,,I was going around checking on the kids and found him in the whirlpool with his 10 yr old brother and I just watched. There were like 5 other adults and 10 other younger kids. No one said anything, but they all kind of looked at him and then would look away, while Ian would splash his younger brother......laugh really loud....then splash again. Then, he'd try to dunk him as playfully as he could. My younger son would say, "Stop Ian" or "knock it off, Ian" and Ian would just keep it up and laugh and laugh. I was so crushed. I was embarrassed....cause I knew I had to stop him.....but I was so crushed. He just didn't get it. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Sigh.SO,,,,,I finally motioned for my younger son to come to me.....which made Ian notice him leaving, so he came out, too.I told him a lie. That the manager was very angry about him splashing his brother which was making others get splashed, too. And that if he did it again, he wouldn't be able to play at the park anymore. He was really sad. Made me mad at myself. I had him come back to the table with me. He was so remorseful. Anyway, we talked about how "if you dont' see others splashing, you shouldn't splash". I asked him if he heard Jack telling him to stop. He said, "No"..........good GOd.And, yes, I know this doesn't sound like much, but it got me thinking. Am I going to always have to be there.....by him....telling him what's appropriate? Motioning to stop? I wonder how the hell is he going to get a job? There are days when he thinks it's funny to "poke" on of his siblings. To really stand there and "poke" them while saying "poke". They are all younger and will get so angry at him.We all yell and tell him to stop.........then he says how sorry he is, says he doesn't know why he does things like that......then we have a chat about things to do or not do....blah blah blah.Maybe I'm just tired. Sounds like a lot of us are, lately.Robin Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.Try the free Beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2011 Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 Hi , I wanted to reply to you your reply about our kids possibly having to take care of our other kids some day. I've never really had a formal sit-down with my 13 yr old daughter about how she'd be the one tasked with her brother. It just became "known" over the years. She always helped. She was the one that I'd say, "Hey, , can you grab Ian's shoes real quick?"....or whatever. She saw him struggling....crying, spazzing out, and saw us dealing with it. She saw him putting cereal boxes around his place at the table in the morning so that no one could look at him. She lived having to be silent every morning so that Ian wouldn't get upset (along with the other kiddo's). She saw what has worked for us over the years. She's defended him against mean comments. She's also verbally attacked him when she's gotten mad, too. So,,,,,,,,when my hubby and I have made comments over the years about how he'll be with us forever,,,,or seriously been chatting about what life may be like for him, we've said off and on, that he may need her if we're not able to be there for him. She has never sighed.....never said no.......she just said, "Yeah,,,,,I know". I've explained that he may simply need a call everyday. Or to have her check in on him from time to time. He may also need to have his own "room" in her home. That, sure, he would have a job, but may need her as his guardian. I believe, that although it's not what we picture for their lives,,,,,,taking care of her brother would simply be HER life. I don't know if I'm missing a gene (he he), but I don't necessarily feel bad for her. Any partner she'd have in life would accept her and my son. Or they wouldnt' be the right ones. I don't see her as missing out on things.......cause it would be HER life. Know what I mean?The alternaive would be him in a group home. For us, personally, it wouldnt be an option. So.....there's my 2 cents. he he. (not worth much). Have a super day!!! Robin "I'm singing.... I'm in a store and I'm singing.......... I'm in a store.... and I'm singing..............." From: Meaghan Larson <meaghanlarson@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Sigh........... Date: Saturday, February 12, 2011, 11:43 PM OH Robin!!! Your post made me tear up !! My son who is 5 is the same way , granted i know the age difference is alot between yours and mine , but i feel like you just described my son!! Its hard when you know he isnt trying to be mean or hurtful , but you know how it looks to others , and they think " this child is horrible!!" Its breaks my heart all the time when my son does this to his brothers in public places , he also will do the poking thing to them while saying " poke" each time he pokes them, and the loud crazy sounding laugh when he is getting excited!! I guess i dont have much to say that will probably comfort you , but im sorry you had a emotional day!! WHen those things happen and you see the way people are looking at your son , sometimes dont you just wannt scream " HES NOT A BAD KID , HES NOT TRYING TO HURT HIM, HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND, HES REALLY A GOOD BROTHER...... i just feel like i wanna go explain everything because i hate that others look at my child like he is some criminal!! God it just makes my heart and soul crumble into a million pieces , because i know how loving and kind and smart and funny our boys our , but sadly others only see first impressions of our boys , and sometimes they are not so good first impressions!! I am with you on having an emotional day , and being tired!! I know i shouldnt care what others think , and most of the time i really dont , i try and look at it as well if my son isnt sad , then im not gonna be sad about what people think of him!! But sometimes i break down and just cry all day...like today....!!! Because its so hard to know that my sweet baby boy who i have loved sooo much since the day he was born , a boy who i love way more than i love myself and who i know is so loving and a really great kid , is sometimes looked down on by others!! who know nothing about who he is , or what he goes through inside of his head on a daily basis ! The feeling sometimes of all this stuff that my boys have to go through just breaks me all over again!!But then again i guess maybe im just tired too.....meaghan From: Robin <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 11:15:53 PMSubject: ( ) Sigh........... Today, we took the kids to the Wisconsin Dells to an indoor water park to burn off some energy and I got to see Ian (14) in a way that I haven't seen him in a while. It crushed me, in a way.Now, first, I have to say that he is a good kid. No cruel intentions in him. Sure,,,,,he's almost 15, so of course, aside from how the AS "lets" him know everything, he's a teenager, but man,,,,,,,,,,I was going around checking on the kids and found him in the whirlpool with his 10 yr old brother and I just watched. There were like 5 other adults and 10 other younger kids. No one said anything, but they all kind of looked at him and then would look away, while Ian would splash his younger brother......laugh really loud....then splash again. Then, he'd try to dunk him as playfully as he could. My younger son would say, "Stop Ian" or "knock it off, Ian" and Ian would just keep it up and laugh and laugh. I was so crushed. I was embarrassed....cause I knew I had to stop him.....but I was so crushed. He just didn't get it. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Sigh.SO,,,,,I finally motioned for my younger son to come to me.....which made Ian notice him leaving, so he came out, too.I told him a lie. That the manager was very angry about him splashing his brother which was making others get splashed, too. And that if he did it again, he wouldn't be able to play at the park anymore. He was really sad. Made me mad at myself. I had him come back to the table with me. He was so remorseful. Anyway, we talked about how "if you dont' see others splashing, you shouldn't splash". I asked him if he heard Jack telling him to stop. He said, "No"..........good GOd.And, yes, I know this doesn't sound like much, but it got me thinking. Am I going to always have to be there.....by him....telling him what's appropriate? Motioning to stop? I wonder how the hell is he going to get a job? There are days when he thinks it's funny to "poke" on of his siblings. To really stand there and "poke" them while saying "poke". They are all younger and will get so angry at him.We all yell and tell him to stop.........then he says how sorry he is, says he doesn't know why he does things like that......then we have a chat about things to do or not do....blah blah blah.Maybe I'm just tired. Sounds like a lot of us are, lately.Robin Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.Try the free Beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Robin, I was just reading this and had to chuckle at the cereal boxes comment. My son used to do the same thing! It use to be so frustrating especially for my older kids who were teenagers at that time. It's funny now when I think back about it. I'm glad there are a lot of things he has "out grown" or gotten over. He used to have a meltdown if anyone touched his bowl or plate. HE had to be the one that got it out of the cupboard.If someone else got it down for him he would refuse to eat out of it and have a fit if you tried to make him. That lasted for a few years. It was nerve racking! ne From: Meaghan Larson <meaghanlarson@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Sigh........... Date: Saturday, February 12, 2011, 11:43 PM OH Robin!!! Your post made me tear up !! My son who is 5 is the same way , granted i know the age difference is alot between yours and mine , but i feel like you just described my son!! Its hard when you know he isnt trying to be mean or hurtful , but you know how it looks to others , and they think " this child is horrible!!" Its breaks my heart all the time when my son does this to his brothers in public places , he also will do the poking thing to them while saying " poke" each time he pokes them, and the loud crazy sounding laugh when he is getting excited!! I guess i dont have much to say that will probably comfort you , but im sorry you had a emotional day!! WHen those things happen and you see the way people are looking at your son , sometimes dont you just wannt scream " HES NOT A BAD KID , HES NOT TRYING TO HURT HIM, HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND, HES REALLY A GOOD BROTHER...... i just feel like i wanna go explain everything because i hate that others look at my child like he is some criminal!! God it just makes my heart and soul crumble into a million pieces , because i know how loving and kind and smart and funny our boys our , but sadly others only see first impressions of our boys , and sometimes they are not so good first impressions!! I am with you on having an emotional day , and being tired!! I know i shouldnt care what others think , and most of the time i really dont , i try and look at it as well if my son isnt sad , then im not gonna be sad about what people think of him!! But sometimes i break down and just cry all day...like today....!!! Because its so hard to know that my sweet baby boy who i have loved sooo much since the day he was born , a boy who i love way more than i love myself and who i know is so loving and a really great kid , is sometimes looked down on by others!! who know nothing about who he is , or what he goes through inside of his head on a daily basis ! The feeling sometimes of all this stuff that my boys have to go through just breaks me all over again!!But then again i guess maybe im just tired too.....meaghan From: Robin <jrisjs@...> Sent: Sat, February 12, 2011 11:15:53 PMSubject: ( ) Sigh........... Today, we took the kids to the Wisconsin Dells to an indoor water park to burn off some energy and I got to see Ian (14) in a way that I haven't seen him in a while. It crushed me, in a way.Now, first, I have to say that he is a good kid. No cruel intentions in him. Sure,,,,,he's almost 15, so of course, aside from how the AS "lets" him know everything, he's a teenager, but man,,,,,,,,,,I was going around checking on the kids and found him in the whirlpool with his 10 yr old brother and I just watched. There were like 5 other adults and 10 other younger kids. No one said anything, but they all kind of looked at him and then would look away, while Ian would splash his younger brother......laugh really loud....then splash again. Then, he'd try to dunk him as playfully as he could. My younger son would say, "Stop Ian" or "knock it off, Ian" and Ian would just keep it up and laugh and laugh. I was so crushed. I was embarrassed....cause I knew I had to stop him.....but I was so crushed. He just didn't get it. Didn't get it. Didn't get it. Sigh.SO,,,,,I finally motioned for my younger son to come to me.....which made Ian notice him leaving, so he came out, too.I told him a lie. That the manager was very angry about him splashing his brother which was making others get splashed, too. And that if he did it again, he wouldn't be able to play at the park anymore. He was really sad. Made me mad at myself. I had him come back to the table with me. He was so remorseful. Anyway, we talked about how "if you dont' see others splashing, you shouldn't splash". I asked him if he heard Jack telling him to stop. He said, "No"..........good GOd.And, yes, I know this doesn't sound like much, but it got me thinking. Am I going to always have to be there.....by him....telling him what's appropriate? Motioning to stop? I wonder how the hell is he going to get a job? There are days when he thinks it's funny to "poke" on of his siblings. To really stand there and "poke" them while saying "poke". They are all younger and will get so angry at him.We all yell and tell him to stop.........then he says how sorry he is, says he doesn't know why he does things like that......then we have a chat about things to do or not do....blah blah blah.Maybe I'm just tired. Sounds like a lot of us are, lately.Robin Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.Try the free Beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.