Re: Re: New to group and new to aspergers

[Guest guest]

Yes, we do remember having those same feelings. Our ds was 17 and high functioning. Had him tested through the school

but oh no....according to him nothing. His scores were to high for their to be aniything. He passed his state test the first time with

a good score and all the measures they were looking for did not show according to them. We just encouraged and pushed him

and talked with his teachers almost daily and did not understand why he seem to have so much trouble. It wasn't until an

article came out in the paper that my husband read and said " that sounds like our son". We had him tested privately but

unfortuately he was entering his senior year. He did graduate but he wouldn't had if we didn't stay in touch with the teachers and

push for him. I've collected so many study sheets, homework assignments, reports requirements. We didn't understand why

he would go to the band room and not eat lunch in the cafeteria. We tried helping him with suggestions for making conversations

to be able to socialize in so many ways. He had one teacher, art teacher, that let him come to her class and he did every chance

he got or to the band room. He never would use a locker. He had a "cubby" which was his shelf in band that he kept his coat,

bookbag, and everything he didn't keep with him all the time. Everyone would say what a likable person he was. Nothing but

good comments on his kindness. They would say how quiet, well mannered but just wouldn't ask questions or ask for help or say

he was having difficulty. He just didn't turn in assignments when due because they were not done. He would work at school

but when he left the school he was done with it. He is now 19 1/2 and has been diagnosed with ADD also. Our biggest hurdle

was that everything was fine. If you ask him about he felt about something ... he was fine. If he got into trouble for not haivng assigments

he would sigh and look up and say it's fine. Confrontations were a killer for him and he would shut down.

We wish you the best of luck and you will see what you need to ask for by just staying in touch with his teachers and class work.

You and your husband are normal parents I would quess. We are used to our kids ways and don't see them in perspective to

the rest of the world until it starts coming together and then its like how did we miss it.

From: debbieln60 <Debbieln60@...> Sent: Wednesday, August 12, 2009 2:00:57 PMSubject: ( ) Re: New to group and new to aspergers

In some ways I am in the same boat. My son, Caleb, 15 was recently diagnosed with AS and significant ADHD inattentive type. As I look back, I see it all so clearly now. He is starting high school this year. This is his first year back in brick/mortar schools if you will. He has been home schooled via Minnesota Virtual Academy. I am very concerned about his returning.He has been enrolled in a High School that has an AS program. I am just concerned that he won't receive the special ed that he needs. He is very smart...but, obviously his social skills will need help. I am so concerned that he won't receive the help he so needs. He is seeing a therapist, and that has helped. I am hoping just being back in the public school setting will help a lot. Now that he knows why he is the way he is that in itself has helped. It is very difficult seeing him try so hard to socialize, but struggling and then just waunders off. Breaks my heart. I have heard really

good things about the program he is going into...i just pray that it will be what he needs. As for medication, he is on Concerta at the moment. It might take a few months to nail the dosage down.A person I met said you really have to advocate for your child to make sure they get what they deserve. He said they have certain rights as to what they need? But, what are those rights? What do I ask the school for to make sure he does get what he deserves? Any suggestions?Has anyone ever just struggled with the feelings of how did I not see this sooner??? What is the matter with me & my husband that we could not see what he was going through?? >> > Social skills: Get a sensory evaluation (psychiatrist

or ped will most likely have to do a referral) done at> > an O.T. place is my best recommendation.> > > > Get your child on the waiting list for a waiver through the department of human services, an appropriate waiver> > for your child's diagnoses in your state (in home services rock, and ours include social skills training as well as a lot> > of community support outside our home and we get respite as well!).> > > > And, an amazing therapist to help teach the child emotions, feelings, etc., etc. etc.....> > > > ANXIETY PROBLEMS: > > SOME ARE GOING TO COMPLAIN BECAUSE I AM GOING TO SUGGEST MEDICATION: That being said, I > > am TOTALLY AWARE THAT MEDS ARE NOT FOR ALL---that is FINE---to each there own: HOWEVER,> > if your child had diabetes and needed insulin to live, would you withhold

the insulin? As professionals told us> > when WE WERE FIGHTING AGAINST MEDS, we would NOT (not give our child insulin---amazing enough, the child> > in question at the time, is NOW A TYPE I DIABETIC, and we are having to GIVE HIM INSULIN----weird, isn't it?), > > and to a person who REALLY HAS ADHD, for example,> > to NOT give them RITALIN so their 'wires' can be reconnected (brain is like that---and 'like wires cut' if have ADHD--> > ritilin 'reconnects the wires')-is just like not giving the Type I diabetic insulin--how professionals explained it to us....> > we agreed, and our lives changed for the better immediately!> > > > ANYWAY, that being said:> > > > I would strongly recommend medicating the child for the anxiety proponet of Aspergers.> > As a professional years ago once told me, when a

person's (anyone, not just 'our' children)> > issue (s) affect the entire family or alter their ability to live every day, it is time to consider> > medications to help and / or to alter doses (if already medicated). Example of each: when > > our 15 year old was 4-9 years of age, he would vomit every single time he went somewhere > > mainly NEW, sometimes multiple times of going there (karate class---he loved it, but we had> > to pull over for him to be ill on the way 1-3 times each time for several weeks)--by 10, we> > were having to cancel trips LITERALLY because he would NOT come with us (or make it so> > there was NO WAY YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE---for real----even to see relatives!). TODAY,> > for a current example now that he IS medicated, we are advocating to have his anxiety med> > put back to where it was (3 times a

day---center he lives in just refuses to do it more than 2 times,> > and his psychiatrist HERE did the 3 times a day and it WORKS AMAZING FOR HIM) because our> > son is having a lot of issues 4-8 pm (which were NOT occuring when he was medicated again at 3 pm> > with his buspar), it is ABOUT like he is NOT medicated again---over the weekend, even though> > he was looking forward to attending our neighborhood block party, at the last minute, we had to> > NOT GO---he was going to totally melt down at nearly 16 years of age over it (and that is NOT OKAY---> > whenever 'the person's' behaviors alter his and / or everyone else's life around them, it is time to> > consider medications- ----my husband and I are again, advocating ---if he were living at home, it would> > NOT BE AN ISSUE---a phone call, explaination of what he is doing, and them

helping us would HAPPEN.> > > > Anyway, we are very upset STILL that we did not get to attend....and that is ONE MINOR event but this> > is for a whole lot of things, and that is just not okay.....> > > > Our eight year old has been medicated for the anxiety proponent since he was 5, and recently, he was> > like NON-MEDICATED for anxiety----jets were hitting our home, any noise was a break in to kill us and all> > the other over the top stop---a minor dose adjustment was what the psychiatrist suggested, and two months> > later, our son is like a new kiddos-----.> > > > Most important to remember is that NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE TO FEEL LIKE THAT, so, our kids need our help....> > > > Since your child is sooooo obviously having severe anxiety, your pediatrician may be willing to medicate the

child> > for anxiety...if so, great....... .......if not, you will have to wait to get the child in to a psychiatrist. I would still> > recommend seeing a psychiatrist ANYWAY and letting them regulate those medications; the pediatrician may be> > willing to help you in the 'meantime' as it can take 2-6 months to get in to the psychiatrist for the first time, and it> > sounds like your child cannot wait as school is just about to start.....advocate THAT way to the pediatrician, and> > they may be happy to help you as well as SUGGEST a psychiatrist TO GO TO in your area. Good luck.> > > > Ruthie and Dolezal> > parents of 15 and 8 year old sons with A.S. (and more)> > and NT 6 years and 10 weeks old sons.> > > > > From: amanda.walton77@ ...> Date: Wed, 12 Aug 2009 02:02:20 +0000> Subject: ( ) New to group and new to aspergers> > > > > > Hi! I'm Walton and I live in Greeville, Texas. I have a 6 year old boy who was recently diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome by his pediatrician. I was told by someone that in order to get any help from his school the school will also have to evaluate him. We knew since he was very little that he had social anxiety issues but never really followed through with our suspicions and know he is about to start first grade and tells us he hates school and is never going back. Last year he spent about three months of school vomiting because school made him so anxious. I am really worried about this year and what I will have to go through to get my son the help he

needs. If anyone has any advice for a beginner please let me know. What should I tell his teacher and how should I go about getting help. Also if anyone has any ideas on teaching social skills or dealing with social situations please let me know. > > Thank you all in advance, > >

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all the imput, and kind words.  Much appreciated!

On Wed, Aug 12, 2009 at 2:59 PM, r_woman2 <me2ruth@...> wrote:

 

>> > A person I met said you really have to advocate for your child to make sure they get what they deserve. He said they have certain rights as to what they need? But, what are those rights? What do I ask the school for to make sure he does get what he deserves? Any suggestions?

Since he is in a program for AS, the first step would be to look at what he is getting versus what he needs. What does this program entail, exactly? What do your son's evaluations say he needs help with? Does he need more evaluating or observations to be able to tell? What needs has the school established? Do you agree? Do you think they are missing anything? Do you agree that the interventions planned will work? Do you have other ideas that they have not thought of (and vice versa)? > Has anyone ever just struggled with the feelings of how did I not see this sooner??? What is the matter with me & my husband that we could not see what he was going through??

{{{hugs}}} Don't blame yourselves. Try to move on and focus on the future. High school is not too late. Our son was not officially diagnosed until age 12, so you are not alone.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Vickie,

We have discussed medication for the anxiety, but would like to use medication as a last resort. We have a district wide meet the teacher night this Thursday and are hoping it will help. I have heard that IEPs and 504s can take awhile. Thanks for the link on the process for getting the process started. I did find a friend at church who has many available resources that may help me including local aspergers support groups. Thanks for your help,

From: Vickie Boehnlein <baneline1@...> Sent: Wednesday, August 12, 2009 9:15:52 AMSubject: ( ) Re: New to group and new to aspergers

Yes he will need to be evaluated by the school. Push for an IEP not a 504 if possible. Check out this website for information on the process in Texas. Start this process asap because it can take a while. http://www.texaspro jectfirst. org/ Have you talked to your dr about medicine for the anxiety? Try contacting your sons teacher before school starts. Sit down with him/her and provide as much information about your son as possible. Maybe you could have your son meet the teacher in advance and tour the school. This may help him with his anxiety.Good luck.Vickie>> Hi! I'm Walton and I live in

Greeville, Texas. I have a 6 year old boy who was recently diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome by his pediatrician. I was told by someone that in order to get any help from his school the school will also have to evaluate him. We knew since he was very little that he had social anxiety issues but never really followed through with our suspicions and know he is about to start first grade and tells us he hates school and is never going back. Last year he spent about three months of school vomiting because school made him so anxious. I am really worried about this year and what I will have to go through to get my son the help he needs. If anyone has any advice for a beginner please let me know. What should I tell his teacher and how should I go about getting help. Also if anyone has any ideas on teaching social skills or dealing with social situations please let me know. > > Thank you all in advance, >

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[Guest guest]

To learn about your rights and your ds's rights at his new school, you can go to www.wrightslaw.com and read! And ask us here - we like to share!

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) New to group and new to aspergers

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> Hi! I'm Walton and I live in Greeville, Texas. I have a 6 year old boy who was recently diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome by his pediatrician. I was told by someone that in order to get any help from his school the school will also have to evaluate him. We knew since he was very little that he had social anxiety issues but never really followed through with our suspicions and know he is about to start first grade and tells us he hates school and is never going back. Last year he spent about three months of school vomiting because school made him so anxious. I am really worried about this year and what I will have to go through to get my son the help he needs. If anyone has any advice for a beginner please let me know. What should I tell his teacher and how should I go about getting help. Also if anyone has any ideas on teaching social skills or dealing with social situations please let me know.

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> Thank you all in advance,

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