Re: some progress forward with our IEP

October 5, 2009

Wow, I'm impressed and happy for you. Would you mind, please, for the benefit of

the rest of us that don't have a bil like your's, let us in on what he said? To

give us an idea of how he navigated the conversation with the principal--any

tips or pointers where he really got things moving?

I'm really glad that you didn't give up or give in. You had a very successful

interaction!! Congrat's!!

>

> Today we had yet another IEP meeting for my ds, Nicolas (7).ï¿½ It actually

went well.ï¿½ As of last week, Nicolas has had 4 days of suspension already

because of his meltdowns, so his VP had suggested home bound services until we

could get him into the appropriate program for Asperger's.ï¿½ My brother-in-law

is a special education professional, and he advised me that this was a horrible

idea, because it's taking him from the least restrictive environment (half day

inclusion) and moving him to the most restrictive.ï¿½ They only offer 1 hour a

day for home bound services, therefore he would go from 6 hours of instruction

to 1.ï¿½ We didn't feel that this was at all beneficial to my son, but to the

school so they wouldn't have to " deal with him " until he gets approved for this

program.ï¿½ï¿½

> ï¿½ They weren't very happy when I got my brother-in-law on the speaker phone

and let him sit in with our meeting from California to be my adviser, but it got

the results I was looking for.ï¿½ We removed him from inclusion for 95% of the

day, so he wasn't moving from class to class with 25+ other kids all day.ï¿½ The

most kids that he is going to be around on a normal basis is 8 or 9, which is

great for a public school.ï¿½ They are also required now to keep a behavior log,

so we can monitor what is causing his rages and meltdowns.ï¿½ I didn't know

until today that a few reasons he was having these problems were COMPLETELY

preventable.ï¿½ They changed his seating arrangement without telling him, so he

got mad when another student " took his seat, " and also he is really big on

rules, so another student broke one right in front of him(cut in line) and

wasn't addressed by an adult, so he took it upon himself toï¿½make sure that

girl knew she broke a rule.ï¿½ The

> staff at his school aren't educated at all with any sort of autism,

especially the high functioning end.ï¿½ I feel that since they have a student

that has this diagnosis, it is their responsibility to educate themselves.ï¿½

> ï¿½ Sorry about this ramble, but the meeting lasted almost 2 hours because we

were making sure that every little detail was addressed.ï¿½ They are still

working on changing his label from E.D. to Autistic, since he just received his

Dx this passed summer, but other than that the IEP is looking better and

better.ï¿½ I was always scared of the schools because they make it seem like

they know everything, but the more I learn, the more I realize that I am

definitely in the driver's seat, and even though I'm only 25, I will make them

give my child the education he deserves.ï¿½

> ï¿½

> JEN

>

October 6, 2009

Well, basically the staff had no idea that my BIL was a special ed. professional, so that totally caught them off gaurd (it was wonderful to watch their expressions change the second he started speaking the jargon of special ed).

Last Thursday I had a conversation with the principal about taking my son out of school and giving him homebound services because of his out of control behavior, until we can get him into the Asperger program, at the time that sounded like the easiest thing for me. Since I know how to control the meltdowns and rages I thought, of course, this is going to be the easiest solution. When I told my BIL about those plans he told me ABSOLUTELY not, because that is not going to be his least restrictive environment, as a matter of fact, that would be the opposite, and Nicolas isn't that extreme. So the first thing he said on the speaker phone was "first and foremost, I have advised not to sign anything today, until we have a chance to take it home and read it word for word, and also show it to our family special ed lawyer and advisers." I don't have a personal lawyer, but he knows someone who wanted to take a look at

it. He said that you always at least pretend that you have someone working for you, it scares the school, because they assume all parents are ignorant and will cave into everything they ask. Plus, there are free and low cost special ed lawyers for almost every state.

He also said a lot of the time, the school's number 1 priority is funding and money. They will try to take the cheapest way out 99.9% of the time. In our case, of course it's easier to send Nicolas home with only 1 hour of instruction a day, that may cost the school $100 a week, instead of the thousands it would cost to actually address his issues. So make sure that you know exactly what you want done, and if they tell you no, they're usually lying.

He suggested to have all meetings video recorded or voice recorded, this assures the schools will watch what they say as far as trying to manipulate the parents. They might not have a video/voice recording device on hand, but you can always post pone the meeting until they do. You may have to sign a release, but that's about it.

The number one thing he has taught me is all of our children's right to education includes being able to be taught in the LEAST RESTRICTIVE ENVIRONMENT. That is a special ed's mantra. Especially at the elementary school level, it is crucial that our kids get the molding that is going to make them the successful adults we all want them to be.

Sorry for yet another long email, but I was trying to help as much as possible to help everyone elses IEP meetings in the future go well. Remember, YOU ARE HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR CHILD, not the schools. They want so bad for us to think they have final word in everything, but it's completely false. Good luck everyone! Jen

From: lovetoeatchocolatecake <doyourecycle@...> Sent: Monday, October 5, 2009 9:41:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: some progress forward with our IEP

Wow, I'm impressed and happy for you. Would you mind, please, for the benefit of the rest of us that don't have a bil like your's, let us in on what he said? To give us an idea of how he navigated the conversation with the principal--any tips or pointers where he really got things moving?I'm really glad that you didn't give up or give in. You had a very successful interaction! ! Congrat's!!>> Today we had yet another IEP meeting for my ds, Nicolas (7).ï¿½ It actually went well.ï¿½ As of last week, Nicolas has had 4 days of suspension already because of his meltdowns, so his VP had suggested home bound services until we could get him into the appropriate program for Asperger's.ï¿½ My

brother-in-law is a special education professional, and he advised me that this was a horrible idea, because it's taking him from the least restrictive environment (half day inclusion) and moving him to the most restrictive.ï¿½ They only offer 1 hour a day for home bound services, therefore he would go from 6 hours of instruction to 1.ï¿½ We didn't feel that this was at all beneficial to my son, but to the school so they wouldn't have to "deal with him" until he gets approved for this program.ï¿½ï¿½ > ï¿½ They weren't very happy when I got my brother-in-law on the speaker phone and let him sit in with our meeting from California to be my adviser, but it got the results I was looking for.ï¿½ We removed him from inclusion for 95% of the day, so he wasn't moving from class to class with 25+ other kids all day.ï¿½ The most kids that he is going to be around on a normal basis is 8 or 9, which is great for a public school.ï¿½

They are also required now to keep a behavior log, so we can monitor what is causing his rages and meltdowns.ï¿½ I didn't know until today that a few reasons he was having these problems were COMPLETELY preventable.ï¿½ They changed his seating arrangement without telling him, so he got mad when another student "took his seat," and also he is really big on rules, so another student broke one right in front of him(cut in line) and wasn't addressed by an adult, so he took it upon himself toï¿½make sure that girl knew she broke a rule.ï¿½ The> staff at his school aren't educated at all with any sort of autism, especially the high functioning end.ï¿½ I feel that since they have a student that has this diagnosis, it is their responsibility to educate themselves.ï¿½ > ï¿½ Sorry about this ramble, but the meeting lasted almost 2 hours because we were making sure that every little detail was addressed.ï¿½ They are still

working on changing his label from E.D. to Autistic, since he just received his Dx this passed summer, but other than that the IEP is looking better and better.ï¿½ I was always scared of the schools because they make it seem like they know everything, but the more I learn, the more I realize that I am definitely in the driver's seat, and even though I'm only 25, I will make them give my child the education he deserves.ï¿½ > ï¿½> JEN>

October 6, 2009

Wow, good stuff. Just pisses me off that the school's don't want to do the right thing just because it's the right thing. They, maybe, do the right thing only if they're forced to!! Thanks for posting. Wish I had a family member in that profession!!

On Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 11:35 AM, Chambers <missjen0124@...> wrote:

Well, basically the staff had no idea that my BIL was a special ed. professional, so that totally caught them off gaurd (it was wonderful to watch their expressions change the second he started speaking the jargon of special ed).

Last Thursday I had a conversation with the principal about taking my son out of school and giving him homebound services because of his out of control behavior, until we can get him into the Asperger program, at the time that sounded like the easiest thing for me. Since I know how to control the meltdowns and rages I thought, of course, this is going to be the easiest solution. When I told my BIL about those plans he told me ABSOLUTELY not, because that is not going to be his least restrictive environment, as a matter of fact, that would be the opposite, and Nicolas isn't that extreme. So the first thing he said on the speaker phone was " first and foremost, I have advised not to sign anything today, until we have a chance to take it home and read it word for word, and also show it to our family special ed lawyer and advisers. " I don't have a personal lawyer, but he knows someone who wanted to take a look at

it. He said that you always at least pretend that you have someone working for you, it scares the school, because they assume all parents are ignorant and will cave into everything they ask. Plus, there are free and low cost special ed lawyers for almost every state.

He also said a lot of the time, the school's number 1 priority is funding and money. They will try to take the cheapest way out 99.9% of the time. In our case, of course it's easier to send Nicolas home with only 1 hour of instruction a day, that may cost the school $100 a week, instead of the thousands it would cost to actually address his issues. So make sure that you know exactly what you want done, and if they tell you no, they're usually lying.

He suggested to have all meetings video recorded or voice recorded, this assures the schools will watch what they say as far as trying to manipulate the parents. They might not have a video/voice recording device on hand, but you can always post pone the meeting until they do. You may have to sign a release, but that's about it.

The number one thing he has taught me is all of our children's right to education includes being able to be taught in the LEAST RESTRICTIVE ENVIRONMENT. That is a special ed's mantra. Especially at the elementary school level, it is crucial that our kids get the molding that is going to make them the successful adults we all want them to be.

Sorry for yet another long email, but I was trying to help as much as possible to help everyone elses IEP meetings in the future go well. Remember, YOU ARE HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR CHILD, not the schools. They want so bad for us to think they have final word in everything, but it's completely false. Good luck everyone!

Jen

From: lovetoeatchocolatecake <doyourecycle@...>

Sent: Monday, October 5, 2009 9:41:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: some progress forward with our IEP

Wow, I'm impressed and happy for you. Would you mind, please, for the benefit of the rest of us that don't have a bil like your's, let us in on what he said? To give us an idea of how he navigated the conversation with the principal--any tips or pointers where he really got things moving?

I'm really glad that you didn't give up or give in. You had a very successful interaction! ! Congrat's!!

>> Today we had yet another IEP meeting for my ds, Nicolas (7).ï¿½ It actually went well.ï¿½ As of last week, Nicolas has had 4 days of suspension already because of his meltdowns, so his VP had suggested home bound services until we could get him into the appropriate program for Asperger's.ï¿½ My

brother-in-law is a special education professional, and he advised me that this was a horrible idea, because it's taking him from the least restrictive environment (half day inclusion) and moving him to the most restrictive.ï¿½ They only offer 1 hour a day for home bound services, therefore he would go from 6 hours of instruction to 1.ï¿½ We didn't feel that this was at all beneficial to my son, but to the school so they wouldn't have to " deal with him " until he gets approved for this program.ï¿½ï¿½

> ï¿½ They weren't very happy when I got my brother-in-law on the speaker phone and let him sit in with our meeting from California to be my adviser, but it got the results I was looking for.ï¿½ We removed him from inclusion for 95% of the day, so he wasn't moving from class to class with 25+ other kids all day.ï¿½ The most kids that he is going to be around on a normal basis is 8 or 9, which is great for a public school.ï¿½

They are also required now to keep a behavior log, so we can monitor what is causing his rages and meltdowns.ï¿½ I didn't know until today that a few reasons he was having these problems were COMPLETELY preventable.ï¿½ They changed his seating arrangement without telling him, so he got mad when another student " took his seat, " and also he is really big on rules, so another student broke one right in front of him(cut in line) and wasn't addressed by an adult, so he took it upon himself toï¿½make sure that girl knew she broke a rule.ï¿½ The

> staff at his school aren't educated at all with any sort of autism, especially the high functioning end.ï¿½ I feel that since they have a student that has this diagnosis, it is their responsibility to educate themselves.ï¿½

> ï¿½ Sorry about this ramble, but the meeting lasted almost 2 hours because we were making sure that every little detail was addressed.ï¿½ They are still

working on changing his label from E.D. to Autistic, since he just received his Dx this passed summer, but other than that the IEP is looking better and better.ï¿½ I was always scared of the schools because they make it seem like they know everything, but the more I learn, the more I realize that I am definitely in the driver's seat, and even though I'm only 25, I will make them give my child the education he deserves.ï¿½

> ï¿½> JEN>

October 6, 2009

Wow, so glad your BIL is being sooo helpful, he really helped get things right!

Just wanted to add re the school that one way I look at it is that they are

going to have your son in their school system for the next 11 years, they should

be jumping at getting him the supports he needs NOW at this age to help the

future years go much better and for him to stay on grade level, etc. (help it

go better for your son AND thus for THEM!)

>

> Well, basically the staff had no idea that my BIL was a special ed.

professional, so that totally caught them off gaurd (it was wonderful to watch

their expressions change the second he started speaking the jargon of special

ed).

> Last Thursday I had a conversation with the principal about taking my son

out of school and giving him homebound services because of his out of control

behavior, until we can get him into the

October 7, 2009

Thanks Jen,

I have a parents evening soon and feel totally dominated by the school, I have a sister in law that is a head teacher at a school, she has been asking me why the school my son goes to will not push on with his "hot subjects" they just keep telling me things like.. no point in pushing his reading because his hand writing is bad. Think I will try some of your advice.

Lor B

From: Chambers <missjen0124@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: some progress forward with our IEP Date: Tuesday, 6 October, 2009, 4:35 PM

Well, basically the staff had no idea that my BIL was a special ed. professional, so that totally caught them off gaurd (it was wonderful to watch their expressions change the second he started speaking the jargon of special ed).

Last Thursday I had a conversation with the principal about taking my son out of school and giving him homebound services because of his out of control behavior, until we can get him into the Asperger program, at the time that sounded like the easiest thing for me. Since I know how to control the meltdowns and rages I thought, of course, this is going to be the easiest solution. When I told my BIL about those plans he told me ABSOLUTELY not, because that is not going to be his least restrictive environment, as a matter of fact, that would be the opposite, and Nicolas isn't that extreme. So the first thing he said on the speaker phone was "first and foremost, I have advised not to sign anything today, until we have a chance to take it home and read it word for word, and also show it to our family special ed lawyer and advisers." I don't have a personal lawyer, but he knows someone who wanted to take a look at

it. He said that you always at least pretend that you have someone working for you, it scares the school, because they assume all parents are ignorant and will cave into everything they ask. Plus, there are free and low cost special ed lawyers for almost every state.

He also said a lot of the time, the school's number 1 priority is funding and money. They will try to take the cheapest way out 99.9% of the time. In our case, of course it's easier to send Nicolas home with only 1 hour of instruction a day, that may cost the school $100 a week, instead of the thousands it would cost to actually address his issues. So make sure that you know exactly what you want done, and if they tell you no, they're usually lying.

He suggested to have all meetings video recorded or voice recorded, this assures the schools will watch what they say as far as trying to manipulate the parents. They might not have a video/voice recording device on hand, but you can always post pone the meeting until they do. You may have to sign a release, but that's about it.

The number one thing he has taught me is all of our children's right to education includes being able to be taught in the LEAST RESTRICTIVE ENVIRONMENT. That is a special ed's mantra. Especially at the elementary school level, it is crucial that our kids get the molding that is going to make them the successful adults we all want them to be.

Sorry for yet another long email, but I was trying to help as much as possible to help everyone elses IEP meetings in the future go well. Remember, YOU ARE HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR CHILD, not the schools. They want so bad for us to think they have final word in everything, but it's completely false. Good luck everyone! Jen

From: lovetoeatchocolatec ake <doyourecycle@ gmail.com> Sent: Monday, October 5, 2009 9:41:01 PMSubject: ( ) Re: some progress forward with our IEP

Wow, I'm impressed and happy for you. Would you mind, please, for the benefit of the rest of us that don't have a bil like your's, let us in on what he said? To give us an idea of how he navigated the conversation with the principal--any tips or pointers where he really got things moving?I'm really glad that you didn't give up or give in. You had a very successful interaction! ! Congrat's!!>> Today we had yet another IEP meeting for my ds, Nicolas (7).ï¿½ It actually went well.ï¿½ As of last week, Nicolas has had 4 days of suspension already because of his meltdowns, so his VP had suggested home bound services until we could get him into the appropriate

program for Asperger's.ï¿½ My brother-in-law is a special education professional, and he advised me that this was a horrible idea, because it's taking him from the least restrictive environment (half day inclusion) and moving him to the most restrictive.ï¿½ They only offer 1 hour a day for home bound services, therefore he would go from 6 hours of instruction to 1.ï¿½ We didn't feel that this was at all beneficial to my son, but to the school so they wouldn't have to "deal with him" until he gets approved for this program.ï¿½ï¿½ > ï¿½ They weren't very happy when I got my brother-in-law on the speaker phone and let him sit in with our meeting from California to be my adviser, but it got the results I was looking for.ï¿½ We removed him from inclusion for 95% of the day, so he wasn't moving from class to class with 25+ other kids all day.ï¿½ The most kids that he is going to be around on a normal basis is 8 or 9, which is

great for a public school.ï¿½ They are also required now to keep a behavior log, so we can monitor what is causing his rages and meltdowns.ï¿½ I didn't know until today that a few reasons he was having these problems were COMPLETELY preventable.ï¿½ They changed his seating arrangement without telling him, so he got mad when another student "took his seat," and also he is really big on rules, so another student broke one right in front of him(cut in line) and wasn't addressed by an adult, so he took it upon himself toï¿½make sure that girl knew she broke a rule.ï¿½ The> staff at his school aren't educated at all with any sort of autism, especially the high functioning end.ï¿½ I feel that since they have a student that has this diagnosis, it is their responsibility to educate themselves.ï¿½ > ï¿½ Sorry about this ramble, but the meeting lasted almost 2 hours because we were making sure that every little detail was

addressed.ï¿½ They are still working on changing his label from E.D. to Autistic, since he just received his Dx this passed summer, but other than that the IEP is looking better and better.ï¿½ I was always scared of the schools because they make it seem like they know everything, but the more I learn, the more I realize that I am definitely in the driver's seat, and even though I'm only 25, I will make them give my child the education he deserves.ï¿½ > ï¿½> JEN>

October 7, 2009

WOW! reading and handwriting have nothing to do with eachother. As a matter of fact, my son has AWFUL handwriting, it hasn't evolved since he was 4 (he's almost 8), but he is so smart that he gets frustrated with his bad handwriting. We had written into his IEP that he gets to use an AlphaSmart computer, which is just this little keyboard where he gets to type out written asignments instead of writing them. You can demand one of those too, it's already showed SERIOUS improvement in my son's behavior at home and at school (at home we use the computer, but he types his homework now).

From: Lorraine son <lorrainedavidson12@...> Sent: Wed, October 7, 2009 4:28:09 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: some progress forward with our IEP

Thanks Jen,

I have a parents evening soon and feel totally dominated by the school, I have a sister in law that is a head teacher at a school, she has been asking me why the school my son goes to will not push on with his "hot subjects" they just keep telling me things like.. no point in pushing his reading because his hand writing is bad. Think I will try some of your advice.

Lor B

From: Chambers <missjen0124>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: some progress forward with our IEP Date: Tuesday, 6 October, 2009, 4:35 PM