spouse not understanding asperger daughter

[Guest guest]

My husband just doesn't understand our 11 yod. He just can't seem to see past

her behavior and see she is not always acting out on purpose. She can't help

it. She is not having fun and hates it when she hurts others by the way she

acts. It is a real issue in out family. He also suffers from depression (maybe

bi polar). I am always in the middle. I feel that I am her only advocate. I

wish he was there for me and her. Sometimes he is, but mostly he is not. Anyone

else going through this also?

[Guest guest]

Its amazing how they can stand up sometimes when need be, dh was like

that but I have been very hormonal this pregnancy and been very much

less understanding and he has stepped up to be the intervention now,

I've been shocked

On 5/10/10, <nforaker@...> wrote:

> My husband just doesn't understand our 11 yod. He just can't seem to see

> past her behavior and see she is not always acting out on purpose. She

> can't help it. She is not having fun and hates it when she hurts others by

> the way she acts. It is a real issue in out family. He also suffers from

> depression (maybe bi polar). I am always in the middle. I feel that I am

> her only advocate. I wish he was there for me and her. Sometimes he is,

> but mostly he is not. Anyone else going through this also?

>

>

--

Sent from my mobile device

-mommy to Emma, Becca, ,

, , and baby girl no name (yeah I know, nothing new, does

ever pick a name in a timely manner?) July 2010

[Guest guest]

Just keep doing what you are doing, he may need a longer time to come around. It will also help if he hears information from a professional - counselor, psychiatrist, etc. Has he gone with you to see those people when your daughter was evaluated? Try to get him to come to one of your next appointments, tell him it will mean a lot to you and your daughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suzanne

suzmarkwood@...

From: <nforaker@...>Subject: ( ) spouse not understanding asperger daughter Date: Monday, May 10, 2010, 7:58 PM

My husband just doesn't understand our 11 yod. He just can't seem to see past her behavior and see she is not always acting out on purpose. She can't help it. She is not having fun and hates it when she hurts others by the way she acts. It is a real issue in out family. He also suffers from depression (maybe bi polar). I am always in the middle. I feel that I am her only advocate. I wish he was there for me and her. Sometimes he is, but mostly he is not. Anyone else going through this also?

[Guest guest]

Thanks. I too need groups like this to come to also to get support.

My husband works a lot. So he is not home as much to see how things are.

Sometimes I feel like a single parent. It is hard to have to make all of these

decisions on your own. If I ask him he usually doesn't really have an opinion

about the situation. So I am left to decide on my own.

I have started going to the Autistic Support meetings. We also are starting

TEACCH. He is going with me to them so I am happy about that and hopeful that

it will help him understand. We don't go until Aug. for the parent training

program.

>

> Yes, my husband thought I was making things up but he doesn't spend much

> close time with our daughter to notice. he has aspergers along with other

> undiagnosed behaviors such as anger, moodiness, hyperness. After work, he

> isolates himself and plays computer games or watches sports. He will join

> us if we are doing an activity that interests him. I too wish I had a

> partner that I could share viewpoints and strategies or just understanding.

> Since I don't, I come to this group for those things and I spend the first

> 10 minutes of my daughters therapy session talking to her therapist about

> problems and strategies. Another support resource is the local monthly

> autism group meetings, but I cant always attend those meetings.

>

>

>

> Best wishes, melody

>

[Guest guest]

Exactly :)Sent from my iPhoneOn 12/05/2010, at 6:32 AM, Barbara Pinckney <b-pinckney@...> wrote:

That sounds like my husband and I. He says I take my dd's side against him, but all I am really trying do is broker peace. From: jazjamloch Date: Tue, 11 May 2010 12:56:47 -0700Subject: ( ) spouse not understanding asperger daughter

Hey,

I did have a lot of issues. But since diagnosis I have been getting hubby to read or I will read a page from the current aspie book.

A lot of the time I will pull him aside and say things like - your using too many words how do you expect him to understand?

But sometimes he thinks I make excuses for him. So we are still trying to reach a happy medium as I am too soft and he is too hard.

It is a constant battle but one worth fighting!

Sometimes he is on our side when it comes to school issues but sometimes I really need to explain sons behaviours before he gets it.

Keep trying

Sent from my iPhone

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