Guest guest Posted December 20, 2009 Report Share Posted December 20, 2009 Parents with multiple children, could you please write a few of your insights on the younger siblings of children with Asperger's? I have two boys, close in age --- the older is diagnosed with AS. I am constantly puzzling over whether his younger brother is presenting with actual AS characteristics, or whether he is shadowing his older brother. Can anyone relate, and how did you begin the process of figuring out what is AS for the second time, versus what are learned behaviors? My sons, by the way, are very similar in personality, academics, likes and dislikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2009 Report Share Posted December 21, 2009 My daughter has a lot of asperger traits but I don't believe she has AS because her social skills are very good. She has sensory integration dysfunction, anxiety and OCD. I had her evaluated at Easterseals recently and they felt her social skills were very good. I have had some people say that since AS is different in girls that maybe she really does have it but I do know a few AS girls and all of them have social skill difficulties. I'm going to be taking her to a pediatric neurologist for possible meds for the OCD. She has training in child psychiatry as well as neurology. She may have a different opinion. I need to call them today to see if we can get the appointment. They were supposed to call me when they got the referral and didn't. Miriam > > Parents with multiple children, could you please write a few of your insights on the younger siblings of children with Asperger's? I have two boys, close in age --- the older is diagnosed with AS. I am constantly puzzling over whether his younger brother is presenting with actual AS characteristics, or whether he is shadowing his older brother. Can anyone relate, and how did you begin the process of figuring out what is AS for the second time, versus what are learned behaviors? My sons, by the way, are very similar in personality, academics, likes and dislikes. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2009 Report Share Posted December 21, 2009 I can relate to this.. my oldest has AS and my youngest does not. He doesnt present AS behaviors, etc but he is super sensative and occassionaly easily overwhelmed by the chaos in my house. It can be very very difficult. ( ) Siblings of AS children Parents with multiple children, could you please write a few of your insights on the younger siblings of children with Asperger's? I have two boys, close in age --- the older is diagnosed with AS. I am constantly puzzling over whether his younger brother is presenting with actual AS characteristics, or whether he is shadowing his older brother. Can anyone relate, and how did you begin the process of figuring out what is AS for the second time, versus what are learned behaviors? My sons, by the way, are very similar in personality, academics, likes and dislikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 This is a very interesting topic. I have a few thoughts on this. Let me first tell you that I have an 11 year old boy AS/PDD-NOS and two girls ages 8 and 5. On the first issue about seeing AS traits in the siblings I think there are a couple of factors. First as parents when we go through the diagnosis process and learning about our AS child we learn what to watch for. I think that almost everyone has AS triats on different levels but most are so slight or subtle that no one would notice them other than a parent that is looking. Secondly, based on the number of parents just on this forum alone that have multiple children on the spectrum I think that there must definitely be a genetic componant. And finally I think without a doubt younger siblings pick up on and duplicate the behaviors of their older siblings (good or bad). As for my kids, because my son was the oldest we had no idea about the AS or really any problems until he started school. We had no comparison but as our daughters have grown we now know that there were a lot of signs that we missed. My middle daughter is very much NT. Other than a personality that entails a very stubborn streak (which she gets from mom) she is extrememly " normal " . My youngest daughter has some very similar traits to my son. We are watching her developement closely. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that she is AS also but she has been in early childhood since she was 3 and definitely has some cognitive language delay. My approach is to be proactive without jumping to any conclusions. She is nearing the age where if there are more issues they will start to become more noticible as school gets more difficult. Hope that this helps a little. Vickie > > Parents with multiple children, could you please write a few of your insights on the younger siblings of children with Asperger's? I have two boys, close in age --- the older is diagnosed with AS. I am constantly puzzling over whether his younger brother is presenting with actual AS characteristics, or whether he is shadowing his older brother. Can anyone relate, and how did you begin the process of figuring out what is AS for the second time, versus what are learned behaviors? My sons, by the way, are very similar in personality, academics, likes and dislikes. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2009 Report Share Posted December 22, 2009 This is an interesting issue because I grew up with a brother who is autistic, (plus legally blind and hearing impaired.) When we were young, he was quiet and just behaved oddly. We traveled a lot and I always took him with me. I was proud of what he COULD do and could never understand why people would say mean things or look at him oddly. I grew up defending him by educating others, even from an early age. As he aged, he became more self-abusive and had to be hospitalized. As my parents grew older, he went into a residential placement. My point is, having such a brother profoundly affected my life. I have worked in the field of blindness for 34 years and I have 5 children with disabilities. It has been suggested that a lot of siblings of children with disabilities go into that field as a profession. My parents have both passed away, but my brother still comes home for the weekend, as he did when they were alive. Now, however, he comes to my house where my children are just as patient and loving with him as I was. Lindsey sen http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com  On Tue, Dec 22, 2009 at 2:57 PM, baneline1 <baneline1@...> wrote:  This is a very interesting topic. I have a few thoughts on this. Let me first tell you that I have an 11 year old boy AS/PDD-NOS and two girls ages 8 and 5. On the first issue about seeing AS traits in the siblings I think there are a couple of factors. First as parents when we go through the diagnosis process and learning about our AS child we learn what to watch for. I think that almost everyone has AS triats on different levels but most are so slight or subtle that no one would notice them other than a parent that is looking. Secondly, based on the number of parents just on this forum alone that have multiple children on the spectrum I think that there must definitely be a genetic componant. And finally I think without a doubt younger siblings pick up on and duplicate the behaviors of their older siblings (good or bad). As for my kids, because my son was the oldest we had no idea about the AS or really any problems until he started school. We had no comparison but as our daughters have grown we now know that there were a lot of signs that we missed. My middle daughter is very much NT. Other than a personality that entails a very stubborn streak (which she gets from mom) she is extrememly " normal " . My youngest daughter has some very similar traits to my son. We are watching her developement closely. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that she is AS also but she has been in early childhood since she was 3 and definitely has some cognitive language delay. My approach is to be proactive without jumping to any conclusions. She is nearing the age where if there are more issues they will start to become more noticible as school gets more difficult. Hope that this helps a little.Vickie>> Parents with multiple children, could you please write a few of your insights on the younger siblings of children with Asperger's? I have two boys, close in age --- the older is diagnosed with AS. I am constantly puzzling over whether his younger brother is presenting with actual AS characteristics, or whether he is shadowing his older brother. Can anyone relate, and how did you begin the process of figuring out what is AS for the second time, versus what are learned behaviors? My sons, by the way, are very similar in personality, academics, likes and dislikes. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Awesome, Lindsey, I totally agree that, although siblings will be siblings,,,,,,,,they have more compassion for others who struggle. Big time. Maybe that's a "positive" out of all this. Robin This is a very interesting topic. I have a few thoughts on this. Let me first tell you that I have an 11 year old boy AS/PDD-NOS and two girls ages 8 and 5. On the first issue about seeing AS traits in the siblings I think there are a couple of factors. First as parents when we go through the diagnosis process and learning about our AS child we learn what to watch for. I think that almost everyone has AS triats on different levels but most are so slight or subtle that no one would notice them other than a parent that is looking. Secondly, based on the number of parents just on this forum alone that have multiple children on the spectrum I think that there must definitely be a genetic componant. And finally I think without a doubt younger siblings pick up on and duplicate the behaviors of their older siblings (good or bad).As for my kids, because my son was the oldest we had no idea about the AS or really any problems until he started school. We had no comparison but as our daughters have grown we now know that there were a lot of signs that we missed. My middle daughter is very much NT. Other than a personality that entails a very stubborn streak (which she gets from mom) she is extrememly "normal". My youngest daughter has some very similar traits to my son. We are watching her developement closely. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that she is AS also but she has been in early childhood since she was 3 and definitely has some cognitive language delay. My approach is to be proactive without jumping to any conclusions. She is nearing the age where if there are more issues they will start to become more noticible as school gets more difficult. Hope that this helps a little.Vickie>> Parents with multiple children, could you please write a few of your insights on the younger siblings of children with Asperger's? I have two boys, close in age --- the older is diagnosed with AS. I am constantly puzzling over whether his younger brother is presenting with actual AS characteristics, or whether he is shadowing his older brother. Can anyone relate, and how did you begin the process of figuring out what is AS for the second time, versus what are learned behaviors? My sons, by the way, are very similar in personality, academics, likes and dislikes.> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 It was definitely a positive for me. Without my brother and his problems, I would not be who I am today and probably would have never chosen to work in this field, (or adopt children with similar issues.) Lindsey sen http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com On Wed, Dec 23, 2009 at 9:10 AM, and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote:  Awesome, Lindsey,  I totally agree that, although siblings will be siblings,,,,,,,,they have more compassion for others who struggle. Big time. Maybe that's a " positive " out of all this.  Robin  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 It's genetic, so I think there are multiple traits that are present in family members to some degree or another. I have 5 kids total, 2 have HFA. But out of the 5 we have a mix of traits and disabilities in varying degrees. Dyslexia runs through the family and 3 kids have it. One has a milder form of it that never was dx'd. Yet another has hyperlexia, the opposite. We see a lot of sensory issues running through the kids who don't have HFA - my youngest, for example, screamed in public bathrooms for years because of the noise and often wears his shirts inside out for comfort. My dd has to have her clothes " feel " a certain way or she won't wear them. Just stuff like that. It's a bit more than " normal/typical " but not so much it would have a siren going off. I think you should take all the siblings seriously as far as behaviors and issues. Testing will be able to tell if they are able to do things or have real problems that require attention. So if you suspect and it affects quality of life, then you need to schedule testing. I think a lot of people have shadow symptoms and self-dx this stuff. So I would judge by how it is affecting quality of life and ability to learn. Roxanna " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke ( ) Siblings of AS children Parents with multiple children, could you please write a few of your insights on the younger siblings of children with Asperger's? I have two boys, close in age --- the older is diagnosed with AS. I am constantly puzzling over whether his younger brother is presenting with actual AS characteristics, or whether he is shadowing his older brother. Can anyone relate, and how did you begin the process of figuring out what is AS for the second time, versus what are learned behaviors? My sons, by the way, are very similar in personality, academics, likes and dislikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 What about compassion for their siblings? I have a dd who is awesome with other people with disabilities. In fact, she plans to go to college to get a degree in special education. But she has zero tolerance for her little brother with HFA. She gets so easily annoyed by him. I have talked to my friends and they have shared the same problem with siblings who get so annoyed and overwhelmed by the problems. It's only really been a problem lately - this past year. Maybe it happens when they get older? I just see that she wishes that he would grow out of it and when he can't/doesn't, she loses patients with him. Roxanna " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke Re: ( ) Re: Siblings of AS children Awesome, Lindsey,  I totally agree that, although siblings will be siblings,,,,,,,,they have more compassion for others who struggle. Big time. Maybe that's a " positive " out of all this.  Robin  This is a very interesting topic. I have a few thoughts on this. Let me first tell you that I have an 11 year old boy AS/PDD-NOS and two girls ages 8 and 5. On the first issue about seeing AS traits in the siblings I think there are a couple of factors. First as parents when we go through the diagnosis process and learning about our AS child we learn what to watch for. I think that almost everyone has AS triats on different levels but most are so slight or subtle that no one would notice them other than a parent that is looking. Secondly, based on the number of parents just on this forum alone that have multiple children on the spectrum I think that there must definitely be a genetic componant. And finally I think without a doubt younger siblings pick up on and duplicate the behaviors of their older siblings (good or bad). As for my kids, because my son was the oldest we had no idea about the AS or really any problems until he started school. We had no comparison but as our daughters have grown we now know that there were a lot of signs that we missed. My middle daughter is very much NT. Other than a personality that entails a very stubborn streak (which she gets from mom) she is extrememly " normal " . My youngest daughter has some very similar traits to my son. We are watching her developement closely. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that she is AS also but she has been in early childhood since she was 3 and definitely has some cognitive language delay. My approach is to be proactive without jumping to any conclusions. She is nearing the age where if there are more issues they will start to become more noticible as school gets more difficult. Hope that this helps a little. Vickie > > Parents with multiple children, could you please write a few of your insights on the younger siblings of children with Asperger's? I have two boys, close in age --- the older is diagnosed with AS. I am constantly puzzling over whether his younger brother is presenting with actual AS characteristics, or whether he is shadowing his older brother. Can anyone relate, and how did you begin the process of figuring out what is AS for the second time, versus what are learned behaviors? My sons, by the way, are very similar in personality, academics, likes and dislikes. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2009 Report Share Posted December 26, 2009 After reading what you wrote,,,,I kind of chuckled........and sighed. My daughter has incredible compassion for those who are different.....and usually has compassion for Ian. But,,,,,,as she's gotten older, she too, has been losing her abilitiy to "be as nice as she should" to him. I think that their relationship is losing the "she'll look out for him" part and becoming more typical.......meaning that she simply doesn't like him some of the time. At least that was the way btwn my brother and myself when we were young. Robin This is a very interesting topic. I have a few thoughts on this. Let me first tell you that I have an 11 year old boy AS/PDD-NOS and two girls ages 8 and 5.On the first issue about seeing AS traits in the siblings I think there are a couple of factors.. First as parents when we go through the diagnosis process and learning about our AS child we learn what to watch for. I think that almost everyone has AS triats on different levels but most are so slight or subtle that no one would notice them other than a parent that is looking. Secondly, based on the number of parents just on this forum alone that have multiple children on the spectrum I think that there must definitely be a genetic componant. And finally I think without a doubt younger siblings pick up on and duplicate the behaviors of their older siblings (good or bad).As for my kids, because my son was the oldest we had no idea about the AS or really any problems until he started school. We had no comparison but as our daughters have grown we now know that there were a lot of signs that we missed. My middle daughter is very much NT. Other than a personality that entails a very stubborn streak (which she gets from mom) she is extrememly "normal". My youngest daughter has some very similar traits to my son. We are watching her developement closely. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that she is AS also but she has been in early childhood since she was 3 and definitely has some cognitive language delay. My approach is to be proactive without jumping to any conclusions. She is nearing the age where if there are more issues they will start to become more noticible as school gets more difficult.Hope that this helps a little.Vickie>> Parents with multiple children, could you please write a few of your insights on the younger siblings of children with Asperger's? I have two boys, close in age --- the older is diagnosed with AS. I am constantly puzzling over whether his younger brother is presenting with actual AS characteristics, or whether he is shadowing his older brother. Can anyone relate, and how did you begin the process of figuring out what is AS for the second time, versus what are learned behaviors? My sons, by the way, are very similar in personality, academics, likes and dislikes.> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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