Re: telling your child about the birds and the bees

[Guest guest]

My DD is also 11. She is mentally disabled and really is in her own little

world most of the time. I don't think she evens knows the term " sleeping with

each other. " Puberty has started and I think we have about a year before she

gets her cycle. I really need to talk to her about it before it happens. I

think that talking about the birds and the bees is a natural part of talking

about a girl's body changing and maturing.

Have you spoken to her about puberty and the changes that are happening?

I agree to tell her before someone else does. I hate that my babysitter's

friends talked about things in front of us before my mom took the time to talk

to us. I would much rather have heard those things from an adult who cared

about me.

karla

>

> My 11 yod almost 12, doesn't know much about that topic. She still thinks

that the term " sleeping together " means literally that. Because her sister and

fiance would fall asleep on the couch she would think that they were. I told her

there is more to it than that and she doesn't want to know what that is. She is

not interested in knowing at all. I have held off telling her in the past b/c I

didn't think she was ready for it. She still is not I guess since she doesn't

want to hear about it. I just am concerned that she will hear it from someone

else or something. We home school so the chances of that are slim, but I just

don't know when she will be ready. Sooner or later I will have to, but when?

>

[Guest guest]

There is a really excellent book by American Girl that is just about girl's bodies and growing up and such (I think it's called like The Care and Keeping of You or something). I does talk about changing bodies, using feminine products, keeping clean, etc.. I'm sure that she's past most of this, but maybe it might be interesting for her none the less. I'm sure that when she's ready she will just start asking questions. At 12 if she's not at all interested it may be a good thing.

We have just the opposite problem here. Our son started puberty last year at 8 years old (he is our Aspie). He wanted to know absolutely EVERYTHING! We were really hesitant to tell him everything, but the little bugger took it upon himself to find out for himself if we weren't going to tell him. Apparently, when you do an engine search for "naked women" it brings up some pretty interesting stuff! YIKES!! Then we had some explaining to do.

Good luck with your situation! I'm sure that some day she will get curious and then you'll know it's time.

Beth

( ) telling your child about the birds and the bees

My 11 yod almost 12, doesn't know much about that topic. She still thinks that the term "sleeping together" means literally that. Because her sister and fiance would fall asleep on the couch she would think that they were. I told her there is more to it than that and she doesn't want to know what that is. She is not interested in knowing at all. I have held off telling her in the past b/c I didn't think she was ready for it. She still is not I guess since she doesn't want to hear about it. I just am concerned that she will hear it from someone else or something. We home school so the chances of that are slim, but I just don't know when she will be ready. Sooner or later I will have to, but when?

[Guest guest]

Hello. We told my son with AS when he was almost 11, I think, in the end of 4th

grade. We used a wonderful book called " The Wonderful Way that Babies are Made "

It is a Christian book, and it talks about God, so I don't know if that would

fit your beliefs. However, it is a great book and it has a story line which is

appropriate for 3-8 year olds and then the smaller print is something that 8-12

year olds can read on their own or with a parent. It is detailed enough to

explain the reality, but really nicely done and I don't think it would be scary

for your daughter.

If you want something more about adolescence, then I'd recommend " What's

Happening to my Body? " series by Lynda Madaras. We have the one for boys, but

there's one for girls, too. The one we have is called ON your makr, get set,

grow (for younger boys - says ages 8 and up).

Hope that helps!

Leah

>

> My 11 yod almost 12, doesn't know much about that topic. She still thinks

that the term " sleeping together " means literally that. Because her sister and

fiance would fall asleep on the couch she would think that they were. I told her

there is more to it than that and she doesn't want to know what that is. She is

not interested in knowing at all. I have held off telling her in the past b/c I

didn't think she was ready for it. She still is not I guess since she doesn't

want to hear about it. I just am concerned that she will hear it from someone

else or something. We home school so the chances of that are slim, but I just

don't know when she will be ready. Sooner or later I will have to, but when?

>

[Guest guest]

I agree the American Girl books are very good. I would say by age 12 they should

be told because in public school they talk about puberty in 6th grade. First I

talked about hormones and how the body changes in the 5th grade and bought her

deodorant. Then from there you can start talking about other changes as you grow

up. I told my daughter

and she was really interested in reading the American Girl books

to try to understand more.

She also did not understand why people are attracted to each other. This was a

hard concept for her to understand our therapist said to tell her not to worry

about that until she is much older.

In the girls group at school the therapist explained explicitly

changes in girls and boys. And the group wants to talk about this

topic almost every week the school therapist said (all special needs

kids).

Pam

>

> There is a really excellent book by American Girl that is just about

girl's bodies and growing up and such (I think it's called like The Care and

Keeping of You or something). I does talk about changing bodies, using feminine

products, keeping clean, etc.. I'm sure that she's past most of this, but maybe

it might be interesting for her none the less. I'm sure that when she's ready

she will just start asking questions. At 12 if she's not at all interested it

may be a good thing.

>

> We have just the opposite problem here. Our son started puberty last year

at 8 years old (he is our Aspie). He wanted to know absolutely EVERYTHING! We

were really hesitant to tell him everything, but the little bugger took it upon

himself to find out for himself if we weren't going to tell him. Apparently,

when you do an engine search for " naked women " it brings up some pretty

interesting stuff! YIKES!! Then we had some explaining to do.

>

> Good luck with your situation! I'm sure that some day she will get

curious and then you'll know it's time.

>

> Beth

>

> ( ) telling your child about the birds and the bees

>

>

>

> My 11 yod almost 12, doesn't know much about that topic. She still thinks

that the term " sleeping together " means literally that. Because her sister and

fiance would fall asleep on the couch she would think that they were. I told her

there is more to it than that and she doesn't want to know what that is. She is

not interested in knowing at all. I have held off telling her in the past b/c I

didn't think she was ready for it. She still is not I guess since she doesn't

want to hear about it. I just am concerned that she will hear it from someone

else or something. We home school so the chances of that are slim, but I just

don't know when she will be ready. Sooner or later I will have to, but when?

>

[Guest guest]

I had the same issues with Lucas. He was about 9 when he started asking

questions. We actually told him that sex = babies and babies = full time job, no

sports and no fun time and a very upset mommy. He wants to be a Marine so he

knew at that point he didn't want babies. He also made a comment about girls

being sexy at about 10 years old. I asked him what sexy meant to him. He looked

at me like I was dumb and said " duh mommy, that means she is hot and makes me

hot " ... I almost died of shock. This year (at 13) he told me that it only take

1 time and that he doesn't want to have kids yet. I am okay with that was my

response. Got to love these kids. I will have to look at the American Girl book

for my daughter (who is not on the spectrum) sounds like a good one to start

with. Thanks!

>

> There is a really excellent book by American Girl that is just about

girl's bodies and growing up and such (I think it's called like The Care and

Keeping of You or something). I does talk about changing bodies, using feminine

products, keeping clean, etc.. I'm sure that she's past most of this, but maybe

it might be interesting for her none the less. I'm sure that when she's ready

she will just start asking questions. At 12 if she's not at all interested it

may be a good thing.

>

> We have just the opposite problem here. Our son started puberty last year

at 8 years old (he is our Aspie). He wanted to know absolutely EVERYTHING! We

were really hesitant to tell him everything, but the little bugger took it upon

himself to find out for himself if we weren't going to tell him. Apparently,

when you do an engine search for " naked women " it brings up some pretty

interesting stuff! YIKES!! Then we had some explaining to do.

>

> Good luck with your situation! I'm sure that some day she will get

curious and then you'll know it's time.

>

> Beth

>

> ( ) telling your child about the birds and the bees

>

>

>

> My 11 yod almost 12, doesn't know much about that topic. She still thinks

that the term " sleeping together " means literally that. Because her sister and

fiance would fall asleep on the couch she would think that they were. I told her

there is more to it than that and she doesn't want to know what that is. She is

not interested in knowing at all. I have held off telling her in the past b/c I

didn't think she was ready for it. She still is not I guess since she doesn't

want to hear about it. I just am concerned that she will hear it from someone

else or something. We home school so the chances of that are slim, but I just

don't know when she will be ready. Sooner or later I will have to, but when?

>

[Guest guest]

There’s a book for kids with AS called Making Sense of Sex.

On 1/4/11 2:40 PM, " Chelle " <mrathswohl@...> wrote:

I had the same issues with Lucas. He was about 9 when he started asking questions. We actually told him that sex = babies and babies = full time job, no sports and no fun time and a very upset mommy. He wants to be a Marine so he knew at that point he didn't want babies. He also made a comment about girls being sexy at about 10 years old. I asked him what sexy meant to him. He looked at me like I was dumb and said " duh mommy, that means she is hot and makes me hot " ... I almost died of shock. This year (at 13) he told me that it only take 1 time and that he doesn't want to have kids yet. I am okay with that was my response. Got to love these kids. I will have to look at the American Girl book for my daughter (who is not on the spectrum) sounds like a good one to start with. Thanks!

>

> There is a really excellent book by American Girl that is just about girl's bodies and growing up and such (I think it's called like The Care and Keeping of You or something). I does talk about changing bodies, using feminine products, keeping clean, etc.. I'm sure that she's past most of this, but maybe it might be interesting for her none the less. I'm sure that when she's ready she will just start asking questions. At 12 if she's not at all interested it may be a good thing.

>

> We have just the opposite problem here. Our son started puberty last year at 8 years old (he is our Aspie). He wanted to know absolutely EVERYTHING! We were really hesitant to tell him everything, but the little bugger took it upon himself to find out for himself if we weren't going to tell him. Apparently, when you do an engine search for " naked women " it brings up some pretty interesting stuff! YIKES!! Then we had some explaining to do.

>

> Good luck with your situation! I'm sure that some day she will get curious and then you'll know it's time.

>

> Beth

>

> ( ) telling your child about the birds and the bees

>

>

>

> My 11 yod almost 12, doesn't know much about that topic. She still thinks that the term " sleeping together " means literally that. Because her sister and fiance would fall asleep on the couch she would think that they were. I told her there is more to it than that and she doesn't want to know what that is. She is not interested in knowing at all. I have held off telling her in the past b/c I didn't think she was ready for it. She still is not I guess since she doesn't want to hear about it. I just am concerned that she will hear it from someone else or something. We home school so the chances of that are slim, but I just don't know when she will be ready. Sooner or later I will have to, but when?

>

--

“Experience is the worst teacher: it gives the test before presenting the lesson.” --Vernon Law

[Guest guest]

Ha...when we went to talk to our son...he said...i already know ...I asked my friend (he is older). Plus they learn so much in Health classes. And, maybe it is better to tell them a little early as you said...they will learn it from someone else and maybe that person is not the one to be telling your child.

I will never forget when my son asked me what the middle finger meant. I asked why? He said someone did it on the bus. I said it means a bad word we don't use. A couple of weeks later, he says...I know what it means. I say yeah...who told you. A kid on the bus. I said that was really nice. He says, no mom, I asked him so he told me. OMG...I guess it is better to come from you rather than some kid on the bus.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Beth & Dave Schmidt <bethndave@...> Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 12:32:55 AMSubject: Re: ( ) telling your child about the birds and the bees

There is a really excellent book by American Girl that is just about girl's bodies and growing up and such (I think it's called like The Care and Keeping of You or something). I does talk about changing bodies, using feminine products, keeping clean, etc.. I'm sure that she's past most of this, but maybe it might be interesting for her none the less. I'm sure that when she's ready she will just start asking questions. At 12 if she's not at all interested it may be a good thing.

We have just the opposite problem here. Our son started puberty last year at 8 years old (he is our Aspie). He wanted to know absolutely EVERYTHING! We were really hesitant to tell him everything, but the little bugger took it upon himself to find out for himself if we weren't going to tell him. Apparently, when you do an engine search for "naked women" it brings up some pretty interesting stuff! YIKES!! Then we had some explaining to do.

Good luck with your situation! I'm sure that some day she will get curious and then you'll know it's time.

Beth

( ) telling your child about the birds and the bees

My 11 yod almost 12, doesn't know much about that topic. She still thinks that the term "sleeping together" means literally that. Because her sister and fiance would fall asleep on the couch she would think that they were. I told her there is more to it than that and she doesn't want to know what that is. She is not interested in knowing at all. I have held off telling her in the past b/c I didn't think she was ready for it. She still is not I guess since she doesn't want to hear about it. I just am concerned that she will hear it from someone else or something. We home school so the chances of that are slim, but I just don't know when she will be ready. Sooner or later I will have to, but when?