Guest guest Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 my son is starting to hit himself. it scares me. whenever he gets upset, frustrated, angry, or anxious he will start hurting himself. he is 3. i have tried telling him to stop, i have put him in time-out, i am trying to ignore it (thinking that maybe he wants the negetive attention) and nothing seems to be working. does anyone have any suggestions or insight about this matter? it will surely be appreciated. -Jacqui Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 As odd as it may sound he may want you to hold him. He may feel out of control of his emotions and might get reassurance from your touch. If he doesn't want to be touched your proximity and gentle voice may soothe him also. I wish you the best. That must be heartbreaking to watch. Sent from my iPhoneOn Jan 6, 2011, at 10:01 AM, "msjacqueline87" <msjacqueline87@...> wrote: my son is starting to hit himself. it scares me. whenever he gets upset, frustrated, angry, or anxious he will start hurting himself. he is 3. i have tried telling him to stop, i have put him in time-out, i am trying to ignore it (thinking that maybe he wants the negetive attention) and nothing seems to be working. does anyone have any suggestions or insight about this matter? it will surely be appreciated. -Jacqui Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 I would give him some other strategies to use when he's mad. If he wants to hit something, give him a special pillow he can hit when he's angry. So if he starts to hit himself, give him the pillow. Eventually, hopefully he'll seek out the pillow on his own after awhile. Make the focus on the things he can do when he's angry instead of the things he can't do. My son struggled with cognitive rigidity (still does, actually) so making sure what was stuck in his head was what I wanted (vs. what I didn't want) helped. Think about it...if you hear someone say "Don't stomp your feet" what's one of the first things that come to mind? For me, it's stomping my feet. If instead I say "please walk softly", the image in my head is softer walking. Hope that makes sense! From: msjacqueline87 <msjacqueline87@...> Sent: Thu, January 6, 2011 10:01:14 AMSubject: ( ) suggestions wanted my son is starting to hit himself. it scares me. whenever he gets upset, frustrated, angry, or anxious he will start hurting himself. he is 3. i have tried telling him to stop, i have put him in time-out, i am trying to ignore it (thinking that maybe he wants the negetive attention) and nothing seems to be working. does anyone have any suggestions or insight about this matter? it will surely be appreciated.-Jacqui Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 Have you seen an OT?? - possibly they could help with some sensory type things that could be used positively. i.e., for our 10yo it is important that she has some thign she can squeeze hard... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 Ok, well I will tell you what I have done with my daughter. She is nearly four and every time she starts "stimming" I have actually stopped her. She started to hit herself at one point and I stopped her. I have literally grabbed her hands and made her stop doing things, like lately she is picking at her eyelashes and I have told her to stop and then if she doesn't after a few tries then I literally grab her hands and gently make her stop. Her therapists have told me it is probably a good idea that I stop her because it can prevent it from getting worse in the future. However, I will say that it takes a LOT of perseverence and work. With her latest "stims" or whatever it is and picking her eyelashes I fear if I don't stop her that she will pick all of her eyelashes out (I have heard of children doing this).Carolyn my son is starting to hit himself. it scares me. whenever he gets upset, frustrated, angry, or anxious he will start hurting himself. he is 3. i have tried telling him to stop, i have put him in time-out, i am trying to ignore it (thinking that maybe he wants the negetive attention) and nothing seems to be working. does anyone have any suggestions or insight about this matter? it will surely be appreciated. -Jacqui Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 My 6 yo son used to do this. He would slap/scratch/hit his face. Whenever he would get upset he will do this until he had long red streaks down his face. It was horrible. My husband once tried to hold him so as to stop him & it resulted in my son dislocating his own elbow, he was thrashing about so much. On the bright side, the behavior lasted for only 6 months. We made a visual chart (kinda like a social story) about what was appropriate when he got upset. It seems kinda crazy now, but we permitted him to tear up Kleenex. It got out lots of his frustration & kept his hands busy. We definitely acknowledged his feelings & took his intense feelings very seriously, but took a firm stance on him working through his emotions via other outlets (tearing tissues, hitting pillows, stomping his feet). Good luck. I hope his behavior is short-lived. -- > > my son is starting to hit himself. it scares me. whenever he gets upset, frustrated, angry, or anxious he will start hurting himself. he is 3. i have tried telling him to stop, i have put him in time-out, i am trying to ignore it (thinking that maybe he wants the negetive attention) and nothing seems to be working. does anyone have any suggestions or insight about this matter? it will surely be appreciated. > -Jacqui > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 That really brings back memories. Can an adult have Asperger's and not know it? I used to pick my eyelashes, eyebrows, and face ALL THE TIME when I was young! I never got any help for it. Cathleen From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Thu, January 6, 2011 8:29:16 PMSubject: Re: ( ) suggestions wanted Ok, well I will tell you what I have done with my daughter. She is nearly four and every time she starts "stimming" I have actually stopped her. She started to hit herself at one point and I stopped her. I have literally grabbed her hands and made her stop doing things, like lately she is picking at her eyelashes and I have told her to stop and then if she doesn't after a few tries then I literally grab her hands and gently make her stop. Her therapists have told me it is probably a good idea that I stop her because it can prevent it from getting worse in the future. However, I will say that it takes a LOT of perseverence and work. With her latest "stims" or whatever it is and picking her eyelashes I fear if I don't stop her that she will pick all of her eyelashes out (I have heard of children doing this).Carolyn my son is starting to hit himself. it scares me. whenever he gets upset, frustrated, angry, or anxious he will start hurting himself. he is 3. i have tried telling him to stop, i have put him in time-out, i am trying to ignore it (thinking that maybe he wants the negetive attention) and nothing seems to be working. does anyone have any suggestions or insight about this matter? it will surely be appreciated.-Jacqui Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 I would imagine so, there are lots of teenagers and older children being diagnosed.... I think there is a real difficulty in the fact that our children are EXTREMELY intelligent!!! This helps them to fool others very effectively. This is exactly what I am going through right now, and trust me, I had tears at our ARD meeting today!!!CarolynFrom: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...> Sent: Fri, January 7, 2011 1:33:29 PMSubject: Re: ( ) suggestions wanted That really brings back memories. Can an adult have Asperger's and not know it? I used to pick my eyelashes, eyebrows, and face ALL THE TIME when I was young! I never got any help for it. Cathleen From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Thu, January 6, 2011 8:29:16 PMSubject: Re: ( ) suggestions wanted Ok, well I will tell you what I have done with my daughter. She is nearly four and every time she starts "stimming" I have actually stopped her. She started to hit herself at one point and I stopped her. I have literally grabbed her hands and made her stop doing things, like lately she is picking at her eyelashes and I have told her to stop and then if she doesn't after a few tries then I literally grab her hands and gently make her stop. Her therapists have told me it is probably a good idea that I stop her because it can prevent it from getting worse in the future. However, I will say that it takes a LOT of perseverence and work. With her latest "stims" or whatever it is and picking her eyelashes I fear if I don't stop her that she will pick all of her eyelashes out (I have heard of children doing this).Carolyn my son is starting to hit himself. it scares me. whenever he gets upset, frustrated, angry, or anxious he will start hurting himself. he is 3. i have tried telling him to stop, i have put him in time-out, i am trying to ignore it (thinking that maybe he wants the negetive attention) and nothing seems to be working. does anyone have any suggestions or insight about this matter? it will surely be appreciated.-Jacqui Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 Hi Jacqui, Suggestion: you can see if your son will squeeze a koosh ball or some other item when he becomes anxious, angry, etc... When he does this you can reinforce this "incompatible" behavior to hitting himself. If he squeezes a ball he can not hit himself at the same time. Provide reinforcement such as a small treat paired with praise (" Great job squeezing your ball when you are angry.") It is important to tell child specifically why they are being praised rather than just simply saying "good job." After the praise, immediately present reinforcement such as cracker, cookie, sticker, bubble.kiss etc...) If he receives effective reinforcement for squeezing the ball but nothing when he hits himself you may see hitting behavior diminish. Good luck, Kim Cioce, BCBA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 sorry for the ignorance, what is an ARD meeting? Cathleen From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Fri, January 7, 2011 12:49:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) suggestions wanted I would imagine so, there are lots of teenagers and older children being diagnosed.... I think there is a real difficulty in the fact that our children are EXTREMELY intelligent!!! This helps them to fool others very effectively. This is exactly what I am going through right now, and trust me, I had tears at our ARD meeting today!!!Carolyn From: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...> Sent: Fri, January 7, 2011 1:33:29 PMSubject: Re: ( ) suggestions wanted That really brings back memories. Can an adult have Asperger's and not know it? I used to pick my eyelashes, eyebrows, and face ALL THE TIME when I was young! I never got any help for it. Cathleen From: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Thu, January 6, 2011 8:29:16 PMSubject: Re: ( ) suggestions wanted Ok, well I will tell you what I have done with my daughter. She is nearly four and every time she starts "stimming" I have actually stopped her. She started to hit herself at one point and I stopped her. I have literally grabbed her hands and made her stop doing things, like lately she is picking at her eyelashes and I have told her to stop and then if she doesn't after a few tries then I literally grab her hands and gently make her stop. Her therapists have told me it is probably a good idea that I stop her because it can prevent it from getting worse in the future. However, I will say that it takes a LOT of perseverence and work. With her latest "stims" or whatever it is and picking her eyelashes I fear if I don't stop her that she will pick all of her eyelashes out (I have heard of children doing this).Carolyn my son is starting to hit himself. it scares me. whenever he gets upset, frustrated, angry, or anxious he will start hurting himself. he is 3. i have tried telling him to stop, i have put him in time-out, i am trying to ignore it (thinking that maybe he wants the negetive attention) and nothing seems to be working. does anyone have any suggestions or insight about this matter? it will surely be appreciated.-Jacqui Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 For us it was the meeying to go over the school evaluation...CarolynFrom: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...>Sent: Friday, January 07, 2011 8:09 PM Subject: Re: ( ) suggestions wanted sorry for the ignorance, what is an ARD meeting?CathleenFrom: Carolyn Weisbard <ccweisbard@...> Sent: Fri, January 7, 2011 12:49:22 PMSubject: Re: ( ) suggestions wanted I would imagine so, there are lots of teenagers and older children being diagnosed.... I think there is a real difficulty in the fact that our children are EXTREMELY intelligent!!! This helps them to fool others very effectively. This is exactly what I am going through right now, and trust me, I had tears at our ARD meeting today!!!CarolynFrom: Cathleen Veloria[The entire original message is not included] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2011 Report Share Posted January 8, 2011 Poor guy. He is so young. Prozac has been tested in very young autistic kids as young as 2 years old. About half of these young kids are responders. (Dr. Hollander's book " Clinical Treatment of Autism " ). You may want to see a pediatric neurologist. A behaviorist that works with autistic kids may really help you figure out the triggers and reduce these behaviors. I think this would be a good idea before medication is trialed. The advice that others gave you about working with an OT may be helpful if there is something that will calm him down when upset. Sometimes rolling them up like a hotdog in a blanket, or jumping on a tramopline, swinging them in a swing. Something that is a distraction that they really like. But if it is a meltdown/rage it is going to be hard to do much except to be a calm presence. Distraction sometimes works well. Like turning on a favorite TV show DVD. This worked or us for many years. It is so distrubing to see these kids in such pain. Hang in there it is hard, real hard. Pam > > my son is starting to hit himself. it scares me. whenever he gets upset, frustrated, angry, or anxious he will start hurting himself. he is 3. i have tried telling him to stop, i have put him in time-out, i am trying to ignore it (thinking that maybe he wants the negetive attention) and nothing seems to be working. does anyone have any suggestions or insight about this matter? it will surely be appreciated. > -Jacqui > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2011 Report Share Posted January 8, 2011 Might try a type of music he likes, my son will sometimes just stop and mellow if i put on a walkman type thing on him. I dont ask him I just put it on and quickly put it on his head... One thing works one week and then doesn't the next, It is always a guessing game here. In a message dated 1/7/2011 10:00:57 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, kcioce@... writes: Hi Jacqui, Suggestion: you can see if your son will squeeze a koosh ball or some other item when he becomes anxious, angry, etc... When he does this you can reinforce this "incompatible" behavior to hitting himself. If he squeezes a ball he can not hit himself at the same time. Provide reinforcement such as a small treat paired with praise (" Great job squeezing your ball when you are angry.") It is important to tell child specifically why they are being praised rather than just simply saying "good job." After the praise, immediately present reinforcement such as cracker, cookie, sticker, bubble.kiss etc...) If he receives effective reinforcement for squeezing the ball but nothing when he hits himself you may see hitting behavior diminish. Good luck, Kim Cioce, BCBA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.